Tag: Graduation

Let’s talk about the courage it takes as an immigrant student to settle down in a different country.

Having an overseas graduate degree is surely a badge of honour but it doesn’t even begin to encapsulate the mental strength it takes to feel like you belong.

When I came to the UK to do my masters, I hardly knew what to expect. I was mesmerised by the lush scenery and the landscape of the country. 

I was intrigued by the way people communicated with each other. The politeness made me feel safe but it took me a while to readjust my tone.

I discovered my knowledge of English (which I’ve studied since I was a child) was so different from the way natives speak the language. 

It was fascinating to learn but I must say that there is an invisible dialect barrier that can sometimes be confusing.

While my mind thinks in 3-4 different languages and the emotions that come with it, a native English speaker carries the simplicity of the one language they’ve mastered since birth. 

I thought about it and realised, wait a minute, I’m in England right now, they speak English here. This is THEIR language. Of course they’ll have more of a command over it than I ever will. To them, I will always be multilingual even though technically, English is my first language too.

Once I set my pride of knowing a deluxe version of the language aside, I observed the different mannerisms, lifestyles and attitudes people from all backgrounds have towards life.

This is where the hard part took over, it all went downhill really quickly but eventually, I made it to the summit of change.

Growing up, I was pampered and kept away from chores and cleaning for most of my life. 

This is a typical household situation for any middle-class family in India, I was not a princess. I certainly felt like it was a princess treatment when I got to DIY-England though.

As a student, trying to comprehend a new education system coupled with the responsibility of cooking and cleaning for myself, I hate to say it but it was not easy.

It was like being thrown into an ocean after being in a hot-spring my entire life. However, I never complained, thankfully whining is not a part of my gene. And I understood that someday I will have to learn these tasks anyway so I may as well do it now. It’s just wild deep diving into it for the first time with no practice.

A lot of growth took place for me in learning these experiences. I celebrated when I cooked my first ever chicken curry, I cried when I had to deep clean my room after a soul-sucking assignment.

The introduction of these building blocks towards adulthood at the age of 23 was daunting at first. But when I finally got to see the results of my labour and looked outside my window, I realised I had made it.

I refused to let the challenges of being on my own in a new country, meeting new people and graduating consume me. I allowed this new way of living to consume and empower me instead.

Day by day I was evolving into a person I hardly recognised but in the greatest way. It wasn’t just about being in the UK or finishing my masters, it was about saying yes to turning over a new leaf in the plot of my own life, irrespective of where I was.

When it comes to attitudes, I sat in the observer’s seat for quite a while. To understand the kind of connections I would make with such a diverse crowd.

I honestly felt deeply lonely for the first year after university and living in an intimidating city like London.

I would still take myself on dates, solo-trips, museums, parks and movies. I tried the hyper-independent lifestyle for a while but at some point, everyone needs companionship.

And it’s not like I haven’t tried, they just never seemed to stick. I’d reach out to them on their socials the next day and they never replied.

I would assume the worst and think they didn’t want an Indian friend, they didn’t find me interesting enough or that they probably forgot my existence.

Whatever the reason was, I just found it odd how I know their childhood traumas and how I’m just one of their Instagram followers now.

I developed a radar over time as to who has had more exposure to people of different nationalities in their intimate circles. 

I’ve encountered situations where people would pick up on my accent and put me in a box for a one-time interaction and say, “You’re from India aren’t you?” and I would never see them again.

I’ve encountered people who mean well when they say, “Oh I’ve had these Indian friends who I absolutely loved, incredible food!” and then I’d never see them again. 

But I’ve also encountered people who say nothing at all about where I’m from and deeply engage in human conversations that thrill me (finally). I learn something new, they learn something new and I would think they’d be added as a new friend and yet, I’d never see them again. 

I found it strange and it almost made me believe that something was wrong with me. 

I could consider some of it as ignorance and the others as unlucky encounters but no, that was easy, something felt off.

It wasn’t in these self-deprecating explanations that I found my answer. The answer was in my passion and the purpose behind why I came here in the first place.

I reflected on the emotional and physical investment of me walking the roads of a foreign land. 

I took my worries and doubts to therapy so I could tilt the arrow from external validation of belonging to the internal awareness of recognising my own talents and potential.

The seeds I wanted to plant in this country weren’t just about the exciting, free and eventful life I wanted to live in London. 

I wanted to blossom into a version of myself that was intentional about the direction I was taking towards the four pillars of my life, career, finances, health and love. 

The more energy I spent on self-development, the more I attracted people who fell in support of that alignment.

No matter the nationality, race, gender and sexuality, they were lovely souls who came in the form of angels to push me higher in my elevation. 

These angels are the reason I am able to sustain the foundation I’ve built in a new country. A foundation for self-love, building meaningful connections and taking a positive approach towards my dreams. 

There’s an air of inspiration that I start to breathe whenever I meet people who tell me stories about their relationship with hard work. When they share their equations of how they deal with the four pillars of their lives. 

It became crucial for me to understand that not everyone has the same journey. The concept of hard work is not linear and I had to decode the ego I attached with my definition of it and be empathic towards other definitions.

It truly is enriching when I look back and see how far I’ve come to recognise myself and remind myself to cherish the small victories.

My homeland India provided the canvas for my dreams. The UK gave me the tools I needed to paint the vision for it. But it’s me who gets to play around with the colours and wave the brush to be the creator of my own life.