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Steven’s Viewz September column. 

Why I am with Esther Rantzen when it comes to euthanasia being allowed in the UK

Inspirational Esther Rantzen and the incredible Martin Annand

News of the controversial suicide pod being used for the first time in Switzerland really caught my attention. The device allows the person in it to take their own life by pressing a button. The concern, even in Switzerland where euthanasia is legal, is that the pod functions without medical assistance. 

It also triggered a memory of when I was asked to take a friend to Switzerland, and I nearly did…

It was a beautiful sunny day and my former partner, of twenty years and friend for twenty more Martin Annand and I were sitting in the leafy London Garden opposite where he lived. 

He squeezed my hand and said, 

“Steven, please take me to Switzerland, let’s arrange it today.” 

The wonderful Martin Annand RIP 20th Of February 1944 – 9th of August 2021

We had been up most of the night. Martin had been in agony; he was terminally ill with cancer that had moved into the spine. He had sailed through hormone treatment and apart from the odd hiccup, chemotherapy had been giving us hope that a miracle would happen or at least extended his life, but we had had some bad news, and the chemotherapy had stopped working. He had moved on to radiotherapy and that was a whole new ball game. The illness was turning him quickly into a shell of himself. 

Coming soon.

Helping was a battle as his new partner was unreasonable, a bully and often hysterical. I was up against people who were all “experts. A distant relative thought running a ball up and down his spine and getting him to exercise was good, but would not look at the actual fact that it was the worst thing you could do for cancer in the spine.

All through his illness I was absolutely determined to stay stoic and a rock, not the hysterical mess I was in private. Too often I have seen people make their friend or partner’s illness be about them, with the poor soul consoling them. Now his current partner had taken two weeks holiday and reluctantly left me to look after him. It was an ideal time to take Martin to Switzerland.

However, it was hard at this point to hold back the tears. 

“Is that what you really want?” I asked him.

He had clearly done his homework and knew the price and exactly where to go. Pulling myself together and looking into his beautiful blue eyes I promised I would if he just gave it one more week. The doctors had said at the Royal Brompton that the night burns were quite a common side effect that should pass. 

Holding him in the shower and as he lay shaking in bed, I would have done anything to ease his pain. Assurances that this phase would pass, and that the treatment would allow him more time encouraged us to push on. 

To this day I am so sorry that I did not take him whilst he could still get on a plane. The horror that he endured no human being should go through. Why do we let a dog in distress die in dignity, yet our loves ones have to suffer? The religious right will tell you It is not God’s wish. Some God if he wants us to suffer.

“Suffer to come unto me “. Well, I cannot make sense of that.  It is time to allow those with no hope of living without excruciating pain to die on their own terms.

By the second week it was too painful for Martin to travel in a taxi let alone fly.  Then the current partner arrived back, and all was lost on the idea of euthanasia.

When there really is no hope, it is time to be kind and allow the terminally sick some release.  Next time someone I love asks me, I’ll do it on the spot.  I truly hope that if I were in that much pain with no chance of recovery that someone would do the same for me. 

Me with Martin Annand a man who lived life to its full

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/why-we-need-change/dignitas/

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

“Do not look back in anger” I can’t wait for Oasis to be back on!

https://oasisinet.com


If there is one thing that bemuses me it’s being put in a box because of my sexuality. 

As a gay man I have heard it all over the years, including the presumption that I must be filled with excitement that Kylie is touring next year. No! I honestly would not cross the road to watch her, and I find “Padam Padam” one of the most irritating songs of all time.

Sure, she has a huge gay following. I remember two gay men jumping with excitement in the changing room of the gym exclaiming, “Oh my God we are seeing Kyle tonight, she’s such a survivor! ” And that was before the breast cancer. I have heard she is a lovely person, but she’s just not my taste in music. 

Later at the Troubadour café the waiter enquired if me and my partner were going to see Kylie. After replying definitely not, he smiled and said, “Good to hear it, have a drink on me!” 

Kylie nice lady but not for me https://www.kylie.com

Sure, I like Madonna; she is a true artist. Now Bowie, Lou Reed, Nina Simon or a night at the Royal Opera are my tastes in music. 

What I am excited about is Oasis coming back. Liam Gallagher is brightly funny and a night out with him would be way up on my list rather than the gay Divas of music. Oasis marks an era, and a generation of people want to celebrate the band and re- live that experience for just for one night.

Their music is original, and they are a dying breed of rock star. The Manchester lads may not be the wild boys of the past, but every time Liam pops up on a show, he makes me laugh and he is by far a much better interview than most. 

That’s what entertainment is all about. My friend Pam I know not to dare ring during the football or come to that rugby, cricket, darts season, tiddlywinks… If for a moment music, sport or something else can transport you to a happy place or bring a beautiful memory back to life for you, then whatever gives you that enjoyment is your business. 

I, of course, respect everyone who can’t get Kylie “out of their head”, but come on, Liam and Noel are really something to get excited about. 

https://www.troubadourlondon.com

‘Definitely Maybe’ – Deluxe 30th Anniversary Editions

Autism’s Got Talent 

Yes, it is that time of year again so please come see me and 2shades columnist Dr Anna Kennedy OBE on 12th October at the Mermaid theatre. Gateways Radio Aston Avery will be one of the main presenters introducing some incredible acts.  

This star-studded spectacular show will showcase amazingly talented performances by adults and children with autism. The performers, which consist of singers, actors, musicians, magicians, poets and dance troupes, will fly the flag for autism and show what people with autism are capable of. Autism’s Got Talent provides a platform and fantastic opportunity to replace negative aspects with hope, fun, laughter and inclusion. This showcase is unique to any other project across the world.

