Tag: LGBTQIA

A look at Addiction

Steven Smith looks at the affect addiction has on us all, how it can be so prolific among the LGBTQ community, the often-misguided views people have about those living with addiction, and of course shares his own tale.

November 26th, 2010, the phone rang with news I had been expecting—my lifelong friend Lester Middlehurst, the witty, Machiavellian, and brilliant journalist was dead at 55. He had been in coma for days after a suspected suicide attempt.

I know how I was supposed to feel to the world. But putting down the phone, there was complete numbness followed by anger, and then an overwhelming relief that the man who had formerly been my friend, but had in later years become my tormenter was no longer. No more waking to drunken abusive messages, or being the brunt of his jokes or outburst at parties, and I’d no longer have to apologise to other people for his behaviour towards them.

Lester in his prime

Lester Middlehurst was one of the first openly gay staff members at The Daily Mail. He was legendary. At the coroner’s inquest it turned out he had not killed himself, rather his death certificate said that he died of a hypoxic brain damage attack. Everyone agreed it was his addictive lifestyle that killed him.

Sadness

Lester was one the most addicted people that I have ever met, and he was my friend and I loved him. A month later I must have spent a day crying over him. The sadness was really that he never got help for his addiction, and you could say that my lack of knowledge of it prevented me from helping him…but that would be romanticising a terrible situation.

Back in 2009 I got him to agree to attend the Meadows Clinic in Arizona, but the next day he told me not to be so stupid. In truth, I did not feel strong enough to stand up to him. As my knowledge about addiction has grown, I have become more aware that there was nothing I could have done unless Lester had wanted to do anything about it.

According to the Centre of Addiction, members of the LGBTQ community are at greater risk of substance use and mental health issues compared to those identifying as heterosexual.

Members of the LGBTQ community face chronically high levels of stress, often due to having to suffer from social prejudice and discrimination. Fear, isolation, and depression increase the chances of self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. As a man that has lived a life in big cities, I have witnessed addiction in all classes and types of people. Addiction is a mistress that does not care who she dances with, yet the LGBTQ community are often her favourite partners.

As the self-confessed addict, actor Russell Brand explains that the distinction of any compulsive or addictive behaviour is when it begins to negatively impact on the rest of your life.

Compulsive

So, you might love chocolate so much that you’ll ignore all logical reasoning, “I have to have chocolate…I have to have chocolate…I don’t care what else happens”. If you’re crashing your car because of chocolate, that’s a problem.

According to Wikipedia, addiction is a brain disorder characterised by compulsive engagement in a rewarding stimulation despite adverse consequences.

Of course, addiction is certainly an illness and not a lifestyle choice, and if we are honest, addiction is in all of us in some way or another.

For me, I just can’t not buy a large French baguette, cut a few slices off, and put it back for later. I end up devouring the whole thing. Subsequently, I do not buy French baguettes unless I am feeling poorly. Whether it’s chocolate, coffee, or your favourite tipple, we all have cravings.

Russell Brand

Much as Russell Brand is right, there are so-called functioning addicts who you would not even realise are hooked on their drug of choice, and it can take many years for the effects to begin to show. Often referred to as “high functioning addicts” owing to their having powerful jobs or enough money to effectively hide their addiction from others. This knocks on the head the commonly presented image of an addict being down-and-out or living on the streets. According to the American Psychiatric Association, there is no such thing…they are all just addicts who have created coping mechanisms.

My father, God rest his soul, came home after holding down a high-powered job and drank whisky every day of his life, yet he would be horrified at the idea of being described as an addict. But when he left hospital after lung cancer removal surgery, he sat down and demanded, “Get me a whisky and a cigarette.” On the suggestion that was not a good idea and that he would end up back in hospital, he snapped “Are you threatening me?”

Growing up, I was told that an addict was someone who got up and drank first thing. Drinking after coming home from work and weekends was seen as normal for many in the 60s and through to the 90s. All of our soaps were featured around a pub, making alcohol look like a socially acceptable way of life.

I had a volatile relationship with my dad, but his fight with cancer gave me a better understanding of the nature of his addiction and where it had come from. He had been a talented jazz trumpeter and played with the BBC orchestra, but his nerves had come to the forefront and he started to self-medicate by having a few whiskies before his shows. Eventually, he gave up and started a family, but the drinking did not stop.

Charismatic

My father adored my best pal who also fights addiction, and is a truly remarkable human being who I was fortunate to love, and my dad did not like many people. The two were like two peas in a pod and talked for ages.

Spending time with my dad before he died made me wonder whether, if he had managed to overcome obvious anxiety and continued playing, perhaps he would have been happier. Of course, back then mental health was seen by many as a weakness and not to be spoken about.

My world has been filled with people who are addicts in one form or another. They are the most charismatic and amazing people and the arts are full of them. In my opinion, they all have one thing in common—they can snap and become almost frightening at the drop of a hat, and then suddenly they are wonderful and make you feel like you mean the world when they are OK. Sadly, during my childhood there was more of the former with my dad. Though I knew in the end that he loved me.

There are so many people living with addiction, anxiety, and mental health issues who are in denial. Even with all the help groups and open discussions there seems to be a quite a bit of stigma attached to it still.

Dr Pam Spurr, a popular self-help expert and radio television personality, says she often encounters people who are in denial about their issues that are the source of their addiction problems. They say things like “I just have a little problem with confidence” which ignores the fact that they drink excessively to help make them feel more confident. Or they say, “I only drink after work to take the edge off.” But when they count up the units, they are far in excess of government guidelines. It’s at times like these that I encourage them to think honestly about their drinking (or drug taking) and consider expert advice.

Dr Pam

Many addicts get clean either by joining the 12-step programme, by checking into rehab, or by seeking counselling. The journey of recovery can be different and what works for one person might not work for another person. It is important to point out that as much as the newspapers show pictures of celebrities dashing off to glamorous-looking rehabs, getting into a state-run rehab in the UK can be very difficult for mere mortals.

While helping a friend who was using OxyContin (a pain killer) and had got into a mess from ordering online and then become addicted, the general health services did not want to know. Even going through other channels, she was advised that her chances of getting into rehab were slim, although she did come away from it with a strong network of friends around her.

A beautiful girlfriend of mine found her sobriety in a man as her anchor who was also living with addiction. They have both been clean for seven years now.

Living in LA, the 12 steppers (12 step programme) were like the mafia, and rumour had it that all the best movie deals were done at their meetings and also that many there did not have addiction issues and instead just wanted to pitch ideas.

There is no doubt that the 12-step programme helps many, and even if the meetings can become the new addiction it’s a healthy one.

I agree with Doctor Pam that it is amazing how much of a lack of understanding there is about addiction.

Cake

My gorgeous bubbly friend Monica is originally from California. She is a super bright academic having gone to Yale, lectured all over the world, and she also ran a school for a while.

Yet three years ago she decided to open an up-market catering company as her award-winning chef sister is a goddess in the business. People actually beg for invites to try her canapés.

Lunch with Monica is always fun—it starts off with “Darling shall we share a cake after?” Despite being gorgeous, she is always on some kind of diet. Her little addiction would be cake.

Like one or two other intellectuals I have met with qualifications coming out of every orifice, their life skills sometimes leave me speechless. Despite having a gay brother, she once commented on a photo shoot involving five men I had directed “Is the man with his foot up against the wall a sign he is gay?” I replied “No darling, there are no secret signs; it’s a James Dean inspired clothing shoot.” She just smiled and continued eating.

Today, however, she was on the warpath. She was catering for a big party we had worked on together to get celebrities at. One of the celebs had behaved inappropriately to some of the other guests and to a couple of waitresses.

She was not amused when I laughed, “Well darling, at least he did not get his cock out and try and pee in the champagne fountain like at my other friend’s launch. How that did not end up in the papers is beyond me.” I got the school ma’am look.

He was living with addiction – not surprising considering his childhood trauma and the abuse he lived with. He really should not have been drinking. I am not excusing him, but it’s not the end of the world that I did not invite him to the next few. I said that I’d have a word. Her eyes got wider, and she seemed shocked that I had empathy with the celebrity at all. She wanted him banned for life.

Taboo

As much as I have some reservations about the 12-step programme, saying you’re sorry to those you may have hurt is not easy to do, but it sometimes isn’t enough. I started talking about addiction, and a few minutes in it was clear that it was going nowhere, even though I was sharing this with someone highly intelligent.

Addiction remains a taboo subject. There are so many people in denial and as much as the newspapers are full of celebrity headlines about them being addicted, most of us don’t want to talk about it or feel labelled by it.

