The Pam Barbie — she doesn’t age. Ask her a question and she’ll never reply with a simple yes or no. Instead, she’ll tell you she won’t get in the gutter with you, then rant about something else entirely. She never apologises. Comes with her own pen and your search history. Say the word Trump to her and she’ll squeak and get most… animated. Extra lashes not included. 💄
Do not forget two more in the set
ICE ICE BABY BARBIE
Throw myself on the cross for Trump Press Barbie
WARNING NOT SUITABLE FOR PEOPLE WITH COMMON SCENSE , OR WHO UNDERSTAND EMPATHY OR ARE PART OF GROUP THAT DOES NOT BOW DOWN TO TRUMP.
Give Me a Break: Why Jim Ratcliffe Shouldn’t Have to Apologise for Speaking His Mind
Give me a break. Jim Ratcliffe should never have been asked to apologise simply for saying what he thinks. You may not agree with him — and that’s perfectly fine — but he is entitled to express his views. That is how debate works. Someone speaks, others respond, and through discussion we decide where we stand. Silencing people helps no one.
The Monaco-based Manchester United co-owner has faced anger from politicians and football fans over words branded “disgraceful.” But really, what he did is what many of us do when we are frustrated: he spoke honestly. He didn’t dress his feelings up in polite clichés or empty phrases. He said what he meant.
Most of us are experts in polite dishonesty. “With all due respect” often means “I completely disagree with you. or F—U ” “That was pleasant” usually means “that was awful.” And “I’m sorry if you were offended” is perhaps the most passive-aggressive phrase of all. Anyone with a bit of intelligence knows it isn’t a real apology — it’s a way of avoiding responsibility while appearing polite.
We have become obsessed with forcing public figures into rehearsed apologies. They are expected to grovel, backtrack, and apologise for having opinions. Often, these apologies are meaningless. They are written by advisers, polished by PR teams, and delivered with no genuine feeling behind them.
We should be careful not to turn into a country where people are afraid to speak openly. Suppressing opinions does not make racism, homophobia, or prejudice disappear. It simply pushes those views into the shadows, where they cannot be challenged or confronted. Open discussion, however uncomfortable, is far healthier than silence.
If someone chooses to apologise on their own terms, that is their right. But forcing an apology achieves nothing. Once people have spoken, we know who they are and what they believe. Then it is up to the rest of us to agree, disagree, challenge, or ignore them.
Free speech is not about comfort. It is about honesty. And we should defend it — even when we don’t like what is being said.
Take your mind of Andy . Mandy . Epstein a Trump came too . Beast Games is Great Viewing .
Thank God for the Winter Olympics and the latest instalment of Bridgerton. At times like this, they are exactly what we need — a welcome distraction from the endless cycle of headlines Andy, Mandy, Epstein, and Trump came too . Sadly, it’s not a children’s cartoon we can simply switch off and forget. This is real life, and sometimes it feels overwhelming.
Let’s not even go there with the innuendo. Some stories are so grim and uncomfortable that they leave you wishing for a remote control that could pause the world for a while. Instead, we scroll, we sigh, and we carry on, trying to protect our sanity as best we can.
That is why entertainment matters more than people realise. It isn’t shallow or pointless. It is a form of escape, a mental breather. Whether it’s athletes pushing themselves to the limit on icy slopes or glamorous characters sweeping through Regency ballrooms, these moments remind us that there is still beauty, talent, and creativity in the world.
And if you are looking for something fun and completely absorbing, look no further than Amazon Prime’s Beast Games. It is fast-paced, dramatic, and unapologetically entertaining. The challenges are outrageous, the stakes are high, and it is impossible not to get drawn in. It is the kind of programme that makes you forget your phone, your worries, and even the news for an hour or two.
Sometimes, switching off is not avoidance — it is survival. We cannot live in a constant state of outrage and anxiety. We need sport, drama, laughter, and even a bit of escapist nonsense to balance things out.
So yes, thank God for the Winter Olympics, Bridgerton, and shows like Beast Games. In a noisy, reedless world, they offer us something precious: a moment of peace.
An amazing Super Bowl half time show with Bad Bunny and lady Ga Ga
For just over thirteen unforgettable minutes, Bad Bunny showed the world what America can be at its very best.
In an era too often dominated by division, fear and noise, the Puerto Rico–born megastar delivered something rare and precious: a performance rooted in empathy, diversity, unity and love. It was a reminder that kindness still matters. That culture still connects us. And that music, when created with honesty and heart, has the power to heal.
Watching his Super Bowl performance, I felt goosebumps ripple through me. It was one of those rare moments that catches you off guard — when entertainment quietly becomes something deeper. Tears welled in my eyes, not just because of the spectacle, but because of what it represented. When Bad Bunny, born Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, later handed his Grammy trophy to a young boy, it symbolised everything he stands for: generosity, humility, hope, and the belief that success means very little if you do not lift others with you.
Only a week before that performance, he had achieved another historic milestone, winning multiple Grammys and securing Album of the Year for a Spanish-language record — the first time in the ceremony’s history. It was far more than a personal triumph. It was a cultural moment. It declared, loudly and clearly, that Spanish-speaking artists, stories and voices belong at the very centre of global culture.
A Voice for Millions
Bad Bunny represents more than music. He represents identity.
Over 50 million Americans speak Spanish, and many millions more around the world share that language. For decades, their stories were often pushed to the margins. Today, through artists like Bad Bunny, those voices are finally being heard — not as niche or alternative, but as mainstream, powerful and essential.
What makes his music so extraordinary is that you do not even need to understand every word to feel its impact. I have sat in operas sung in German and Italian and been deeply moved without speaking either language. Music, at its best, transcends translation. It lives in rhythm, tone, emotion and feeling.
Bad Bunny’s songs do exactly that. They make you want to dance. They make you want to smile. They make you want to belong. They invite everyone into the room — regardless of age, background or nationality — and say, “You are welcome here.”
That sense of inclusion is no accident. It is the foundation of his work.
More Than a Performer
What truly sets Bad Bunny apart is not just his talent, but his courage.
He has consistently challenged stereotypes around masculinity, fashion and identity. He wears nail polish. He experiments with clothing. He speaks openly about mental health. He advocates for LGBTQ+ rights. He stands up for his community when injustice strikes. And he does so without preaching, without arrogance and without apology.
In doing so, he has become a role model for millions who may never have seen themselves reflected in mainstream culture before. Young men who felt pressured to hide their softness. Young people who felt different. Young artists who wondered if there was space for their voice.
Bad Bunny proves that there is.
And that authenticity is not weakness — it is strength.
A Night of Healing
His Super Bowl performance was not just entertainment. It was a tonic for the soul.
At a time when many Americans — and people across the world — are grappling with uncertainty, financial pressure, social division and emotional fatigue, the show offered something desperately needed: joy.
It reminded us what it feels like to be united by a shared moment. To laugh, cheer, sing and dance together. To forget our worries, even briefly, and simply exist in celebration.
That is the true power of culture. It builds bridges where politics builds walls.
truly beautiful as love came together Lady Ga Ga , Ricky Martin and Bad Bunny ,
Standing Among Legends
Bad Bunny was not alone in delivering that message.
