This eerie planet changed my life. But what does Saturn have to do with anything?
Is it true what they say about Saturn’s Return and the transformation it brings?
If you know anything about astrology or retrogrades, you may be familiar with where I’m taking this. But for now let’s address the elephant in our solar system, the enigmatic Saturn.
Saturn is THE planet that shapes us into who we truly are and plays a role in our conscience for character development. These lessons come in mysterious forms and it’s upto us to catch it and break a pattern for the greater good.
However, if you don’t care for astrology, open your mind to the possibility that this work of fiction makes me a better human everyday.
My conversations with Saturn:
I asked Saturn with its countless moons and icy rings, why must you pierce through my emotions so profusely? There’s only so much I’m allowed to feel in this civilised world or they will think I’m mental. For thinking too much and living too less.
Saturn whispered to me, “And who are they? Who are these people who made you think before you could act? Who’s stopping you from living?”
I choked at first, I felt uneasy that a voice in me cared to question me rather than defeat me. I said to him that it was the opinions given to me over the years by family, friends and lovers. My family struggles to take my personality out of the crib and I sought refuge from the devastating state of my family in my friendships and relationships.
Saturn corrected me and said, “As a child you take. As a child you respect those who take care of you and learn how to behave. Tell me, are you a child now? Will you continue to give your inner child the stage, or will you take the stage as an adult and create your own audience?”
I shuddered as the lifestyle I’ve lived so far seemed to be crashing at my feet. The inner child is my imagination. Am I holding on to the miseries of my past to justify the lack of effort in the present moment?
I ask Saturn if the voices that linger in my mind are there to deceive me. Could they possibly be voices of others that are used on themselves as false wisdom?
Saturn smiled and said, “Who knows? Is it something you wish to know? Or forgo?”
I was lost, am I just confusing myself? What is the point of knowing and how will I ever know? It’s all a silly guessing game and time spent worrying about minds that I can never read.
I’ve met some brave people along the way who embody the sayings, “Don’t worry be happy” or “Live your life to the fullest”. I feel grateful for these encounters because they show me that the path I’ve readjusted to seems to be working. And that my conversations with Saturn are real.
It makes me wonder how they seem to do everything so effortlessly. How are they so live-laugh-love? I ask Saturn, what’s their secret?
Saturn answers plainly, “Today you could live your life to the fullest, tomorrow could be the worst day of your life. Be grateful for the day a light from the outside has been shown to you. On days when darkness takes over your speech, a simple memory of that light will bring back your words.”
I was in awe of the wisdom this mystical planet was inducing in me. It never felt like a voice that was trying to break me down to feel worthless, it was breaking down the unnecessary clutter in my mind to acknowledge my worth.
As a person who loves decoding thoughts and emotions, judgement comes knocking on my door as a regular guest. But the kind of judgement I fear most is the one I have towards myself.
I worry that self-judgement is a silent epidemic which harbours resentment within oneself and blinds the vision enough to look at another as an object of gratification. Gratification of the seven deadly sins as they say.
With a curious mind I asked Saturn, is it even possible to overcome judgement of all kinds? Or must we learn to live with it and not allow it to yield its weapons?
Saturn agreed for the first time and added, “Judgement towards another is judgement towards oneself. Why step on someone’s toes when you fully intend to kick them on the chest? Either way, a spirit has been harmed, theirs and yours. And in the spirit of humanity, you have lost your way again. You find yourself ten steps behind but remember, forgiveness never keeps count and always moves forward.”
The funny thing about wisdom or guidance through any source is how one perceives it and implements it in their own lives. The intention which I write this article will never be reflected the way I wish for it to; but it will resonate with some, one or maybe none.
But perhaps that’s the journey of self-discovery. And Saturn, with its nonchalant advice, comes to teach you that and more if you care to listen carefully.
Here’s a lovely song by international pop-star, SZA who talks about her journey with Saturn.
2Shades Magazine 