Introverts being called shy, under confident and awkward is the biggest understatement of the century.
As an introvert and occasionally an ambivert, I view this differently from what introversion is perceived as in modern times.
I had a hard time connecting with people for a majority of my life. It felt like I had to be different versions of myself to feel accepted in social circles. The personality of an introvert can often be misconstrued as “lost in their own little world.”
Which might be true to a certain extent but there’s a lot of good that comes from that. It’s important to acknowledge that people have their own way of dealing with the kind of world we live in and that there’s different types of introverts.
However, the proof is in the pudding if we bother to grab a spoon. Some of the most revolutionary people like Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Rosa Parks or even in recent times, actresses Meryl Streep and Glenn Close are known to be introverts who’ve made an extraordinary impact.
The term introversion was coined by Carl Jung, who stated that introversion is an attitude towards life where one prefers their own inner world as opposed to an extrovert who thrives on external connections. Introverts have a natural ability to divulge in the concept of “The Self“. Which is the foundation of most religious/spiritual beliefs when it comes to taking the journey of the soul.
I personally resonate with both attitudes when it comes to personalities, but I admire the soft nature of an introvert who finds solace in knowing their core selves.
It’s tough being an introvert because as a species, we need human connection. I felt lost in a fast-paced generation where I had to keep up with social media trends, pressurised myself to be entertaining to those I meet and have long conversations with them.
I do enjoy company, I’m not particularly shy but there was a point in my life where I realised that by masking my introverted nature, I was going in the opposite direction of who I really am.
My fear heightened most at parties, I’d mentally prepare myself with a set of questions that are “socially acceptable.” When I ran out of things to say, I could almost see the grimace on their faces. They would casually say, “I’m going to get another drink, I’ll see you later?”
The entire night after that, I would be so caught up in the things I’ve said and how I should’ve said it. What should’ve been a fun party turned into an absolute nightmare.
It’s easy to say, “Don’t take yourself so seriously, just have fun.” when socialising at a party isn’t necessarily my idea of fun. I still have to do it, to feel normal in a world that just seems to get it? I didn’t ask to be this way, it’s just how my mind works.
How are they doing it, I used to wonder. How do they construct sentences that make another person smile or laugh? How did they manage to establish a friendship or a relationship with just one conversation? How are they exchanging energies so seamlessly?
Energy…that’s what it was. It hit me like a truck when I realised I’ve tampered with the gentle energy within me inauthentically, only to feel accepted externally. I was draining myself.
A beautiful realisation kicked in when I took the journey of isolation and transformation to discover who I really am.
The realisation was that after therapy, spiritual healing and connecting with nature, I had to learn to accept all sides of me first. The more I learned to love myself, the more I understood that it’s never about how others perceive me. It’s about how I perceive myself.
I celebrate my introverted side as a part of me that provids a lot of safety. I’m aware that it’s not the same for all introverts but this is my 2Shades perspective on how I see the beauty of gaining wisdom, clarity and liberation from my inner world.
What it did for me is that the unconditional loving energy I was developing within me, allowed me to face the outside world with courage. I no longer judged myself for the “wrong” things I’ve said or done, because I possess a safe place within me to come home to, have a laugh, let go and move on.
Being an introvert doesn’t always mean living in fear and having lack of presence in the world. There’s an abundance of creativity and knowledge within our soul that introverts just care to explore more of. Translating that may not be easy, but there’s different means of communication and assertiveness that just takes an empathic set of eyes to see/feel.
Eventually, I put a price on my energy because of my investment towards it and learned how to be social when I needed to be and in solitude, I recharge myself. The best part is the communication I have with myself to respect my own boundaries while simultaneously communicating that to loved ones so they’re aware of my mannerisms.
So I could be called an “ambivert” now if I have to label it, but all I’m really doing is living harmoniously in my inner world and choosing the kind of outer world I want to engage in.
2Shades Magazine 