Lady Gaga’s performance of Hold My Hand was another beacon of light — a moving tribute that honoured courage, compassion and resilience. Her voice carried both strength and vulnerability, reminding us that patriotism is not about shouting the loudest, but about caring the deepest.
I was lucky enough to see Lady Gaga when she was just starting out, performing at Wilton Manors’ Bill’s Filling Station. Even then, she had that unmistakable spark — that sense of destiny. Watching her now, on one of the biggest stages in the world, is proof that talent paired with integrity can take you anywhere.
Meanwhile, Ricky Martin joined Bad Bunny for a beautiful rendition of Lo Que Le Pasó a Hawaii. It was emotional, elegant and deeply symbolic — a meeting of generations, cultures and histories. Two Puerto Rican artists, united on a global stage, honouring their roots while embracing the future.
It was breathtaking.
A New Definition of Success
For years, success in the music industry was defined narrowly: English-language hits, a traditional image, predictable branding. Bad Bunny has shattered that formula.
He sings in Spanish. He blends reggaeton, trap, pop and Latin rhythms. He refuses to be boxed in. He puts his community first. And he remains grounded, despite global fame.
That is why people love him.
Not because he is perfect, but because he is real.
He celebrates his culture without excluding others. He embraces fame without losing humility. He challenges norms without seeking attention. And he gives back without seeking praise.
In a world obsessed with image, he offers substance.
Love Over Hate
Perhaps the most powerful message of all was the simplest: love wins over hate.
At a time when headlines are filled with anger and conflict, Bad Bunny’s presence said something different. It said that diversity is strength. That kindness is power. That unity is possible.
His performance was not political in the traditional sense. It was something better. It was human.
It reminded us that beneath labels and borders, we are all moved by rhythm, melody, emotion and story. We all want to feel seen. We all want to belong. We all want to hope.
And for thirteen extraordinary minutes, Bad Bunny gave us exactly that.
A Moment We Needed
Looking back, it truly was one of the finest Super Bowl halftime shows in history — not just for its production, but for its heart.
It was a celebration of heritage. A statement of inclusion. A masterclass in artistry. And a powerful reminder of why music matters.
Bad Bunny did not just perform.
He connected. He inspired. He healed.
And in doing so, he showed the world that greatness is not measured by charts or trophies alone, but by the lives you touch along the way.
In uncertain times, he gave us certainty. In divided times, he gave us unity. In weary times, he gave us joy.
And that is why the world has fallen in love with Bad Bunny.
In the ever-evolving landscape of British entertainment, certain personalities burst onto the scene with such warmth and authenticity that audiences instantly connect with them. One such figure is Joe Marler, whose transition from sporting hero to television favourite has been nothing short of remarkable. From rugby pitches to reality TV, and now into the world of podcasting, Marler has carved out a unique space — and his talk show, Will See You Now, is fast becoming one of the most talked-about formats in modern media.
For many viewers, Joe truly captured hearts during his appearance on The Traitors. By the end of the series, it was almost impossible not to develop something akin to a “man crush” on him. He emerged as everyone’s favourite dad, big brother, and loyal mate rolled into one — approachable, funny, and refreshingly honest.
What made Joe stand out was not just his gameplay, but his no-nonsense approach to life. He didn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t. His humour was natural, his reactions genuine, and his emotional intelligence quietly impressive. In a show built on deception and suspicion, Joe’s openness felt like a breath of fresh air.
When the dramatic finale arrived and Joe was eliminated just short of victory, many viewers felt he had been unfairly “robbed.” Social media lit up with disappointment, with fans lamenting the loss of one of the show’s most likeable contestants. Yet, in typical Joe fashion, he handled defeat with grace and good humour — proving once again why audiences admired him so deeply.
Thankfully, The Traitors was far from the end of Joe’s television journey. Instead, it marked the beginning of something even more personal: his own talk show and podcast, Joe Marler Will See You Now.
Available on YouTube and podcast platforms, the show takes an unconventional and delightfully playful approach to interviews. Set up as a kind of “clinic,” Joe positions himself — tongue firmly in cheek — as an unqualified therapist, ready to examine the minds, stories, and quirks of his guests. the “Clinic”: Joe is joined by his faithful assistant, Jake, as they host sessions featuring awkward small talk and probing questions.With Janet coordinating who we never see.
But make no mistake: behind the humour lies genuine insight. Joe has an uncanny ability to make people feel relaxed, safe, and willing to open up. He doesn’t interrogate; he converses. He listens. He reacts. And in doing so, he creates moments of real connection that traditional interview formats often fail to capture.
One of the most celebrated episodes to date features Stephen Fry, a guest whose presence alone elevates any conversation. In this standout instalment, viewers are treated to a rare blend of wit, wisdom, and vulnerability. Hillarous moment when he pretends to be Joe and message the Traitors whatsapp group as him asking if he should open and “Only fans page “
Johnathan Ross replys sure and do forget to include a free microscope for members. Others were more encouraging
The episode sees Fry reflecting on creativity, mental health, fame, and identity, while Joe responds not as a distant host but as an engaged, curious human being. Their chemistry is effortless — at times deeply moving, at others laugh-out-loud funny. It is a masterclass in how thoughtful conversation can still thrive in the digital age.
For many fans, the Stephen Fry episode confirmed that Will See You Now is more than just a celebrity chat show. It is a space for meaningful dialogue — where humour and heart sit side by side.
Other episodes have featured comedians, athletes, entertainers, and public figures, each bringing their own stories and struggles to the table. Whether discussing career highs, personal setbacks, or unexpected life lessons, Joe guides every conversation with empathy and authenticity.
What makes the show truly compelling is Joe himself. He never hides behind a polished persona. He is honest about his own doubts, his mistakes, and his journey. That openness invites guests — and viewers — to be open too.
In an age where many celebrity interviews feel rehearsed and formulaic, Will See You Now feels refreshingly real. It’s unpredictable, warm, occasionally chaotic, and always engaging. You never quite know where the conversation will go — and that’s exactly the point.
Joe Marler’s evolution from rugby star to beloved broadcaster has been organic and heartfelt. He hasn’t chased fame; he’s simply followed curiosity and stayed true to himself. And audiences have followed willingly.
With standout episodes like the one featuring Stephen Fry, and a growing list of fascinating guests, Joe Marler Will See You Now is quickly establishing itself as a must-watch series. It’s the talk show everyone wants to be on — and increasingly, one everyone wants to watch.
In a world hungry for authenticity, Joe Marler is delivering it, one conversation at a time. Lets have it a main stream show as it is funny orginal and what we need right now .
When we talk about male grooming, most men immediately think of haircuts, beard trims, maybe the occasional wet shave if they’re feeling indulgent. Walk down any British high street and you’ll see it for yourself: slick barbershops offering everything from skin fades to hot towel shaves, nose waxing, ear hair removal and precision beard sculpting. Male grooming is no longer niche — it’s big business.
Men struggle with brows .
What’s perhaps less talked about is how many men are now quietly crossing the threshold into what were once considered female-only beauty spaces. Over the last decade, men have made up around a third of beauty salon clientele — and in some areas, even more. The reasons vary. For some, it’s confidence. For others, it’s professionalism. And for many, it’s simply about holding the hands of time back just a little.