A year ago my phone rang—it was a friend who had come out of family day at a rehab centre that her daughter was attending. She was fuming that they suggested that it may run in the family, “They had better not be blaming this on me. I have no addiction.” She was not amused when I laughed “It’s not about you and I will remind you of that next time you refuse to come home from the bar or spend two weeks obsessing about something.”

Outside those who are counsellors, therapists, and those who talk openly about their addiction and some of their loved ones, I have found very few people who understand those living with addiction.

A very wise woman, author, presenter, and journalist, Jane Moore was one person who seemed to understand it. Lester and Jane were great friends and the two together were hysterical. Yet Lester had gone on a tirade about her and I was mortified since she was a true loyal friend to him, and he was starting to run out of friends due to his behaviour.

Lester Middlehurst and Jane Moore

While ringing her and offering full apologies asking her not to fall out with him, she calmly said, “I could never be offended by Lester. He is hurting too much, but he’s lucky to have a friend in you.”

At the time I just thought, but I wish if I had taken those words more to heart I might not have taken his behaviour personally and got as hurt as I did in the end. It helped later in life as I saw the pain addiction brings too.

The LGBTQ community have learnt to talk more as we have needed to be heard to survive. Most surveys say that a larger proportion of those identifying drug and alcohol use as a coping mechanism are LGBTQ, but I beg to differ.

I have sat in many restaurants and bars in London watching the city boys and their entourage go back and forth to the toilets, passing each other along the way. I am pretty sure they are not the kind found in the survey.

Addiction is a worldwide human crisis according to the World Drug Report. Unless we start talking about it, spotting the signs at an early age, and treating it as an illness, many will die with all the new and powerful drugs flooding the market. Whole towns have been wiped out in the US due to drug addiction.

Chemsex is the consumption of drugs to facilitate sexual activity. Both terms refer to a subculture of recreational drug users who engage in high-risk sexual activities under the influence of drugs within groups. Chemsex parties are said to be prolific on the London gay scene, but that is a different story. Not wanting to be righteous, I have no experience of it or want to engage in it. Recent reports in the gay press say chemsex parties are held across UK, but there is a correlation between addiction and sex shame.

The perfect storm

David Stewart of 56 Dean Street, an award-winning HIV and sexual health clinic in the heart of London, explains that this trend is driven by a convergence of factors: “Vulnerable gay men with issues around sex, new drugs that tapped into that problem and changing technology. What they call the perfect storm.”

There was enough of a problem for the government to lay out guidelines in 2017.

Actress Danielle Westbrook, who I have interviewed many a time, put it simply to me, “Look Steve, you get ten people at a party and they all try coke for the first time. Four never try it again, four have it once in a blue moon, and two poor things are addicted six months later.”

The answer would be to never take the risk, but human nature is never that simple.

My friend Lester will never come back but it led me to have so much more of an understanding of addiction and how to protect myself around addiction. Many of the world’s beautiful people are soldiers fighting addiction every day of their lives.

Relevant links

For the whole story on Lester Middlehurst see It Shouldn’t Happen To A Hairdresse

http://www.thecabinchiangmai.com

Dean Street is in Soho to help with all types of issues from chemsex, HIV, sexual health, and counselling.

http://dean.st/chemsex-support/

https://www.gayandsober.org/meeting-finder-great-britain

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Is everyone a little bit racist?

Post author By Steven Smith.
Post date 16th Aug 2024
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Steven Smith asks the question in these troubling times.

Is everyone a little bit racist?

In the wake of current events, “Tales of a single, middle-aged gay man” looks at the question, “Is everyone unintentionally a little racist?” Are we, as a society, guilty of labelling others just at a glance? Does our upbringing dictate our fear of others that might be perceived to be different from us? How can we move forward and make changes, so everyone is seen as equal?

These days, you cannot escape the “Black Lives Matter” slogan. It’s everywhere and it breaks my heart that we still have to hear those words. We think of ourselves as a civilised society and yet some of us still feel the need to proclaim that their lives have value. Even during the pandemic, crowds of people are taking to the streets begging to have their voices heard.

Strike at the root

Why in 2020 do people feel that their lives matter less, and why does anyone need reminding that a life matters? We all breathe the same air and wake up with similar hopes, dreams and stresses. Why should anyone feel that others think they or their very lives matter less? It is time to make sure that future generations never have to be reminded that a life matters. As with so many serious problems, you must strike at the root. Since no-one is actually born a racist, let’s teach children we are all the same.

A racist – someone who believes that other races are not as good as their own and therefore treats them unfairly, discriminating against other races, religions or others they perceive as a minority group.

Avenue Q

Five years ago, I was sitting in the hugely uncomfortable Noel Coward Theatre, wondering if the Marquis de Sade had designed the seats especially for people under 5’ 2” who hadn’t eaten anything in the previous year. Putting that aside, I am here to see one of my guilty pleasures, “Avenue Q”. It’s a kind of adult puppet show that has me in stitches every time. But there is one song in particular in the show that makes me a little uncomfortable: “Everyone is a little racist”. Princeton Puppet asks Kate Monster, “You’re a monster, right, so are you related to Tricky Monster, my neighbour?” Horrified, Kate tells him she finds that racist. Princeton goes on to point out some of her racist qualities, and they burst into song.

Avenue Q.

“Everyone is a little bit racist at times.” Now, I’m sure many people reading this will be thinking to themselves – I may not be perfect, but racist is one thing I’m not.

That’s exactly what I thought as I left the theatre “Do not put me in that category.” At the same time, Kate Monster’s indignant reaction touched a nerve with me. You wouldn’t believe the number of times in my life I’ve been asked if I know a certain gay person, just because I’m gay too.

The gay book

One woman at a wedding party in Guernsey charged up to me and before formal introductions could be made, blurted out, “I hear you’re gay! David from EastEnders is gay, do you know him?” My reply was, “No, but I’ll look him up in the gay book.” Her eyes widened with excitement. “There’s a book?” I assured her there was (she did not get irony), and off she popped to tell her friends, who seemed to find me of great interest because of my sexuality. Was it ignorance, racism, homophobia or just misguided? Either way, it did not make me feel very comfortable and I kept an eye out to make sure a wicker man was not being built in the town square that weekend.

Yes, as members of the human race most people can be racist, many unintentionally, even if it is just a little bit. This topic is close to my heart for personal reasons, which is why I’ve hesitated to comment until now. Take my beautiful best friend of ten years, Dee. Her amazing personality and talent were what hit me first, not the colour of her skin.

My eyes go to the heavens when I hear, “This is my gay friend.” My friends are not categorised by skin colour, sexuality or religious belief, but by who they are as people – their loyalty, personality and kindness. This is what I see as a human being.

The N word

Colour only comes into play when a friend shares with me (for instance) that when she was a little girl, she had a friend who was white and who loved to play outside with her. One day she rushed to meet her, and the girl told her that her mum had said she could not play with her anymore, as she was a n—–. My friend rushed home in tears and told her mum what had happened. Her mother replied that sometimes in this world people are not very nice. As my friend recounted this story, I could see – from her eyes, her body language – that it had left a lifelong scar.

How do we fix this, so no child feels discriminated against? Taking to the streets in a peaceful, safe protest is one way. But let’s not get into a mob mentality, or the agenda changes. Let’s keep things in perspective. There is no doubt that Churchill, Gandhi and many more celebrated historic figures, by today’s standards, were racist, due to the nature of society at the time. If we judge them on a way of life back then it brings nothing to the table, as – where do we stop? If a statue needs to come down because atrocities have been proven to have been committed let’s lobby to get it down. There are ways to deal with this, but vigilante behaviour isn’t one of them.

Nor am I convinced that we’ll get anywhere by banning old TV shows. We need them as historic references to start with, and if we allow censorship to come into play here, where does it stop? Waking up to hear that the “Faulty Towers” episode “The Germans” (sometimes known as “Don’t Mention the War”) had been banned was the final straw. “Little Britain” has gone too, apparently, as it causes offence.

Racism off the scale

If you want to see real racist shows you only have to go back to the 70s and watch the likes of Alf Garnett or “George and Mildred”. The homophobia, sexism and racism is off the scale from Hylda Baker in “Not on Your Nellie”, which was primetime Sunday viewing in the UK at one time. In one opening scene, she asks a police officer for directions and when he turns around and she sees he is black, she tells him, “You won’t know as you’re not from here either.”