Most of the acts have springboarded into exclusive opportunities. The audience feels a rare emotion of hope and belonging, part of a unique network, and understanding that anything is possible. Every year promises a showcase of a wide variety of performers. In previous years, there has been a stand-up performer, harpist, rapper, young author, acclaimed ballet dancer, opera singer.

Presenting this year Aston Avery Gateway radio host .

The concept of Autism’s Got Talent is based solely on inclusion, and there needs to be more, which is why we have started roadshows. Autism’s Got Talent is an annual event that grows in popularity each year and has firmly cemented its status as a leading charity and autism event.

Dr Anna Kennedy OBE and me .

Supported in the past by celebrities including Kacey Ainsworth, Richard Mylan, Dame Esther Rantzen, Carrie and David Grant, Debbie Moore OBE, the late Ian Royce, Dr Pam Spurr, Mitch Winehouse, Loose Women Star Denise Welch, Caprice, Luke Friend, Tony Discipline (BBC Eastenders), and Emma Noble.

Autism’s Got Talent

Autism’s Got Talent

Date: October 12th, 7:00-10:30PM

The Mermaid
2 Puddle Dock
London EC4V 3DB

Finally it is just wonderful to see that “Body Dysmorphia ” in reverse is alive and well.

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/married-at-first-sight-uk

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Columns Health and Fitness Lifestyle People

Anna Kennedy takes a time out and talks school

Dr. Anna Kennedy OBE gives her advice and answer readers questions in her 2Shades  column
https://annakennedyonline.com

Hello Anna!

Welcome back! What were your school days like?

I went to a Catholic school in the Northeast. Little did I know my husband Sean also was at the same school. Primary School were good and bad days for me and I enjoyed some lessons not all. Many of the nuns at the school were too strict and would not get away with caning across your knuckles or hand for talking too much!

If you happen to be late for school, you had to stand under the crucifix for 30 minutes at the end of the day and pray. 

We were often also given many lines to write if no one owned up for example: A pupil threw a rubber at the Maths teacher whilst he was writing on the blackboard. I remember we had to write 100 times ‘Rubbers rub they do not fly!’

Dear Anna.  

Please, I am at the end of the line with my 14 year old son. He was expelled last year for being disruptive in class. Now the school have written to me and said he cannot come back. James was diagnosed with Autism and attention disorder at 13. What can I do? Is there a right to appeal or should I find a school that is more suited to his needs? James is super bright and was in line to take exams 

Many thanks 
Diana Waterford

Dear Diana,

Thank you for your email. You do have the right to challenge your son’s exclusion, and the school should have informed you of this process when the exclusion occurred. The following government guidance may be helpful, if your son attended a maintained school or an Academy:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-exclusion

If you believe your son was excluded due to a disability-related reason, you can separately make a claim of disability discrimination to the First-tier Tribunal before the school process concludes. 

More information can be found here:

https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-school/disability-discrimination

If the Tribunal rules in your favour, it can order actions that put your son in the position he would have been in if the discrimination hadn’t occurred, which could include reinstating him in the school.

Lastly, it’s important to ensure that all your son’s special educational needs are identified and met. If you haven’t done so already, you may want to apply for an Education, Health and Care (EHC) needs assessment.

This is the first step towards securing an EHC Plan (EHCP). The test for starting this assessment is whether your son may need a level of special educational provision that is only available through an EHCP. Given what you have said, this may possibly be the case.

Dear Anna,  

Hello love the column. My daughter lives with Autism, and she is a great singer and just so loveable. My ex-husband won’t hear about it and said I am indulging her and encouraging her to be different. I am looking for a school that caters to her needs even its a private school or theatre My parents are happy to. pay. My ex is trying to block it and threatening to take me back to court if I remove her from her present school that I do not feel caters to her needs. What can I do?

All my best 
Stephany Wimbledon 

Dear Stephany,

Thank you for reaching out and for your kind words about the column. I spoke to my husband Sean who supports the charity, and this is his area of expertise. It does sounds like you’re in a difficult situation.

My husband Sean shares:

Sean Kennedy

If your daughter has an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP), section 51 of the Children and Families Act 2014 gives you the right to challenge any part of the EHCP, including the school placement, even though a Tribunal if necessary. 

This right cannot be interfered with by other courts. While your ex-husband is entitled to express his views to the Tribunal, he cannot prevent you from exercising this right. However, your daughter’s opinions will also carry weight, particularly depending on her age and if she has capacity.

It is certainly an unfortunate situation. If your ex-husband is threatening to take this matter to the Family Courts and your daughter does not currently have an EHCP, I would strongly advise seeking legal advice from a family law specialist.

We both wish you all the best in navigating this,

Best Wishes,
Anna

Dear Anna, 

I am a big fan of yours and have been living all my life with various issues, it was my 16th birthday last week my mum held a party and I am not real social so I found it embarrassing and in the end  it was more about her. She even got drunk and went on and on about how proud she is of me- even with all my little ways. There was about five of my friends from school there with the rest of the mums. Anna I just want to leave home and get away from her. What should I tell her and is there any organisations that helps kids like me escape?

Blair Luton 

Dear Blair,

Thank you for reaching out and Happy 16th Birthday. Have you spoken to your mum about how you feel? Is there a relative that you can confide in about how you are feeling?

Parenting an autistic teen can be challenging for parents, so it’s important to seek support from other parents, support groups, or professionals who specialise in autism.