Grooming isn’t about vanity. It’s about maintenance. If your home starts to look tired, you redecorate. If the roof needs fixing, you repair it. No one judges that. Caring for your face, hair and skin should be viewed in exactly the same way.
The Silent Ageing Culprit: Eyebrows
One of the most overlooked areas when it comes to male ageing is the eyebrows. Men often obsess over hair loss on the head while completely ignoring what’s happening just above the eyes.
Here’s the truth: eyebrows age us. They thin, lose definition, grow unruly, curl unpredictably, and sometimes disappear in patches altogether. Even the thickest brows aren’t immune. Over time they can begin to resemble overgrown caterpillars — or worse, stray hairy bugs with a mind of their own.
Waxing, threading and tinting can help, of course, but they require constant upkeep and the results can be inconsistent. For many men, especially as we get older, it becomes a losing battle.
I should know.
Turning sixty-five, my own eyebrows had become a point of quiet frustration. One brow was noticeably thinner and weaker than the other. The “good” one, meanwhile, had developed those wiry, curling hairs that refuse to lie flat no matter how much trimming you do. I found myself plucking constantly between salon visits — and yes, occasionally filling them in with a brow pen. Let’s be honest: if you’re doing that in secret, something isn’t working.
Asking for Advice (and Taking the Leap)
So I did what I always advise others to do — I asked a professional. My dear friend and beauty PR powerhouse Abby Knight listened patiently and then made a suggestion that, I’ll admit, made me pause.
She recommended a visit to Everlasting Salon, to see eyebrow specialist and known in the business as “ The beauty enhancer” Sylwia Kucharska.
SylwiaKucharska beauty expert
Now, gentlemen, if the idea of walking into a salon like this makes you nervous, let me put you at ease immediately. From the moment I arrived, I felt welcome, respected and completely safe. The team are highly trained, discreet and genuinely sensitive to men who may feel a little out of their comfort zone. There’s no judgement — just professionalism.
Sylwia herself was an absolute joy. Warm, reassuring, and empathetic by the bucket load, she listened carefully as I explained my eyebrow woes. Within minutes, she made me feel less like a client and more like an old friend.
Her recommendation? Microblading.
Microblading: Not What You Think
At the mention of microblading, I’ll be honest — alarm bells rang. Images flashed through my mind of overly dark, overly sharp brows I’d seen on some men, better suited to drag performance than everyday life. No offence intended — just not my look.
Sylwia laughed. “Not at all,” she said. “This is completely different.”
She explained that microblading is a semi-permanent eyebrow treatment designed to create the illusion of fuller, natural brows using ultra-fine, hair-like strokes. The pigment is deposited just beneath the surface of the skin with a handheld tool made up of tiny needles, mimicking real hair growth rather than solid blocks of colour.
Masculine. Subtle. Natural.
Beautiful Everlasting Salon .
My first appointment was simply a consultation and patch test to ensure I wasn’t allergic to the pigment — something I strongly advise everyone to do. No pressure, no hard sell.
The Treatment Experience
A few weeks later, I returned — this time genuinely excited. What struck me most was that Sylwia seemed just as invested in the result as I was. She asked if I was nervous, but with such calm, caring hands, it was impossible to be.
Taking the leap in the very capable hands of SylwiaKucharska
Before the treatment begins, the brows are carefully mapped and shaped to suit the face. I’ll admit, this moment nearly gave me cold feet. The outline looked strong — too strong, I worried. But I was reassured that this was just a guide, not the finished look.
A numbing cream was applied to minimise discomfort, and the full process — including consultation and shaping — took around two hours. The sensation? Mild at worst. At no point was I uncomfortable, and the care taken throughout was exceptional.
Natural looking brows at Everlasting Salon
When I first looked in the mirror, I liked them immediately — though I did worry the colour appeared a little warm. Sylwia calmly explained that this is normal and would soften as the skin healed. She was right. Over the following days, the tone settled beautifully into my natural colouring.
The Results — and the Reality
Despite having written about almost every treatment under the sun, I still had a wobble later that day. Was it too much? Had I overdone it?
But as the days passed, the brows softened, healed and blended seamlessly. The result? Brows that look youthful, thicker, and — most importantly — entirely believable.
Sylwia provided clear aftercare advice. Avoiding the gym for a week was a shock (I won’t lie), but everything else was common sense and easy to follow.
I’ll return in four weeks for a check and possible top-up, but already I’m thrilled. My eyebrows no longer betray my age. They frame my face properly again, without shouting for attention.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a man who’s noticed thinning, uneven or ageing brows and quietly wondered if there’s a solution — there is. And it doesn’t have to look obvious, artificial or un-masculine.
Looking after yourself isn’t vanity. It’s self-respect.
And sometimes, the smallest changes make the biggest difference.
If you’re looking for art that truly stands out—something with edge, intellect and a distinct Italian flavour—then Italian-born artist Ernesto Romano is a name worth seeking out.
Romano lives and works in London, where his practice reaches far beyond the surface of the body and into its very core. Based at the remarkable FirePit Gallery, just moments from The O2, he creates work that is as visually seductive as it is intellectually provocative. This is the kind of art that stops people in their tracks—the portrait no one else has, and the talking point everyone wants.
At the heart of Romano’s work is an extraordinary and deeply personal source material: his own medical records. X-rays, MRIs and internal scans of his body are transformed into striking, often playful artworks that quietly ask some of life’s biggest questions. “I am progressively dissecting myself,” he says with a smile. By stripping the body of its external markers—fashion, status, wealth and adornment—Romano reveals a powerful truth: beneath it all, we are equal. Bones, organs and neural structures carry no hierarchy. Jewels mean nothing here.
And yet, paradoxically, jewels and decoration frequently appear in his work. Glitter, gold leaf and even diamond dust sit alongside stark medical imagery, creating a fascinating tension between what lies beneath the skin and the sparkle we use to present ourselves to the world. Bold colour is central to his practice, an influence he traces back to Pop Art, and for Romano, colour is inseparable from life itself. It is a celebration of being alive, of being human. You can easily imagine his work echoing the iconic glamour of Andy Warhol’s portraits of Marilyn, and being sought after by collectors and celebrities alike.
Research plays a vital role in his creative process. Romano spends countless hours studying historical anatomical drawings, medical imagery and scientific material. He is also deeply inspired by documentaries about the Universe. Reflecting on humanity’s origins and our place within something so vast can feel overwhelming, he admits, but it is precisely that sense of scale that fuels his creativity. Big questions, after all, lead to bold ideas.
At the core of his practice is an ongoing, almost forensic exploration of his own body. Each project focuses on a different internal element, analysed, reimagined and transformed. His most recent work centres on the brain: a three-dimensional print created from an MRI scan converted into a digital 3D file. Next, he hopes, will be the heart—both literally and conceptually.
Romano cites Damien Hirst as a key influence, particularly in terms of colour, though he is careful to stress that his admiration is selective. If he could own any artwork, Guido Reni’s Ecce Homo would be high on the list, while in the contemporary world he is drawn to the visceral, energetic paintings of Riccardo Cinalli, which he describes as full of carnality and pathos.