Benny Hill is a programme steeped in misogyny, homophobia and racism, but still embraced in the US as quintessential British humour, and the classic Carry On films are full of the same. “Bo’ Selecta!” came under fire from Trisha Goddard, yet Mel B embraced it and appeared on the show, as did the singer Craig David. “White Chicks” is still one of my favourite comedy films, where two black police officers dress up as two white society girls.

Trying to alter the past to make it more acceptable is always futile. Sure, petition and lobby for a statue to be removed that’s celebrating someone’s life if they’ve turned out to be an evil character, but let’s all have a say, not just a small group deciding what comes down or up. We need reminding of what can happen if we do not keep things in check.

How would you feel?

There are so many people going on about “All Lives Matter”, and they’re so right, but completely missing the point: nobody is saying that black lives matter more, just that black lives matter as much as anyone else’s. Could you imagine if this was you in the picture below and it referred to your forefathers – how would you feel?

We may not be born racist, but it’s a poisonous lesson many of us learn even from our first day at school. Growing up, my dad hated the Welsh. He was always on about the fella who stole his army uniform when he was in the services. “Never trust them.” He went on tarring an entire country with the same brush, though he had a soft spot for Katherine Jenkins. Much as I knew this was just ridiculous, on my first visit to Cardiff there was a slight nervous feeling. It had been bred into me as a small child, even though I knew most of what my dear dad said was racist, homophobic and misogynistic. His generation sat around in bars and clubs, judging others.

Enoch Powell

I remember childhood visits to family and friends, in whose mouths (you would think) butter wouldn’t melt. Grandmothers and mums would sit knitting away and make a comment like, “I don’t mind the coloureds as long as they don’t move in next door to us, it brings the property price down.” Or even as an adult, a friend’s mum saying (much to his horror), “Enoch Powell had the right idea, you know.” His Rivers of Blood speech is still thought to be an acceptable way of thinking for some, let’s not forget.

It would make a difference, surely, if schools were more proactive in teaching children that we’re all made in the same human mould, and bullying and looking down on people is never acceptable. From day one, yes, we may have different heritages but let’s embrace and learn about cultures and approach them inclusively.

My musical influences, as well as Bowie and Marc Bolan, included the brilliant Diana Ross and Motown sounds in general. There was also the beauty of the jazz greats such as Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald. Moving to London was my first time mixing with other cultures and hitting clubs like the Embassy and Bangs Adams. It was exciting to be dancing to the likes of Grace Jones and Sister Sledge, and my only thought about those who had darker skin was how beautiful they looked.

Diana Ross.

On my first visit to New York, it really hit me how racist people can be. “Do not go to that area, it’s a black neighbourhood.” “Why not?” I asked. “It’s dangerous.” And there were lots of comments about black people from those who looked like civilised people. This was in the early 80s. Needles to say, being me, I explored Harlem and the Bowery, despite their warnings. But why are there “black” neighbourhoods even now? Besides which, other people suggesting these neighbourhoods are too dangerous to enter is one of the things that keeps segregation alive.

Harlem in the 70s.

New York is one of the more tolerant states. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when people tell me they know the US when they have just visited one city. Go to Dallas and travel a few miles out where life is all church and sport, and you will be gobsmacked at the homophobia and racism. Take a side trip from LA through San Diego to the beautiful town of La Jolla, and you can sit for hours without seeing one black person. I know this as I worked there.

Hair

One thing in favour of the US is that to become a hairdresser you must be able to do all types of hair and their state board exam mirrors this. As a result, I can do starfighters, jerry curls and all types of black hair.

The same cannot be said for the UK, where there are for the most part separate salons. Several times when I have turned up to a job and the actress or model was black, their faces dropped when they saw a white boy. One in particular shook her head: “I am just back from Michigan and spent £600 on this weave. No offence honey, no white boy’s getting near it.” In the end, she was very happy with the result. Still, here at least, the UK needs to learn from America, and make sure all hairdressers can work with all types of hair.

Dee and I are often mistaken for a couple and even though we are not, we have had our fair share of bad attitudes from both black and white waiters and others, even in cosmopolitan London. At a funeral of a friend’s mother who originated from the Caribbean I was waiting at the church. The mourners were largely black. As I stood there, I was twice asked to park the car and others seemed to think I was working there and asked me for various things. Then one asked if I was related to our friend’s husband, who was white. When I said no, he replied, “Easy mistake, you all look the same.”

There is no doubt in my mind racism is learnt and is everywhere. I’m not sure that sudden efforts at drastic change, made in the heat of the moment, will last. Let us start from the core with groups like Diversity Role Models and others going into schools. Let’s talk about issues without everyone name calling, and stop telling the young people anyone from another race is worth less or has odd ways. Let’s embrace all cultures in a positive light.

It leaves me wondering: if an alien nation attacked earth, as humans, would we all come together in unity to fight back? Looking at the governments we have today, I doubt it. After all, they can’t even agree what to do when our planet is being attacked by a virus.

END

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Happy Birthday Madonna from 2SHADES

Post author By Steven Smith.
Post date 16th Aug 2024
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This article first appeared three years a go but just as current . The Church of Madonna by Steven Smith.

It’s a warm night in Athens and there is a gentle wind blowing through the Pictures Restaurant, which is lit by candles, making it a perfect atmosphere for dinner.

My weekend hosts have joined me: the divine Atticus (a self-confessed Greek Diva with oodles of style, wit and charm) and his partner Count Alex, a man you can describe in one word, “Class”: this, and he is a walking encyclopaedia. Plus, Adam, my best pal, had jetted in from Asia. He has just started a course on sex addiction to add to his qualification as a counsellor. You can guarantee that tonight is going to be packed with fascinating conversation, debate and humour and (hopefully) good food.

Nonetheless, it is not too long into the conversation before the M word comes up (NO, not monogamy). Madonna.

Madame X

She seems to have a way of popping into so many evenings as a subject in my life, and not just among my male gay friends. I have on occasion wanted to say, “LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT MADONNA” but how can we not, when so many of my friends are devotees of The Church of Madonna?

In fairness, Atticus has just managed to obtain a ticket to see Madonna, or her alter ego Madame X, at the London Palladium next year.

“I want to see the whites of my fans’ eyes and get up close and personal – give them something back,” she explained to presenter Rylan Clark on the BBC’s One Show, as an explanation for her choosing to do a theatre tour.

Atticus is sitting in great Royal Circle seats, but I enquire, “Will she be using binoculars to see the whites of your eyes?” He replies, “BITCH!’

A hint of jealousy on my part? No! To be honest I am thrilled for my friends who have tickets, but a little dig is always camp.

Awkward

The subject stays on Madonna and that rather awkward interview she gave on The Graham Norton Show. Madonna was not the only guest that evening. Director Danny Boyle and actors Lily James and Himesh Patel were also on to chat about their new film, Yesterday. They were on first, and to be truthful I couldn’t wait for them to finish and M to appear. But finally, she appears: the audience goes wild, as do I (though only in my front room).

Host Graham Norton with (seated left to right) Sir Ian McKellen, Madonna, Danny Boyle, Lily James, and Himesh Patel during the filming for the Graham Norton Show at BBC Studioworks 6 Television Centre, Wood Lane, London, UK on June 13, 2019. Photo by Isabel Infantes/PA Wire/ABACAPRESS.COM

But for once Madonna looks a little uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the fact she’s dressed as Madam X, complete with a Betty-Davis-inspired eye patch from the film The Anniversary,making her look like she’s arrived at a fancy-dress party and no one else has bothered to make the effort to get a costume.

She was obviously on to promote her ninth number one US album, Madam X. It is her fourteenth studio album and deservedly also her biggest critical success to date, but you have the feeling she wants to go home and change. This sense is fortified when Graham asks her to take a seat and she seems to have problems sitting down on the couch

“I am not used to sitting with this many people. Is there room?” Madonna asks.

Then there’s a problem with the actual costume. “Someone’s tied my corset too tight, my boobs keep popping up,” Madonna points out as she sits down, pulling her jacket over her breasts.

The interview does not go well, and she actually says, when asked “Do you ever get anxious?”:

“Yes, right now.”

It’s a mile away from the fun she seemed to have with Rylan Clark on the BBC One Show. Madonna seemed to adore him. She managed to cap it all by seemingly insulting our “national treasure”, Sir Ian McKellen, by asking what he did.

Exhibitionism

Though it has been misquoted (she asked what he did on his one-man show), she was vague and rather distant.

“She is an introvert really,” says Atticus, and Adam agrees. They go on to say you can be a performer and still be an introvert.

