ABBA 'Thank You For The Music' a celebration at Spiritland Royal Festival Hall, London
Steven Smith gets his dancing shoes on and reviews ABBA Voyage
Yes, we certainly need a tonic right now for all. Prices are going through the roof and with a summer of elections it is going to be season of discontent.
What we need to take our minds off things is something that, long after you watched it, leaves you with a smile and lifts you. That is why entertainment was so important during the war and let’s face it, we are all battling every day.
“If you can make people laugh you give them a little vacation.” Winston Churchill.
What needs to be prescribed is ABBA Voyage at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. For weeks before I went to see this immersive experience, terribly gifted writers and those in the arts seemed to struggle to vocalise what they had seen.
But whatever it was, rave reviews and statements like “The best night of my life” were being posted all over social media.
As I walked the fifteen minutes from Stratford station through the Olympic Park certainly no one ruined the surprise.
On your journey you are confronted by a sea of people steeped in ABBA Hysteria, many dressed as their heroes: Agnetha Falskog, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Anni-FridLyngstad.
Approaching the actual arena (specially made for the show), even if you’re not an ABBA fan, you’re not human if you’re not starting to smile a little. It is as if everyone has taken a happy pill. Even the security and arena staff are very friendly.
Safely inside, the excitement and energy was accelerating to the level of an explosion, as if your eyes were not able to take any more of this visual feast of the actual arena and those that paid to come see the show.
Your brain goes straight into explode mode when the lights dim and the Swedish forest screen lifts and four virtual ABBAtars take to the stage. So convincing is the entire thing I was left breathless for a moment as I was not sure what was real and what was not. A little like the “The Houses of Parliament”.
ABBA last played in London for seven nights in 1979. I promise you truly it could not have been better than this. Stunning light affects dazzle the 3000 capacity room. A very much real 10-piece band dazzle the filled room.
This is so real they even have short interlude videos for the band to change. Andersson, Fältskog, Björn Ulvaeus and Anni-Frid Lyngstad danced across the giant stage, embraced each other.
They laughed about their 1974 Eurovision outfits and the UK giving them zero points. When they appeared in huge proportions on the big screens they had the mildest plasticine quality, but otherwise they were astonishingly real.
They did most of the hits, of course, and the best two from last year’s surprise comeback album. As you would expect, the arena erupted when “Dancing Queen” was performed.
Just as you thought there were no more surprises left, ABBA walks on as they are now, as they did on opening night. I think it might have been holograms a few weeks in.
For days afterwards this extraordinary experience had me smiling. God knows we all need that right now. There is only one problem with prescribing ABBA Voyage to everyone. The price this venture needs to rake in is £140 million to break even, with some tickets at £195.
“Money, Money, Money” it is rich man’s show. Dance floor tickets at £50 are more affordable but sell like hot seats. To be honest I never sat down for long enough that night, being a real “Dancing Queen”.
It is fast becoming a world of advanced technology. Just think, with the ABBA voyage, we can not only tell our grand kids how good some bands were, we can actually show them, and dear old dame Elton can take a rest.
A five-star quality experience you will never want to leave
A Steven Smith travel feature
From the moment you walk into majestic lobby of the Rixos Sharm El Sheikh, you feel the stress flow from your body.
In fact, it’s just like coming home, with guests greeted by the smiling, multi-national reception team as though they were favourite family members.
Rixos is a five star resort and well deserves its rating. It’s more like a town than a hotel, and is run with military precision. But the precision with which it’s run belies the warmth of the staff.
It’s a family hotel, but there’s an adult-only buffet if kids are not your thing. The main pool is for families but there are several beautiful pools for adults although, sadly, they are not heated (unlike the main pool).
At this time of year there are not many children and those who were there seemed very well behaved. And there are plenty of organised activities to keep them occupied if Mum and Dad want a little time together.
The bar snacks are great and nothing seems too much bother for the attentive staff, who seem to know what you want before you know yourself. Their attention to detail cannot be faulted.
We all know that the buffet can be a real disappointment in many Egyptian hotels – my personal tip is to avoid salads unless drowned in lemon juice.
But the Rixos Nefertiti buffet is truly the best I have ever experienced. This is how five star food should be: I never once hesitated about eating anything that was served. And there are screens to see just how clean the kitchens are.
With Addiction Therapist and my best friend, Mike Power
The service is outstanding although there was one little niggle – waiters in a top hotel should not greet customers with “Alright mate” or “lovely jubbly.” Of course they were only trying to be friendly but not all their British guests are characters from Only Fools and Horses.
It was no doubt well-intentioned, but it grated. That apart, staff at the Nefertiti buffet could not be faulted, nor at the Zodiac buffet for families, which has great barbecued food.
On the beach, there’s a snack bar that turns into a seafood restaurant at night. Here you can get great salads and pizza but my tip is to avoid the burgers and chicken, as they were served lukewarm both times we tried them. Once again, though, the service was faultless.