Originally trained as an architect, Romano brings a strong sense of proportion, balance and material awareness to his art. Architecture taught him the emotional power of simplicity, the relationship between order and chaos, and the importance of restraint. “Less is more,” he says, echoing Mies van der Rohe—a philosophy that underpins even his most glittering works.
Away from the studio, his passions are quieter but no less revealing. If he weren’t an artist, he would be a botanist. He grows flowers from seed and finds the process meditative—a gentle counterpoint to the intensity of his conceptual work. Electronic music provides the soundtrack to his studio hours, while Stephen Hawking’s The Universe in a Nutshellremains his favourite book, a fitting choice for an artist fascinated by existence, origin and meaning.
Looking ahead, Romano dreams of showing his work in unconventional settings. A techno club such as Berghain, housed in a former power station, feels like a natural fit—raw, industrial and immersive. He imagines his pieces on a monumental scale, backlit like giant lightboxes, vibrating with sound and energy. He has already made an international impact, having spent three months working in Shanghai, and his ambitions continue to expand globally.
Ask him where he sees himself in ten years and the answer is simple and quietly confident: at home, making exciting new work for another exhibition somewhere in the world, tea in hand, surrounded by plants. Always moving forward. Always creating.
It’s All Hanky Panky as the London Fetish Film Festival Returns
It is all hanky-panky as the London Fetish Film Festival returns for its seventh year, once again lifting the curtain on a world that many people are curious about, some quietly participate in, and others still regard as taboo. Fetish, after all, has always occupied that fascinating space between the private and the performative, the misunderstood and the mythologised.
Long before hashtags and streaming platforms, Madonna helped drag fetish culture into the mainstream. In the 1990s she didn’t just flirt with provocation; she weaponised it. Her song Hanky Panky cheekily suggested there was nothing quite like a good spanking, while her 1992 book Sex boldly invited readers to explore fantasies ranging from bondage and domination to submission and exhibitionism. What had once been whispered about behind closed doors was suddenly glossy, photographed, and unapologetically public. Madonna didn’t just shock — she reframed desire as something to be examined rather than hidden, daring readers to “make love in Paris” or “let her be your mistress”.
Then came Fifty Shades of Grey, which flew off bookshop shelves and dominated bestseller lists. Its story of a young woman entering a sexually dominant relationship with a billionaire reignited debates about power, consent, and feminism. Critics argued it set women’s liberation back decades, yet the reality was more nuanced. I couldn’t help noticing how many women were reading it openly — on trains, on planes, in cafés — suggesting that whatever the book’s flaws, it tapped into something real and widespread.
50 shades spanking .
It’s often said that one in three of us has a submissive side. But I’ve always wondered: if the dominant figure in Fifty Shades lived in a council flat rather than a penthouse, would the story have been as romanticised? Or would he have been slapped, arrested, or both? Wealth and aesthetics, it seems, can dramatically change how power dynamics are perceived.
Of course, fetish itself is nothing new. Evidence of flagellation, bondage, and erotic imagery can be traced back to cave drawings, ancient Egypt, and the Roman Empire, who were particularly enthusiastic when it came to indulgence. Some argue certain fetishes may stem from childhood trauma, but that’s a conversation for another article entirely.
Like many people coming of age in the 1990s, I wore the leather trousers and biker jacket, blissfully unaware that I was echoing a long-standing visual language of rebellion and desire well thats what I tell people . Clubs embraced biker and fetish aesthetics, encouraging people to explore what was often described as their “forbidden side”. London saw nights like Torture Garden spring up at venues such as the Hoist, while across the Atlantic the New York gay scene was already miles ahead. The Eagle, with its hyper-masculine leather culture in the 70s and 80s, set a template that still influences fetish spaces today.
I once thought of myself as very liberal and worldly — until Florida taught me otherwise. In a celebrity-frequented club with a strong fetish theme, people dressed as if they’d stepped straight out of Madonna’s Sex era or a George Michael video, playing with master-and-slave imagery. Much of it felt like cosplay: people loved the look but many would run a mile if a leather daddy’s belt actually landed near them. They admired the surface without really understanding the psychology beneath it.
Tom Of Finland fantasy .
Over the years, many dominatrices have told me the same thing: a large number of their clients are men who hold immense power in everyday life — heads of companies, senior military figures, decision-makers used to absolute control. For an hour or two, giving that control away can be a profound relief. When discussed openly and practised safely, role-play can even strengthen relationships. Yet for a small section of society, this isn’t theatre at all — it’s identity.
One moment in particular floored me. A man at a club stared at me so intensely it became unsettling. My friend eventually asked him what he wanted. He vanished — or so we thought. Five minutes later, I felt something brush my ankles. Looking down, I discovered a man in a full black cat suit. My friend laughed and said, “It would happen to you.” I was told to at least stroke the poor thing. It was, quite literally, the last time I went for a pussy.
Just when you think you’ve seen it all.
Which brings me to cinema. While the Fifty Shades films were largely dismal, I was curious about what a gay equivalent might look like. After all, who didn’t fall for Alexander Skarsgård in True Blood? As a vampire who commanded worship and dismissal in equal measure, he embodied dominance with chilling ease.
The film Pillion, despite rave reviews, sadly fails on many levels to explain the dom-sub relationship. While I admire the decision to use real fetishists, it never quite lands emotionally. Ironically, it does highlight one truth often misunderstood: the submissive is frequently the one truly in control, setting boundaries and rules. Beyond that, the sex scenes are oddly cold, and I found myself more worried about the dogs tied up and left alone than anything else.
There is a brilliant dom-sub film waiting to be made. Pillion isn’t it — not an amazing love story, not a revelatory exploration — but watching Alexander Skarsgård is reason enough to give it a look. That, of course, is just my opinion. Many people are raving about it.
The film is screening as part of the London Fetish Film Festival, and I’d urge you not to take my word alone. Dive in, make up your own mind, and perhaps discover that fetish, like all good cinema, tells us as much about ourselves as it does about what’s happening on screen.
HOWL is a sexual wellness brand revolutionising intimacy through innovative sex tech
products. They leverage the power of experiential events and a viral media channel to
dismantle shame and champion pleasure.
LFFF: Shorts Session 1
Saturday 21st February
4pm
93.47min run time
Featuring 8 short films
Tickets £12
Join us for a dripping new curation of ‘Fun Fetish’ and 2024 LFFF award winning short films!
Indulgent Delights
8mins 11secsAn electrifying front row seat as burlesque performer Leila Delicious adorns her body with
glitter.
Lee in Leatherland
6mins
The speaker, a queer man searching for the hypermasculine fantasy figures drawn by Tom
of Finland, journeys from Helsinki to London in pursuit of desire made flesh. In Vauxhall’s
clubs and darkrooms, he encounters the sweaty, neon-lit world of gay nightlife – full of
longing, bravado, and disappointment.
Darwin Fantasia
10mins 56secs
Canela immerses herself in Darwin’s studies on the plant world, focusing particularly on The
Fertilisation of Orchids. As she explores the meticulous accounts of interactions between
plants and insects, she discovers something that goes beyond mere survival: a web of
curiosity, play, and pleasure that also seems to captivate the naturalist himself.
