Glitz and glamour gathered in London on Thursday night for the launch of the coffee table photo book, BOLD.
BOLD features pictures of women who have lost their hair—80 percent of them due to treatment for breast cancer.
The venue for the launch, The House of Keune by Bloom Salon, was impossible to miss; it stood out like a beacon of light. A hair salon might seem like an unusual choice to launch a book about being bald, but as an ex-hairdresser, I can say it was the perfect place.
Ten years ago, I was featured in My Left Boob, the story of my dear friend, actress and socialite Sally Farmiloe-Neville, who I shaved her head, styled wigs, and helped grow her hair back.
The BOLD photo book is a powerful project that captures the beauty and resilience of women who have experienced hair loss due to breast cancer treatment, alopecia, or other conditions. The collaboration between the Pink Ribbon Foundation and Caroline Sikkenk Photography highlights the strength and femininity of these women through stunning portraits, offering a new perspective on beauty beyond hair.
Many of the women featured in the book were present at the launch, with their hair now grown back. The room was electric with love, laughter, and tears.
The photo book, with its high-quality presentation and 192 pages of artistic images, serves as a tribute to the courage of the women who participated. It’s also a meaningful way to support the Pink Ribbon Foundation, as all profits from the book’s sales go towards the charity’s efforts. Pre-orders are available now, offering a chance to own a piece of this empowering project while contributing to a vital cause.
The evening began with a chance to explore the BOLD exhibition, stylishly displayed around the salon’s shampoo area. It was an exciting atmosphere with celebrities such as Wendy Turner Webster (Pet Rescue), Dr. Anna Kennedy OBE, celebrity artist Piluca, and comedian Sarah Mulindwa joining the guests.
The real stars of the night were revealed as the guests sat down to listen to a panel headed by Lisa Allen and Dutch photographer Caroline Sikkenk. Models Lauren Plumb, Tricia Bailey, and Anais Muczynski, all from the iconic photo collection Bald and Beautiful, shared their stories of battling cancer with courage and great humor. The audience laughed, cried, and found inspiration in their stories. There was a standing ovation when Tricia shared her vocal talents and sang Sweet Caroline.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when a tribute was paid to one of the amazing models who is sadly no longer with us. Sally Franklin passed away after a recurrence of breast cancer, but her brave and supportive family was present to share their love and memories of this incredible woman.
Sally Franklin
Lisa hopes to take the panel and show to Scotland next, and we at 2 Shades salute her, her team, and the incredible women of BOLD.
With allegations of sexual abuse against pop stars, actors and high-profile business people at an all-time high, Steven Smith looks back at his own experiences as a 16-year-old on the celebrity party circuit in the late 70s. He asks whether society at the time was just as much to blame for the exploitation of teenagers as those that are having the finger pointed at them.
It’s a Monday morning. I’m at Soho Gym in Covent Garden and I’m working out. My book It Shouldn’t Happen to a Hairdresserhas been out for a month now. It’s my autobiography and follows my journey from coming out at 16 to tending to the hair of the rich and famous around the world. Though now I work mainly in the media, I still keep my scissors handy.
The book has caused quite a stir and there’s been a lot of press. Many are asking who the pop star was that seduced me when I was 16.
Wanna buy it? Link at the bottom of this article.
I decline to answer. It was not something I wanted to talk about further, plus, having worked for the tabloids for over a decade, I knew exactly where that conversation would lead. Having been harmlessly misquoted in some of the papers (one claimed that I hung out with Madonna), I still knew that interviews were a road that needed to be trodden carefully.
My phone goes. It’s a lady agent friend of mine who has been quite supportive in promoting the book.
“Hello darling. I simply couldn’t put the book down, it’s marvellous.”
She goes on to ask how the book is doing and who could imagine how difficult Katie Price could be. We both laugh, but then we get to the reason for the call.
“Darling, who was that awful pop star that seduced an innocent 16-year-old you?”
Innocent! Back in the late 70s, 16 was more like 20. Now, it’s not something that I felt was integral to my life and I won’t be naming him. But it was important to my story in the book. The gist of the call is she thinks that I should chat with one of her clients, a gorgeous police officer called Dan Neal. It could be beneficial to us both – he had read the book and was branching into showbiz.
My agent friend had always been good to me, so I agreed. Almost immediately, Dan called. He was involved with the Jimmy Saville inquiry and was making quite a name for himself (he later went on to marry Rylan Clark). Charming and full of life. He said how much he had enjoyed the book. But then came the cough!
“The pop star who seduced you when you were sixteen, would you name him?”
“No”, I replied quickly.
Dan asked if he could hazard a guess. Judging by the tennis courts in my description, was it —– ? I had heard that they were after this particular person, and funnily enough, I had met him. And a more asexual but charming person you could not want to meet. (Although rumours of his early years hold that he was rampant – but not with young men.)
“No, it was not.”
He went on about his duty to uncover these people.
Cutting Dan off, I pointed out that I was not about to be induced to join a witch hunt. There was a big difference between boys and girls who had been groomed (or been downright taken advantage of) and the youths who attended parties and venues dressed like they were in their twenties, who were desperate to bag a pop star or anyone in the limelight. Back in the 70s, 16-years-olds were very independent, with some passing themselves off as 20-something.
Many of them only seem to have decided they were taken advantage of after the star has died or when they’re in their late 50’s, when many (I’ve found, having done research) have money problems.
In the late 70s no-one asked for ID or carried it. We grew up in an era when, as soon as you could carry a bag of newspapers, you had a job as a paperboy. I was working at ten.
Benny Hill chasing a woman dressed as a schoolgirl around the garden and Barbara Windsor being sexually harassed dressed as a nurse in the “Carry On” films was acceptable in comedy, and for many in the UK (and the US) it still is.
Your correspondent 40 years ago.
When I was 16 the club to go to was BANGS! On Tottenham Court Road on Monday nights, Donna Summer blasted from the speakers and we dressed to impress. We danced on the stage as the beautiful, gay, stylish and soon-to-be famous mingled in an electric atmosphere.
There was a whole group of lads and lasses aged 15-16 who lived for Monday night. It was not unusual to be approached, asked to come to other parties or asked out.
A young air steward invited me to a party one night. It was being held the following Sunday and he said that a car would be sent for me. He wouldn’t tell me whose home it was but said it would be great fun. He was very cute, and Sundays were boring.
I slipped out on the Sunday from my parents’ home and picked up the car at the end of the road, where the steward was waiting with the driver. As we reached the destination, I was stunned by what I saw – it was the most magnificent house, more of a mansion really, with fake butler and maid statues to greet you in the huge entrance hall. It was like nothing I had ever seen before.
We parked the car around the back of the house and went to meet our host on the tennis court. I was shocked when I saw who he was – he had played with one of my favourite bands when I was growing up and here he was, greeting me on his tennis court! He was down to earth and seemed genuinely interested in me. Before long we ended up in his disco, where the cocktails flowed. And so did some other things. Some of the other guests offered me cocaine and laughed when I refused.
Not changed a bit
“Hey, have you brought a good kid to the party?” they asked.
Nevertheless, one too many gin and tonics and as Dorothy Parker said, I ended up under the host. Still, it was a great day, and I went home with my host’s autograph. That was enough excitement for me.
As he brought me home, the steward suggested I might like to meet other friends of his and intimated that it could be quite profitable for me. But I was streetwise beyond my 16 years and said no, thanks.
So, I was somewhat surprised when I received a call from the star’s right-hand man asking me to come down again, which I did. I found myself liking the guy, who even played a song for me on his piano, across from his statues of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Really, I preferred T-Rex. He sent cars for me several times and we even watched a movie in his cinema room.
He only stopped sending for me after I told him that I’d mentioned the visits to my family. He almost passed out! After all, I was still only 16. This, despite me pointing out that I’d been in the theatre and it wouldn’t seem unusual that I was hanging out with the likes of him.
Still, much as his interest in me waned once he discovered that, he still invited me to the parties. They were great fun and he always got me home safely.
All these years later, though, whenever I smell Opium perfume, I think of him. The fragrance filled the bathrooms in his fabulous house and I even bought some for my mother that Christmas.
One of the most wonderful moments was when a famous pop manager held a boat party along the Thames for his birthday and Freddie Mercury and Kenny Everett were among the many celebrity guests. It was a dream come true and all I did was dance the afternoon away.
I was even hired briefly at the Embassy Club (in shorts).
With no age check.
Other parties were not so innocent. (Let’s not get started on the famous journalist with the three-way mirror whose parties hosted many a squaddie, some of whom went on to appear in the work of Mike Arlen (a gay photographer).
But I was lucky there was always an out. So, I never felt trapped or taken advantage of.
Of course, if I felt like playing victim I could rewrite this story in a different colour.
Many of the boys at the parties have passed on with HIV or disappeared. One or two I still bump into, and they talk of the good old times.