There are seven A’ la carte restaurants, although, sadly, I will not have time to try them all. But you get to visit each one as part of your all-inclusive tariff. The food in the Italian Callainia really was of the highest standard, as was the service.
It lacked a little in atmosphere, though – more like eating in a conference room at an airport hotel.The Japanese sushi -bar was one of the eating highlights of the trip just fabulous .
The Chinese was Feng Shui restaurant, in a lovely room with equally lovely staff. Having had Chinese food around the world, my verdict is that it was OK, rather than 5 star.
To book the restaurants, you need to make a reservation each day at reception. It’s advisable to book early but be warned – there is a fee if you fail to turn up. The dress code is smart casual.
I’ve come here for a rest with a friend but here are plenty of activities and the animation team have kept us informed of evening activities. The one night we did attend the show was very professional.
The gym is really well run and there’s a steam sauna and jacuzzi, although the jacuzzi was lukewarm both times I tried it. The gentleman running the gym was very attentive.
There’s also a spa, and I fancied a massage, but their hard-sell techniques really put me off. You are quoted one price at reception but when you’re on the beach sales staff approach you quoting another price and try to make deals.
The hard-sell spa people are really the only downside of this lovely hotel and they do let it down. It’s just not appropriate in a five star hotel to have guests hassled on the beach – let’s face it, there are enough non-hotel boat tour people to do that. You expect it in Naama Bay, but not here. And it’s bad business for the hotel – I wanted a massage, but I didn’t have one because of the hassle.
Rooms are spacious and of a high standard. Again, the staff were outstanding – the cleaner took such care and was so professional, he should be trained up as a manager.There is internet every where in the hotel and room unlike many hotels in the area
One tip is to avoid the so-called “Express” transfer to the hotel. It’s anything but. We had a long drive, dropping five people off on the edge of Naama Bay before coming back past the airport. Then we were hassled heavily to tip the driver, even after being treated like cattle on a journey that was far too long. So, my strong advice is to book a private car transfer; it only costs £10 more and is well worth it.
Once you get to the hotel, though, that all fades away. At Rixos, all-inclusive means all-inclusive and, as you wrap yourself in the fluffy blue beach towels, protected by windbreakers and soaking up the rays, you may decide that you never want to leave this paradise of a hotel.
Meet the woman with the magic touch: Iryna O’Kelly ! Iryna is not just a skincare expert; she is an aesthetic artist.
Unusually, along with her degree in medicine, Iryna also has a degree in fine art. She views her clients as a blank canvas on which she creates a totally natural look that will never reveal the secret that any work has been done.
It’s this unique and individually tailored approach to anti-ageing skin treatments that has the who’s who of London clamouring to see her.
Steven Smith chats to her and gets her top five beauty tips.
1. What would you say was the most important beauty tip you would maybe pass on to your daughter?
Inner beauty is important. Surround yourself with positive people and a strong core of family and friends. Just look at happy people—they have a sparkle in their eyes. If you go looking for trouble or drama, it will always find you, and it will show in your looks too.
2. Your aesthetic treatments are varied, but you are a huge proponent of PRP that uses the client’s own blood. Can you tell us a little about it?
PRP can be used to treat everything from skin rejuvenation, hair loss, arthritis, injuries, and it will help enhance fillers.
PRP stands for platelet-rich plasma; it’s a substance that’s thought to promote healing when injected. Plasma is a component of your blood that contains special “factors,” or proteins, that help your blood to clot. It also contains proteins that support cell growth. Researchers have produced PRP by isolating plasma from blood and concentrating it.
Blood is taken from the client, and then it is placed in a machine called the Camlab Clinical Centrifuge. It is spun around at 300-4500 miles per hour, and the blood is separated, leaving the clear plasma. It is also a good indication as to how your health is: the clearer it is, the better your health.
The PRP is then injected into the area needed. Most of my clients have it for hair loss or many into the face area. The results are often instant, giving them a fresher look, and it gets better over the next few weeks. It is also a very natural look.
3. What would you suggest is the most overrated bit of advice on the market?
Make sure you moisturise your skin; use a sunblock instead. Too much moisturiser can leave skin looking tired, so use a factor 20 sunscreen in the morning; you’ll see a difference quite quickly.
4. You have been in the news for your mesotherapy treatments for hands. Do you still use this method, or has something new come on the market for ageing hands?
I still use mesotherapy, but more in combination with stem cells and fillers. It gives an amazing long-lasting result.
5. There is a lot of buzz around stem cell therapy these days. Is it something you would recommend?
I am a huge supporter of stem cell therapies and believe that they are the future of aesthetics. Stem cell treatment aesthetics involves the injection of stem cells into the skin, through IV, or applied to the skin after laser or micro-needling procedures. The injection contains stem cells, growth factors, cytokines, hyaluronic acid, exosomes, and other cellular products which are involved in the body’s regenerative functions. Stem cells are there the future of aesthetics.