Are there any local support groups near to where you live? Leaving home is a huge step and you need to be well prepared and safe as a vulnerable young person. I hope things improve for you very soon and your relationship with your mum also improves.

Sending best wishes,
Anna

Has the interview selection for Colleges and Universities changes to aid those diagnosed on the autism spectrum? 

Colleges and universities are required to comply with the  Equality Act 2010. This means that if an individual with a statutory disability faces disadvantages during the interview process due to the effects of their disability, the institution must take reasonable steps to avoid these disadvantages.

For clarity, a statutory disability is defined in section 6, the Equality Act 2010. This section defines disability as a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on a person’s ability to perform normal day-to-day activities. To qualify, the impairment must significantly impact the individual’s ability to carry out activities that are considered normal for most people (including work and university study) and must have lasted, or be expected to last, at least 12 months.

It is important to note that conditions such as ADHD and ASD are not automatically classified as statutory disabilities, though they may be. The key consideration is how these conditions impact the individual. It follows that what are known as reasonable adjustments are specific to the individual. Importantly the university or college needs to be informed of any impairments before the section process.

While universities and colleges are not required to lower the competency levels expected of students, they must provide adjustments to the interview process where necessary.

There is a lot more to the Equality Act, but I trust this provides a useful overview and is, my husband has confirmed, is accurate.

Thank you,
Anna 

Please sponsor Autism’s Got talent for just £500 https://annakennedyonline.com/sponsoring-agt/

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Columns Health and Fitness Lifestyle People

I grow a beard ( Is it the latest trend ?)

https://www.grahammartinphotography.co.uk

As the singer Kelis would say, “Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”. One thing that will always bring many howling to the yard is a man with facial hair or, at the very least, that five o’clock shadow. From Prince William to David Beckham the “Beard ‘is in

In the late 70’s, the clones with their check shirts and ’taches emulated what many gay men saw as the ultimate heterosexual man with Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds the undisputed poster boys. And let’s not forget the fantasy images of Tom of Finland. 

Image: Tom of Finland foundation

In my experience, much as the clones looked “hot”, what was on the lid was often not what was in the can. Many were hiding their dislike of their own sexuality by playing it pseudo straight, something that was compounded when, in New York in the 80s, I was outside the Munster Bar and a friend advised me, “Babe: if you get into any trouble scream for the drag queens. They will come running. The clones will just go hollering back into the bar.” 

Freddie Mercury brought the clone ’tache look back to life for Queen’s third studio album, “The Game” – a trend many said was inspired by the San Francisco gay clubs. The look was prevalent in London at Heaven, the Coleherne and the Earl’s Court Catacombs. Freddie is actually quoted as saying that when he looked back on all that black nail varnish, chiffon and satin, he thought, “God, what was I doing?”

The much-missed Freddie Mercury.

I recall having lunch with the late, amazing Kenny Everett and the Daily Mail journalist Lester Middlehurst in early 90s Los Angeles, when I couldn’t help but notice that both men had moustaches. Kenny was delightful and so very sweet. Still, he commented that I should really grow a ’tache. Men without them simply looked like women to him.

My partner of 18 years had a sexy ’tache, and his hair was standing up on the crown where someone had cut it too short, when I first spotted him. Devilishly handsome, I loved his ’tache. Although I’ve always remained smooth faced, I guess I always went with the theory that opposites attract. It just did not feel right to me if I missed even one day with the razor. 

Movember, the well-known charity, was behind my only attempt to grow a ’tache. One week in and friends kept asking if I had not washed. Two weeks on and it was starting to show, and though not impressive, it was there. A beautician friend of mine offered to get rid of a few nose hairs.

During the action she waxed half my newly sprouted moustache off. I let out a little shriek of horror. “WHERE’S MY MOUSTACHE GONE?” 

“Is that what that was?” came the reply.

It seems that 2020 saw an explosion of male facial hair adorning our screens. My favourite actor, Colin Farrell, makes me go weak at the knees with his Irish accent and ’tache. Eurovision, though cancelled, gave us the Russian band “Little Big”. Joining them from the gypsy Russian band “The Hatters” was Yuriy Muzychenko. 

Yuriy – “Little Big”.

Yuriy, with his many stages of facial hair, is sex on legs, as well as being uber-talented. Since “Little Big” seem to embrace the ’tache so easily, it’s a pity their stance on LGBTQ issues seems a little questionable. Tom Hardy and Jake Gyllenhaal are wearing the beard this season and it looks (as Americans would say) totally  awesome on them.

Colin Farrell. Phwoarrr.

Graham Martin, one of London’s premier LGBTQ photographers, has seen an explosion of his clients sporting facial hair. Graham, who himself wears a distinguished silver-fox goatee, tells me that half his male clientele have some sort of ’tache or beard, compared to around one in ten just five years ago. Designer stubble started sneaking in, and the odd ’tache. The demand for the more rough-and-rugged look started pushing ahead of the usually popular twink or surfer look. 

Your correspondent with Graham Martin.

It could be that the gay scene is evolving. When I first came out in the late 70s, I was told at the tender age of 16 to have fun as “you’re washed up by 25”. Nasty lies fed to me by the chicken-hawks, as they were called back then.

At one point during the groundbreaking (and sure to win every award going) “It’s a Sin”, written by Russell T Davies, two of the characters are chatting. Curtis tells Richie he slept with a man who was 36; both express their disgust. Arguably the gay scene has always been youth obsessed, with a tendency towards the Dorian Gray complex.