I’m sure that some may have regretted the follies of youth and even feel like they had been taken advantage of. But we can’t just blame the celebrities. The ’70s was a time that allowed freedom for the young and sexually promiscuous behaviour was rife.
Only when my nephew turned 16 I looked at his face. Suddenly it hit me how wrong the pop star and others were .
Luckily, we have ID now and people check. I feel great empathy with those that have been hurt. But regarding those who, in their teens, labelled themselves groupies, only to say many decades later they were victims, responsibility must lie with more than one party.
There is a difference between the casting couch, grooming – and dressing up, passing yourself off as older and consenting to things.
Steven Smith looks at the affect addiction has on us all, how it can be so prolific among the LGBTQ And celebrity community, the often-misguided views people have about those living with addiction, and of course shares his own tale.
November 26th, 2010, the phone rang with news I had been expecting—my lifelong friend Lester Middlehurst, the witty, Machiavellian, and brilliant journalist was dead at 55. He had been in coma for days after a suspected suicide attempt.
I know how I was supposed to feel to the world. But putting down the phone, there was complete numbness followed by anger, and then an overwhelming relief that the man who had formerly been my friend, but had in later years become my tormenter was no longer. No more waking to drunken abusive messages, or being the brunt of his jokes or outburst at parties, and I’d no longer have to apologise to other people for his behaviour towards them.
Lester in his prime
Lester Middlehurst was one of the first openly gay staff members at The Daily Mail. He was legendary. At the coroner’s inquest it turned out he had not killed himself, rather his death certificate said that he died of a hypoxic brain damage attack. Everyone agreed it was his addictive lifestyle that killed him.
Sadness
Lester was one the most addicted people that I have ever met, and he was my friend and I loved him. A month later I must have spent a day crying over him. The sadness was really that he never got help for his addiction, and you could say that my lack of knowledge of it prevented me from helping him…but that would be romanticising a terrible situation.
Back in 2009 I got him to agree to attend the Meadows Clinic in Arizona, but the next day he told me not to be so stupid. In truth, I did not feel strong enough to stand up to him. As my knowledge about addiction has grown, I have become more aware that there was nothing I could have done unless Lester had wanted to do anything about it.
According to the Centre of Addiction, members of the LGBTQ community are at greater risk of substance use and mental health issues compared to those identifying as heterosexual.
Members of the LGBTQ community face chronically high levels of stress, often due to having to suffer from social prejudice and discrimination. Fear, isolation, and depression increase the chances of self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. As a man that has lived a life in big cities, I have witnessed addiction in all classes and types of people. Addiction is a mistress that does not care who she dances with, yet the LGBTQ community are often her favourite partners.
As the self-confessed addict, actor Russell Brand explains that the distinction of any compulsive or addictive behaviour is when it begins to negatively impact on the rest of your life.
Compulsive
So, you might love chocolate so much that you’ll ignore all logical reasoning, “I have to have chocolate…I have to have chocolate…I don’t care what else happens”. If you’re crashing your car because of chocolate, that’s a problem.
According to Wikipedia, addiction is a brain disorder characterised by compulsive engagement in a rewarding stimulation despite adverse consequences.
Of course, addiction is certainly an illness and not a lifestyle choice, and if we are honest, addiction is in all of us in some way or another.
For me, I just can’t not buy a large French baguette, cut a few slices off, and put it back for later. I end up devouring the whole thing. Subsequently, I do not buy French baguettes unless I am feeling poorly. Whether it’s chocolate, coffee, or your favourite tipple, we all have cravings.
Russell Brand
Much as Russell Brand is right, there are so-called functioning addicts who you would not even realise are hooked on their drug of choice, and it can take many years for the effects to begin to show. Often referred to as “high functioning addicts” owing to their having powerful jobs or enough money to effectively hide their addiction from others. This knocks on the head the commonly presented image of an addict being down-and-out or living on the streets. According to the American Psychiatric Association, there is no such thing…they are all just addicts who have created coping mechanisms.
My father, God rest his soul, came home after holding down a high-powered job and drank whisky every day of his life, yet he would be horrified at the idea of being described as an addict. But when he left hospital after lung cancer removal surgery, he sat down and demanded, “Get me a whisky and a cigarette.” On the suggestion that was not a good idea and that he would end up back in hospital, he snapped “Are you threatening me?”
Growing up, I was told that an addict was someone who got up and drank first thing. Drinking after coming home from work and weekends was seen as normal for many in the 60s and through to the 90s. All of our soaps were featured around a pub, making alcohol look like a socially acceptable way of life.
I had a volatile relationship with my dad, but his fight with cancer gave me a better understanding of the nature of his addiction and where it had come from. He had been a talented jazz trumpeter and played with the BBC orchestra, but his nerves had come to the forefront and he started to self-medicate by having a few whiskies before his shows. Eventually, he gave up and started a family, but the drinking did not stop.
Charismatic
My father adored my best pal who also fights addiction, and is a truly remarkable human being who I was fortunate to love, and my dad did not like many people. The two were like two peas in a pod and talked for ages.
Spending time with my dad before he died made me wonder whether, if he had managed to overcome obvious anxiety and continued playing, perhaps he would have been happier. Of course, back then mental health was seen by many as a weakness and not to be spoken about.
My world has been filled with people who are addicts in one form or another. They are the most charismatic and amazing people and the arts are full of them. In my opinion, they all have one thing in common—they can snap and become almost frightening at the drop of a hat, and then suddenly they are wonderful and make you feel like you mean the world when they are OK. Sadly, during my childhood there was more of the former with my dad. Though I knew in the end that he loved me.
There are so many people living with addiction, anxiety, and mental health issues who are in denial. Even with all the help groups and open discussions there seems to be a quite a bit of stigma attached to it still.
Dr Pam Spurr, a popular self-help expert and radio television personality, says she often encounters people who are in denial about their issues that are the source of their addiction problems. They say things like “I just have a little problem with confidence” which ignores the fact that they drink excessively to help make them feel more confident. Or they say, “I only drink after work to take the edge off.” But when they count up the units, they are far in excess of government guidelines. It’s at times like these that I encourage them to think honestly about their drinking (or drug taking) and consider expert advice.
Many addicts get clean either by joining the 12-step programme, by checking into rehab, or by seeking counselling. The journey of recovery can be different and what works for one person might not work for another person. It is important to point out that as much as the newspapers show pictures of celebrities dashing off to glamorous-looking rehabs, getting into a state-run rehab in the UK can be very difficult for mere mortals.
While helping a friend who was using OxyContin (a pain killer) and had got into a mess from ordering online and then become addicted, the general health services did not want to know. Even going through other channels, she was advised that her chances of getting into rehab were slim, although she did come away from it with a strong network of friends around her.
A beautiful girlfriend of mine found her sobriety in a man as her anchor who was also living with addiction. They have both been clean for seven years now.
Living in LA, the 12 steppers (12 step programme) were like the mafia, and rumour had it that all the best movie deals were done at their meetings and also that many there did not have addiction issues and instead just wanted to pitch ideas.
There is no doubt that the 12-step programme helps many, and even if the meetings can become the new addiction it’s a healthy one.
I agree with Doctor Pam that it is amazing how much of a lack of understanding there is about addiction.
Cake
My gorgeous bubbly friend Monica is originally from California. She is a super bright academic having gone to Yale, lectured all over the world, and she also ran a school for a while.
Yet three years ago she decided to open an up-market catering company as her award-winning chef sister is a goddess in the business. People actually beg for invites to try her canapés.
Lunch with Monica is always fun—it starts off with “Darling shall we share a cake after?” Despite being gorgeous, she is always on some kind of diet. Her little addiction would be cake.
Like one or two other intellectuals I have met with qualifications coming out of every orifice, their life skills sometimes leave me speechless. Despite having a gay brother, she once commented on a photo shoot involving five men I had directed “Is the man with his foot up against the wall a sign he is gay?” I replied “No darling, there are no secret signs; it’s a James Dean inspired clothing shoot.” She just smiled and continued eating.
Today, however, she was on the warpath. She was catering for a big party we had worked on together to get celebrities at. One of the celebs had behaved inappropriately to some of the other guests and to a couple of waitresses.
She was not amused when I laughed, “Well darling, at least he did not get his cock out and try and pee in the champagne fountain like at my other friend’s launch. How that did not end up in the papers is beyond me.” I got the school ma’am look.
He was living with addiction – not surprising considering his childhood trauma and the abuse he lived with. He really should not have been drinking. I am not excusing him, but it’s not the end of the world that I did not invite him to the next few. I said that I’d have a word. Her eyes got wider, and she seemed shocked that I had empathy with the celebrity at all. She wanted him banned for life.
Taboo
As much as I have some reservations about the 12-step programme, saying you’re sorry to those you may have hurt is not easy to do, but it sometimes isn’t enough. I started talking about addiction, and a few minutes in it was clear that it was going nowhere, even though I was sharing this with someone highly intelligent.