Fans of Iryna include EatEnders actress Nicola Duffett and beauty expert Steven Smith , Danielle Carly Mason .
Designed for babies’ bottoms to ward off infection, sores and to keep skin smooth, the wonder cream has to be one of the best anti-ageing moisturisers I have ever tried. At just £2.54 a pot, it is a must have in your beauty cabinet. Baby Bottom Butter by Waitrose is my Number One skin care product. I apply it in the evening before bed and I wake up with my skin looking fresh and feeling moist. It can be used during the day but use only a small amount as it can make you skin look waxy, particularly if you have Botox, when it can make your face look like a mask! But apply liberally before bed. You won’t believe how good Baby Bottom Butter is. It flies off the shelves so when you find it in stock, buy several pots at a time to ensure your supply.
Best shower gel I’m Plant Based original source body wash
If you cannot afford Jo Malone or Molton Brown shower gel then try a gel packed full of Original Source plant based good stuff & consciously sourced natural ingredients. Pop the top for a lavish lather of lush, blooming lavender, harvested fresh from the field, along with evergreen sprigs of just-plucked rosemary. Naturally gentle, animal-loving, and oh-so-foamy. Immerse yourself in nature with their 96% Natural Origin body washes created to stimulate your skin & senses for a fresh, sensorial shower experience. I carry this in my gym bag and it is a must have at home. At around two pounds you cannot go wrong. https://www.originalsource.co.uk/products/im-plant-based/lavender-rosemary-body-wash/
Baking Soda gives body to the hair
Mix two teaspoons of baking soda with your favourite shampoo, apply to wet hair, then rub in well and leave for a minute. Rinse and condition then style. This will add body and shine and give your hair a new lease of life. Repeat every two weeks. It’s also better than most deodorants – just apply a teaspoon under each arm. But be careful not to use baking powder as it’s not the same as baking soda….
There are so many expensive hair loss treatments out there. Hair transplants can break the bank. At the first sight of hair loss, or if you just want to thicken the hair, try Watermans Grow me. Watermans was founded by Gail and Matt Waterman, who both suffered for many years with different variations of hair loss problems. In 2012 Watermans was launched and now today they sell a product every 30 seconds across their network of distributors around the globe. The company’s main focus is making products that actually help others in some way, by using the finest ingredients and putting customer results first before profits.
They donate their hair growth shampoo called ‘Grow Me’ to chemo wards across the UK and other Waterman’s products to the NHS and Ukraine, also supporting many grassroots and football teams across the country along the way. Matt & Gail Waterman pride themselves on giving back to the community through charity or when someone needs that helping hand.
It was hard not to snigger briefly at the sign on the old faithful London Underground, “DO NOT STARE”.
How can you possibly avoid making eye contact (no matter how hard you try) with that man who is picking his nose so hard his finger is almost coming out his eyeball?! Or that couple that are so engaged in kissing it is hard to know where to look, especially as they break contact for a second and she moves her tongue into his ear.
Let’s not forget the joy of living in London’s cosmopolitan city; the amazing, stylish people travelling through or living here. The Tube can be a reality show with a new episode every time you travel or change lines on your journey.
I personally loved going to the airport early for the joy of ‘people watching’ as they were just fascinating. I loved it in the days when the loudspeaker would call out, “Mrs Jones, please come to desk seven. You have an urgent message,” much as I stopped short of going to see who she was.
My mind was filled with plots that maybe she was running away with a lover and he had changed his mind, or the likes. Yes, I am sure it was something dull and simple but having an active imagination has got me through the best and worst of times.
The joy of observing life and its cast of characters is something that keeps me going. After all, Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.”
But back to the London underground that has been with us since 1863. Of course, I did not immediately notice the smaller print: “INTRUSIVE STARING OF A SEXUAL NATURE IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND IS NOT TOLERATED”.
I get the point now. Ten years ago, I interviewed twelve page three models about dating and sex. Not one had not been sexually assaulted on the tube one way or another, from being brushed up against to actually being touched, especially in rush hour. Certainly people should feel free to travel without any fear of sexual assault of any kind.
It is time, however, that we had some other signs put up and very clear announcements for travelling to remind people to make their journey easier, safer and better for others. Much as staring can be unpleasant, it is not as dangerous as some of the common practices I observe daily.
Here is my list for London Underground to add to NO STARING:
Please uncross your legs when travelling. No one wants your footprint on their clothes when the train comes to an abrupt stop.
Please take your backpack off and place between your legs. We do not want an eye taken out as you swing around, especially during rush hour.
Please remove your bags from the seat next to you and allow others to sit down.
It never goes out of fashion to offer an elderly person a seat or a lady who is expecting. Do not just look at your Iphone or newspaper and pretend you have not seen them. BUT DO NOT STARE.