2024 Award Winners: Best Short + Best Screenplay
A Pacific Touch
37mins 43secs
This is a story about love. Isolation, and an unusual obsession. Alexei , a young man,
becomes consumed by his passion for his new wallpaper, slowly withdrawing from the world
outside. As he drifts deeper into his fixation, Texture Pasifique explores the limits of love and
obsession, revealing the complexities of intimacy with both people and objects.
Jacked Out
7mins 53secs
What is a virtual pet in an era of mass surveillance? Jack out of the Y2KAGE in this erotic
hauntology film probing the persistent feedback loops of future’s past in our present, forces
of technological dominance, and virtual pets unleashed!
2024 Award Winners: Best Animation
Klimax
2min 47secs
Klimax explores the topic of female masturbation in order to redefine the already negatively
connoted image of the female sex and thus strives to create new aesthetic associations of
femininity. Our main protagonist, Barbie, undergoes a process of transformation.
My Perfect Dolly
17mins
A pretty pink dollification scene with two non-binary plus size femmes, followed by a
conversation.
Lupae x Hardwerk4mins 37secs
LFFF: Shorts Session 2
Saturday 21st February
6:30pm
Full run time with interval 149.24mins
Featuring 20 short films
Tickets £15
Join us for a dripping new curation of Kink Art, Fetish Horror and 2024 LFFF award winning
short films!
The Nest
7mins
It’s the first night he’s bringing someone home. They must be quiet.
2024 Award Winners: Best Edit
What if I Told You to
4mins 21secs
Official music video
2024 Award Winners: Best Comedy
Squeegee
10mins 54secs
A high-powered businesswoman meets a high-rise window-washer for an erotic rendezvous
on opposite sides of her skyscraper window.
Fetish
21mins
Oddball Clark meets the girl of his dreams, but the relationship is threatened by his foot
fetish.
2024 Award Winners: Best Production Design
The Debutante
14mins 35secs
When a young woman agrees to satisfy a peculiar request in exchange for a luxurious pair of
shoes, what begins as a simple act of submission soon spirals out of, and then into, control –
reshaping her identity and his shoe collection.
Guro
7minsIn the harsh Arctic landscape of Longyearbyen, Guro meets a mysterious client for a
straightforward transaction. However, as they travel together along the isolated, icy roads,
the client makes an unusual request that tests Guro in unexpected ways.
Virgin X – Billionaires
2mins 18secs
Official music video
20 MINS INTERVAL
Operotica: Stabat Mater
4mins 22secs
A music video for Operotica’s re-orchestration of the first movement of Pergolesi’s Stabat
Mater, featuring Operotica as latex-clad nuns, rigged together with shibari by Dominatrix
Veronica Viper. The awkwardness of their positioning reflects the close suspensions in the
music
Virgin X – Splinters
3mins 25secs
Official music video
Bath Bomb
9mins 55secs
A possessive doctor prepares an ostensibly romantic bath for his narcissistic boyfriend, but
after an accusation of infidelity, things take a deeply disturbing turn.
2024 Award Winners: Best Sound Design
Mutations of Desire
5mins 27secs
A queer tribute to the Cronenberg film, Deadringers. Sade and Odette create a disorienting
world of latex, strange medical instruments, and hallucination.
Woman ASMR
4mins 25secs
A woman and her microphone provide an erotic autonomous sensory meridian response.
Virgin X – Shame
3mins 48secs
Official music video
2024 Award Winners: Yes it’s F*cking Political
Dori Dori
3mins 39secs
In a world that tries to suppress who you are, Sara ATH shows
us that the soul can’t be caged and takes a stand against the shame and silencing of her
fellow queers. Rapping in Arabic, it’s her turn on the mic to sing out loud who she is and howproud she is – a rebellious act that may bar her from ever returning to her home country.
Symbolising the internal battles of accepting your sexuality and grappling with self-identity,
the music video explores the liberation and eventual acceptance of queer existence and how
‘orgasmic’ this enlightenment feels.
Vanessa
5mins
Making love to an inanimate body; the mannequin Vanessa.
2024 Award Winners: Best Costume + Best Music Video
Virgin X – Fuck Myself
3mins 23secs
Official music video
Hyperion
1min 44secs
Hyperion is a high order penitentiary complex. Walls rewrite identity, silence reshapes desire,
and every exit demands transformation. No one leaves Hyperion, at least not without
fundamentally changing themselves.
Blood – Humanification
1min
An intriguing creature seems to have fallen from the sky, confused and unmoored. It will
witness how its passage through Earth shapes its body and its identity, and how, slowly, we
all end in the same cage when we betray ourselves. Even the most rare and bizarre can be
shaped to humanity. No one escapes.
2024 Award Winners: Best Kink Moment (Human Chopping Board)
Thing
10mins 50secs
The everyday life of a mistress and her furniture slave. When he suddenly disappears, they
find themselves in an identity crisis.
Moan
8mins 38secs
Framed against a blood red haze of stark crimson backdrops, the conclusive short film
MOAN presents a visually penetrating feast. The ultimate climactic crescendo sees
unsuspecting strangers thrust into the throws of breath-slick tension, curdling curiosity
ultimately ending in a hypnotic descent of all-consuming indulgent, auditory stimulation.
Throbbing suspense, washed out groans and the illicit breathy moans staining the lips of
those who dare pick up the phone. The voice, wet, sticky and intoxicatingly close.LFFF: Documentaries
Sunday 22nd February
2:30pm
83.33mins runtime
Tickets £10
Sex in Colour: Kinky and Loving It
48mins 33secs
KINKY AND LOVING IT is an empowering documentary highlighting the transformative
potential of reclamation. Celebrating how Black folks reclaim agency over their desires,
bodies, and identities, KINKY AND LOVING IT is a liberating journey into the transformative
power of radical acceptance, reclamation, and love within Black kink.
Mr. Bound & Gagged
35mins
“Bob Wingate and Lee Clauss, former publishers of the legendary Bound & Gagged
magazine, open the archive and the floodgates in this richly layered excavation of queer
kink, media history, and erotic resistance. Set against the backdrop of the Leather Archives
& Museum in Chicago, this candid portrait splices salacious nostalgia with radical politics,
tracing decades of defiant desire, artistic transgression, and unapologetic love. A necessary
tribute to two aging icons of the underground.
” (CUFF32)
LFFF: Inside Fetish
Sunday 22nd February
4:30pm
92.43mins runtime
Tickets £12
On The Erotics Of Stuffing Large Objects Into Small Spaces
15mins
Aexperimental film about the submissive desire for restrictive bondage. The subject – a single figure
locked in a dog crate, hooded and caged – shares his internal monologue: “This cage will never be
comfortable, though I find it deeply comforting.
Ripples: Libra
5mins 36secs
A Shibari short from Director Guillaume Pin
Oasis6mins 34secs
Shot with super8 camera in the desert of Joshua Tree , this film is about a Gay Asian Cowboy
reconnecting with a version of his younger self via ropes.