Addiction remains a taboo subject. There are so many people in denial and as much as the newspapers are full of celebrity headlines about them being addicted, most of us don’t want to talk about it or feel labelled by it.
A year ago my phone rang—it was a friend who had come out of family day at a rehab centre that her daughter was attending. She was fuming that they suggested that it may run in the family, “They had better not be blaming this on me. I have no addiction.” She was not amused when I laughed “It’s not about you and I will remind you of that next time you refuse to come home from the bar or spend two weeks obsessing about something.”
Outside those who are counsellors, therapists, and those who talk openly about their addiction and some of their loved ones, I have found very few people who understand those living with addiction.
A very wise woman, author, presenter, and journalist, Jane Moore was one person who seemed to understand it. Lester and Jane were great friends and the two together were hysterical. Yet Lester had gone on a tirade about her and I was mortified since she was a true loyal friend to him, and he was starting to run out of friends due to his behaviour.
Lester Middlehurst and Jane Moore
While ringing her and offering full apologies asking her not to fall out with him, she calmly said, “I could never be offended by Lester. He is hurting too much, but he’s lucky to have a friend in you.”
At the time I just thought, but I wish if I had taken those words more to heart I might not have taken his behaviour personally and got as hurt as I did in the end. It helped later in life as I saw the pain addiction brings too.
The LGBTQ community have learnt to talk more as we have needed to be heard to survive. Most surveys say that a larger proportion of those identifying drug and alcohol use as a coping mechanism are LGBTQ, but I beg to differ.
I have sat in many restaurants and bars in London watching the city boys and their entourage go back and forth to the toilets, passing each other along the way. I am pretty sure they are not the kind found in the survey.
Addiction is a worldwide human crisis according to the World Drug Report. Unless we start talking about it, spotting the signs at an early age, and treating it as an illness, many will die with all the new and powerful drugs flooding the market. Whole towns have been wiped out in the US due to drug addiction.
Chemsex is the consumption of drugs to facilitate sexual activity. Both terms refer to a subculture of recreational drug users who engage in high-risk sexual activities under the influence of drugs within groups. Chemsex parties are said to be prolific on the London gay scene, but that is a different story. Not wanting to be righteous, I have no experience of it or want to engage in it. Recent reports in the gay press say chemsex parties are held across UK, but there is a correlation between addiction and sex shame.
The perfect storm
Sadly no longer with us David Stewart of 56 Dean Street, an award-winning HIV and sexual health clinic in the heart of London, explains that this trend is driven by a convergence of factors: “Vulnerable gay men with issues around sex, new drugs that tapped into that problem and changing technology. What they call the perfect storm.”
There was enough of a problem for the government to lay out guidelines in 2017.
Actress Danielle Westbrook, who I have interviewed many a time, put it simply to me, “Look Steve, you get ten people at a party and they all try coke for the first time. Four never try it again, four have it once in a blue moon, and two poor things are addicted six months later.”
The answer would be to never take the risk, but human nature is never that simple.
My friend Lester will never come back but it led me to have so much more of an understanding of addiction and how to protect myself around addiction. Many of the world’s beautiful people are soldiers fighting addiction every day of their lives.
Why I am with Esther Rantzen when it comes to euthanasia being allowed in the UK
Inspirational Esther Rantzen and the incredible Martin Annand
News of the controversial suicide pod being used for the first time in Switzerland really caught my attention. The device allows the person in it to take their own life by pressing a button. The concern, even in Switzerland where euthanasia is legal, is that the pod functions without medical assistance.
It also triggered a memory of when I was asked to take a friend to Switzerland, and I nearly did…
It was a beautiful sunny day and my former partner, of twenty years and friend for twenty more Martin Annand and I were sitting in the leafy London Garden opposite where he lived.
He squeezed my hand and said,
“Steven, please take me to Switzerland, let’s arrange it today.”
The wonderful Martin Annand RIP 20th Of February 1944 – 9th of August 2021
We had been up most of the night. Martin had been in agony; he was terminally ill with cancer that had moved into the spine. He had sailed through hormone treatment and apart from the odd hiccup, chemotherapy had been giving us hope that a miracle would happen or at least extended his life, but we had had some bad news, and the chemotherapy had stopped working. He had moved on to radiotherapy and that was a whole new ball game. The illness was turning him quickly into a shell of himself.
Coming soon.
Helping was a battle as his new partner was unreasonable, a bully and often hysterical. I was up against people who were all “experts. A distant relative thought running a ball up and down his spine and getting him to exercise was good, but would not look at the actual fact that it was the worst thing you could do for cancer in the spine.
All through his illness I was absolutely determined to stay stoic and a rock, not the hysterical mess I was in private. Too often I have seen people make their friend or partner’s illness be about them, with the poor soul consoling them. Now his current partner had taken two weeks holiday and reluctantly left me to look after him. It was an ideal time to take Martin to Switzerland.
However, it was hard at this point to hold back the tears.
“Is that what you really want?” I asked him.
He had clearly done his homework and knew the price and exactly where to go. Pulling myself together and looking into his beautiful blue eyes I promised I would if he just gave it one more week. The doctors had said at the Royal Brompton that the night burns were quite a common side effect that should pass.
Holding him in the shower and as he lay shaking in bed, I would have done anything to ease his pain. Assurances that this phase would pass, and that the treatment would allow him more time encouraged us to push on.
To this day I am so sorry that I did not take him whilst he could still get on a plane. The horror that he endured no human being should go through. Why do we let a dog in distress die in dignity, yet our loves ones have to suffer? The religious right will tell you It is not God’s wish. Some God if he wants us to suffer.
“Suffer to come unto me “. Well, I cannot make sense of that. It is time to allow those with no hope of living without excruciating pain to die on their own terms.
By the second week it was too painful for Martin to travel in a taxi let alone fly. Then the current partner arrived back, and all was lost on the idea of euthanasia.
When there really is no hope, it is time to be kind and allow the terminally sick some release. Next time someone I love asks me, I’ll do it on the spot. I truly hope that if I were in that much pain with no chance of recovery that someone would do the same for me.
Me with Martin Annand a man who lived life to its full
If there is one thing that bemuses me it’s being put in a box because of my sexuality.
As a gay man I have heard it all over the years, including the presumption that I must be filled with excitement that Kylie is touring next year. No! I honestly would not cross the road to watch her, and I find “Padam Padam” one of the most irritating songs of all time.
Sure, she has a huge gay following. I remember two gay men jumping with excitement in the changing room of the gym exclaiming, “Oh my God we are seeing Kyle tonight, she’s such a survivor! ” And that was before the breast cancer. I have heard she is a lovely person, but she’s just not my taste in music.
Later at the Troubadour café the waiter enquired if me and my partner were going to see Kylie. After replying definitely not, he smiled and said, “Good to hear it, have a drink on me!”
Sure, I like Madonna; she is a true artist. Now Bowie, Lou Reed, Nina Simon or a night at the Royal Opera are my tastes in music.
What I am excited about is Oasis coming back. Liam Gallagher is brightly funny and a night out with him would be way up on my list rather than the gay Divas of music. Oasis marks an era, and a generation of people want to celebrate the band and re- live that experience for just for one night.
Their music is original, and they are a dying breed of rock star. The Manchester lads may not be the wild boys of the past, but every time Liam pops up on a show, he makes me laugh and he is by far a much better interview than most.
That’s what entertainment is all about. My friend Pam I know not to dare ring during the football or come to that rugby, cricket, darts season, tiddlywinks… If for a moment music, sport or something else can transport you to a happy place or bring a beautiful memory back to life for you, then whatever gives you that enjoyment is your business.
I, of course, respect everyone who can’t get Kylie “out of their head”, but come on, Liam and Noel are really something to get excited about.
Yes, it is that time of year again so please come see me and 2shades columnist Dr Anna Kennedy OBE on 12th October at the Mermaid theatre. Gateways Radio Aston Avery will be one of the main presenters introducing some incredible acts.
This star-studded spectacular show will showcase amazingly talented performances by adults and children with autism. The performers, which consist of singers, actors, musicians, magicians, poets and dance troupes, will fly the flag for autism and show what people with autism are capable of. Autism’s Got Talent provides a platform and fantastic opportunity to replace negative aspects with hope, fun, laughter and inclusion. This showcase is unique to any other project across the world.
Most of the acts have springboarded into exclusive opportunities. The audience feels a rare emotion of hope and belonging, part of a unique network, and understanding that anything is possible. Every year promises a showcase of a wide variety of performers. In previous years, there has been a stand-up performer, harpist, rapper, young author, acclaimed ballet dancer, opera singer.
Presenting this year Aston Avery Gateway radio host .
The concept of Autism’s Got Talent is based solely on inclusion, and there needs to be more, which is why we have started roadshows. Autism’s Got Talent is an annual event that grows in popularity each year and has firmly cemented its status as a leading charity and autism event.