Refrain from bringing fast food or any eatables on the tube. This is not the Orient Express; there is no dining carriage and people travelling do not want to arrive at their destination smelling like a KFC, MacDonalds or a number 12 meal from Mr Wok.
Please use the escalators safely. DO NOT STOP AT THE TOP to look at your phone because you now have a good signal, or to rearrange your shopping bags, forcing the unfortunate person behind you to either jump past you or be pushed back. MOVE CLEAR.
If someone touches you in a sexual manner report immediately.
We are SO lucky to enjoy one of the best undergrounds that is legendary around the world. Please let’s love it and travel safely with a little consideration for others.
If Sadiq Khan does not hike the prices to that of the Orient Express, it is still an affordable way to travel. But remember, DO NOT STARE, even if that Colin Farrell lookalike wearing rugby shorts gets on.
Dying to be beautiful the downside and the ups of the Aesthetic – Cosmetic world.
Now trust me I am a big believer on looking after yourself. If you start to look a little withered and that moisturiser or body contouring cream is not helping turn the hands of time back the way you want them to.
Then by all means it might be time to pay a visit to a qualified doctor to have a sensible treatment that might just hold age back or make you look that little fresher.
It is not vain -if your house starts to crumble, or the walls look like they need a coat of paint. No one will lift and eyebrow as you call the decorators or builders
The incredible Pete Burns RIP
But tread carefully for every master of the craft of aesthetics or cosmetic surgery There is a con person or the unqualified want to be -waiting to take your money. Unfortunately, the aesthetics world is still unregulated.
Despite campaigners such as Antonia Mariconda who heads Safety in Beauty campaigning to outlaw those who have not trained in the craft or let standards slip in a business that after all comes under the medical umbrella. We live in world where we are drowning in information while starving for wisdom?
The saying goes that it takes seven years to train to be a doctor, and twenty seconds for a receptionist to think they are one I have observed this phenomenon myself standing in an aesthetic doctor’s reception room, listening to the doctor’s wife practically screaming at patient that “she did the consultations in the clinic” – and in fact, provided some of the treatments. Her medical qualifications? She was simply the doctor’s wife.
It is quite terrifying to realise the sheer number of people who now think they are medical experts, despite zero training. There is nothing wrong seeing what they call an advisor but let’s make it clear that’s not a doctor and all they should be sharing is their own experience the price and booking the appointment to see the doctor.
Under no circumstances should they be suggesting treatments A good clinic will offer a consultation with the doctor sometimes there is a charge often taken off the procedure you choose. The high end you simply pay for the doctor’s advice These rules out time wasters and after all a private gp costs for advice.
One Sunday after a wonderful afternoon celebrating the life of my dear friend actress Sally Farmiloe Neville who has passed on three years to the day. Sally was a woman who embraced all that you could when it came to beauty.
I came home to a shock there plastered over the papers and the internet was a picture of a man I knew well. “MIRCALE HAIR LOSS “cure. It went on to claim that a treatment that he had many months ago had given him a new head of hair. My issue was that six months ago he had been abroad to have a hair transplant and the picture was of the results of that.
We have spoken about the treatment he had at the clinic, and he thought though widely expensive he had little or no results maybe as he said little fuzz, he rang me when he was abroad having the hair transplant. I won’t go into why he agreed to do the article.
But it was very misleading, and lotion and potions and snake oils have no room in the aesthetic business and for sure it should be criminal to mislead the public like this particularly as the clinic new he had been abroad. Sliming treatments is a billion-pound business.
Apart from sensible exercise, and diet truly I am yet to see one that really does what it claims. Sure, many may give temporary feel of weight loss. Certainly, the technician who has measured will marvel after your first treatment that you are now so skinny they can hardly see you.
One woman who telling everyone a treatment had done what Liposuction could not or exercise looked fab in the magazine she appeared in. Just three weeks late however at an event the room was a buzz about how photo shopped the pictures were. One friend asked if she was pregnant.
Another who was selling courses of Fat Freeze was extremely overweight “I am allergic to the cold “she defensively pointed out and apparently the other treatments on offer too.
Sure, many people have thyroid issues and other conditions leading to weight gain, but they do not need aesthetics slimming they need a proper doctor dealing with those issues.
The truth is no slimming treatment will work long term unless you eat. healthily and exercise. Some are downright dangerous Linda Evangelista had a rection to one treatment that caused her to be physically deformed.
Many who have adventured abroad (cosmetic tourism) have lost their lives in the pursuit of beauty. Aesthetics and cosmetic surgery in the right hand is a beautiful science that can boast self-esteem correct many physical deformities and make you look your very best.
Providing that it does not become an addiction (that we have seen in so many cases amongst some celebrities in the news and glossy magazines) aesthetics can be a real plus. Good doctors I have to say keep an eye on client’s healthy aesthetics treatments turning into an addiction.