Yes, I have met many introverts whose drug of choice has been exhibitionism, making them look like extroverts.

Once the mask is dropped for a minute or they’re not comfortable, they can make for awkward conversation, or if in the public eye they can often come over as rude in interviews.

The singer Cher says Madonna is not the best singer or dancer and to quote her, “She has taken straw and spun it into gold”: a little harsh. Marlene Dietrich and Marilyn Monroe, both of whom Madonna takes inspiration from, were not the best singers or dancers but their images captured the time and a nation’s heart.

Madonna is a brilliant creative genius who has captured the moments of many of our lives and mirrored them in her songs and her imagery.

Whilst Cher’s songs are pleasant bubble-gum music (despite dishing Madonna she asked her to write for her), Madonna has something to say to us as quoted in the hit song “Express Yourself”. From “Papa Don’t Preach” (talking about abortion) to the current “God Control” (talking about gun control), Madge has never shied away from preaching to us and we have lapped it up.

Madonna has been in my life since my late teens and I have related to her more than most people, as she seemed to be thinking what I was at the most crucial moments of my adult life.

A stunning Amanda Lear performance at Heaven in the early eighties left me spellbound as she entered the stage in white leather on a chauffeured motorbike. Jumping off, she took off her helmet and let fall her thick blonde hair, shortly to be joined by leather-clad male dancers. It was spectacular.

A year later and someone I had never heard of was on at Heaven. Madonna was billed as a New York club-scene darling. She had two dancers and was cute and wore a hat, but she did not have her act polished and certainly seemed to lack the stage presence of Lear. Still, she had something, and she stuck in my mind.

Not that it really compares but I’d just qualified as a hairdresser and was also finding my way and not quite polished, so I guess when she burst into the charts and I recognised her, there was a feeling of “Well done girl”. And I began, like many, to champion her. There was something that she had that’s important in a star – the public related to her quickly. Girls (and some boys) emulated the look: she could be your friend, lover or sister. She was the naughty girl in class we all secretly admired.

Too often, if someone looks too unattainable or perfect, people shy away from them as idols. The critics favoured Cindy Lauper and mocked Madonna’s early performances as she dropped her tambourine or sang off key. Much as Lauper was fun, it was the Material Girl we all wanted to be with.

Debbie Harry

By 1985, I was a busy hairdresser living in Brighton and a huge fan of Madonna. The number-one hairstyle, due in part to the film Desperately Seeking Susan,was the Madonna look, and my gang saw it several times: the camera just loved her. Apparently, according to the recent Channel 5 documentary, she studied Debbie Harry (Blondie) and the greats Marilyn and Greta Garbo to get that screen look. Those of you who have seen Madonna’s early audition for the movie Fame can see the giant improvement in her technique.

January 1987. I had made it to L.A., California, and my career as a hairdresser had really taken off. People were open and friendly, and it seemed to take only hours before invites to parties arrived, thanks to meeting a man on the plane who lived in Malibu and (to quote him) “knew everyone”.

Madonna’s True Blue album was never off my car radio and Mexican food (something strange in the UK at the time) was fast becoming my favourite.

Having a partner, I stayed away from the Malibu and Laguna beach crowd as I knew it would spell trouble. The mention of a, b, c parties put me off.

We were lucky enough to make friends with a rancher called Very Magnusson, who made us welcome. His ranch grew avocados and he had a sweet, illegal Mexican ranch hand called Ernesto working there and living there. He had a one-room hut covered in Madonna posters. He was full of smiles and hope. I really felt for him, although he spoke no English.

Madonna had released Whose That Girl (the movie and soundtrack) and she was touring. I managed through a friend there to get two tickets, ten rows from the front, to her concert in Anaheim. My partner was not taken with Madonna. So, who to take?

I decided it would be great and a dream to take Ernesto.

Vern seemed shocked. “Are you sure??”

Latino

July 18th. .There I am, all excited with Ernesto for Madonna to come on. But there is a problem: the security has checked Ernesto’s ticket for the sixth time and not mine.

“HE IS WITH ME,” I snap. Some of the people in the row are giving looks too.

I am beginning to realise that there’s a real preconceived attitude towards the Latino community in the US.

This is cemented when the man from Malibu comes running up with two friends. “Honey, how fab to see you, who are you with?”

When I say with Ernesto, they actually back off and can’t wait to get away. (There was even a sneering, “How do you know him?”)

Bigotry or hate I cannot abide. Much as anti-LGBTQ behaviour was a day-to-day issue in my life, a person being treated like this because of their race and class had my blood boiling and it was around about the same time that Madonna started telling us all to love one another.

If she had seen how a young Mexican boy was being treated at her concert, she would have told them to do more than “Open your Heart” – the opening song to her Who’s That Girl concert.

Sadly, Ernesto got involved in a local gang and was found dead two years later.

June 1988, and I was in New York, sitting in the front row of the Royale Theatre, about to see Speed the Plow, a three-handed play starring Madonna. I never asked for the front row, but a PR friend booked the seats and thought it would be great.

I was studying acting at Adam Hill in Los Angeles in my spare time, so I was keen to see her stage work.

Madonna comes on with brunette hair, holding a tray. She is visibly shaking (as the glasses on the tray are moving) and it is not part of the play. She is incredibly attractive in the flesh, close up. Sadly, Madonna is like a first-year drama student doing a monologue full of promise but has not yet refined the craft. The critics were lukewarm at best.

But the play is good and a modern classic.

Still, apart from David Bowie when I was 17, it’s the only time I’ve waited to see a celebrity by the stage door. When Madonna came out, eventually, in a chic Chanel suit, she looked straight down and got into the limo. It did make me feel like a stalker. What was I going to say to her if she had stopped? “Fancy a drink, Madonna?”

Blonde Ambition

Later, on a US television interview, she says, “Why do we always listen to the one critic over those that praise us?” It is so true: ten people can say something nice and the one person who is negative or says something of a passive-aggressive nature, I’ll be thinking about for weeks to come.

I never got to see the Blonde Ambition tour live. Still, we all loved the 1991 film Truth or Dare or, as it was known outside the US, In Bed with Madonna.It’s the one where she apparently outs people and demonstrates with the aid of an Evian bottle how to give oral sex.

Her moving speech at the GLAAD Media Awards in May this year, wearing Elizabeth Emmanuel:

“I had no idea it was going to inspire so many gay men to, A, give blow jobs to Evian bottles, or, B, just have the courage to come out and be free and take a stand and say this is who I am, like it or not.”

Sadly, some of the dancers, in my opinion, betrayed her and once their 15 minutes were up, took her to court, as documented in the film, Strike a Pose.

We have all been there: you help someone and they turn on you. There is no doubt she is a taskmaster and a perfectionist, but what an incredible start for anyone in the business. She taught us to forgive and stuck with the format of hiring new talent.

The 1992 coffee-table book Sex had fans queuing up at book shops around the world. Though she came under fire from critics, many saying her career was over, the silver-foil-covered soft-porn book is still a collector’s item.

Much as fetish clubs in New York and London, such as Torture Garden, were springing up, showing us, “a different way to love”, S&M has been around since the start of time. She opened the way for people, and in particular women, to talk about fantasy sex. Though her song “Hanky Panky” from the Dick Traceymovie soundtrack “Breathless” said she just wanted to be spanked, later she retracted this, saying, “Just try it”.

Your correspondent in shorts with a sign that says SEX on it

She had us all talking about SEX though, encouraging us not to be afraid of our desires. I still have a framed Madonna Sex cardboard cut-out.

“Erotica” was one of the first tracks she performed at her concert The Girlie Show in London in 1993. My best pal Lester Middlehurst from the Daily Mailwas working on the now defunct Today newspaper and he had VIP press tickets for the show. “Darling, you have to fly over for the weekend at least.”

Not to be ungrateful, there I was in the VIP press area in the gods. I was still at the age, I guess, where I liked to see the whites of the eyes of the performers and be with the crowd. Bless my departed friend, I don’t think he even liked Madonna.

I could write for hours about my experiences relating to Madonna. The second part will have to wait till near her concert time.

Madonna the introvert, the exhibitionist, the good Catholic girl at heart, the mother or lover. There is one thing for sure – she keeps one eye well open at all times when it comes to everything she’s doing, and both feet on the ground.

Where other icons have failed and gone to heaven, you just know the material girl will keep Vogueing on ‘til she drops. Or maybe she will surprise us and “Take a Bow” after this tour.