Dr Anna Kennedy OBE and me .
Supported in the past by celebrities including Kacey Ainsworth, Richard Mylan, Dame Esther Rantzen, Carrie and David Grant, Debbie Moore OBE, the late Ian Royce, Dr Pam Spurr, Mitch Winehouse, Loose Women Star Denise Welch, Caprice, Luke Friend, Tony Discipline (BBC Eastenders), and Emma Noble.
I went to a Catholic school in the Northeast. Little did I know my husband Sean also was at the same school. Primary School were good and bad days for me and I enjoyed some lessons not all. Many of the nuns at the school were too strict and would not get away with caning across your knuckles or hand for talking too much!
If you happen to be late for school, you had to stand under the crucifix for 30 minutes at the end of the day and pray.
We were often also given many lines to write if no one owned up for example: A pupil threw a rubber at the Maths teacher whilst he was writing on the blackboard. I remember we had to write 100 times ‘Rubbers rub they do not fly!’
Dear Anna.
Please, I am at the end of the line with my 14 year old son. He was expelled last year for being disruptive in class. Now the school have written to me and said he cannot come back. James was diagnosed with Autism and attention disorder at 13. What can I do? Is there a right to appeal or should I find a school that is more suited to his needs? James is super bright and was in line to take exams
Many thanks Diana Waterford
Dear Diana,
Thank you for your email. You do have the right to challenge your son’s exclusion, and the school should have informed you of this process when the exclusion occurred. The following government guidance may be helpful, if your son attended a maintained school or an Academy:
If you believe your son was excluded due to a disability-related reason, you can separately make a claim of disability discrimination to the First-tier Tribunal before the school process concludes.
If the Tribunal rules in your favour, it can order actions that put your son in the position he would have been in if the discrimination hadn’t occurred, which could include reinstating him in the school.
Lastly, it’s important to ensure that all your son’s special educational needs are identified and met. If you haven’t done so already, you may want to apply for an Education, Health and Care (EHC) needs assessment.
This is the first step towards securing an EHC Plan (EHCP). The test for starting this assessment is whether your son may need a level of special educational provision that is only available through an EHCP. Given what you have said, this may possibly be the case.
Dear Anna,
Hello love the column. My daughter lives with Autism, and she is a great singer and just so loveable. My ex-husband won’t hear about it and said I am indulging her and encouraging her to be different. I am looking for a school that caters to her needs even its a private school or theatre My parents are happy to. pay. My ex is trying to block it and threatening to take me back to court if I remove her from her present school that I do not feel caters to her needs. What can I do?
All my best Stephany Wimbledon
Dear Stephany,
Thank you for reaching out and for your kind words about the column. I spoke to my husband Sean who supports the charity, and this is his area of expertise. It does sounds like you’re in a difficult situation.
My husband Sean shares:
Sean Kennedy
If your daughter has an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP), section 51 of the Children and Families Act 2014 gives you the right to challenge any part of the EHCP, including the school placement, even though a Tribunal if necessary.
This right cannot be interfered with by other courts. While your ex-husband is entitled to express his views to the Tribunal, he cannot prevent you from exercising this right. However, your daughter’s opinions will also carry weight, particularly depending on her age and if she has capacity.
It is certainly an unfortunate situation. If your ex-husband is threatening to take this matter to the Family Courts and your daughter does not currently have an EHCP, I would strongly advise seeking legal advice from a family law specialist.
We both wish you all the best in navigating this,
Best Wishes, Anna
Dear Anna,
I am a big fan of yours and have been living all my life with various issues, it was my 16th birthday last week my mum held a party and I am not real social so I found it embarrassing and in the end it was more about her. She even got drunk and went on and on about how proud she is of me- even with all my little ways. There was about five of my friends from school there with the rest of the mums. Anna I just want to leave home and get away from her. What should I tell her and is there any organisations that helps kids like me escape?
Blair Luton
Dear Blair,
Thank you for reaching out and Happy 16th Birthday. Have you spoken to your mum about how you feel? Is there a relative that you can confide in about how you are feeling?
Parenting an autistic teen can be challenging for parents, so it’s important to seek support from other parents, support groups, or professionals who specialise in autism.
Are there any local support groups near to where you live? Leaving home is a huge step and you need to be well prepared and safe as a vulnerable young person. I hope things improve for you very soon and your relationship with your mum also improves.
Sending best wishes, Anna
Has the interview selection for Colleges and Universities changes to aid those diagnosed on the autism spectrum?
Colleges and universities are required to comply with the Equality Act 2010. This means that if an individual with a statutory disability faces disadvantages during the interview process due to the effects of their disability, the institution must take reasonable steps to avoid these disadvantages.
For clarity, a statutory disability is defined in section 6, the Equality Act 2010. This section defines disability as a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on a person’s ability to perform normal day-to-day activities. To qualify, the impairment must significantly impact the individual’s ability to carry out activities that are considered normal for most people (including work and university study) and must have lasted, or be expected to last, at least 12 months.
It is important to note that conditions such as ADHD and ASD are not automatically classified as statutory disabilities, though they may be. The key consideration is how these conditions impact the individual. It follows that what are known as reasonable adjustments are specific to the individual. Importantly the university or college needs to be informed of any impairments before the section process.
While universities and colleges are not required to lower the competency levels expected of students, they must provide adjustments to the interview process where necessary.
There is a lot more to the Equality Act, but I trust this provides a useful overview and is, my husband has confirmed, is accurate.
As the singer Kelis would say, “Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”. One thing that will always bring many howling to the yard is a man with facial hair or, at the very least, that five o’clock shadow. From Prince William to David Beckham the “Beard ‘is in
In the late 70’s, the clones with their check shirts and ’taches emulated what many gay men saw as the ultimate heterosexual man with Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds the undisputed poster boys. And let’s not forget the fantasy images of Tom of Finland.
Image: Tom of Finland foundation
In my experience, much as the clones looked “hot”, what was on the lid was often not what was in the can. Many were hiding their dislike of their own sexuality by playing it pseudo straight, something that was compounded when, in New York in the 80s, I was outside the Munster Bar and a friend advised me, “Babe: if you get into any trouble scream for the drag queens. They will come running. The clones will just go hollering back into the bar.”
Freddie Mercury brought the clone ’tache look back to life for Queen’s third studio album, “The Game” – a trend many said was inspired by the San Francisco gay clubs. The look was prevalent in London at Heaven, the Coleherne and the Earl’s Court Catacombs. Freddie is actually quoted as saying that when he looked back on all that black nail varnish, chiffon and satin, he thought, “God, what was I doing?”
The much-missed Freddie Mercury.
I recall having lunch with the late, amazing Kenny Everett and the Daily Mail journalist Lester Middlehurst in early 90s Los Angeles, when I couldn’t help but notice that both men had moustaches. Kenny was delightful and so very sweet. Still, he commented that I should really grow a ’tache. Men without them simply looked like women to him.
My partner of 18 years had a sexy ’tache, and his hair was standing up on the crown where someone had cut it too short, when I first spotted him. Devilishly handsome, I loved his ’tache. Although I’ve always remained smooth faced, I guess I always went with the theory that opposites attract. It just did not feel right to me if I missed even one day with the razor.
Movember, the well-known charity, was behind my only attempt to grow a ’tache. One week in and friends kept asking if I had not washed. Two weeks on and it was starting to show, and though not impressive, it was there. A beautician friend of mine offered to get rid of a few nose hairs.
During the action she waxed half my newly sprouted moustache off. I let out a little shriek of horror. “WHERE’S MY MOUSTACHE GONE?”
“Is that what that was?” came the reply.
It seems that 2020 saw an explosion of male facial hair adorning our screens. My favourite actor, Colin Farrell, makes me go weak at the knees with his Irish accent and ’tache. Eurovision, though cancelled, gave us the Russian band “Little Big”. Joining them from the gypsy Russian band “The Hatters” was Yuriy Muzychenko.
Yuriy – “Little Big”.
Yuriy, with his many stages of facial hair, is sex on legs, as well as being uber-talented. Since “Little Big” seem to embrace the ’tache so easily, it’s a pity their stance on LGBTQ issues seems a little questionable. Tom Hardy and Jake Gyllenhaal are wearing the beard this season and it looks (as Americans would say) totally awesome on them.
Colin Farrell. Phwoarrr.
Graham Martin, one of London’s premier LGBTQ photographers, has seen an explosion of his clients sporting facial hair. Graham, who himself wears a distinguished silver-fox goatee, tells me that half his male clientele have some sort of ’tache or beard, compared to around one in ten just five years ago. Designer stubble started sneaking in, and the odd ’tache. The demand for the more rough-and-rugged look started pushing ahead of the usually popular twink or surfer look.
Your correspondent with Graham Martin.
It could be that the gay scene is evolving. When I first came out in the late 70s, I was told at the tender age of 16 to have fun as “you’re washed up by 25”. Nasty lies fed to me by the chicken-hawks, as they were called back then.