If you are considering aesthetics or a cosmetic treatment check 1 Check qualifications A useful way to narrow your search down is to compare the credentials of the surgeons you have found to the list below.
You should look for a surgeon who is:
• Working for the NHS
• Registered with the General Medical Council (GMC)
• Listed on the GMC’s the area of practice relevant to your procedure
• A member of the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons (BAPRAS)
• A member of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS)
• An expert in the part of the body you want operated on.
This is when the receptionist comes into play, she can help provide you with evidence or direct you how to find the proof. Get recommendations.
You may want to speak to friends and family members who have undergone the procedure in question or visit online forums to get their recommendations.
Other sources of valuable information include:
• Your GP
• The General Medical Council’s (GMC) specialist register
• British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons (BAPRAS)
• British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS)
• Royal College of Surgeons Go to see several doctors and do not rush into a treatment unless you are a hundred precent confident.
Even something that sounds as simple as Botox The wrong practitioner can cause damage lasting months. Do your homework And have a safe aesthetic cosmetic treatment.
Me at Freeze London where the cream of the Art world meet each year. https://www.frieze.com/fairs/frieze-london. Physical art at its finest.
Steven’s Smith looks at NFT
“Stop the world I need to get off!” I hear many of you say that in this bizarre and often crazy time.
You could be forgiven for wondering if the great God (if you believe in such an entity) would reach down and reply “Sure will you be paying for that in crypto, bitcoins or the old-fashioned pound?”
He may even offer you one of his NFT signed art posters that he promises, once you re-join Earth, will have quadrupled in value making you arrive back with a bang and most certainly a millionaire…well in crypto land for sure just as Alice drops through a hole in search of it.
Well, I found myself asking what NFT is last year. I am hearing it mentioned all around at events and parties. A friend visiting LA called me and said, “Darling you are no one if you’re not doing NFT or Crypto here”. Then came the sinking feeling a bit like when someone’s trying to sell me a multi-level marketing scheme. “People felt the same about stamps when they started”, she went onto to add.
Well fair point. Great grans used to keep their money under the mattress after not trusting banks during the great depression back in 1929. Let’s not talk about Lehman Brothers, back in 2008, filing for bankruptcy leaving people penniless, robbed of their life savings. NFT (Non-Fungible Token) is a record on a blockchain which is associated with a particular digital or physical asset.
Paris Hilton worked with the artist Blake Kathryn to create a digital tribute to her chihuahua Tinkerbell. Photograph: Paris Hilton/Blake Kathryn
The ownership of an NFT is recorded in the blockchain, and can be transferred by the owner, allowing NFTs to be sold and traded. What is NFT in relation to art? An NFT is a digital asset that exists completely in the digital universe: you can’t touch it, but you can own it. An NFT can be any type of digital file, an artwork, an article, music or even a meme such as “Disaster Girl”, the original photo of which sold for $500k earlier this year. But is it the emperor’s new clothes? For every artist who champions NFT art equally there are those that just won’t touch the new way of trading. Boy George has opened his own digital platform
Though George has not sold at the auction houses such as Sotheby’s or Christies, his work has sold at charity events for large sums and he certainly has a talent.
Tracey Emin has joined the NFT arts champion digital platform as have several well-known artists, but many are totally against NFT. With Artists against NFT recently penned in Business of Business, Zilch, an Atlanta based artist is quoted as saying, “Personally, I’m against NFTs.
However we do have to acknowledge that it as a system does exist, and that system still requires regulation and is not a free-4-all, unmoderated system where all hell breaks loose. Systems get made, systems get abused then they get regulated.”
London has seen its first NFT Gallery opening early this year, the Quantus Gallery, and the star-studded opening saw the likes of Ant Middleton, model make-up artist Jodie Kidd and dashing Callum Best all mix with socialites, city boys and what looked like would-be Kray brothers. It was certainly an eclectic group and an exciting night, so, there is certainly great excitement around the concept.
Art is objective and we must remember where the words con artist came from. Get a brilliant salesman and he can sell snow to the Eskimo’s. It is the same with a painting; remember ART the award-winning play? Serge, indulging his penchant for modern art, buys a large, expensive, completely white painting.
Marc is horrified, and their relationship suffers considerable strain because of their differing opinions about what constitutes “art”. Yvan, caught in the middle of the conflict, tries to please, and mollify both. Art is what you decide it is.
Every wise boy seems to be dipping into crypto. I am absolutely 100 percent convinced that, just like in multi-level marketing, there will be those that make a mint out of it and equally there will be those that end up burnt. There was a time when my inbox was full of get rich crypto or bitcoin invitations.
I considered joining one as the cream of business were involved. However, sitting in on the meeting it became clear people were investing in something that was not there. “We are looking for the likes of Adelle, Tom Cruise joining this”.
Apparently people will pay to sit in front of a computer with NFT sunglasses on, paying thousands for the pleasure. I guess people have spent fortunes on dressing characters up on virtual games for years. Certainly, it helped the Kardashian portfolio.