Breakfast Time
17mins 58secs
A raw, intimate documentary about a queer pup eating breakfast from his dog bowl. As he eats, a
candid voiceover unfolds – reflections on the nature of desire and disgust, failed relationships,
encounters with gay-bashing, and the feeling of isolation that comes along with stigmatized desire.
Sanguine
4mins 54secs
A love letter to blood accompanied by seraphic, breathy music. Beau Flex (they/them) meditates on
the strength of flesh in this ritualistic solo scene. Engaging in self piercing play, Beau focuses on
coaxing blood out of their thigh, producing round ruby droplets. As they smear the blood upon their
skin, they smile at the release in their art.
Babyblue
4mins 27scs
An exploration of tenderness and catharsis through needle play. Shot on Finn’s last day in New York
City, this performance symbolises goodbyes and a rite of passage to mark their way back home.
σάρξ [Sarx]
1min 59secs
A masochist mortification of the flesh. A perversion of prayer.
A.S.F.R. (alt.sex.fetish.robots.)
5mins
Vudhi K., a Thai ASFR practitioner, recounts the process of transformation and the moment his fetish
first took hold. A memory, a primal scene, a mercurial awakening. The drag of a brush against skin
blurs the boundary between subject and object, drone and human. Featuring performers Damian
Dragon and Botan Peony.
2024 Award Winners: Best Director
The Pleasure in Pain
18mins 28secs
An arthouse short documentary following key figures of the London kink scene on an exploration into
BDSM and the notorious fetish event Klub Verboten. The film touches upon themes of psychology,
trauma, LGBTQ+ rights and black representation.
2024 Award Winners: Best Documentary
Lasting Marks
14mins 47secs
The story of a group of men with shared sexual desires, lucky to have found each other yet
unfortunate to be considered criminal for expressing them.LFFF: A Body to Live In + Short Films
Sunday 22nd February
6:30pm
122.57mins runtime
Tickets £15
2024 Award Winners: Best Performer + Best Cinematography + Festival Director’s
Choice
Subspace
20mins 18secs
This love-story being dom and sub is a BDSM film that explores the intimacy and trust
between partners.
Starring Commander Ares and Roughkicks
Dir. Matt Lambert
2024 Award Winners: Best Art Direction
The Architect
4mins 39secs
Odette Engle performing a process of inverted architectural mapping on the suspended body
of Cute But Deadly.
A Body to Live In
1hr 38mins
A BODY TO LIVE IN is a feature film that traces the life and work of legendary photographer,
performer, and “Gender Flex” cultural icon, Fakir Musafar (1930-2018). Through
investigating the body modification movement and the trajectory of Fakir’s art career and
philosophy, A BODY TO LIVE IN uncovers a riveting facet of queer history. Using Fakir’s
early experiments in body play and his photographic works from the 1940s and 50s as a
springboard, the film traces the body modification movement as it emerged in LGBT
subculture in the early 1970s. The film introduces us to early collaborative experimentation
at gay underground BDSM parties, leading to the first piercing shop, moving through the
radical faerie movement and the role of body modification during the AIDS epidemic, the
emergence of body-based performance art, and the rise of an entire subculture. Insights
from key figures including Annie Sprinkle, Ron Athey, Idexa Stern, Cléo Dubois, Jim Ward,
Midori, and others provoke deeper reflections about art making, surviving AIDS, and the
controversial collaging of various spiritual and cultural practices to build a philosophy.
Captured in static 16mm film portraits, A BODY TO LIVE IN unfolds conversationally
between Fakir’s archive of 100+ hours of unseen footage, and the voices of the canonical
elders of this movement, to create intergenerational dialog, question cultural responsibility,
and provoke larger ideas about the drive to transcend the limits of the body.Please do mention our 2026 sponsors and collaborators:
Money Matters: Your Questions Answered by Richard Andrews
Richard Andrews spent over ten years working for high-street banks, including time as a business manager supporting small businesses. Today, he runs his own company, coaching executives and individuals to help them achieve the outcomes they want. All of this gives him plenty of real-world insight to share with 2Shades readers.
I want my teenage son to learn about money. He’s 16, and his grandmother gave him £5,000—against my better advice. We support him at home and with college, and he also has a part-time job. How should I advise him to use this money? He’s already talking about holidays and clothes.
A: This is a tricky one, Brenda—because whatever approach you take, there’s a strong chance you’ll feel like the “bad guy”. That said, this is also a valuable teaching moment.
A balanced approach usually works best. Encourage him to split the money into three parts: savings, sensible future planning, and a smaller amount to enjoy now. Completely denying him any fun spending can backfire, but allowing all of it to disappear on short-term treats isn’t ideal either.
For savings, suggest putting a portion aside for something tangible and motivating—driving lessons, insurance, or even a first car. Without a clear goal, saving can feel abstract, especially to teenagers. When there’s a purpose, it suddenly becomes exciting.
There are some strong, easy-access savings options for young people. For example, the Nationwide FlexOne Saveroffers competitive interest up to a set limit, while HSBC My Savings provides tiered interest rates. Watching interest build can be a great lesson in how money works for you.
If you’re particularly worried about impulse spending, a Junior ISA could be an option. Funds are locked away until age 18, giving the money time to grow and removing temptation. Comparison sites like Money Saving Expert are useful for finding the best rates.
Ultimately, though, it is his money. If he spends more than you’d like, resist the urge to say “I told you so”. Gently guide him back towards saving and goal-setting. Those lessons tend to land better when they’re learned through experience.
Q: Buying Bitcoin as a Gift
Colin, Edinburgh
I’m thinking of buying my boyfriend Bitcoin for his birthday—he’s always talking about it. How much is too little, and how do I go about buying it?
A: That’s a generous idea, Colin—and a very modern one. It’s worth starting with a bit of context. Bitcoin is expensive and highly volatile. You don’t need to buy a whole Bitcoin; most people purchase a fraction, depending on what they’re comfortable spending.
To buy it, you’d need to open an account with a cryptocurrency exchange such as Coinbase or Crypto.com. You transfer funds in, then place a trade for the amount you want.
However, a note of caution: cryptocurrency is not protected by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme. If the platform fails or the value drops sharply, there’s no safety net.
Personally, I tend to avoid crypto due to its price swings, so it’s not something I’d actively recommend. But as a gift, especially for someone who understands and enjoys the space, a modest amount can make sense. Think of it more as a speculative present than a traditional investment.
Q: Teaching Children to Save and Invest
Paula, Southend
What was your earliest way of saving? I want to teach my children how to save and invest.
A: Paula, this is a brilliant question—and you’re doing your children a huge favour by thinking about this early.
I’ll be honest: I wasn’t good at saving when I was younger, and I’ve spent a lot of time catching up. The key lesson I’ve learned is that habits formed early matter enormously.
Simple methods work best. A child’s savings account, a piggy bank or jar for coins, and regular conversations about money can be incredibly effective. Counting coins, bagging them up, and taking them to the bank helps children see money as something real and manageable.
Goals are essential. Help your child save towards something—a toy, an experience, or a future plan. Saving feels far more meaningful when it leads to something tangible.