Follow Steven on Twitter https://twitter.com/asksteve2c

Tags LGBTQIA, queer, reviews, Theatre

Culture Lifestyle People

Art and soul. Meet global art sensation Pedro Sousa Louro.

Post author By Steven Smith.
Post date 12th Aug 2024
No Comments on Art and soul. Meet global art sensation Pedro Sousa Louro.

Steven chats over coffee with art sensation Pedro Sousa Louro

Pedro Sousa Louro is one of the most talked-about LGBTQ artists at the moment. The Portuguese born painter is exciting the art world with his blend of styles and fresh take on painting.

Educated at the Chelsea College of Arts in London, Pedro’s work caught the attention of many at the prestigious Kunstmesse art fair in Germany last year. He is also among the headliners at the START art show this autumn at the Saatchi Gallery. Our very own art connoisseur, Steven Smith, catches up with him at his studio in Wimbledon.

Do you remember the first painting you ever did and what made you want to become an artist?

I was fascinated by Greek and Roman statues, especially the beauty of the naked form and the stillness from an early age. It caused quite a stir when my first drawing at school was a statue, and some teachers were not impressed, though others thought it was great. Of course, my style at the time was hardly refined, and to some eyes, it may have looked like mischief-making.

Either way, art captured my imagination from an early age and creating images was something that excited me. So, becoming an artist was something that has always been at the forefront of my life.

Who in the art world influences you?

Francis Bacon and Picasso, as well as Dame Rachel Whiteread and Robert Rauschenberg. Art is always a personal thing, and these artists really speak to me. When I am looking at their work, it moves me and inspires me to create.

What training did you do to become an artist?

I graduated with an Arts degree from the Chelsea College of Arts in 1998. Two decades later, I graduated from the Kensington and Chelsea Art College in Abstract Expressionism and Abstract Vision.

Your work has been shown all over Europe, and you are appearing later this year at START in the Saatchi Gallery London. Can you tell us a little about START and do your audiences differ from country to country?

It is my first time exhibiting at the Saatchi Gallery and START Art Fair in London. The timing could not be better. It is an honour to be a part of this prestigious event and a chance to network with new artists as well as established ones. The fair is a global gathering of artists and gives new talent a chance to show their work.

Last year my work was shown at the fifth Kunstmesse art fair in Leipzig, Germany. I do not think that the audiences differ. In every show that I have been a part of, people have been enthusiastic and inspiring.

https://www.startkx.com/exhibitions/

What advice would you give to a young artist starting out?

It is not easy at all to be an artist seeking recognition, especially in these modern ages, where social media platforms are making a colossal and gigantic difference in the careers of artists. I’m one of them! I want to be recognised by the public and by the established art scene. I want my artwork and my abstract visual language on our new modern living expressionism to be taken seriously as another important artist legacy and statement. The advice is only one. Don’t stop working even in times when it seems you aren’t going anywhere. If we don’t stop working, we’ll arrive somewhere, and that is inevitable. If you don’t stop creating you will arrive somewhere – a good place or a not-so-good place – but you’ll arrive somewhere!

How do you think COVID has affected the arts and LGBTQ community in general?

I have seen artists, where I have my studio, for instance, leaving their studios because they cannot afford the rent or because they have lost their other jobs, the direct income support of their lives. It is unfortunately sad, but on the other side, I have seen so many artists making sales over the internet and on social media platforms. Some of them did exceptionally well.

Do you think that with apps like Grindr and Scruff being so popular, romance is dying?

Inevitably, yes. The technology of these sex and social apps on our phones completely eradicate so many vital personal elements of each one of us. From educational factors to responsible factors and so on, this new way of interaction between us has changed so profoundly that romance has become an old-fashioned item, not even vintage!

Some of our best British artists have been LGBTQ, from Francis Bacon, David Hockney to sculptress Maggie Hambling. How much does your sexuality influence your artwork?

I have heard so many different views and opinions about my work being too connected with my sexuality. There are people from galleries from the art world itself, saying that it is 100% related to and influenced by my sexuality. I just let them talk and say what they want.

I would say between 50% to 70% is undoubtedly associated with my sexuality. But there are quite significant elements which come from my art studies and the art research that I attach to my creativity.

How does your family feel about your work?

My parents still live in Portugal. My dad is the silent type, and my mum is vocal about her love of my art. They are both proud. My sister lives in Oxford, and she is a huge fan, I am hoping she will be at START. I am one of six children, and we are all proud of one another.

What would you like to see happening in the art world in the future?

I would like to see myself happening more, actually. I would like to see myself coming out as a more established artist, flourishing and gaining recognition worldwide. Yes, it’s all about me! Well, why not?

QUICKFIRE ROUND

Your favourite restaurant in London?

Right now, Sexy Fish in Mayfair. Amazing Asiatic food.

The one thing you find to be a turn off in others?

Their selfish, cynical side that makes them think they can always get away without doing the work.

The most romantic place in London?

I think London is a very romantic city, but for me, Chelsea Embankment is a more private environment. It is so romantic.

What is one thing you would change about London if you were the mayor for a day?

As Mayor of London for just one day, I think I would want to make all galleries and transport free .

What is your favourite film?

Well, I used to have a favourite film, The Bridges of Madison County with Meryl Streep, but now I have so many. So, now anything with Cate Blanchett for me is a good movie. She is my new obsession!

www.pedrosousalouro.co.uk

Tags art, Art Exhibition, artist, artists, LGBTQIA, London, painting

Columns Culture Lifestyle People

Steven’s Viewz

Screenshot

Picture Terry Scott

A column that does not hold back.

My viewz and not of 2Shades brought to you bi -monthly a column that does not hold back

“Where to pee or not to pee, is that really a question?”

Trans. Trans, dear God has there ever been a topic that will have you cancelled simply for not agreeing and get so many hot under the collar?

Now let us get this straight and to help the right-wing God squad: if your apparent higher power allowed a child to be born with bone cancer or deformed, is there not a chance he popped one or two in the wrong body too?

For me, if a man or woman feels they have been born in the wrong body and have undergone two years of therapy and gender reassignment, as far as I am concerned, they are now the sex of their choice.

People who have had gender-affirming surgery have been in my life since I was 16. The Famous Julia / George dropped coffee all over my Fiorucci white jump suit at “Scandals” night club when she ran the coffee shop there. Strangely we became friends. From April Ashley to Tallulah, famous sex changes have been in the news. Many have played under the radar and of course with some there was the odd whisper, but all for most part got on with their new lives. Wonderful India Willoughby, whom I admire, campaigns for

https://www.amazon.com/Just-Julia-Story-Extraordinary-Woman/dp/1852834811

rights and (just as important) educates. She is always approachable

if I have a question of anyone else for that matter on the topic .

The lovely India Willoughby https://x.com/IndiaWilloughby?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Transvestites who enjoy popping a frock on are not in that transgender category, however.

Nor is drag. Drag has been around since time began and in the theatrical sense it is a performance. So many people seem to be labelling drag artists as trans which, for the most part, they are not. Men that suddenly announce they are trans and pop on a frock, an acrylic wig and some false nails are not women.

Sure, some might be starting a journey towards being a woman. Others never will make that trip and must appreciate it is a dream and not expect rights as a woman.

Tim Curry in the incredible The Rocky Horror show is a sweet Transvestite not to be confused with gender reassignment https://rockyhorror.co.uk

Much as mixed toilets have been in many venues for years, the right for a woman or, when it comes to it, a man to go the toilet that is used by their own sex should be enforced. What many forget is some women are coping with trauma, having been raped or abused badly by men. They will find the idea of sharing a bathroom (where they are in a vulnerable state) with anyone with a penis utterly terrifying. Simply put, if you have a penis stay out of the ladies loo.

What is bizarre to me and many of the trans is this “Dead Life”, i.e. if you are now identify as woman, your prior life is “Dead Life” and you can suddenly create a whole past as girl. One (who we all know)

described how she slept with a variety of celebrities as a beautiful young girl – the issue here is she was a 17-year-old spotty boy at the time she claims it happened. It is just a lie, a “Fantasy Life” that to my mind is closer to criminal fraud.

I certainly would have been trans back in my school years. I used to pray that I would wake as a girl because being a boy was pure misery for me. Today I love being a man, in fact after about 14 that desire to be a girl eventually passed. For many it does not, and they have my

empathy and support to be who they want to be after a certain age.

Forcing kids into boxes i.e. boys like football and action and

girls like Barbie and cooking is one of the unhealthiest things I can think of. It is responsible for so many mental health issues in those kids who do not fit into society’s false expectations. But please do not let kids undergo surgery till they are fully matured and can decide if it is still what they really want.