Still, change certainly has come upon us. The Daddies, Silver Fox and The Bear, Wolf and Well-Over-40 seem to be the new in. One Silver-Haired Daddy who is in his sixties, wearing a ’tache and beard, says he is inundated with young men wanting to meet, as well as guys his own age. All seem to love the beard.

Michael Edde is a popular barber in London’s Earl’s Court with a large gay clientele. He has seen a huge increase in beards and ’taches. 

Legendary barber Michael Deeds.

“The best way to get your beard looking good is to grow it for ten to fifteen days and have it professionally shaped”, says Michael. “Obviously during lockdown this is impossible. My recommendation is to use conditioner or beard oil, and you might try using Buddha clippers. Start with the highest gauge and work down till you get the shape you’re happy with. Many of my male clients love a beard.” 

Being on my own during lockdown, I gave up shaving for a day or two and decided I quite liked the look. The second time around I had better luck, and my ’tache seemed to come through strongly this time. I had a little help from Watermans’ “GROWME” shampoo.

https://watermanshair.com

By week four, I had a beard and a ’tache for the first time in my 59 years.

Reactions were, erm, varied. Some people burst out laughing. Two girlfriends thought I looked like a Joe Swash tribute act. But for the most part, it went down very well. Graham Martin thought it was an attribute. My ex loved it, and even my sister thought it was cool. One thing that did stand out is the fact I am ginger, and much as I have hidden this since I was 18 by dyeing my hair blond, there was no way of hiding it with the beard. Maybe in my sixth decade, embracing my red-headed Scots heritage might not be a bad thing. It has certainly been fun trying it, and it may be here to stay. 

Certainly now, I can say with conviction, “Who’s your Daddy?” 

Graham Martin photography 

https://www.menart.co.uk

Movember: charity for men’s health and suicide prevention 

https://uk.movember.com

Click here for Michael’s Barbers. 

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Culture Health and Fitness Lifestyle People

The School Bells ringing with Heidi Gammon

The queen of agony aunts is back answering your returning to school questions

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us

Catch Heidi on Gateway radio: https://www.gateway978.com/?s=Heidi+gammon+

Dear Heidi,  

My son has always been effeminate and neither my husband or myself have tried to change that. When he wanted to not do football and take up sewing (and he is good) we fully encouraged him. Now he is 15 he wants to return to school this term as a girl, going from David to Danielle. Heidi can I be honest, I am terrified for him and his safety.  The school say it is ok but my husband is against it. We just feel he is too young still what can we do? 

Diana, Sheffield. 

https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/helpline-support-services/


Hi Diana,

Thanks so much for your question, I think it is great you have always seen David for who he wants to be and fully supported him.  As with everything that should not change, and your love and protection is the number one thing he counts on.

David has made what might be seen to many as brave decision to start to transition into Danielle, and it can be a confusing and frightening time for Danielle and for those that love her.  But it also can be liberating and a wonderful thing for those that feel they have been born into the wrong body.

First, get some help for the family and Danielle:  https://mermaidsuk.org.uk

Mermaids is a brilliant trans charity and will be help you all.  Equally counselling with a therapist should help https://www.onetherapy.london/transgender-counselling-london/

Please make sure you keep an open conversation with Danielle, so there are no secrets. If you feel the reaction at school to Danielle is hurting her, go to the school right away. It is so important not to react negatively as you have been doing but talk to her about safety and  life moving forward.

Here is hoping it all goes well 

Love Heidi 

Heidi hi, 

My mother is a super bitch and is all about how things look. I am 17 and going to college this year and as it is a boarding college it is brilliant as I can get away from her showing off. Heidi, she thinks she is coming to see me settle in. I know it sounds like I am being unfair but all that will happen is she will come and make the whole thing about herself,  flirt with people and it will be an embarrassment.  Honestly I do not want to go if she is coming.  

Brendan, Richmond upon Thames. 

Hi Brendan, 

The narcissist mum https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00jm3ms

Oh, bless you,  I am sure she wants the best for you. Parents are only human too and as we grow older, we sometimes see flaws in them as in all humans. Equally it is a good idea to talk to your parents as humans. You are 17 now so maybe tell her you want to make the move in and settle in on your own. 

It may cause a row if she asks why to tell her you sometimes find her a little embarrassing.  It can go either way  but it may get mum thinking .

I feel as a parent myself you always want your child to be happy and safe, so it’s understandable that she wants to see where you are living. When you are ready, show her where you are residing and then possibly whisk her out for a mum and son lunch ! 

Good luck 🤞 

Love you Heidi and need your help,  

Having lost my virginity last year to an older boy at my school, it did not take long to realise that my preference is girls. Then in Brighton in June this gorgeous girl came on to me and that was that.  

It was only a week in when I found out she is starting work at my college this term. Now I am 18 so not jailbait, but she said it would be an issue . What do I do when I see her? I am in love. 

Kim, Worthing. 

Hi Kim,

Oh, my love I feel your pain. If she says she cannot be in a relationship, there may be strict rules against this. I think she sounds sensible and will have checked.

It is a very new relationship and if it is true love maybe in three years’ time when you leave it can be rekindled. 

But please do not be holding a torch for the whole time. My thoughts are she would be more impressed if you went on with your life, met new people and grow as a person. 

Best of luck. 

Hi Heidi. 

My boyfriend is super-hot, he plays rugby and is a Queen’s dream. The only issue is when we go out everyone flirts with him and I am invisible. The main problem is he flirts back and tells me it is just fun, that I am to get over myself and that I am his man.  But I dread going out socially, especially to gay bars.  We have been together for two years; I am a teacher and he is a doctor.  I do not want to say anything in case I sound jealous or drive him away.  