There are also child-friendly banking apps that allow kids to track savings and spending, though some come with monthly fees—so check whether they’re actually adding value. And don’t forget Junior ISAs, which lock money away until age 18 and can be a powerful long-term tool.
Q: Premium Bonds vs Lottery Tickets
Are Premium Bonds a better investment than buying lottery tickets?
A: In short—yes, but they’re not the same thing.
Lottery tickets are gambling. Once the money’s spent, it’s gone. Premium Bonds, on the other hand, are a form of saving. You can invest from £25 up to £50,000, and you can withdraw your money if you need it.
Instead of interest, you’re entered into monthly prize draws. I’ve had a few wins myself, and in some cases they’ve outperformed traditional savings accounts. That said, for consistent growth, using your tax-free ISA allowance is often a better option.
Q: Saving for a Holiday Without Spending It
Mark Brighton
I want to save for a holiday in June, but I’m hopeless with money. How do I save and stop myself dipping into it?
A: Mark —you’re definitely not alone. This comes down to two things: control and motivation.
Start with a simple budget planner so you know exactly what’s coming in and going out. Separate essentials from “nice-to-haves” and work out what you can realistically save each month. Many banks offer budgeting tools and savings “pots” within their apps—Monzo and Virgin Money are good examples.
If self-control is the biggest issue, you need to tackle the why. What triggers the spending? And what would you rather have more: a short-term splurge, or that holiday in June?
Another practical option is paying for holidays in instalments. easyJet holidays, for example, allows you to secure a trip with a small deposit and pay the rest over time—interest-free. TUI and others offer similar schemes.
2Shades is delighted to announce the National Union of Professional Foster Cares as a sponsor of The Autism Hero Awards .
2Shades is delighted to announce the National Union of Professional Foster Carers (NUPFC) as a sponsor of this year’s Autism Hero Awards, supporting the Parent / Carer of the Year category.
The NUPFC is the only government-certified trade union in the UK dedicated exclusively to supporting foster carers, kinship carers, special guardians, and adopters. Its mission is clear: to ensure carers are informed, protected, and properly supported as they provide care for some of the most vulnerable children in society.
What sets the NUPFC apart is its depth of lived experience. Its specialist caseworkers — available 365 days a year — include current and former foster carers alongside retired social workers. This hands-on understanding allows the organisation to offer practical, empathetic guidance rooted in real-world challenges. A strong legal team further ensures members are never left navigating complex systems alone.
Caring for children who have experienced emotional harm or additional challenges can be demanding and emotionally complex. The NUPFC works closely with professionals around each child, helping to ensure carers — and in turn, the children themselves — receive the support, advocacy, and understanding they deserve.
Many children within the care system are autistic, while many others remain undiagnosed. The NUPFC actively promotes early diagnosis, recognising that timely understanding can make a profound difference to a child’s wellbeing, access to support, and long-term outcomes.
By sponsoring the Parent / Carer of the Year category at the Autism Hero Awards, the NUPFC is shining a light on the resilience, commitment, and quiet heroism of carers. This partnership not only celebrates individual achievement but also raises wider awareness of autism and caring within professional circles and among key decision-makers.
Robin Findlay, Founder and General Secretary of the National Union of Professional Foster Carers, said:
“Anna Kennedy’s tireless campaigning continues to raise awareness of the many strengths, talents, and contributions that autistic people bring to our communities. We are proud to support the Autism Hero Awards and to stand alongside Anna Kennedy Online in encouraging autistic people, and their parents and carers, to seek support when needed, build confidence, and achieve great things.”
Anna Kennedy OBE added:
“We are absolutely delighted to welcome the National Union of Professional Foster Carers as sponsors of the Autism Hero Awards. Their commitment to carers and families aligns closely with our values, and we look forward to working together to celebrate autistic individuals and recognise the dedication of those who support them every day.”
Clare McSweeney is back, sharing her latest expert tips and answering your questions on all things aesthetics.
As we begin to shake off winter, many of us are left with skin that looks tired, dull, and in need of a little TLC. Seasonal changes can play havoc with hydration, texture, and glow — but the good news is there are plenty of ways to refresh your skin without going straight for injectables.
Clare’s Top Five Tips for Beating Tired Winter Skin
Hydration is everything – Drink plenty of water and use a good-quality hyaluronic acid serum to plump and rehydrate the skin from within.
Gentle exfoliation – Once or twice a week is enough to remove dead skin cells and bring back brightness.
Invest in active skincare – Ingredients like peptides, vitamin C, and niacinamide can make a real difference.
SPF isn’t just for summer – UV damage happens all year round, even on cloudy days.
Consistency over quick fixes – Regular, well-chosen skincare will always outperform sporadic treatments.
Q&A with Clare
Dear Clare, I have Botox and fillers and I don’t want any more. But I do want to give my skin a boost. Are peptides any good, or should I invest in good skincare? Nicky, Essex
Clare replies: Peptides are excellent and absolutely worth considering. They work by encouraging collagen production and helping the skin repair itself, which is ideal if you’re stepping away from injectables. That said, peptides work best as part of a well-rounded skincare routine. Investing in good-quality skincare — particularly a cleanser, antioxidant serum, moisturiser, and SPF — will give you longer-lasting results. Think of peptides as a powerful supporting act rather than a solo solution.
Dear Clare, How can I check that the woman I’m going to is qualified to do my Botox and other treatments? She was lovely at first, but I bruised badly last time. When I complained, she became defensive and dismissed me. Someone in my yoga group said she found out the woman wasn’t qualified and is just a doctor’s wife. What can I do? Milinda, Raleigh
Clare replies: This is such an important question. First and foremost, you have every right to ask about qualifications — a reputable practitioner will welcome this. In the UK, anyone administering injectables should be medically trained and properly insured. Ask to see their qualifications, professional registration (such as NMC or GMC), and insurance documentation. You can also check reviews, before-and-after photos, and whether they offer a full consultation with informed consent. If someone becomes defensive or dismissive, that’s a red flag. My advice would be to stop treatment with them immediately and report concerns if necessary. Your safety should always come first.
Dear Clare, I’m struggling with bags under my eyes. A friend suggested tear trough, but I’m terrified of needles near my eyes and I can’t afford cosmetic surgery. Any thoughts? Danielle, Wandsworth
Clare replies: You’re not alone — under-eye concerns are incredibly common. Tear trough filler can be effective, but it’s not the only option and certainly not something you should feel pressured into. Non-invasive treatments such as medical-grade eye creams with caffeine, peptides, and retinol can significantly improve puffiness and texture over time. Treatments like polynucleotides or skin boosters (when appropriate) can also improve the quality of the skin without adding volume. A good practitioner will always discuss alternatives and tailor a plan to your comfort level and budget.
Dear Clare, I’m a man and I like to look my best. I’m 40 and it’s time to turn back the clock — but I’m terrified of looking frozen. What would you suggest as an introduction? Roger, Brentwood
Clare replies: You’re asking exactly the right questions. For men, subtlety is key. My go-to introduction is low-dose Botox focused on areas like the frown lines rather than the forehead, combined with great skincare. The aim is to look refreshed, not “done”. Skin boosters, profhilo-style treatments, and a tailored skincare routine can also make a huge difference without changing your natural expressions. A conservative approach, gradually built up, always delivers the best results.