Personally there would be no way I would even want a child of mine to have a piercing or tattoo until they were in their late teens. There are support groups such as Mermaids that help young people who feel they are struggling with gender

https://mermaidsuk.org.uk

Finally, practise what you preach. A lovely trans woman who I respected and addressed as a woman (even though they had not had surgery, or any work done), berated me for not eating what I was given at a dinner table (I do not eat red meat or pork).

“In my day you ate what you were given!” she chastised me.

Thank God for you it is not “your days” as you would be running for the hills dressed as woman. The problem is, if we expect people to accept us for who we are, it has to be reciprocal, not one-sided.

Colin Farrell – a real man of action

As if we could not love Colin Farrell enough already, the actor and his son James have melted our hearts this month. Colin has been talking about his 20-year-old son James who lives with Angel Syndrome.

“I want the world to be kind to James. I want the world to treat him with kindness and respect.”

The actor told People Magazine in the US.

https://people.com

Angelman syndrome is genetic disorder that mainly affects the nervous system. Symptoms include a small head and a specific facial appearance, severe intellectual disability, developmental disability, limited to no functional speech, balance and movement problems, seizures, and sleep problems.

Farrell has started a foundation in honour of his son in the US. The Colin Farrell Foundation will provide support for adult children who have an intellectual disability through advocacy, education and innovative programs.

As for the foundation, for years Farrell has wanted to do something in the realm of providing greater opportunities for families who have a child with special needs, to receive the support that they deserve and the assistance in all areas of life.

“Once your child turns 21, they’re kind of on their own,” Farrell says. “All the safeguards that are put in place, special ed classes, that all goes away, so you’re left with a young adult who should be an integrated part of our modern society and often is left behind.”

This is mirrored in the UK. Last year Dr Anna Kennedy OBE petitioned Number 10 Downing Street to help those living with autism to be aided after the age of 24 where government aid stops. “Who will look after my sons when I am gone?” is a question Anna has raised along with many parents of children with special needs.

Dr Anna Kennedy OBE and me delivering a petition to Number 10 downing street picture Terry Scott ,

Colin and Anna are real heroes and we need more of the likes of these two in this world.

Home

Toxic Come Dancing

Yet more bad news for the BBC as their top-rated show “Strictly Come Dancing” comes under fire for apparent bullying as previous contestants have been complaining.

Oh do get a grip. You go into a reality show and you are really expecting it to be plain sailing?

These people complaining of bad treatment have agents and a

right to walk out at any time. Stop, enough already. Do not go into a

show like “Strictly” or “I’m a Celebrity” and expect back rubs and hugs.

Dance is a highly disciplined practice and anyone who has properly

trained at the ballet or dance school will tell you it is not for the faint

hearted.

To conclude .

When your bear friend has been taking Ozempic and asks if

you have noticed any visible side effects on them…

End .

email Steven at spman@btinternet.com

agent https://www.comptonmanagement.com/?p=739

Tags gender, lgbtq, LGBTQIA, London, Mental Health, politics, reviews, trans, transgender

Columns

Pride

“Pride” means the quality or state of being proud, including self-esteem and a reasonable or justifiable self-respect.

It also denotes, “Delight or elation arising from some act or possession or relationship.”

@adishrichengappa @stevenswords63 in Born Anxious PROUD T-shirts picture Anna Marie Bickton https://www.annemariebickerton.co.uk

It has been Brighton Pride this weekend sadly I could not be there but it is just amazing to even see online!

I could not be prouder of how 2Shades is appealing to all of the community and our ally’s Pride is something we all take seriously it is who we are at the core of the magazine.

Brighton Pride picture by Simon Dack

Such changed days, indeed, from the 1970s, when the only form of LGBTQ publication around was “Gay News”, which I use to smuggle into the family home as a teenage boy. Back then, for mainstream magazines or newspapers to feature gay people in a positive light could be the kiss of death for the publication. It was a time when openly gay actors could be blacklisted with in the industry. Even being suspected of being gay could see you thrown out of the armed forces.

I remember my mother, on discovering the hidden paper, standing and screaming, “There is no such thing as ‘Gay News’, just bad news.” At the age of 15, I was out, causing more than a little scandal at my school, and despair and outrage at home. Much as my mother is now a big advocate of LGBTQ, it caused considerable upset in the 1970s. Only my sister, who was 13 at the time, had a kind word. She had been told there had been a great family upset. Karen squeezed my hand and told me she always knew I was gay, and she loved me.

PRIDE Picture Graham Martin https://www.grahammartinphotography.co.uk T shirt

My parents’ answer was to take me to see the Samaritans, to meet a man who had been in the merchant navy and therefore “knew about gays”. I can still see him sitting there in his light-blue pullover, looking somewhat uncomfortable. His advice was that gay men did not all look like David Bowie or Marc Bolan. I pointed out that both were, in fact, bisexual. He continued, “If you go to Portsmouth, there are big, hairy men on bikes looking for and preying on young men.”

Once safely back in the car with my parents, I raised the question: “Where is Portsmouth and how do I get there?”

Sadly, it always seems to be a shock when someone comes out to the family. There are more negative stories than positive ones. Even a model friend of mine, whose son was never out of her high heels and frocks, seemed devastated when he broke the news. It raised the question, “What was she seeing all those years as he grew up?”

This is a question also asked in the brilliant drama series, “It’s A Sin”. Valerie Tozer, masterfully played by Keely Hawes, is a mother in denial as her son lies dying of Aids. She blames everyone she can find except herself. Sandra (played by Ruth Sheen), whose son also lies ill, asks just that question: “What were you looking at when he was six? Ten? Fifteen?”

It is Sin https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9140342/

Even still today, kids are thrown out of their homes for being LGBTQ, and even for many that are allowed to stay, their lives can be made miserable. Their only crime is being a human being who loves someone or is attracted to the same sex. These are the same kids whose parents happily hand toy guns to them and let them play war games. But – what horror in a kiss with someone of the same sex!

I cried when watching the superbly crafted “Heartstoppers” on Netflix. The character Nick tells his mother he likes boys and girls. Played beautifully by Olivia Colman, the mother calmly thanks him for sharing that with her and hopes he is okay. If only more parents acted that way, there would be so much less trauma within the LGBTQ+ community, and our mental health would be stronger.

Heartstopper https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81059939

Things might be getting better, but the LGBTQ+ community is still under attack every day. As with all wars, a good strategy is a key factor in survival. Education in schools is essential – using positive role models, and making kids feel safe who do not fit the masculine or feminine stereotypes. This is still going to take time, understanding, and some amazing people to give a strong voice.

Education is the key to most things, and this includes brilliant diversity role models going into schools and talking about their lives. It is important, in everyday life, that we are up to educating our children and spotting the difference between homophobia and mere ignorance in this woke society, where everyone seems easily offended. A woman said to me quite recently, when I was clearly channelling a butch moment, “You don’t seem that gay. My hairdresser Eduardo is gay. He’s a scream. He does drag on a Tuesday.”

Looking at her carefully, I pointed out that the Krays were gay, adding one or two other examples. She went deadly quiet, and after a moment, she apologised. She hoped I was not offended. Of course, I wasn’t, but I had made someone think.

Thankfully, we now have positive role models that people can identify with. Jake Daniels, the first openly gay footballer, made headlines last month, and we also have Gareth Thomas, the rugby player, and Tom Daley, Olympic gold medallist. The sad thing is, while there are many gay footballers, fear of losing endorsements or their peers’ reactions keeps them in the closet. It is tragic that this still makes headline news. It shows that society still does not really except such men.

It is wonderful to see David Beckham come out and back Jake, but disappointing that he also backs the World Cup in Qatar, a country that still has the death penalty for gay people. We need our allies not to sit on the fence when it comes to human rights.

The gay community can be a homophobic place too. Often, the more flamboyant characters are not seen as the heroes. Gay men themselves sometimes fear being labelled camp or effeminate.

. But our tireless fights are not just for gay rights, but human rights. Quintin Crisp may have had some lapses in judgment, but he was a voice in the dark for people like me, Boy George and our generation. Bowie and Marc Bolan also showed us it was okay to be different.

The truth is, if an alien landed and asked us to show them what a typical gay person looked like, it would be impossible. It would be like being asked to find a quintessential heterosexual – then going to Chelsea football ground in the company of an overweight man, with a pint and a Union Jack t-shirt, smoking a fag, and shouting, “This is what a straight man looks like.” There would be an outcry, and trust me, there are many gay men that look like that too.