Paul,  Battersea.

Hi Paul, 

This might sound crazy, but many beautiful looking people have issues finding love and making people feel secure in a relationship with them. 

It feels like you’re being insecure and I feel for you. Sit him down tell him you’re feeling insecure and you need some reassurances. Even get some couples counselling.

Best of luck 

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Culture People

Daring to Feel: A Neurodivergent Perspective in ‘The Programme’ by Sam Grierson

Actress Michelle Jeram from BBC's Granite Harbour with Filmmaker and writer, Sam Grierson
Filmmaker and writer, Sam Grierson breaks down barriers of assumptions about a neurodivergent individual’s inability to “feel”
Her work gives you permission to open your mind and her audaciousness as an artist is an invitation for you to dare to think differently
Michelle Jeram and Sam Grierson at the premiere of ‘The Programme’

Sam Grierson said, “After my best friend took her own life, I stopped writing. I couldn’t write anymore. I met Michelle and she told me to give myself a nudge. And I went on holiday a few weeks later, and I sat on a beach in Croatia. And I hear her in my head, give yourself a nudge. And I thought to myself, you know, I’m autistic.

We’re not supposed to have big emotions. But I was having massive emotions for Jenny taking her own life. And I missed her. She’d been my best friend since I was four. And I completely missed her. And I’m thinking, I am having colossal emotions here. How is it possible that autistic people don’t feel?”

I’ve had the honour of watching Sam’s short film The Programme which is set to release in November. Her writing and direction of this enterprise made me feel a thousand emotions at once.

It’s about a non-binary and autistic character called ‘Drum’ played by Granite Harbour actress, Michelle Jeram who is interviewed by an AI robot. The purpose of this film is for the AI robot to gather information on a neurodivergent individual’s feelings and emotions to navigate how to treat them in the future.

The conversation between the AI robot (played by Sherise Blackman) and Drum was a painful watch and in many ways, made me feel seen and a huge reminder of the empathy we lack as human beings. The urgency to separate what’s normal and abnormal in people through labels, assumptions and ignorance is the root of all the divide.

People often forget that the spectrum of neurodiversity is far too varied to be generalised. There’s a reason why people say “they’re on a spectrum” after being diagnosed or familiarising themselves with certain traits. With this context in mind, Sam’s work deeply reflects how feelings and emotions also lie on an infinite spectrum that cannot be classified.

Sherise Blackman (the voice of the AI robot) and Sam Grierson

Sam explains, “Autistic people are shut down and shut up so often. I just wanted them to be able to express themselves and just talk. So I wrote the film to talk about grief and loneliness because they’re big feelings we don’t talk about. And again, as a neurodivergent person, what does that look like for us? And Drum’s not trying to be every neurodivergent person, it’s just a story by a person. But by letting them articulate their feelings, big, deep feelings, I just wanted to let people sit without uncomfortableness”

The essence of discomfort Sam speaks of while watching any of her creative explorations is an attempt to free the mind and elevate us to all forms of acceptance.

How often, as human beings, do we come across a story, feel a rush of emotions based on our own life experiences and settle on an opinion? Or, in some cases, feel so unsettled that the world becomes a projection of our emotions?

However, that’s exactly what Sam tries to portray through her work, we’re all human and equally messed up, neurodivergent or not. We’re all invited to feel the emotions that we do in our own ways. The keyword being feel and to be courageous to sit with ourselves, allow the voices to speak to us and initiate transformation through self-acceptance.

Sam mentioned, “Liz and I run workshops, we start all the workshops on the left hand side of the room, we put flip charts up and we say, right, what does autism look like? What does grief look like? And then can you express your emotions, for example, right? So we’ll put these on flip charts. And then Liz will interview me a little bit about why I wrote the film and then we’ll watch the film. Then we purposefully take a break. We let people go to the loo or whatever and just sit with it for a minute. We bring them back in the room and we say, right, talk about the film for a bit. And before they go, we do the flip charts again but on the other side of the room. We say, right, what does autism look like? What does grief look like? And can you express your emotions?

Sponsor and Film Producer, Liz Crutchley with Sam Grierson now working on a new feature film, ‘Station’

Every single person who’s ever been to our workshops has transformed in that two hour period from what they wrote and thought when they came in, to what they wrote and thought when they left, because we have challenged people, we have moved people’s perception. And the reason that we were able to do that is because we’re telling the story. And we’re able to draw people into Drum’s world and see it through Drums’ eyes in a really personal way. And so for me, what do I want to achieve? It’s that. It’s taking people’s perception beforehand and coming out the other side and transforming it. I think most people who’ve seen the film said they needed to watch it again.”

I had to watch it two or three times myself, not to make sense of the character, but mainly to make sense of my own emotions. I went through a spectrum of thoughts watching The Programme because at times I felt the writing was peeling into my heart like a stranger breaking into my house but I allowed it to happen? 

At times I felt a wave of sympathy for Drum’s character for being dehumanised by the AI robot when they not only answered the questions, but also bravely articulated every ounce of their misery. Only to be shot down for digressing or being “vague”.

Sam has evolved to a state of living where she challenges herself to do things and think differently but also does everything her creative soul tells her to do. She has a wonderful community of people who share her vision to allow people to go beyond themselves and into themselves. 

Executive Producer, Claire Brown with Sam Grierson
Soundtrack writer and artist, Megan Black with Sam Grierson

She continues to represent the neurodivergent community through her storytelling but also wishes to create a space for everyone to feel safe to express themselves. She works selflessly to include all voices to have a platform through her projects to spread an important message. 