At one point during the groundbreaking (and sure to win every award going) “It’s a Sin”, written by Russell T Davies, two of the characters are chatting. Curtis tells Richie he slept with a man who was 36; both express their disgust. Arguably the gay scene has always been youth obsessed, with a tendency towards the Dorian Gray complex.
Still, change certainly has come upon us. The Daddies, Silver Fox and The Bear, Wolf and Well-Over-40 seem to be the new in. One Silver-Haired Daddy who is in his sixties, wearing a ’tache and beard, says he is inundated with young men wanting to meet, as well as guys his own age. All seem to love the beard.
Michael Edde is a popular barber in London’s Earl’s Court with a large gay clientele. He has seen a huge increase in beards and ’taches.
Legendary barber Michael Deeds.
“The best way to get your beard looking good is to grow it for ten to fifteen days and have it professionally shaped”, says Michael. “Obviously during lockdown this is impossible. My recommendation is to use conditioner or beard oil, and you might try using Buddha clippers. Start with the highest gauge and work down till you get the shape you’re happy with. Many of my male clients love a beard.”
Being on my own during lockdown, I gave up shaving for a day or two and decided I quite liked the look. The second time around I had better luck, and my ’tache seemed to come through strongly this time. I had a little help from Watermans’ “GROWME” shampoo.
By week four, I had a beard and a ’tache for the first time in my 59 years.
Reactions were, erm, varied. Some people burst out laughing. Two girlfriends thought I looked like a Joe Swash tribute act. But for the most part, it went down very well. Graham Martin thought it was an attribute. My ex loved it, and even my sister thought it was cool. One thing that did stand out is the fact I am ginger, and much as I have hidden this since I was 18 by dyeing my hair blond, there was no way of hiding it with the beard. Maybe in my sixth decade, embracing my red-headed Scots heritage might not be a bad thing. It has certainly been fun trying it, and it may be here to stay.
Certainly now, I can say with conviction, “Who’s your Daddy?”
Steven Smith asks the question in these troubling times.
Is everyone a little bit racist?
In the wake of current events, “Tales of a single, middle-aged gay man” looks at the question, “Is everyone unintentionally a little racist?” Are we, as a society, guilty of labelling others just at a glance? Does our upbringing dictate our fear of others that might be perceived to be different from us? How can we move forward and make changes, so everyone is seen as equal?
These days, you cannot escape the “Black Lives Matter” slogan. It’s everywhere and it breaks my heart that we still have to hear those words. We think of ourselves as a civilised society and yet some of us still feel the need to proclaim that their lives have value. Even during the pandemic, crowds of people are taking to the streets begging to have their voices heard.
Strike at the root
Why in 2020 do people feel that their lives matter less, and why does anyone need reminding that a life matters? We all breathe the same air and wake up with similar hopes, dreams and stresses. Why should anyone feel that others think they or their very lives matter less? It is time to make sure that future generations never have to be reminded that a life matters. As with so many serious problems, you must strike at the root. Since no-one is actually born a racist, let’s teach children we are all the same.
A racist – someone who believes that other races are not as good as their own and therefore treats them unfairly, discriminating against other races, religions or others they perceive as a minority group.
Avenue Q
Five years ago, I was sitting in the hugely uncomfortable Noel Coward Theatre, wondering if the Marquis de Sade had designed the seats especially for people under 5’ 2” who hadn’t eaten anything in the previous year. Putting that aside, I am here to see one of my guilty pleasures, “Avenue Q”. It’s a kind of adult puppet show that has me in stitches every time. But there is one song in particular in the show that makes me a little uncomfortable: “Everyone is a little racist”. Princeton Puppet asks Kate Monster, “You’re a monster, right, so are you related to Tricky Monster, my neighbour?” Horrified, Kate tells him she finds that racist. Princeton goes on to point out some of her racist qualities, and they burst into song.
Avenue Q.
“Everyone is a little bit racist at times.” Now, I’m sure many people reading this will be thinking to themselves – I may not be perfect, but racist is one thing I’m not.
That’s exactly what I thought as I left the theatre “Do not put me in that category.” At the same time, Kate Monster’s indignant reaction touched a nerve with me. You wouldn’t believe the number of times in my life I’ve been asked if I know a certain gay person, just because I’m gay too.
The gay book
One woman at a wedding party in Guernsey charged up to me and before formal introductions could be made, blurted out, “I hear you’re gay! David from EastEnders is gay, do you know him?” My reply was, “No, but I’ll look him up in the gay book.” Her eyes widened with excitement. “There’s a book?” I assured her there was (she did not get irony), and off she popped to tell her friends, who seemed to find me of great interest because of my sexuality. Was it ignorance, racism, homophobia or just misguided? Either way, it did not make me feel very comfortable and I kept an eye out to make sure a wicker man was not being built in the town square that weekend.
Yes, as members of the human race most people can be racist, many unintentionally, even if it is just a little bit. This topic is close to my heart for personal reasons, which is why I’ve hesitated to comment until now. Take my beautiful best friend of ten years, Dee. Her amazing personality and talent were what hit me first, not the colour of her skin.
My eyes go to the heavens when I hear, “This is my gay friend.” My friends are not categorised by skin colour, sexuality or religious belief, but by who they are as people – their loyalty, personality and kindness. This is what I see as a human being.
The N word
Colour only comes into play when a friend shares with me (for instance) that when she was a little girl, she had a friend who was white and who loved to play outside with her. One day she rushed to meet her, and the girl told her that her mum had said she could not play with her anymore, as she was a n—–. My friend rushed home in tears and told her mum what had happened. Her mother replied that sometimes in this world people are not very nice. As my friend recounted this story, I could see – from her eyes, her body language – that it had left a lifelong scar.
How do we fix this, so no child feels discriminated against? Taking to the streets in a peaceful, safe protest is one way. But let’s not get into a mob mentality, or the agenda changes. Let’s keep things in perspective. There is no doubt that Churchill, Gandhi and many more celebrated historic figures, by today’s standards, were racist, due to the nature of society at the time. If we judge them on a way of life back then it brings nothing to the table, as – where do we stop? If a statue needs to come down because atrocities have been proven to have been committed let’s lobby to get it down. There are ways to deal with this, but vigilante behaviour isn’t one of them.
Nor am I convinced that we’ll get anywhere by banning old TV shows. We need them as historic references to start with, and if we allow censorship to come into play here, where does it stop? Waking up to hear that the “Faulty Towers” episode “The Germans” (sometimes known as “Don’t Mention the War”) had been banned was the final straw. “Little Britain” has gone too, apparently, as it causes offence.
Racism off the scale
If you want to see real racist shows you only have to go back to the 70s and watch the likes of Alf Garnett or “George and Mildred”. The homophobia, sexism and racism is off the scale from Hylda Baker in “Not on Your Nellie”, which was primetime Sunday viewing in the UK at one time. In one opening scene, she asks a police officer for directions and when he turns around and she sees he is black, she tells him, “You won’t know as you’re not from here either.”
Benny Hill is a programme steeped in misogyny, homophobia and racism, but still embraced in the US as quintessential British humour, and the classic Carry On films are full of the same. “Bo’ Selecta!” came under fire from Trisha Goddard, yet Mel B embraced it and appeared on the show, as did the singer Craig David. “White Chicks” is still one of my favourite comedy films, where two black police officers dress up as two white society girls.
Trying to alter the past to make it more acceptable is always futile. Sure, petition and lobby for a statue to be removed that’s celebrating someone’s life if they’ve turned out to be an evil character, but let’s all have a say, not just a small group deciding what comes down or up. We need reminding of what can happen if we do not keep things in check.
How would you feel?
There are so many people going on about “All Lives Matter”, and they’re so right, but completely missing the point: nobody is saying that black lives matter more, just that black lives matter as much as anyone else’s. Could you imagine if this was you in the picture below and it referred to your forefathers – how would you feel?
We may not be born racist, but it’s a poisonous lesson many of us learn even from our first day at school. Growing up, my dad hated the Welsh. He was always on about the fella who stole his army uniform when he was in the services. “Never trust them.” He went on tarring an entire country with the same brush, though he had a soft spot for Katherine Jenkins. Much as I knew this was just ridiculous, on my first visit to Cardiff there was a slight nervous feeling. It had been bred into me as a small child, even though I knew most of what my dear dad said was racist, homophobic and misogynistic. His generation sat around in bars and clubs, judging others.
Enoch Powell
I remember childhood visits to family and friends, in whose mouths (you would think) butter wouldn’t melt. Grandmothers and mums would sit knitting away and make a comment like, “I don’t mind the coloureds as long as they don’t move in next door to us, it brings the property price down.” Or even as an adult, a friend’s mum saying (much to his horror), “Enoch Powell had the right idea, you know.” His Rivers of Blood speech is still thought to be an acceptable way of thinking for some, let’s not forget.