I have often been asked “Why do you need ‘Pride’. There’s no straight Pride.” My answer is always, “Thank your lucky stars you don’t need straight Pride.” We have to be a voice and be seen, in order to hope that one day, no-one will blink an eye if I hold my boyfriend’s hand in public. We must also hope that one day, that teenage boy’s or girl’s mum and dad will hug them when they come out, and the world will be a safe place for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s getting better, but we still have a long way to go.

Please tell everyone about 2Shades magazine and subscribe to us.

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81059939

Tags LGBTQIA, London, Mental Health, Pride, queer

Health and Fitness Lifestyle People

Michael Edde celebrity Barber

Post author By Steven Smith.
Post date 3rd Aug 2024
No Comments on Michael Edde celebrity Barber

Michael The Barber best kept secret

Mike Edde with one of the many celebrity clients Eammon Holmes

When it comes to woman’s hair if you need a brand new hair style it really is worth paying top dollar to get the best attention and idea’s to create a new you.

But often with a trim round the bottom you can get the same result with out robbing the bank at your local salon just do not expect a cappuccino , five minute head rub at the back wash and latest recommendations to the top spots in town you would get in the really high-end Salons.

However, when it comes to men’s hair, I gave up years ago getting my friends to cut my locks. It took too long and they never really did what I wanted except for the brilliant Martyne Fletcher who used to tend the late Joanne Rivers.

I gravitated to going to Sassoon’s who really never once made me happy and other high end Salon often leaving feeling robbed at £50 -£80 for a trim. One day I was just about to give up when saw a man in the gym who’s hair I liked so following my own advise I asked where he had it cut. “Mike the Barbers ” he replied. A local men’s shop that I had seen but would never dream of trusting my blond do to a shop a barbers.

I actually stood outside for three or four minutes to get up the nerve to go in, before asking for Mike, a dashing bubbly local legend in Earl’s Court. For sure there was not cappuccino in sight and no head rub, in fact unless you request it they do not wash your hair, as I more than often had to take the brush off the stylists in the high end salons and dry it myself so it was no loss to me.

Mike in his shop in Earl’s Court is legendary

Unlike many Sassoon people I noticed they where experts with razor’s and thinning scissors. I told Mike what i wanted and he asked if I would like the harsh line softened a bit, it had always bugged me that they could not soften it. Always ended up with a server wedge or fire fly. With in 15 minutes for the first time in years I loved my hair and did not need to grow a bit back or wish it had been cut shorter.

Mike tend the locks of actor Nick Nevern https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2339680/

Even better it was £11, I get it cut every two weeks now to keep it neat and I go with out worrying it will be yet another disappointment . Mike has been doing my hair for six years and every fella I recommend goes again and again and one or two short hair ladies love him too. You never know who you will bump into Wayne Sleep might just come pirouetting by or one of the many celeb clients that know the secret.

Now colouring is another thing only to go high-end.

Michael’s Barbers

54 Kenway road

Earl’s Court

London SW50RA

0207 370 6983

http://www.allinlondon.co.uk/directory/1183/16564.php

Tags barber, haircut, hairstylists, health, LGBTQIA, London

Columns Culture Lifestyle Travel

Anna Skydives!

Anna tells us all about her dive

Home

https://ukparachuting.co.uk.

Millions of people donate financially each year to charities.

However, many do not have the means to reach into their pockets and help. There are other ways to help from volunteering to raising funds by doing sponsored events like walking, cycling and even jumping from a plane. 2 Shades talks to someone who did exactly that, our columnist Dr Anna Kennedy OBE.

1. Anna, what on earth made you want to do a sky jump?

To be honest it was the last thing on my bucket list. We were brainstorming ways to raise funds for my charity Anna Kennedy online. One of our Patrons Steven Smith mentioned he had sky jumped out of a plane to raise funds for Pancreatic Cancer charity a few years back.

Three of the team, Steven, Aston Avery and Lisa Robins, decided they would all jump to help raise awareness. Quickly I made it clear that my contribution was to wave firmly on the ground. My fear of heights was too great to even think about doing it. Steven kept teasing me “You’re always getting others to do things outside their comfort zone, and they thank you for it”, and “Lead by example”. Thanks Steven I thought!

Dream team dive for Anna Kennedy on line

A few months ago, I spoke to Marie Hanson MBE (one of our Autism Hero Award judges) who had just jumped out of a plane and loved it so much that she was considering another challenge. Marie also had a fear of heights and said, “Go on Anna, you can do it!” So, I did!

Alway supportive @spman631dbbf47d on hand to give his advice

2 Tell us about the location where you did the jump?

We travelled to Peterborough to “UK Parachuting” at Sibson Airfield https://ukparachuting.co.uk. It is about fifteen twenty minutes from Peterborough station and they really looked after us.

There is a great café, and they advise you not to jump on an empty stomach. Steven was gutted as new rules meant that if your over 100kg the insurance won’t cover you for the dive. He was 4kg over and was not allowed to jump. Our wonderful AKO volunteer Stacey Moore took his place what a hero she only came out to wave at us and was not allowed to jump.

K PARACHUTING PETERBOROUGH

3. Did you think about changing your mind in the lead up to the jump?

Steven travelled up with me and was making me laugh. It helped as I was not thinking about the jump. In the lead up, getting sponsorship occupied my mind and it was exciting as funds came in, so it took my mind off the fact that I was going to be hurling towards the ground to raise the money.

4. Was there training involved?

It was professional. After a weigh-in and registration there was a bit of a wait and time to grab a coffee. Then there was a class with the lead instructor who was clear and concise, so he kept you at your ease. They were not going to let you fly unless you had understood the whole process.

Just before you got on the plane, they went over any questions and were just brilliant and made it fun too.

5. Were you scared getting on the plane and taking off?

It would be a lie if I said, “No!”

Just prior there were a herd of elephants doing a Zumba class in my tummy. For sure the egg sandwich from the café though delicious seemed like a very bad idea. But the team spirit and the instructors once we got on the plane made me feel calm and excited.

6. What was the jump like?

The first few seconds of the jump and free fall were a little scary. Imagine being in a tumble drier that is also a freezer. Kind of “What have I done?!”

Once those few seconds were over, I thought ‘Anna get a grip’, then I began to enjoy the whole experience and the beauty of the environment. It was exhilarating.

7. Were you relieved when you landed?

A little but so happy too that I had enjoyed the experience and immediately gave a short speech about the charity and our work.

8. What did your family and friends say about you doing the jump?

My son Patrick was worried and asked for reassurance I was not going to die or have a heart attack. I said we were in the safe hands of professional people who have been supporting the public for years who wanted to experience the skydive.

9. Would you do it again and how much did your raise?

Yes, I would love to do it again now I know what to expect! We were all so grateful to raise £3700. If you sponsored us, we really do appreciate it. We are only a small charity and every £1 counts.

10. How do people donate?

Online at www.annakennedyonline.com

Ever supportive Dawn Avery was on hand to lend a hand and support everyone .

Help sponsor us by contacting press Steven Smith spman@btinternet.com or lisa.robins@annakennedyonline.com

01895 540187

Tags Charity, Fundraiser, LGBTQIA, Mental Health, Skydiving

Culture Lifestyle

2Shades Big Night Out

Some of the team try “The Rising “ SE1 for a night out.

“What, a night out on a Saturday in London? Is that not just for tourists?!” This was my reaction when the 2Shades team suggested we let our hair down and party.

You can only get me out on a Saturday if it is a friend’s birthday, a wedding or some special occasion. The very idea of pushing through the crowds that descend on Soho and the likes fills me with dread. Favouring house parties or enjoying a few select friends over for dinner would be my choice at the weekend.

“Do not worry, leave it with me”, said 2Shades writer therapist Michael Power. “I will find somewhere different. Maybe drag brunch or somewhere new”. Telling him I had nothing to wear elicited the reaction, “Shut up!”

A few days later the 2Shades WhatsApp message with the venue flashed up. “The Rising” SE1. OK, that is Elephant and Castle. Sure, I go to Southwark Play House https://southwarkplayhouse.co.uk and it is not far from the tube. But let me be honest, it is not somewhere where (wrongly or rightly) partying springs to mind.

However, the web page looked interesting, you’re allowed to bring your dog (so ten points on that!) and they advertise cabaret. Mike rarely gets it wrong, liking to do his homework on everything from holidays to special occasions.

It was the first official 2Shades night out. The Rising is a five-minute walk (even in heels) from Elephant and Castle Tube, or 15 minutes bus ride from Canda Water. The bus stops right across the road by the Express Tesco’s and the Rising is almost opposite on Harper Road.