Sam said, “I’d like you to think differently, the other side of it. And I really want to hear from people. We’re going to put it out in November, free, because all my content is free. I really want to talk about neurodiversity. So I don’t charge for anything. It’s all self-funded. I just do it because I want to do it. I want to tell these stories. I’m going to put it out.

I really, really want people to get in touch with me and tell me what it did. What did it do? How did it make you feel? If you don’t like it, fine. Tell me why you didn’t like it. I don’t need you to like it. I don’t need you to love my film. But did it make you have some kind of emotional reaction? Yeah, that’s what I want to do. That’s what I want to do with all my audio plays, all my stories. I want to provoke an emotional reaction in people.”

And just like her audacious podcast, “Daring to be Different” Sam holds no grudge with criticism and opinions. When someone like herself enters a space of inspiration through service to the world and a community, it doesn’t matter what people think, it only matters what they feel and what they desire to share. 

She is in the works of another project set in Glasgow called ‘Station’ about a man in a train station having conversations with fellow travellers to explore a multicultural perspective to life.

Director of Photography, James Peakman with Samantha Grierson

What I will say about Sam’s work before you experience it for yourself is that she always ends it with a twist. A stomach-curling, pillow-grabbing and mind-bending twist that leaves you hungry for more. 

Her purpose towards people is to provide an outlet for limitless perception that without intention, without bias or any kind of expectation or outcome, re-programmes us to lead with our hearts.

Watch the trailer of ‘The Programme’ by Sam Grierson

For further information The Programme and Sam’s future work, go to https://www.crabandbull.com/

If you wish to contribute to their mission, click https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/the-programme-short-film-neurodiverse-queer

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Culture Lifestyle People

Gay Adoption ?


The Dadda & Daddy interview 

With Steven Smith at 2Shades magazine 

If there is one thing most people can agree on, it is that children need love, guidance and to feel safe. Now in 2024 we can acknowledge that this does not necessarily need to come from what has been seen as the traditional family of Mum and Dad. The face of the family does not always concur with the image of the Waltons or The Brady Brunch. It takes two Heterosexuals to make one of us as Boy George pointed out. Many have done a great job, but equally the horror and trauma many have left their children with after childhood are the story of Netflix shows. 

In this day in age the family can be two dads, two mums, a single parent or two lots of parents after a divorce. The end goal is for the child anyone raises to become a happy confident adult, one who knows they are loved and gives back in return. This would make for a kinder society. But of course, not all agree, and the far Christian right still scream in horror at the idea of gay marriage, let alone gay people adopting or having children. 

Steven Smith meets an LGBTIQQ hero Andi Ellis Smith who has adopted two children with husband Darren, and chats life and fatherhood.   

 Andi, how did you and Darren meet?

Darren and I met through a mutual friend on Facebook, but it turned out that we actually lived very close to each other.

  •  When did you both decide you wanted to have children?

Darren had always been vocal about wanting children whereas I was a little quieter about it. Initially, I would brush it off or change the subject, but I have also always wanted children. As a young gay man, I just wasn’t sure that it was available to me! 

  •  Why go the route of adoption over surrogate or foster?

Due to our careers (Darren is a Headteacher and prior to working in media and advocacy my working history is within the local authority and schools) we were acutely aware of how many children were in the system that needed a caring and loving home, and we felt that we were able to provide this.  It was always adoption for us.  The loose UK laws around LGBTQ+ surrogacy (at the time) also put us off that route.  We have seen first-hand how amazing foster carers can be and what a vital part in a child’s life they can play.  This is something that we would possibly consider once our children have grown up.

  •  How easy was it to get approved for adoption?

As you can imagine, there are lengthy checks by the adoption agency which include character references from friends/ family, DBS checks. employer checks / medicals and finance checks including many meetings with your social worker. In addition to this you will need to attend information and training sessions.

We believe that there is a misconceived understanding by many people that the adoption process takes years. In fact, the approval process in the UK usually takes around 6 months. The part that can take the longest is the family finding and matching, but this could mainly be due to how open the prospective adopters are to the type of care needs that they are willing to take on.

  •  Do you feel that the BBC drama “Lost Boys and Fairies” is a good comparison to your experience? 

To start off with the drama was a very good representation of the process, but I felt some of this got lost with some dramatisation in parts of the story, which is understandable.  I personally would have liked storylines to be more child-centred and without the usual exaggerated cliches, but it was a good watch.  The foster carer character was brilliant!  Each adoption journey is different with twists/ turns and highs/ lows, so it would be good to see more representation of adoption on prime time tv.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m001wzp2/lost-boys-and-fairies

  •  What advice would you give to other LGBTQQ couples hoping to adopt?

Be open with your social worker and don’t hide anything, your social worker will end up knowing more about you than anyone else!    I always say to people to be at a point in your life where you are able to give 100% of your time and focus to the process as it will take over your life.

  • One of the first highly published couples Linda Riley and Sarah Garrett have two children together and set up “The Alternative Parent show”. As well as massive support for the couple (who have since split up), the Christian Right were very vocal of their disapproval. What do you say to those who think children should have a Mum and Dad?

Sarah Garrett, right, organiser of the Alternative Parenting Show, with her ex-partner Linda and their twins Phoenix and Sophia. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

Besides breast feeding, there is nothing that my children could get from a mother that they don’t get from their two dads.  Let’s be honest about this, the majority of children in the care system come from families where there is a mum and dad.  We did an article for publication about adoption when we first started our family; most of the comments were positive but there were a few archaic comments of ‘this child needs their mum’ !  I think some people are just very uneducated about it.  Safeguarding thresholds in the UK are incredibly high and birth families are given many chances (sometimes too many) before children are removed, so to say that ‘every child needs their mum’ ….is just a bizarre statement.