It would make a difference, surely, if schools were more proactive in teaching children that we’re all made in the same human mould, and bullying and looking down on people is never acceptable. From day one, yes, we may have different heritages but let’s embrace and learn about cultures and approach them inclusively.
My musical influences, as well as Bowie and Marc Bolan, included the brilliant Diana Ross and Motown sounds in general. There was also the beauty of the jazz greats such as Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald. Moving to London was my first time mixing with other cultures and hitting clubs like the Embassy and Bangs Adams. It was exciting to be dancing to the likes of Grace Jones and Sister Sledge, and my only thought about those who had darker skin was how beautiful they looked.
Diana Ross.
On my first visit to New York, it really hit me how racist people can be. “Do not go to that area, it’s a black neighbourhood.” “Why not?” I asked. “It’s dangerous.” And there were lots of comments about black people from those who looked like civilised people. This was in the early 80s. Needles to say, being me, I explored Harlem and the Bowery, despite their warnings. But why are there “black” neighbourhoods even now? Besides which, other people suggesting these neighbourhoods are too dangerous to enter is one of the things that keeps segregation alive.
Harlem in the 70s.
New York is one of the more tolerant states. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when people tell me they know the US when they have just visited one city. Go to Dallas and travel a few miles out where life is all church and sport, and you will be gobsmacked at the homophobia and racism. Take a side trip from LA through San Diego to the beautiful town of La Jolla, and you can sit for hours without seeing one black person. I know this as I worked there.
Hair
One thing in favour of the US is that to become a hairdresser you must be able to do all types of hair and their state board exam mirrors this. As a result, I can do starfighters, jerry curls and all types of black hair.
The same cannot be said for the UK, where there are for the most part separate salons. Several times when I have turned up to a job and the actress or model was black, their faces dropped when they saw a white boy. One in particular shook her head: “I am just back from Michigan and spent £600 on this weave. No offence honey, no white boy’s getting near it.” In the end, she was very happy with the result. Still, here at least, the UK needs to learn from America, and make sure all hairdressers can work with all types of hair.
Dee and I are often mistaken for a couple and even though we are not, we have had our fair share of bad attitudes from both black and white waiters and others, even in cosmopolitan London. At a funeral of a friend’s mother who originated from the Caribbean I was waiting at the church. The mourners were largely black. As I stood there, I was twice asked to park the car and others seemed to think I was working there and asked me for various things. Then one asked if I was related to our friend’s husband, who was white. When I said no, he replied, “Easy mistake, you all look the same.”
There is no doubt in my mind racism is learnt and is everywhere. I’m not sure that sudden efforts at drastic change, made in the heat of the moment, will last. Let us start from the core with groups like Diversity Role Models and others going into schools. Let’s talk about issues without everyone name calling, and stop telling the young people anyone from another race is worth less or has odd ways. Let’s embrace all cultures in a positive light.
It leaves me wondering: if an alien nation attacked earth, as humans, would we all come together in unity to fight back? Looking at the governments we have today, I doubt it. After all, they can’t even agree what to do when our planet is being attacked by a virus.
This article first appeared three years a go but just as current . The Church of Madonna by Steven Smith.
It’s a warm night in Athens and there is a gentle wind blowing through the Pictures Restaurant, which is lit by candles, making it a perfect atmosphere for dinner.
My weekend hosts have joined me: the divine Atticus (a self-confessed Greek Diva with oodles of style, wit and charm) and his partner Count Alex, a man you can describe in one word, “Class”: this, and he is a walking encyclopaedia. Plus, Adam, my best pal, had jetted in from Asia. He has just started a course on sex addiction to add to his qualification as a counsellor. You can guarantee that tonight is going to be packed with fascinating conversation, debate and humour and (hopefully) good food.
Nonetheless, it is not too long into the conversation before the M word comes up (NO, not monogamy). Madonna.
Madame X
She seems to have a way of popping into so many evenings as a subject in my life, and not just among my male gay friends. I have on occasion wanted to say, “LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT MADONNA” but how can we not, when so many of my friends are devotees of The Church of Madonna?
In fairness, Atticus has just managed to obtain a ticket to see Madonna, or her alter ego Madame X, at the London Palladium next year.
“I want to see the whites of my fans’ eyes and get up close and personal – give them something back,” she explained to presenter Rylan Clark on the BBC’s One Show, as an explanation for her choosing to do a theatre tour.
Atticus is sitting in great Royal Circle seats, but I enquire, “Will she be using binoculars to see the whites of your eyes?” He replies, “BITCH!’
A hint of jealousy on my part? No! To be honest I am thrilled for my friends who have tickets, but a little dig is always camp.
Awkward
The subject stays on Madonna and that rather awkward interview she gave on The Graham Norton Show. Madonna was not the only guest that evening. Director Danny Boyle and actors Lily James and Himesh Patel were also on to chat about their new film, Yesterday. They were on first, and to be truthful I couldn’t wait for them to finish and M to appear. But finally, she appears: the audience goes wild, as do I (though only in my front room).
Host Graham Norton with (seated left to right) Sir Ian McKellen, Madonna, Danny Boyle, Lily James, and Himesh Patel during the filming for the Graham Norton Show at BBC Studioworks 6 Television Centre, Wood Lane, London, UK on June 13, 2019. Photo by Isabel Infantes/PA Wire/ABACAPRESS.COM
But for once Madonna looks a little uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the fact she’s dressed as Madam X, complete with a Betty-Davis-inspired eye patch from the film The Anniversary,making her look like she’s arrived at a fancy-dress party and no one else has bothered to make the effort to get a costume.
She was obviously on to promote her ninth number one US album, Madam X. It is her fourteenth studio album and deservedly also her biggest critical success to date, but you have the feeling she wants to go home and change. This sense is fortified when Graham asks her to take a seat and she seems to have problems sitting down on the couch
“I am not used to sitting with this many people. Is there room?” Madonna asks.
Then there’s a problem with the actual costume. “Someone’s tied my corset too tight, my boobs keep popping up,” Madonna points out as she sits down, pulling her jacket over her breasts.
The interview does not go well, and she actually says, when asked “Do you ever get anxious?”:
“Yes, right now.”
It’s a mile away from the fun she seemed to have with Rylan Clark on the BBC One Show. Madonna seemed to adore him. She managed to cap it all by seemingly insulting our “national treasure”, Sir Ian McKellen, by asking what he did.
Exhibitionism
Though it has been misquoted (she asked what he did on his one-man show), she was vague and rather distant.
“She is an introvert really,” says Atticus, and Adam agrees. They go on to say you can be a performer and still be an introvert.
Yes, I have met many introverts whose drug of choice has been exhibitionism, making them look like extroverts.
Once the mask is dropped for a minute or they’re not comfortable, they can make for awkward conversation, or if in the public eye they can often come over as rude in interviews.
The singer Cher says Madonna is not the best singer or dancer and to quote her, “She has taken straw and spun it into gold”: a little harsh. Marlene Dietrich and Marilyn Monroe, both of whom Madonna takes inspiration from, were not the best singers or dancers but their images captured the time and a nation’s heart.
Madonna is a brilliant creative genius who has captured the moments of many of our lives and mirrored them in her songs and her imagery.
Whilst Cher’s songs are pleasant bubble-gum music (despite dishing Madonna she asked her to write for her), Madonna has something to say to us as quoted in the hit song “Express Yourself”. From “Papa Don’t Preach” (talking about abortion) to the current “God Control” (talking about gun control), Madge has never shied away from preaching to us and we have lapped it up.
Madonna has been in my life since my late teens and I have related to her more than most people, as she seemed to be thinking what I was at the most crucial moments of my adult life.
A stunning Amanda Lear performance at Heaven in the early eighties left me spellbound as she entered the stage in white leather on a chauffeured motorbike. Jumping off, she took off her helmet and let fall her thick blonde hair, shortly to be joined by leather-clad male dancers. It was spectacular.
A year later and someone I had never heard of was on at Heaven. Madonna was billed as a New York club-scene darling. She had two dancers and was cute and wore a hat, but she did not have her act polished and certainly seemed to lack the stage presence of Lear. Still, she had something, and she stuck in my mind.
Not that it really compares but I’d just qualified as a hairdresser and was also finding my way and not quite polished, so I guess when she burst into the charts and I recognised her, there was a feeling of “Well done girl”. And I began, like many, to champion her. There was something that she had that’s important in a star – the public related to her quickly. Girls (and some boys) emulated the look: she could be your friend, lover or sister. She was the naughty girl in class we all secretly admired.
Too often, if someone looks too unattainable or perfect, people shy away from them as idols. The critics favoured Cindy Lauper and mocked Madonna’s early performances as she dropped her tambourine or sang off key. Much as Lauper was fun, it was the Material Girl we all wanted to be with.
