Happy Christmas, and it is cheer and happiness for most but not for all. The festive season can raise the grinch and other family nightmares.
But do not fear! Good fairy agony aunt Heidi Gammon is waving her wand and will try to make it all better with her magical advice.
https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us
Hi Heidi,
Happy Holidays. Can you help me? I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year now and we are in love. However, I have not introduced him to my family yet. One, he is very domineering (I like that) and never holds back on his opinions. Two, he is covered in tattoos, hates dressing up and he is a drummer in rock band part time. My mum is super conservative and just about down with me being gay. She actually says that no one with tattoos are welcome in her home. Mum rang the house, and he picked up and she invited him for Christmas!
HELP please!!
Mike, Kingston.
Oh bless Mike, talk about being put between a rock and hard place. First of all, you should have dealt with this months ago if you care for boyfriend and mum. You say mum is just about ok with you being gay. Well, it sounds to me like she is making the right moves inviting your partner for Christmas.
If your partner loves you, it is time to sit down and tell him the issues about your mum. You say you like the fact he is dominant and opinionated. There is a difference between that and a narcissist. You let him be himself 364 days a year, but maybe he could think about you for one day, not be a different person but just tone it down a little. If he really cares about you and is not a narcissist he will understand. Until mum gets to know him, box clever and make this day about realising that you need some TLC in this area. Trust me, if he really cares he will work with you. If he can’t, I’ll tell you something he is not dominant, he is just not caring.
Next time you chat to mum, maybe give her a little pre-warning he might not be joining the conservative club any day soon. Just do some groundwork preparation before the big day. Remember: life is short and you need to be happy. Mike, those that say they love you should want the best for you, sometimes that means compromise.
Happy Christmas my love, write and let me know how It goes.
Dear Heidi,
I like to party, but it is high days and low with me. Sheryl my fiancé loves it 24/7 but I am fine with that as she can go out with her gang, and I am not jealous or worried. We are having friends over for Christmas Day and we were going over the menu when she announced, “I’ll get a few grams in for after”. Honestly, I have had enough. The only White Christmas I want is on the ground. What do I say?
Lisa, Chiswick.
Oh no Lisa, oh I have seen this so many times. The marching powder is no-one’s friend. Yes, there seems to be a honeymoon period for many who think it makes them invisible but like any false high, in the end there is always a price to pay. It destroys jobs, relationships and friendships, not mention it robs your bank account. Once it gets its claws into you, for many there is no escape. Yes, there are those who partake on high and low days, who seem in control like yourself. But Sheryl sounds like she might be heading for a fall. You need to simply say no! That’s not the Christmas you want. Make your views clear and it might give her a shock, or maybe she’s already hooked and this is the bit she is looking forward to on Christmas day. Then she may need help, but time to realise it’s a slippery slope, and you being an enabler won’t end well .
Hello Heidi,
How are you, love the column. Now there is no excuse, but I kissed my best friend’s husband on a drunken outing when my bestie was away. It has been over six months I have not seen him or mentioned it to my friend. We are all spending Christmas together this year. I have not seen my friend’s husband since. It is going to be super awkward. What should I do? Maybe call him and chat about what happened?
Dylan, Brighton.
Sweetie, if it was just a kiss get over it. People are human and drink is horrible when it comes to making a fool of ourselves. Unless you’re not telling Heidi the whole story, move on and put it behind you. Or if the kiss meant more to you than you’re saying, maybe have word with yourself. He has not been in contact with you since the drunken kiss so perhaps he does not remember it. Take Heidi’s advice: do not do party postmortems and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. Enjoy your Christmas xxx
Happy Holidays, Heidi
Dear Heidi,
My partner Alisha is just gorgeous and we’ve been together for six months. She came out as lesbian late in life, having been married for twenty years. She has two teenage kids and they are coming for Christmas. Heidi I am terrified. I do not do kids and how do I act? They are very important to Alisha.
Love Diana.
Hi Diana, it is not a couple of hyenas coming for Christmas, it is two teenagers (perhaps more terrifying at times). No Diana, can I tell you how to handle it? Be yourself, treat them with respect and take an interest in them, listen and you will be surprised. Please have some basic structure of your expectations to staying in your home as you would with anyone coming to stay. But do not come over like a prison guard. Just try and have fun; they will be as worried as you!
Love, Heidi
Heidi will be back in the New Year . You can also hear her on Gateway Radio https://www.gateway978.com/blogs/daytime/josie-gibson-reveals-the-most-mind-numbing-things-in-life Tuesday the 26th of November https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UT6NDE0INI&t=4s and on Youtube.
You can find her on: https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us
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