I am proud to have been a part of the Modern Family Show for 3 years now, this is Europe’s largest family building event and helps inform LGBTQ+ on their options for parenthood. The show is coming to London on 28th September 2024.  you can get

tickets here :   https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-modern-family-show-london-2024-tickets-726689125737?discount=ADVOCATEANDI

  • Once you have adopted, how much help in the following years is there for parents?

We have needed support for both of our children post adoption as we have seen a huge decline in services post pandemic.  It is a bit of a myth that you can ask for support post adoption and you will just get it.  The post adoption fund is available, but you do have to go through assessments and meetings to be able to access it and, like everything these days, there are long waiting lists which can be frustrating.  

Adopted children (known as Previous LAC (Looked after children) can access certain support such as going to the top of admissions criteria for some schools (always check the policy!) and their educational setting will be able to access certain funding pots, so it is really important to be honest with the school that the child is adopted.

  • Your first child – your daughter – has numerous medical diagnoses. This must take up a huge amount of time. Were you aware of this at the point of adoption and  is there much support for you around this?

Our daughter does have complex needs.  We were aware that she may have some difficulties due to genetic conditions and from information that was provided to us pre-adoption.  As time has gone on, we have received further diagnosis.  

What is difficult is dealing with professionals not doing what they should, following up on appointments and fighting for the support for different services.  The other part that can be tricky is people’s attitudes towards SEN and inclusion.

  1.  Has there ever been a point when one of your children ask why they have two dads? How do you explain this and what about when they are asked at school?

Our son is very inquisitive about everything!  We always talk about different families and have lots of books featuring characters from all family background and cultures.  I like his way of thinking; he flips it and asks why people don’t have two daddies or why do they have a mum! 

I do think that a lot of children just accept things these days, of course there are exceptions to this. However, my children’s classmates have always known that they have two dads, even from when they have been at nursery from aged 2 and childminders.  One child once said to my daughter’s key worker that he thought it was unfair she had two dads because he only had one!

  1.  Can you tell us how you are involved with Anna Kennedy online? 

Earlier this year I became a Charity Champion for Anna Kennedy.  We have done some fund raising and held virtual coffee mornings for the LGBTQ+ community, which is a safe space for people who belong to this group to come and chat to others.  This can be other LGBTQ+ parents or those who are neurodiverse and LGBTIQQ+.

  1.  What do you two beautiful people relax or do to look after yourselves?

We love spending time with friends and family.  We enjoy days out and lots of walks (or running after the children). As a couple we love outings to the theatre or concerts and we both try and get to the gym as and when we can!

END 
 

https://www.mytwodadspodcast.com

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Culture Lifestyle People

The Church of David Hoyle

The Church of David Hoyle  by Steven Smith

“Atelier”

David is on next Thursday at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern

this is a review of a previous show

DAVID HOYLE’S THINK TANK

The Vauxhall Tavern, Thursday 10th August 2023 through to September 

5 stars xxxxx

A David Hoyle show is a truly unique experience and it is meant to be.  I once described him as Kate Bush’s and Lyndsey Kemp’s love child. His talent is undeniable, and he asks his audience, as he narrates, to think out of the box with him. 

As you look around the packed room, it mirrors “Warhol’s Factory. From the lady you feel sure may have been one of Warhol’s prodigy in her hay day with the bright pink hair, Trans adorned Hoyle’s congregations long before it became a topic of conversation. But it is not just the LGBTIQQ community that worship here. Men in suits that look like they have come from the city or just people who love art or good conversation can be found at David Hoyle shows.

” Everyone is beautiful in this room” David assures us all.  

The atmosphere is electric before David even enters the room. If people-watching is your thing, part of the experience is to join liked-minded people before the show gets going. The excitement is mounting as a virgin David audience member whispers to me,

“I just love drag”. 

“He is not drag”, I replied, well not in the traditional form: you won’t see Hoyle entering “Ru Paul Drag Race” any day soon. Certainly, he appears in tattered stockings and a night dress that had seen better days. 

I would love to hear Michelle Visage questioning Hoyle’s sewing skills (I’d pay to witness  his reply!).

Hoyle is simply art. You never know which David you’re getting and it reflects how he feels about the state of the world that night.  One show he will walk on stage dressed like Frank N Furter meets Bowie’s Space Oddity, oozing glamour. The next show his hair will be in bunches like Violet Elizabeth, his tooth having fallen out, talking about poverty as an artist. Or he walks on with his face bare, a few nights after the Manchester bombing (his now home town), opening his heart to the pain we are all feeling.

He moves amongst us handing out autographed prints of his actual artwork. Hoyle uses his audience as his paint brushes. He asks those at the front why they have taken prime position if they did not want him to point them out.

Hoyle does not take cheap shots at people unlike so many that humiliate audience members. Even when confronted by the more difficult patron. To this day it still makes me chuckle to think about when he asked a slightly drunk man what he did. “I do what you do”, grandly the man replied. 

Hoyle retorted, “Really! I had no idea I was generic!”

Hoyle will make fun of himself, asking if anyone fancies a 61-year-old homosexual with a bridge tooth, he chats about the difficulties of dating as an older gay man.  David gives sermons on not fitting in the box, or on everyday life as an artist, or those that do not want to conform or those that do. He does not ask you to agree or disagree, but merely to think. This may not sound like a form of entertainment, but it is, and he packs out venues with those wanting to hear him.