Debbie Harry
By 1985, I was a busy hairdresser living in Brighton and a huge fan of Madonna. The number-one hairstyle, due in part to the film Desperately Seeking Susan,was the Madonna look, and my gang saw it several times: the camera just loved her. Apparently, according to the recent Channel 5 documentary, she studied Debbie Harry (Blondie) and the greats Marilyn and Greta Garbo to get that screen look. Those of you who have seen Madonna’s early audition for the movie Fame can see the giant improvement in her technique.
January 1987. I had made it to L.A., California, and my career as a hairdresser had really taken off. People were open and friendly, and it seemed to take only hours before invites to parties arrived, thanks to meeting a man on the plane who lived in Malibu and (to quote him) “knew everyone”.
Madonna’s True Blue album was never off my car radio and Mexican food (something strange in the UK at the time) was fast becoming my favourite.
Having a partner, I stayed away from the Malibu and Laguna beach crowd as I knew it would spell trouble. The mention of a, b, c parties put me off.
We were lucky enough to make friends with a rancher called Very Magnusson, who made us welcome. His ranch grew avocados and he had a sweet, illegal Mexican ranch hand called Ernesto working there and living there. He had a one-room hut covered in Madonna posters. He was full of smiles and hope. I really felt for him, although he spoke no English.
Madonna had released Whose That Girl (the movie and soundtrack) and she was touring. I managed through a friend there to get two tickets, ten rows from the front, to her concert in Anaheim. My partner was not taken with Madonna. So, who to take?
I decided it would be great and a dream to take Ernesto.
Vern seemed shocked. “Are you sure??”
Latino
July 18th. .There I am, all excited with Ernesto for Madonna to come on. But there is a problem: the security has checked Ernesto’s ticket for the sixth time and not mine.
“HE IS WITH ME,” I snap. Some of the people in the row are giving looks too.
I am beginning to realise that there’s a real preconceived attitude towards the Latino community in the US.
This is cemented when the man from Malibu comes running up with two friends. “Honey, how fab to see you, who are you with?”
When I say with Ernesto, they actually back off and can’t wait to get away. (There was even a sneering, “How do you know him?”)
Bigotry or hate I cannot abide. Much as anti-LGBTQ behaviour was a day-to-day issue in my life, a person being treated like this because of their race and class had my blood boiling and it was around about the same time that Madonna started telling us all to love one another.
If she had seen how a young Mexican boy was being treated at her concert, she would have told them to do more than “Open your Heart” – the opening song to her Who’s That Girl concert.
Sadly, Ernesto got involved in a local gang and was found dead two years later.
June 1988, and I was in New York, sitting in the front row of the Royale Theatre, about to see Speed the Plow, a three-handed play starring Madonna. I never asked for the front row, but a PR friend booked the seats and thought it would be great.
I was studying acting at Adam Hill in Los Angeles in my spare time, so I was keen to see her stage work.
Madonna comes on with brunette hair, holding a tray. She is visibly shaking (as the glasses on the tray are moving) and it is not part of the play. She is incredibly attractive in the flesh, close up. Sadly, Madonna is like a first-year drama student doing a monologue full of promise but has not yet refined the craft. The critics were lukewarm at best.
But the play is good and a modern classic.
Still, apart from David Bowie when I was 17, it’s the only time I’ve waited to see a celebrity by the stage door. When Madonna came out, eventually, in a chic Chanel suit, she looked straight down and got into the limo. It did make me feel like a stalker. What was I going to say to her if she had stopped? “Fancy a drink, Madonna?”
Blonde Ambition
Later, on a US television interview, she says, “Why do we always listen to the one critic over those that praise us?” It is so true: ten people can say something nice and the one person who is negative or says something of a passive-aggressive nature, I’ll be thinking about for weeks to come.
I never got to see the Blonde Ambition tour live. Still, we all loved the 1991 film Truth or Dare or, as it was known outside the US, In Bed with Madonna.It’s the one where she apparently outs people and demonstrates with the aid of an Evian bottle how to give oral sex.
Her moving speech at the GLAAD Media Awards in May this year, wearing Elizabeth Emmanuel:
“I had no idea it was going to inspire so many gay men to, A, give blow jobs to Evian bottles, or, B, just have the courage to come out and be free and take a stand and say this is who I am, like it or not.”
Sadly, some of the dancers, in my opinion, betrayed her and once their 15 minutes were up, took her to court, as documented in the film, Strike a Pose.
We have all been there: you help someone and they turn on you. There is no doubt she is a taskmaster and a perfectionist, but what an incredible start for anyone in the business. She taught us to forgive and stuck with the format of hiring new talent.
The 1992 coffee-table book Sex had fans queuing up at book shops around the world. Though she came under fire from critics, many saying her career was over, the silver-foil-covered soft-porn book is still a collector’s item.
Much as fetish clubs in New York and London, such as Torture Garden, were springing up, showing us, “a different way to love”, S&M has been around since the start of time. She opened the way for people, and in particular women, to talk about fantasy sex. Though her song “Hanky Panky” from the Dick Traceymovie soundtrack “Breathless” said she just wanted to be spanked, later she retracted this, saying, “Just try it”.
Your correspondent in shorts with a sign that says SEX on it
She had us all talking about SEX though, encouraging us not to be afraid of our desires. I still have a framed Madonna Sex cardboard cut-out.
“Erotica” was one of the first tracks she performed at her concert The Girlie Show in London in 1993. My best pal Lester Middlehurst from the Daily Mailwas working on the now defunct Today newspaper and he had VIP press tickets for the show. “Darling, you have to fly over for the weekend at least.”
Not to be ungrateful, there I was in the VIP press area in the gods. I was still at the age, I guess, where I liked to see the whites of the eyes of the performers and be with the crowd. Bless my departed friend, I don’t think he even liked Madonna.
I could write for hours about my experiences relating to Madonna. The second part will have to wait till near her concert time.
Madonna the introvert, the exhibitionist, the good Catholic girl at heart, the mother or lover. There is one thing for sure – she keeps one eye well open at all times when it comes to everything she’s doing, and both feet on the ground.
Where other icons have failed and gone to heaven, you just know the material girl will keep Vogueing on ‘til she drops. Or maybe she will surprise us and “Take a Bow” after this tour.
Let the power of art lift you up in these troubling times.
Re print from 2022 by Steven Smith.
Read time:7 minute, 52 seconds
Art is subjective; arguably anything could be described as art. It has been said that as long as an artist says “what I have made is art” then it is art. Pulling a partially burnt door from the rubble of a derelict building and hanging it on your wall, then spray painting it, could pass as art. In fact, that’s exactly what one artist confessed to me that they once did, and it sold for a good price. But what makes a successful artist?
Experts in the art world often say that, unless you are represented by a prestigious gallery and have sold your pieces at one of the reputable auction houses for a hefty price, you cannot begin to describe yourself as a leading British or international artist. But in these days of spin and false news, many artists grandly describe themselves as just that – even if it is just on their own web page. That is why an artist being represented by a leading gallery is so important, it protects the consumer and cradles the artist. It is like good management for actors.
Your correspondent with actor and Loose Woman Denise Welch supporting her husband Lincoln Townley art https://lincolntownley.com
For me, if I walk into an exhibition and instantly see that an artist’s inspiration is another artist then I am not excited about their work. I am fine with artists being influenced by other artists’ work but if an artist recognisably channels legends such as Warhol, Bacon, Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst perhaps they need to rethink …
Hearing a truly talented, unique artist’s voice call out from their work is what captures me. It can send goosebumps up my neck when a crafted artist’s work is powerfully on display.
Take inspiration from the masters by all means but when your art is the equivalent to an X-factor contestant belting out someone else’s song, and a poor version of it at that, a great artist you are not. You may well be on the path to becoming one as long as, like many in the craft, you dedicate yourself to finding your own voice.
This is usually my favourite time of year as Frieze comes to town and the best galleries from around the world showcase their finest artists. Held in Regents Park, you can submerge yourself in an orgy of talented modern artists. Along with Frieze Masters, it feels like Christmas has come.
Sadly, Frieze, like many other events has moved online, but has offered lectures and courses and hopefully further experiences for art enthusiasts. It is be back in its typical glory now when this is all over.
The landmark Venice art festival “La Biennale” is still set to go ahead next year, with the British entry selected by the Hayward Gallery and British Art Council. Next year, we are represented by curators Manijeh Verghese and Madeleine Kessler, who are bringing a diverse range of art to the British tent. La Biennale shows every two years, with the last showing in 2019, represented by British artist Cathy Wilkes. It’s the cream of the art shows, and I was lucky to attend in 2017 as a guest of Israeli artist Michele Cole. I still get excited about my trip; it is a memory that will stay with me for life. It is well worth going.