But on asking what these A listers agents felt about this, their answers were vague. It was clear it was a wish list. Following my instinct, it was “No from me.” Checking a year on despite the credentials of its founders it is no further along.
Certainly, there is a strong element of the hard sell when it comes to the NFT from those that champion it. For me, I would still go with my financial advisors and stay away from something that has element of gambling attached to it, particularly if you have an addictive personality and really can´t afford to lose.
Most serious investors in high end art use highly qualified ART advisors for advice and buy at reputable auction houses or gallery’s that mentor their artist. They ask if resold to get first refusal. NFT Art is certainly something worth keeping an eye on and if you have money to spare then, as they say, fill your boots.
But in a volatile market with bitcoins and crypto up and down, for me it is not something that would make me sleep well at night. I asked a woman who is very busy promoting NFT (and doing an amazing job) how she was paid.
As she knocked back a glass of champagne, she replied “God, money darling!” That said it all to me.
In the 70s and 80s dinner parties were a regular thing. With shows like “Come dine with me” and the rise in costs of eating out, dinner parties are making a huge come back.
Though some still entertain at venues outside the home such as restaurants, there is nothing more intimate and fun than having a group of friends or interesting people at your home for a private dinner party.
But as much as a good host can make it a terrific night to remember, the wrong recipe for an evening can make for a bad dinner party that can have your guests talking for weeks to come for the wrong reasons.
When you are holding a dinner party for those who are wine connoisseurs or food gourmets, the dinner conversation will be primarily about both food and drink.
Believe it or not the best dinner parties do not always revolve around either. Although putting on a nice show that does not have you locked in the kitchen away from your guests is indeed a good idea.
In fact, at one of the most amusing dinner parties I attended, the hostess (who was not known for her cooking and often took people out for dinner) called me a week before to invite me over to see her new kitchen and dine.
The day after she phoned, “Darling, would you do your marvellous chicken fajitas on Friday?” I asked if she was doing potluck (when everyone brings a course) as fajitas do not travel too well.
There was a silence and then she continued, “Oh I thought you could cook?” I responded with, “No, it is your turn” and I hung up! Arriving at her stunning Hampstead home on the Friday to see the table beautifully set and the new oven lit, I was suitably impressed.
The hostess had that ‘pleased with herself’ look written all over her face as in fairness, this was not her forte. Wine flowed and nibbles were served but one and half hours later no food had been served.
Looking at the oven the chicken was still as raw as it was on a Waitrose shelf. “My love, is the oven actually working?” I gently enquired. Another hour and we were no further along. The hostess declared that the new oven was faulty and called for Chinese.
We laughed and put the world to rights until two thirty in the morning and it was just an amazing night. Topped off by the call on the Tuesday that when the repair man arrived the diagnosis was, she had simply not turned the oven on!
I could not help but ask when she was auditioning for “Come Dine with me”. She had so many strengths but cooking was not one so how was she was going to compete? “Darling, you’re coming over and doing it for me.”
However, for the run of the mill dinner party, if you are not having food delivered, do not cook something that keeps you in the kitchen half the night or that is not tried and tested.
Your guests have come to see you socially, not see you stressing in the kitchen. It is a good idea to pre-cook as much as you can beforehand.
Always check what your guests eat. At one dinner I went to they served an enormous piece of goat’s cheese to start with; I would honestly suck someone’s feet rather that eat that.
I did the trick of eating and not chewing rinsing it down with water. Every time I looked back at the plate it seemed no smaller. Eventually the host noticed and I had to admit I could eat no more.
They looked less than impressed. It is a good idea to have some eggs or a vegan option on standby just in case a guest has not been forthcoming with their dietary needs.
What really brings a dinner party together is the company. Years ago, a socialite who was an expert at entertaining shared some tips. Never bring the same type of people together.
Lady X would be much more interested in sitting next to an up and coming artist than another socialite. Invite those that sing for their supper as they are interesting, amusing, can tell a good story or know about the latest in style, books or theatre.
Bringing five actors together unless they are in the same production could spell disaster as they try and outdo each other.
Being a good host is more than just checking everyone is eating and topping the wine up. It is making sure all your guests are enjoying themselves and get to speak.
We have all been there when that narcissist is dominating the conversation: even when they stop, they manage to jump straight back in to make the evening about them.
As a host it is your job to intercept, giving others who are not so forward a chance to speak by asking questions about books, films, theatre productions or art, anything that might interest them. As a good host, pushing the evening to be controversial is a bad idea.
Sure, a great debate with people you are sure about can make for an interesting evening, but do not go out of your way to do this as it could potentially end your night on a sour note. Other topics to stay clear of are age, weight, salaries and politics.
One evening at a dinner I was hosting one guest said to another, “You know when we get to our age it all needs a little lift, but I love my forties”. The guest was livid, “I am 32!” she cried, getting up and excusing herself.
