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HAPPY PRIDE

Picture Graham Martin https://www.grahammartinphotography.co.uk

Steven’s Viewz for June

“Pride” means self-esteem, self-respect, and the joy that comes from being who you are. It’s a celebration of identity and community—and it’s also a protest, because the fight for equality is far from over.

How far we’ve come. In the 1970s, the only LGBTQ+ publication I knew of was Gay News—a paper I used to smuggle into my family home as a teenager. Mainstream magazines rarely showed gay people in a positive light, and doing so could sink a publication. In the entertainment industry, being openly gay could mean career suicide. Even being suspected of homosexuality could get you thrown out of the armed forces.

GAY NEWS IN THE 70S

I came out at 15, creating scandal at school and chaos at home. When my mum discovered my hidden copy of Gay News, she screamed, “There’s no such thing as ‘Gay News’, only bad news.” While she’s now a proud LGBTQ+ ally, back then it was a different story. Only my 13-year-old sister offered comfort—squeezing my hand and saying, “I always knew. I love you.”

My coming out story in “it shouldn’t happen to a hairdresser ” https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shouldnt-Happen-Hairdresser-Steven-Smith/dp/B09K26J4BN/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.mCYudsmV4vG2XzjxyILAAscQq8prYKvjRYbsFmH-wghbYMPnf5VrK1Zb-lfB7i_j.h4CFp6VG-vzMnfjrCOF2zP63fpHQJ5HglXF3BIwXZJ0&qid=1749533962&sr=8-4

My parents, desperate to “understand,” took me to the Samaritans, where I was introduced to a man who had been in the merchant navy who “knew about gays.” I remember his pale-blue jumper and the awkwardness in his voice. He warned me that not all gay men looked like David Bowie or Marc Bolan—who, I pointed out, were bisexual. He added, “If you go to Portsmouth, there are big, hairy men on bikes looking for young lads.”


Once back in the car, I asked, “Where’s Portsmouth—and how do I get there?”

Coming out still shocks some families. I’ve seen parents devastated by something they must have known deep down. In It’s A Sin, Keeley Hawes’ character, Valerie Tozer, denies her son’s truth even as he dies of AIDS. Another mother asks her pointedly: “What were you looking at when he was six? Ten? Fifteen?”

Today, LGBTQ+ teens are still being thrown out of their homes. Others are allowed to stay—but endure silence, shame, or abuse. All for the “crime” of loving someone, or being themselves.

Meanwhile, the same parents hand their kids toy guns and cheer them on during war games—yet recoil at a same-sex kiss. The hypocrisy is astonishing.

I cried watching Heartstopper on Netflix. When Nick comes out to his mum, played with grace by Olivia Colman, she simply thanks him and checks he’s okay. That’s the world we need. Fewer traumas. More love.

Yes, things are better. But the LGBTQ+ community is still under attack. Survival requires strategy—and education is key. We need LGBTQ+ role models in schools. We need to support young people who don’t fit gender norms. We need to tell our stories and make space for others to tell theirs.

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81059939?source=35&fromWatch=true

I recently had a woman say to me, “You don’t seem that gay. My hairdresser Eduardo is gay—he’s a scream! He does drag on Tuesdays.” I replied, “The Kray twins were gay.” She went quiet, then apologised. I wasn’t offended—but I had made her think.

Positive role models matter. Jake Daniels, the first openly gay footballer, recently made headlines. So have Gareth Thomas and Tom Daley. But the fact that coming out still makes headlines shows how far we’ve yet to go.

Jake Daniels super star ,

It was heartening to see David Beckham support Jake Daniels—but disappointing to see him promote the World Cup in Qatar, where homosexuality is punishable by death. Allies must not sit on the fence when human rights are at stake.

Let’s not forget: the gay community isn’t immune to internal bias. Flamboyant men are often sidelined. Some fear being labelled “camp” or “too much.” But icons like Quentin Crisp, Boy George, David Bowie, and Marc Bolan showed us that difference is not a weakness—it’s a strength.

Boy George daring to be different with Pride.

If an alien asked to meet a “typical gay person,” we couldn’t comply. There’s no such thing. Just like there’s no one image of a straight man—despite the stereotype of a pint-wielding football fan in a Union Jack tee.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt36961315/mediaviewer/rm721848066/

People ask me, “Why do you need Pride? There’s no Straight Pride.” My answer: “Be grateful you don’t need one.”

There are also calls to give Pride Month over to Veterans’ Day. I believe veterans deserve honour every day—but not at the expense of Pride or any other group or organisation One doesn’t cancel the other.

We’re living in frightening times. In countries like Argentina and the U.S., governments are trading human rights for promises of prosperity. In the UK, I fear the rise of Reform UK. We must not just defend our rights—we must be louder, prouder, and more visible than ever.

Peter Tatchell we all have to admire ,

At the premiere of Legendary Children: All of Them Queer, activist Peter Tatchell said that change comes from entering non-LGBTQ+ spaces and being a shining example. I believe that. I hope one day I can hold my boyfriend’s hand in public without fear. I hope one day, every child who comes out is embraced by their parents, not shunned.

We’ve made progress. But we’re not there yet.

And if we don’t act now, we risk going back to the bad old days.

legendary children all of them queer https://www.imdb.com/title/tt36961315/mediaviewer/rm721848066/

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Pride

“Pride” means the quality or state of being proud, including self-esteem and a reasonable or justifiable self-respect.
It also denotes, “Delight or elation arising from some act or possession or relationship.” 
@adishrichengappa @stevenswords63 in Born Anxious PROUD T-shirts picture Anna Marie Bickton https://www.annemariebickerton.co.uk

It has been Brighton Pride this weekend sadly I could not be there but it is just amazing to even see online!