The arts have suffered grievously during the pandemic, with many galleries and exhibition halls still closed. It was a ray of light to be invited by LGBTQ+ international artist, Pedro Sousa Louro, to the opening of START at the Saatchi Gallery. His work received rave reviews when he showed at the Kunstmesse art fair in Germany. Pedro, originally from Portugal, resides in Chelsea and has a studio in Wimbledon. Pedro was educated at the Chelsea College of Arts in London. Among his army of fans are celebrities such as Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Holly Johnson.
Holly Johnson (l) with Pedro Sousa Louro
Holly says of Pedro’s work “I like the fact that his art does not mean anything in particular. It is geometry for the sake of geometry “
Going into its seventh year, START showcases new and established artists, attracting international exhibitors, although the artists at START must pay to show their work. START gives voice to artists hoping to make a name for themselves on a global stage while providing the perfect platform for new collectors to discover talent that might otherwise have gone unseen.
Included in this year’s programme is Korean Eye 2020, a teaser exhibition that gives an insight into the work of some of Korea’s most exciting young artists.
START founders, David and Serenella Ciclitira, were determined to support artists and push ahead with this year’s show, despite many sceptics. They recognise the difficulties faced by the art world during these tumultuous times. They appreciate that many people are not ready to return to galleries amidst the ongoing pandemic. They have made START a world leader that combines both online and physical reality. The Ciclitiras are aiming to make START a leader in the ‘phygital’ world, which marries both the physical environment and the online digital world at the same time
‘Serenella and I are committed to playing our part in supporting artists and galleries, and in getting the art-world as a whole back open for business.’
David Ciclitira
2020 has been a challenging year, to say the least. It is a time when we must adapt and innovate; we must come together, united, for the greater good of all our fellow artists and galleries.
The Saatchi gallery is one of the great London venues and brings a beautiful addition to the trendy Kings Road. My date for the open day was our Editor, Rob Harkavy. He was all suited and booted for the occasion. You can’t help but love the gallery the minute you walk in. For me, it is my dream home; it has been my fantasy to live in a gallery since I studied art as a teenager.
The celebrities were out in force. Anthea Turner was on hand to support David Bowie 20/20 Vision; a collection of photographs by Tony McGee, award-winning British photographer and friend of Bowie. This unique collection of never-before-seen images were hand-selected ‘on set’ by Bowie himself as a reflection of his own inner image, and are as powerful as they are poignant, beautifully capturing the essence of the shapeshifting, beguiling, enigmatic superstar. It blew me away. Anyone looking to buy me something for Christmas at £4k, one of these, please!
Loose Woman and award-winning actress, Denise Welch, was chatting to people at her husband’s section, the former PR-man-turned-artist, Lincoln Townley. Welch’s son, Louis Healy (star of Emmerdale) was also in attendance. Michael Caine has previously shared that he is a fan of Townley’s work.
The beautiful Gail Porter was also present and chatted to us. She was just charming.
START is well worth going to. The atmosphere is exciting, and there are one or two gems, depending on your taste. START also has a great bar on the third floor, where the Korean exhibition is, and there is some stunning work there.
Also open is the Brighton Museum; a hidden gem, but trust me, a must for everyone visiting the legendary gay seaside town. Among the exhibitions is Queer on the Pier. This community-curated display peers into local LGBTQ+ history. Celebrating the lives of the writers, artists, performers, activists and ordinary people who have made Brighton & Hove so fabulous, their stories are brought to life with film and photography, fashion and drag and oral histories. It is part of Be Bold, a series of collaborative exhibitions and events, programmed with Brighton & Hove’s LGBTQ+ communities.
My viewz and not of 2Shades brought to you bi -monthly a column that does not hold back
“Where to pee or not to pee, is that really a question?”
Trans. Trans, dear God has there ever been a topic that will have you cancelled simply for not agreeing and get so many hot under the collar?
Now let us get this straight and to help the right-wing God squad: if your apparent higher power allowed a child to be born with bone cancer or deformed, is there not a chance he popped one or two in the wrong body too?
For me, if a man or woman feels they have been born in the wrong body and have undergone two years of therapy and gender reassignment, as far as I am concerned, they are now the sex of their choice.
People who have had gender-affirming surgery have been in my life since I was 16. The Famous Julia / George dropped coffee all over my Fiorucci white jump suit at “Scandals” night club when she ran the coffee shop there. Strangely we became friends. From April Ashley to Tallulah, famous sex changes have been in the news. Many have played under the radar and of course with some there was the odd whisper, but all for most part got on with their new lives. Wonderful India Willoughby, whom I admire, campaigns for
Transvestites who enjoy popping a frock on are not in that transgender category, however.
Nor is drag. Drag has been around since time began and in the theatrical sense it is a performance. So many people seem to be labelling drag artists as trans which, for the most part, they are not. Men that suddenly announce they are trans and pop on a frock, an acrylic wig and some false nails are not women.
Sure, some might be starting a journey towards being a woman. Others never will make that trip and must appreciate it is a dream and not expect rights as a woman.
Tim Curry in the incredible The Rocky Horror show is a sweet Transvestite not to be confused with gender reassignment https://rockyhorror.co.uk
Much as mixed toilets have been in many venues for years, the right for a woman or, when it comes to it, a man to go the toilet that is used by their own sex should be enforced. What many forget is some women are coping with trauma, having been raped or abused badly by men. They will find the idea of sharing a bathroom (where they are in a vulnerable state) with anyone with a penis utterly terrifying. Simply put, if you have a penis stay out of the ladies loo.
What is bizarre to me and many of the trans is this “Dead Life”, i.e. if you are now identify as woman, your prior life is “Dead Life” and you can suddenly create a whole past as girl. One (who we all know)
described how she slept with a variety of celebrities as a beautiful young girl – the issue here is she was a 17-year-old spotty boy at the time she claims it happened. It is just a lie, a “Fantasy Life” that to my mind is closer to criminal fraud.
I certainly would have been trans back in my school years. I used to pray that I would wake as a girl because being a boy was pure misery for me. Today I love being a man, in fact after about 14 that desire to be a girl eventually passed. For many it does not, and they have my
empathy and support to be who they want to be after a certain age.
Forcing kids into boxes i.e. boys like football and action and
girls like Barbie and cooking is one of the unhealthiest things I can think of. It is responsible for so many mental health issues in those kids who do not fit into society’s false expectations. But please do not let kids undergo surgery till they are fully matured and can decide if it is still what they really want.
Personally there would be no way I would even want a child of mine to have a piercing or tattoo until they were in their late teens. There are support groups such as Mermaids that help young people who feel they are struggling with gender
Finally, practise what you preach. A lovely trans woman who I respected and addressed as a woman (even though they had not had surgery, or any work done), berated me for not eating what I was given at a dinner table (I do not eat red meat or pork).
“In my day you ate what you were given!” she chastised me.
Thank God for you it is not “your days” as you would be running for the hills dressed as woman. The problem is, if we expect people to accept us for who we are, it has to be reciprocal, not one-sided.
Colin Farrell – a real man of action
As if we could not love Colin Farrell enough already, the actor and his son James have melted our hearts this month. Colin has been talking about his 20-year-old son James who lives with Angel Syndrome.
“I want the world to be kind to James. I want the world to treat him with kindness and respect.”
Angelman syndrome is genetic disorder that mainly affects the nervous system. Symptoms include a small head and a specific facial appearance, severe intellectual disability, developmental disability, limited to no functional speech, balance and movement problems, seizures, and sleep problems.
Farrell has started a foundation in honour of his son in the US. The Colin Farrell Foundation will provide support for adult children who have an intellectual disability through advocacy, education and innovative programs.
As for the foundation, for years Farrell has wanted to do something in the realm of providing greater opportunities for families who have a child with special needs, to receive the support that they deserve and the assistance in all areas of life.
“Once your child turns 21, they’re kind of on their own,” Farrell says. “All the safeguards that are put in place, special ed classes, that all goes away, so you’re left with a young adult who should be an integrated part of our modern society and often is left behind.”
This is mirrored in the UK. Last year Dr Anna Kennedy OBE petitioned Number 10 Downing Street to help those living with autism to be aided after the age of 24 where government aid stops. “Who will look after my sons when I am gone?” is a question Anna has raised along with many parents of children with special needs.
Dr Anna Kennedy OBE and me delivering a petition to Number 10 downing street picture Terry Scott ,
Colin and Anna are real heroes and we need more of the likes of these two in this world.
Yet more bad news for the BBC as their top-rated show “Strictly Come Dancing” comes under fire for apparent bullying as previous contestants have been complaining.
Oh do get a grip. You go into a reality show and you are really expecting it to be plain sailing?
These people complaining of bad treatment have agents and a
right to walk out at any time. Stop, enough already. Do not go into a
show like “Strictly” or “I’m a Celebrity” and expect back rubs and hugs.
Dance is a highly disciplined practice and anyone who has properly
trained at the ballet or dance school will tell you it is not for the faint
hearted.
To conclude .
When your bear friend has been taking Ozempic and asks if
you have noticed any visible side effects on them…
2Shades Magazine 