Let the conversation flow and, unless you’re lucky enough to have a great orator for the night such as Stephen Fry, make sure everyone gets to talk. Please do not be that Machiavellian host who starts the night off with, “So who voted for Brexit?!”
A bad dinner party, and one I will remember for a very long time, had all those wrong ingredients. We went out to eat so the food was good for some of us. There were quite a few of us dining that evening.
It started off badly; prior to our arrival someone I love reprimanded one of the other guests joining us for running late. This caused me great amusement as “Pot, Kettle, Black,” jumped to mind.
They were the last person who should be reprimanding anyone for being late as they had never been on time ever in all the years I’d known them. Me pointing this fact out caused offence and they were still seething as we arrived at the dinner.
The host Mark, though lovely and amusing, wanted to talk about one topic: a certain lady whom we will refer to as ‘Alice’. He and Alice were once close, but no more, and that obviously made her a target.
Now I love a gossip and to hear who is doing what to whom and all the news. It can make for an amusing part of the evening. Everyone says, “Steven knows all the gossip”, but those that know me will tell you I never name names and I mostly just tell amusing stories. I am educated enough to entertain without using gossip.
For those that knew ‘Alice’, this monologue of indiscretions and faults seemed to be keeping them entertained. All that was missing was ‘Alice´s’ corpse as she was being verbally hacked to death.
An hour later our host was still talking about himself and ‘Alice’, only interrupted by “let’s get another round in” and the slight amusement as a guest starter was sent back for the third time.
Our host was blissfully unaware that some of the guests were looking at their phones and one gestured “Come sit with me!” My suggestion, that now we had ascertained ‘Alice’ was a c— , perhaps we should not give over our time to her, was met with a harsh “Mark is talking sssh!” I would have walked out at that point but I was staying with one of the guests.
Just as I thought the evening could not get worse, a very late guest arrived who I will nickname the cuckoo as she had replaced Alice in Mark´s affection.
For a brief time she talked about one of my other least favourite subjects: Diet. Then talk moved straight back to ‘Alice’ in which the cuckoo revelled.
All that toxic energy being thrown around was making for a very unpleasant dinner experience. Our host was a very smart man but certainly no Oscar Wilde or comedian, and was only aware of his own voice.
Luckily, I was smoking so there were some breaks. I got a text from a guest which simply said “help!” as they were so bored. It is so important that everyone gets a chance to talk, and you ask other questions, so they are included, but there was no chance of that happening at that particular dinner.
This is my last tip when entertaining: much as we are all adults, if you are hosting drinkers, arrange for them to stay over somewhere if they are driving, or book a cab: there are even companies that send someone on a bike to drive your car home.
As you pour that last tequila shot you do not want to hear that one of your guests was in an accident on the way home. Happy dining!
Gay film director Rob Falconer answers ten questions with Steven Smith
With the LGBTQIA+ award season in full swing, the obvious candidates are always front runners.
Particularly in this day and age with social content and media hype playing an important part.
On location in Amsterdam for Rob’s new film Bob: Man of the Angels with two of its stars Dan Glass and Dan de la Motte
Awards are often financially driven as winning is going to put bums on seats and entice the lucrative sponsors.
It would be good to see some of LGBTQIA’s unsung heroes, who often fly under the radar and are perhaps more deserving of an award, get some attention.
One such deserving contender is gay film director Rob Falconer. His film “Gay Man’s Guide To Safer Sex ‘97 Directors Cut” sold out at the Barbican in April.
Rob used cinema in a new way to bring education about gay sex and how to keep it safe.
Steven Smith asks him ten questions:
Rob, how did you get into film making?
I was originally an actor and singer (bands, not musicals). I arrived in London at 18 to train as an actor at Guildhall School of Music & Drama, literally across the street from the Barbican where we screened the 2024 version of Gay Man’s Guide.
The focus was all on serious theatre and the RSC (next door). I’m not sure if they realised they’d actually end up training a sex film director. My guns were trained only on screen acting though.
When you came out was it easy for you?
Possibly not for my girlfriends when I was very young! That typically strangled, horrendously painful adolescence for closeted gay teens – a golden time for natural development and exploration you also never get back.
As I say, I arrived in London at 18, still pretty closeted. It was right in the firestorm of the AIDS pandemic and terrifying, but that was that. Instantly I was “hello, boys!” and out. Dates me but that was when button fly 501 jeans were the new thing (and Y2Ks are all wearing them again now!).
My button fly didn’t ever stay buttoned up much after that (as anyone who knows me would probably be only too quick to point out).
Do you feel young gay men are still aware of HIV and safe sex?
The stats do go up and down. By 2013 or so there was a worrying spike with under 25s amongst the highest numbers of people acquiring HIV.