I could not be prouder of how 2Shades is appealing to all of the community and our ally’s Pride is something we all take seriously it is who we are at the core of the magazine.

Brighton Pride picture by Simon Dack

Such changed days, indeed, from the 1970s, when the only form of LGBTQ publication around was “Gay News”, which I use to smuggle into the family home as a teenage boy. Back then, for mainstream magazines or newspapers to feature gay people in a positive light could be the kiss of death for the publication. It was a time when openly gay actors could be blacklisted with in the industry. Even being suspected of being gay could see you thrown out of the armed forces.

I remember my mother, on discovering the hidden paper, standing and screaming, “There is no such thing as ‘Gay News’, just bad news.” At the age of 15, I was out, causing more than a little scandal at my school, and despair and outrage at home. Much as my mother is now a big advocate of LGBTQ, it caused considerable upset in the 1970s. Only my sister, who was 13 at the time, had a kind word. She had been told there had been a great family upset. Karen squeezed my hand and told me she always knew I was gay, and she loved me.

PRIDE Picture Graham Martin https://www.grahammartinphotography.co.uk T shirt

My parents’ answer was to take me to see the Samaritans, to meet a man who had been in the merchant navy and therefore “knew about gays”. I can still see him sitting there in his light-blue pullover, looking somewhat uncomfortable. His advice was that gay men did not all look like David Bowie or Marc Bolan. I pointed out that both were, in fact, bisexual. He continued, “If you go to Portsmouth, there are big, hairy men on bikes looking for and preying on young men.” 

Once safely back in the car with my parents, I raised the question: “Where is Portsmouth and how do I get there?” 

Sadly, it always seems to be a shock when someone comes out to the family. There are more negative stories than positive ones. Even a model friend of mine, whose son was never out of her high heels and frocks, seemed devastated when he broke the news. It raised the question, “What was she seeing all those years as he grew up?” 

This is a question also asked in the brilliant drama series, “It’s A Sin”. Valerie Tozer, masterfully played by Keely Hawes, is a mother in denial as her son lies dying of Aids. She blames everyone she can find except herself. Sandra (played by Ruth Sheen), whose son also lies ill, asks just that question: “What were you looking at when he was six? Ten? Fifteen?”

It is Sin https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9140342/

Even still today, kids are thrown out of their homes for being LGBTQ, and even for many that are allowed to stay, their lives can be made miserable. Their only crime is being a human being who loves someone or is attracted to the same sex. These are the same kids whose parents happily hand toy guns to them and let them play war games. But – what horror in a kiss with someone of the same sex!

I cried when watching the superbly crafted “Heartstoppers” on Netflix. The character Nick tells his mother he likes boys and girls. Played beautifully by Olivia Colman, the mother calmly thanks him for sharing that with her and hopes he is okay. If only more parents acted that way, there would be so much less trauma within the LGBTQ+ community, and our mental health would be stronger.

Things might be getting better, but the LGBTQ+ community is still under attack every day. As with all wars, a good strategy is a key factor in survival. Education in schools is essential – using positive role models, and making kids feel safe who do not fit the masculine or feminine stereotypes. This is still going to take time, understanding, and some amazing people to give a strong voice.

Education is the key to most things, and this includes brilliant diversity role models going into schools and talking about their lives. It is important, in everyday life, that we are up to educating our children and spotting the difference between homophobia and mere ignorance in this woke society, where everyone seems easily offended. A woman said to me quite recently, when I was clearly channelling a butch moment, “You don’t seem that gay. My hairdresser Eduardo is gay. He’s a scream. He does drag on a Tuesday.”

Looking at her carefully, I pointed out that the Krays were gay, adding one or two other examples. She went deadly quiet, and after a moment, she apologised. She hoped I was not offended. Of course, I wasn’t, but I had made someone think. 

Thankfully, we now have positive role models that people can identify with. Jake Daniels, the first openly gay footballer, made headlines last month, and we also have Gareth Thomas, the rugby player, and Tom Daley, Olympic gold medallist. The sad thing is, while there are many gay footballers, fear of losing endorsements or their peers’ reactions keeps them in the closet. It is tragic that this still makes headline news. It shows that society still does not really except such men. 

Jake Daniels footballer

It is wonderful to see David Beckham come out and back Jake, but disappointing that he also backs the World Cup in Qatar, a country that still has the death penalty for gay people. We need our allies not to sit on the fence when it comes to human rights.

The gay community can be a homophobic place too. Often, the more flamboyant characters are not seen as the heroes. Gay men themselves sometimes fear being labelled camp or effeminate.

. But our tireless fights are not just for gay rights, but human rights. Quintin Crisp may have had some lapses in judgment, but he was a voice in the dark for people like me, Boy George and our generation. Bowie and Marc Bolan also showed us it was okay to be different.

Boy George a light for many

The truth is, if an alien landed and asked us to show them what a typical gay person looked like, it would be impossible. It would be like being asked to find a quintessential heterosexual – then going to Chelsea football ground in the company of an overweight man, with a pint and a Union Jack t-shirt, smoking a fag, and shouting, “This is what a straight man looks like.” There would be an outcry, and trust me, there are many gay men that look like that too. 

I have often been asked “Why do you need ‘Pride’. There’s no straight Pride.” My answer is always, “Thank your lucky stars you don’t need straight Pride.” We have to be a voice and be seen, in order to hope that one day, no-one will blink an eye if I hold my boyfriend’s hand in public. We must also hope that one day, that teenage boy’s or girl’s mum and dad will hug them when they come out, and the world will be a safe place for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s getting better, but we still have a long way to go. 

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https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81059939