We should have of checked we where not wearing the same T-Shirts

Upon arrival it was hard to believe my eyes. Not just how stunning Adishiri, 2Shades Queen and Editor, and Mike were looking, but the vibe of The Rising. There was kind of a New York Village, Fort Lauderdale feel to it. Lots of outdoor seating and a friendly atmosphere.

A huge star was the wonderful security guard on hand, George. He is fully trained and unlike many gay venues when you’re greeted by someone who is as cold as the “ice bucket challenge”, George is gay, and blended a warm but no-nonsense approach to taking care of everyone.

Despite the football being on (this added a bit of camp to the evening), immediately we started to relax and enjoy ourselves. The bar staff are eclectic and very friendly and provide a great array of wines and beers plus some lethal cocktails and shots. There is no food, but you are welcome to order in or bring your own and they will provide cutlery.

@adishrichengappa with Ella Gant Drag Royalty

No sooner than the football was over, it seemed half the crowd emptied out. It filled back up over the course of the evening. Football was replaced by live entertainment in the form of Drag Queen super star Ella Gant. Now Ella is a star performer you would pay to see. The Rising had laid her on for free.

Ella apologised at the start of the show she had not been well; her voice was not at its vocal best. Well, what a show Ella put on! She had us singing and dancing along for over and hour and if that was her voice when she was not at her finest, we all can’t wait to go back and see her full strength as we had an evening to remember

The Rising might just be the best LGBTQQA bar we have been to in a while; it is really diverse and exciting, and you do not have to fight through the West End to get to it. It is just perfect for a group of friends to enjoy or even go on your own. Please try The Rising and see for yourself.

The Rising https://www.therisingse1.com

98 Harper Road

London

SE1 6AQ

020 3885 0990

hello@TheRisingSE1.com

Tags LGBTQIA, London, queer, Review, reviews, Theatre

Culture

ALL RISE FOR FLUX

FLUX WHERE EXCEPTIONAL ART COMES TOGETHER UNDER ONE ROOF

From Thursday the 25th of July to Sunday the 28th of July

GUIDED BY THE QUEEN OF CULTURE LADY LISA GRAY https://www.fluxexhibition.com/flux-exhibitions/

Flux opens with a bang international artists Lisa Izquirado shows her work to moving art celebrity drag queens Liquorice Black , Anna Phylactic .

Steven meets one of the leading lights of THE FLUX exhibition Lisa Izquirado .

“The true strength of a woman is our ability to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.”

Lilli – artist

Even without meeting an artist, a great artist’s work talks to you. For me, I walk in and am almost immediately hypnotised by the story or emotion they are transferring to canvas. Sometimes I can even feel their pain or trauma running through my veins for a moment, as well as the joy and happiness.

A devotee of S and M, Francis Bacon´s brilliant work can never be copied. Not just because of the magnitude of skill, but also due to the parts of Bacon´s often tortured soul that he liberally poured into his work. I remember his sold out exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. A news anchor interviewed various attendees about Bacon’s work, among them a psychologist who commented, “I would love to have had a chance to counsel him!” I could not have laughed harder and wanted to retort “Really my dear, he would have wiped the floor with you”.

It is what makes Frida Kahlo so unique too, not just the skill, but you can feel her energy and fight for life through her work; you just cannot tear your eyes away. It is almost a shame she has become a fashionable artist associated with style. Her story is so much more powerful than anything linked to fashion. But in the same breath it has to be said (thanks to Madonna and others) it has brought Kahlo´s work to the masses and encouraged many who may not have sat at the art table before to explore what it has to offer.

I am always on the lookout for exciting new artists . There is no better place than to take yourself to one of The FLUX Exhibitions https://www.fluxexhibition.com/flux-exhibitions/ created by Lisa Gray her presence commands great art to surround her there is something for everyone’s taste and these events are well worth looking out for

With Lisa Gray creator of FLUX magazine and Exhibition.

My personal favourite that stood out was by an artist called Lilli. Full name Lisa Lilli Izquierdo. Knowing my art, I was not surprised that the Cheshire born former model

was also showing in New York and Madrid. There is something about her work that is almost haunting. To be frank, on first impressions I almost felt it was a little too commercial for my tastes and saw it as an inferior designer´s dream, with pieces sought in Dubai, Cyprus and USA for its stylish quality. But first impressions can be wrong and the more I delved into Lilli´s work, the more it spoke to me. There is however a story that makes her work so much more valuable and sitting down with her confirmed just that.

Do you remember the very first thing you ever drew as a child?

I have always been creative. My sister was the academic, so my mum encouraged my artistic side. My earliest memory of creating art was when I was three years old. I drew a picture of two flowers. I coloured them with different colour crayons. The teacher told me off as I had used the same colour in each flower. Looking back, I use a lot of monochrome in my work.

It makes me giggle that I got scolded for.

What other artists have inspired you?

Oh, without a doubt Monet. I can see his use of texture has a huge influence on me as a grown artist. I draw a lot of energy from other artists, and I can appreciate those that depict suffering or hurt. But when it comes to my personal taste, Monet´s calmness and beauty

fill me with a beautiful energy,

What demographic does your art appeal to?

A lot of women buy my art. From an early age I have been fascinated by the female form.

I used to draw a lot of elfin kind of women. There is something I think women see – the beauty of the female form in my art – and relate to it. Being pushed to look a certain way as model was not healthy and I am careful to depict woman as real now, not nymph like.

Music seems to play a part in art. Who are your favourite musicians? What does sound bring to your art?

Honestly a huge influence and my tastes are so diverse. As soon as I am in the studio

I pop the headphones on, and I am blasting Mozart or Snoop Dog. Vivaldi’s four seasons

is one of my favourites.

How do you feel about the growing trend of crypto art, and is it something you would consider?

Steven I am so badly informed about the trend it is hard for me to comment; I am not sure how it would transfer with the high amount of texturing in my art. I realise that the world moves on and I will keep an eye on it, but I took bitcoins for a print and that did not work out too well for me.

Lisa Shows in London at FLUX https://www.fluxexhibition.com/flux-exhibitions/

Your art is almost haunting in its affect. How much does it mirror your own life?

Very much so. My piece “The Kiss” may seem very abstract, but it is about the unity

of two people in love. It could be any two people. For me I have found love perhaps later in life, but I plan to marry next year.

I found great solace in my art; it has helped me heal from the modelling industry I entered at the age of 15. Eager to become a success I took off to Madrid on my own. However, it was not long until the dream became somewhat traumatic, as pressures to look a certain way and the sheer competitiveness at a young age began to take its toll on my mental health.

Eventually I had enough and turned to my family business of hairdressing. My father is from Valencia in Spain, He worked with the likes of Vidal Sassoon and Teasy Weasy. I found

using my skills as an artist, plus having lived a little more than most at an early age, gave me an empathetic ear for clients. I still do hairdressing now and combine my time between my art studio and the salon.

2Shades Steven Smith with artist Lisa https://www.fluxexhibition.com/flux-exhibitions/

If you could buy one piece of Art, what would it be?

Irises in Monet´s Garden. It personifies calmness with an almost heavenly feel. Those little purple flowers hit you with an amazing feel.

If you could invite four people to dinner, dead or alive, who would they be, and why?

Ricky Gervais. I just love him he is hysterical, and life should be about love and laugher.

My financé as he and Ricky would get on. Michelle Obama. I love a strong woman in any event and she is captivating. Someone like Elvis would shake things up!

What is your favourite city to spend a day in looking at art?

Madrid or Barcelona. When I was modelling, we used maps to get around then and the architecture just blew me away as does Barcelona.

What is the one common misconception about you?

That I am a bitch! I was working in a salon and some of the female hairdressers seemed off- hand. When I got chatting to one, she suddenly went, “You know you’re really nice. We all thought you were a bitch.” God, talk about putting people in boxes. There is also the idea that I am super confident. If people knew the real me, I am quite shy. Do not get me wrong, I am a strong woman when I need to be.

What is the one thing you would like to change about the UK if you were prime minster for a day?

The homeless problem. It has become truly shocking in the UK, not just London, but all over.

We are a civilised country, yet we have way too many people sleeping on the streets.

What is the next project we can expect from you?

It takes around 80 hours to create each piece. I am going to be spending more time in the studio over the coming year, working on a new collection.

https://lisa-lili-izquierdo.com/about

Tags art, artist, exhibition, exhibitions, LGBTQIA, painting