Thankfully that settled back, though a little bit of a rise again recently we’re hearing. A lot of young gay guys are savvy and sassy, well able to make their own minds up. The metrosexual boys in between, hmm, I’m not quite so sure.
And if you need to talk there’s an amazing network right out there waiting, the THT Direct helpline, Switchboard, Love Tank and PrEPSTER, LGBTHERO, the super-approachable teams at clinics like Mortimer Market Centre and 56 Dean Street.
Are apps ruining LGBTQIA+ dating?
Probably, but not completely, I’d say. This is just who we are, where we are right now, nothing to feel shame about. It’ll change again to something else.
But for sure, hook-up apps can make it very uncomfortable indeed if you don’t feel you maybe conform to people’s expected body or gender identity types. And yes, there’s always the potential to find yourself in situations that can become very risky.
That’s the reason you need to get informed, today, just like when we made the Gay Man’s Guide films. Get accurate, unjudgmental information, from people who fuck just like you do, think about what you’re doing and then you have to make you own choices.
Sexual health information services today have made targeted, relevant messaging more easily available than ever before, and they’re making sure everyone in our community feels seen and appropriately addressed.
We’re incredibly fortunate in the UK to have that, though government still urgently needs to really back-up PrEP way more strongly.
What was the first film you ever watched on the big screen?
Sean Connery as Bond in “Diamonds Are Forever”. It changed the course of my life forever…”Plenty O’Toole? Named after your father perhaps?”.
Seriously, that man had a riveting screen presence and talent no one’s ever had in quite the same way since. Cat-like grace too, for such a big guy. Cinema had me at hello and I wanted in.
Bond of course didn’t do boys – though Daniel Craig’s devastatingly good reinvention of 007 kind of prick-teased that he might have done in Skyfall.
Gay Man’s Guide to Safer Sex Directors Cut has a feel of Madonna’s Sex video in places. Who do you take your inspiration from?
Steven, probably only you could come up with that one, and we’re all taking that as the biggest compliment to Gay Man’s Guide! The Lady and Legend herself is always a massive inspiration.
She just takes absolutely no shit from anyone. Ever. I’d like to say that in some of the music I’ve made too, but never shifted in those quantities…
But any artists who, for all sorts of reasons – too often money, had to get very inventive and extremely persuasive, Derek Jarman always (whose collaborators like producer James Mackay and director David Lewis were on the first 1992 GMG film of course), French-Canadian movie star Lothaire Bluteau (unforgettable in the movie of Bent), the living legend that is Holly Johnson, James Ivory (the loveliest man and incredible director), Barbara Broccoli (“a man’s world”? Yeah. Whatever.), and the one-off human rights dynamo that is Peter Tatchell – working with Peter boots your perspective on the world into realities really quickly.
What is your suggestion to people going into film making?
Er…strap yourself in. Except for the only 10-15 per cent of artists and technical craftspeople who ever really make it, (I’m not one) this is not going to be an easy path for you.
But you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you? Art’s a collaborative process but it’s still your voice. Don’t let other people use it for you.
There is still a struggle for many young men to find positive role models. Do you feel someone like Aiden Shaw (aka Aiden Brady) is a good figurehead for the community?
Hell, yeah! You brought up Madonna and she’s definitely a fan of Aiden’s! He’s worked with her. Aiden off screen probably isn’t who many expect him to be.
Even a little shy I’d say, and doesn’t set out to be anybody’s figurehead. But he is, and what a man! An almost annoyingly multi-talented artist, drop-down beautiful too. It’s his total, unflinching honesty that really tells.
We’ll never get anywhere as LGBTQIA+ people if we don’t put the truth right out there to the rest of the world and say, “Just deal with it. Deal with who we really are.” I shot several gay sex scenes in the buff myself as an actor – I’d never ask anyone to do what I wouldn’t myself.
When you are not filming what do you do for fun?
I still occasionally get to ride horses, one of the other loves of my life, (along with boys). My niece’s latest acquisition is a huge Irish thoroughbred event horse named after Parker in Thunderbirds.
I genuinely need a ladder though. He’s very gentle and tolerant with me. I’d love to roll out the stock one of ‘cooking’ but my boyfriend would shut that right down and just cry laughing. I have no talent in the kitchen. None. He might also say, “Don’t date sex film directors.”
What is the one thing you would change about London if you were mayor for the day?
Give us an extremely visible LGBTQIA+ landmark like Amsterdam’s Homonument. We are (at last) getting the official London AIDS memorial though, but only thanks to the incredible work of Ash Kotak and the AIDS Memory UK Team.
Quick round:
Chinese or Japanese?
Vietnamese
Pjs or nude?
What do you think, reading this? Nothing at all!
Ibiza or Paris?
Ibiza, I like heat (but also French boys very much indeed).
The one thing that would put you off someone?
Cruelty to any animal (including us).
Call THT Direct on 0808 802 1221 for support, advice and information on HIV or email us at info@tht.org.uk
2Shades Magazine 