Clare’s Top Five Aesthetic Tips for Men
Less is more – Start conservatively and build gradually.
Focus on skin quality first – Healthy skin always looks youthful.
Avoid over-treating the forehead – Movement matters.
Don’t neglect skincare – Cleanser, moisturiser, SPF are essentials.
Choose an experienced practitioner – One who understands male facial structure.
If you have a question for Clare, keep them coming — she’s here to help you look refreshed, confident, and completely yourself. 💫
Heidi Gammon, Agony Aunt, Answers Your Valentine’s Questions
Love, desire, doubt, and the courage to speak honestly — Valentine’s Day has a way of stirring emotions we sometimes keep carefully tucked away. Whether you’re navigating friendship, long-term relationships, new love, or loneliness, these questions remind us that matters of the heart are rarely straightforward.
You can hear Heidi Gammon, alongside Steven Smith and Aston Avery, discussing these real-life dilemmas on Gateway Radio on February 10th at 10am, with the full show available to catch up on YouTube shortly after.
Dear Heidi,
I hope you are well.
My best friend of twelve years is gay. We’ve known each other since high school, and his sexuality has never been an issue for me or my family — we love him unconditionally. Over the years he’s had various partners, but nothing serious.
Two months ago, after we’d been drinking, he kissed me and told me he loved me. I honestly don’t know why I let it happen. It stopped there, and we’ve never spoken about it since.
Looking back, I think I may have been in denial. He’s always had a crush on me, and I’m now worried that this might be stopping him from meeting someone who can truly return his feelings. There is no chance of it being reciprocal, but I feel I need to talk to him — for both our sakes. What should I say?
All my love,
Adam, Brentwood
Dear Adam,
Thank you for trusting me with something so sensitive.
What stands out most here is how much care and respect you have for your friend — and that matters. Love doesn’t always fit neatly into boxes, and sometimes unspoken feelings linger quietly until they surface in unexpected ways.
You didn’t do anything wrong by freezing in the moment. Alcohol lowers boundaries, but it doesn’t create feelings that weren’t already there. What does matter is what you do next.
Avoiding the conversation protects neither of you. The kindest thing you can do is speak honestly and gently. Choose a calm moment and tell him that you value him deeply, but that your feelings are firmly platonic. Reassure him that your friendship matters and that you don’t want him holding onto hope that prevents him from finding someone who can fully return his love.
It may feel awkward — but clarity is an act of love too. You’re the best Heidi
Dear Heidi,
My boyfriend of four years really looks forward to Valentine’s Day. Each year he buys me gifts from Ann Summers and similar places. While he always takes me out to dinner, the evening usually ends with him wanting to dress up, role-play, and act out fantasies.
I think our relationship is loving and generally good. I do go along with some dressing up at times, but I feel like I’m not giving him what he really wants — and if I’m honest, the focus on “dress-up time” at Valentine’s is actually off-putting for me.
What can I do? Stella Southend
Dear Stella
Long-term relationships often stumble when desire becomes an expectation rather than a shared experience.
Your boyfriend’s enthusiasm isn’t wrong — but your discomfort isn’t either. Valentine’s Day has somehow become loaded with pressure, particularly around sex and fantasy, when it should be about connection.
This isn’t about you failing him. It’s about mismatched expectations. The answer lies in conversation, not performance. Try saying something like: “I love being close to you, but when dressing up becomes the focus, I feel pressured rather than desired.”
Intimacy thrives when both partners feel safe and excited — not obliged. If you can’t meet in the middle, it’s worth asking whether this dynamic works for you long term.
Hi Heidi,
I love your column.
My mum is 55 and looks great. My dad left when I was 12, and she hasn’t really met anyone since. I’m 19 now and leaving home in September, and I’d love for her to meet someone.
She insists she’s fine and tells me to leave it, but I worry about her being lonely. There’s a man who works for the council who’s been to the flat a few times to do jobs. She always smiles at him and makes him a cup of tea. He’s divorced and around her age.
Should I try to set them up? I sometimes see him at my gym.
Thanks, Darren, Basildon
Dear Darren,
Your concern for your mum is genuinely touching — but tread carefully.
Loneliness looks different at every age, and contentment doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Your mum may truly be at peace with her life as it is, even if it doesn’t look like what you imagine happiness should be.
That said, a gentle nudge is fine — a shove is not. Instead of playing matchmaker, open a conversation. Ask her how she feels about dating now, not what she’s missed in the past.
And one important rule: never involve a third party without consent. If she does express interest in meeting someone, you can mention the council worker — lightly — and then step back.
Let her lead. Love, at any age, deserves dignity.
Dear Heidi,
I’m in my sixties, gay, and single. I don’t like bars or dating apps, and the idea of going on a date makes me feel physically sick.
What can I do?
Mike, Romford
Dear Mike,
You are far from alone — and nothing is “wrong” with you.
Dating culture can feel exhausting, performative, and frankly brutal, especially if bars and apps don’t suit your personality. The good news? They’re not the only doors into connection.
Consider spaces built around shared interests rather than romance: walking groups, book clubs, volunteering, community classes, or LGBTQ+ social groups that aren’t centred on nightlife.
Connection grows more naturally when the focus isn’t dating but being. And remember — companionship doesn’t always begin with fireworks. Sometimes it begins with comfort.
Love Heidi
Dear Heidi,
I’m taking my new girlfriend out for our first Valentine’s Day together. I try to be a good boyfriend — I open doors, pick her up, and help out whenever she needs something done at her place.
But I’m honestly terrible at the romantic side. Flowers, yes — but beyond that, I’m stuck. What can I do to make Valentine’s Day feel truly special?
Eric, Brighton
Dear Eric,
You may not realise it, but you’re already doing many things right.
Romance isn’t about grand gestures or perfect scripts. It’s about thoughtfulness. The most memorable Valentine’s moments are rarely expensive — they’re personal.
Think about her. What makes her feel seen? A handwritten note. A playlist. A meal you cook yourself. A walk somewhere meaningful. Even saying, “I’m nervous because I really care” can be incredibly romantic.
Romance isn’t performance — it’s intention.
Heidi
Hello Heidi,
My husband and I have been married for twelve years. Recently, he suggested spicing things up by having a threesome. He says he doesn’t mind whether it’s with a man or a woman.
If I’m honest, the idea does appeal to me — but I’m scared it could either strengthen our marriage or completely ruin it.
Are there ground rules I should put in place? Or is this a bad idea altogether? I’ve told him I need time to think about it.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I’m glad you didn’t rush into an answer.
A threesome is not just a sexual experience — it’s an emotional one, and once a third person enters the picture, there’s no “undo” button.
Before discussing rules, ask deeper questions. Why does your husband want this? What does it represent for him — novelty, validation, curiosity? And equally important: what does it represent for you?
If you decide to explore it, boundaries are essential: who, when, emotional limits, aftercare, and the right to stop at any time — even at the last minute.
But if your gut says “this might damage us,” listen to it. Desire should never come at the cost of safety or trust.
2Shades Magazine 