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Heidi is back, and she’s here to help you get through and enjoy the holiday period.

Heidi is back, and she’s here to help you get through and enjoy the holiday period.Hear her on Gateway Radio on the Aston Avery Show and on YouTube.Please write to her at 2Shades: spman@btinternet.com if you have a problem.Heidi can only answer so many, but she will try her best. Heidi is back, and she’s here to help you get through and enjoy the holiday period.spman@btinternet.com if you have a problem.Heidi can only answer so many, but she will try her best.

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us#:~:text=To%20accommodate%20the%20varied%20needs,face%2C%20zoom%20or%20telephone%20sessions.&text=Heidi%20Gammon%20is%20a%20qualified,and%20Psychodynamic%20theories%20and%20CBT.

Dear Heidi
Hope you are well. My son is coming with his girlfriend for Christmas. She is a lovely girl, but she’s not really my kind of person — though she makes my son happy. Lunch is going to be a problem: she is vegan and we are all meat eaters. Making it worse, she talks about animal cruelty while we’re eating. Now my son has decided he’s vegan too. I will make a nut roast and vegetables for them, but is it acceptable to tell them I don’t want to hear about animals and cruelty while we eat?
Diana, Uxbridge

Heidi replies:
You’re being considerate by preparing vegan options, and it’s perfectly reasonable to set boundaries at the table. Explain kindly that you respect their choices, but mealtimes need to stay pleasant for everyone. A gentle, “Let’s save the debate for later,” is enough. Mutual respect works both ways. Maybe try having a coffee with her before Christmas, go over the menu, and then explain your boundaries so it doesn’t become a big issue on the day.

Dear Heidi
My boyfriend and I like to party and occasionally take drugs. I feel it’s under control on my end — high days and low days, that kind of thing — but I am a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas. He wants to invite two friends over and seems more interested in getting drugs in for after lunch than the food or the day itself. What can I do? I want a white Christmas — not that kind of white one.
Mike, Bournemouth

Heidi replies:
You deserve a Christmas that feels safe and joyful. Tell your boyfriend clearly that you want a drug-free day and that you aren’t comfortable hosting a gathering that revolves around substances. If he can’t respect that boundary, it’s a sign something needs addressing in the relationship — and perhaps in your habits as a couple. A peaceful Christmas requires mutual respect. Any regular drug use is not only illegal but a sign of addiction; once it’s in your life, it has a habit of resurfacing.

Dear Heidi
Can you please help me? My mother is a total control freak and she runs Christmas like a military operation. This year I want to go to my friends’ in Cornwall. I am 19, at college, and have a part-time job. How do I break the news? I hinted at the idea and she brushed it off. How do I tell her?
Malcolm, Newcastle

Heidi replies:
You’re an adult now, and part of growing up is making your own plans. Be direct, calm and kind: “Mum, I love Christmas here, but this year I’m spending it with friends.” She may protest, but stick to your decision. Set the boundary with respect, not guilt, and give her time to adjust. The sooner you tell her, the better — and be aware she may not stop being controlling, so learning to stand firm now will help.

Dear Heidi
Please help. We are going to my fiancé’s for Christmas. His mum is nice, but his dad is awful — he constantly makes crude comments and flirts with me when no one is looking. What can I do? Do I tell my fiancé or just put up with it since we don’t go that often?
Tiffany, Leeds

Heidi replies:
You should not put up with inappropriate behaviour, no matter how infrequent the visits. Tell your fiancé privately and calmly what has been happening. He needs to know, and the two of you can decide together how to handle it — whether that’s him speaking to his father or setting clearer boundaries. You deserve to feel safe and respected.

Dear Heidi
I am going home for Christmas. This summer I came out at university. My parents are religious and it is going to be a shock to them. Should I go down sooner to tell them? I don’t want to ruin Christmas.
Paul, Cardiff

Heidi replies:
If you feel emotionally ready, telling them before Christmas may ease some of the pressure on the day itself. It gives them time to process without the intensity and expectations of the holiday. Choose a calm moment, be honest, and remember: their reaction is about their adjustment, not your worth. You deserve to be loved and accepted as you are.

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us#:~:text=To%20accommodate%20the%20varied%20needs,face%2C%20zoom%20or%20telephone%20sessions.&text=Heidi%20Gammon%20is%20a%20qualified,and%20Psychodynamic%20theories%20and%20CBT.

Steven Smith.'s avatar

By Steven Smith.

Steven Smith was born in Coatbridge in Scotland. He was brought up in Whitley Bay, before briefly moving to London. He then moved to the seaside town of Brighton, where he was first receiver recognition for his hairdressing skills. Steven moved to America for eight years, working in Beverly Hills, and on his return to London in the late 90s, rose to fame working in fashionable Knightsbridge. He has styled model Katie Price, actress Denise Welch, David Hasselhoff and the cast of Baywatch. Steven had his own column in The Sun newspaper advising on hair and beauty, and was a regular on the Lorraine Kelly show, transforming GMTV viewers into their favourite stars. He made over Lorraine herself, transforming her into movie legend, Elizabeth Taylor.

Steven has been a freelance writer for the last ten years, combining showbiz interviews and travel with his eye for styling. He has written two books: Powder Boy, looking at the dark side of showbiz, and an autobiography: It shouldn't happen to a hairdresser, offering a witty and sad look at his life. He is currently penning a third book to be titled Happy in Chennai.

He has a monthly column, Tales of a single middle-aged gay man that looks at not only the light side of gay life, but also darker aspects such as rape, addiction, and chem-sex. Steven also runs his own beauty/aesthetic blog and is a patron of Anna Kennedy online; a charity that not only supports the autism community but educates the public about those that live with autism.

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