Hoyle always finishes off by doing a portrait of an audience member. Again it could be ritual humiliation but instead the chosen one is always made to feel special, but the audience is in hysterics. 

David is so very special , and it is a joy to walk away having seen someone so gifted who often bares more than his soul to his audience .  Please go see this icon. 

https://www.instagram.com/davidhoyleuniversal/?hl=en

https://linktr.ee/DavidHoyle

David is on next Thursday at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern .

DAVID HOYLE’S THINK TANK
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People

Narcissistic men in India: Demons in a lost society

Thousands step to protest the rape and murder of trainee doctor in Kolkata, India. Picture credit: BBC
I feel sick to the stomach for the state of women and children’s lives in my country and in disbelief of the atrocities currently taking place
The issue is far more deep-rooted than we can imagine -the dark undertones of our society and revealing the evil in our own lives
[Trigger warning: Sexual/child abuse]
Citizen rally in Kolkata asking for justice. Picture credit: The Hindu

I’ve witnessed shady inconsistencies in men my whole life. It pains me to say that most people I know have encountered some form of abuse by men. Whether they were girls, boys, women or men, they’ve all been victims of perverted men in our society.

At the age of 7, I was walking to my school bus stop and I noticed my brother was lagging behind. I stopped for a brief moment to chuckle at his clumsiness when all of a sudden, a man in a grey tracksuit stopped jogging and stood in front of me.

He looked at me and said, “Have you seen a rocket?” and pointed to the sky. I looked up in confusion and when I looked back down he said, “Do you want to see a banana?” and pulled his trouser down and laughed. I started pacing towards the bus stop, numb from what I had just witnessed but completely aware that my innocence was stolen.

At school I was always curious to befriend the opposite gender. I wanted to know the boys that existed outside of my brother. 

In attempts to form a bond with them, I was giggled at, pointed at and fat shamed by boys who thought I was ugly. 

At 26 now I can understand that those boys were immature and classic bullies but when I put together the “father figures” in my life who objectify their own wives and sisters, the behaviour of those boys suddenly became very clear to me.

I’ve observed men in my own life who are actually moodier than the women they call dramatic. 

One moment they’re bringing in platters of sweets and savouries and hampers of gifts for the women of the house.

The next an abusive sentence flows out of their mouth effortlessly for a woman anchor who wore her dress too short at a sports presentation.

As if that wasn’t confusing enough, I’ve been made to sit on laps of men who beat up their wives after a drunken expedition. 

And the same men stuffed notes of money and chocolates in my tiny hands to mask the blood on their inhuman palms. 

The emphasis on family, traditions and patriarchal roles is where the crime breeds. I cannot speak of the perpetrators in my own family because I will be a threat to the foundation of the society that “shaped” us.

I live with the guilt of knowing the names and the faces of men who have abused their power. I am forced to continue to keep a cordial relationship with them for the sake of family.

I’ve swallowed excuses for these men who rest their hands behind their heads refusing to change. 

Who become possessed with anger when cornered, throw their arms aimlessly at any living being holding a gentle candle to enlighten them. 

Picture credit: Al Jazeera

These are men who will say women and children are fragile and wreak havoc at the sight of it. These are the same men who fetishize fragility and inflict a satanic blasphemy to eradicate it from the world. 

What’s worse, these men are all around. It’s a universal problem, hiding behind distinguished suits and pristine whites, deluding themselves to believe they know what’s right for people.

They call themselves leaders while exploiting a minor or threatening a female intern to pleasure them for career growth.

“Not all men but always a man” is a quote I came across as I was reading responses from the public. I think men who get triggered by this statement miss the forest for the trees, I don’t think the purpose was to say all men are criminals.

It’s true that violence and injustice can come from any gender but a majority of it happens to be men who hide behind their indecencies.

My hatred towards these specific men is layered with concern for the innocent lives who become subjects of their trauma.

And I wonder why?

Imagine this scenario:

A young boy watches his parents fight everyday. His mind is innocent and exposed to the first representation of a man and woman in his life. The parents were forced to have him to continue their legacy, the marriage was an arrangement/transaction to silence the society. 

The young boy watched his father stumble into the house drunk every night, opening the door to find a strange woman he was forced to marry. The mother feeds the son she never wanted to have, with a man she met once before they were sentenced together for life. 

The young boy believes he’s safe until the drunk father starts yelling at the mother’s incompetency to serve him as a housewife while he slaves all day. With no real evidence, the drunk father unleashes his anger towards the mother till she bleeds and verbally abuses her existence. She endures the pain without a choice, hopes to stay out of the way and continues to nurture the child as a mother but as a woman, she’s been killed. 

The young boy’s mind picks up on a new behaviour, he’s confused as to why his mother who feeds him must be punished. He’s frightened of his father, his instinct of survival is to never be in his sight. But he accidentally falls prey to his father’s violence when his mother’s not around which transforms his fear into anger. His father seeks opportunities to belittle him for being a burden in their lives and is never truly shown love.

Over the years the young boy is now introduced to girls in his school. He sees girls who laugh, play and treated as equals. A girl scores a higher grade than him in class and is celebrated. The father hears about the girl scoring higher than his son, he mocks his son for being useless in comparison and maybe even beats him to a pulp for embarrassing the family. The mother stays silent, she fears speaking up to save herself from being assaulted, she cleans the wounds but the boy pushes her away. 

He’s now a teenager and his hormones take over his ability to discern between love and finding a woman to control. He watches movies about how to acquire a woman for his needs, and feels tempted to watch adulterated movies to comprehend his sexual drive. He finds a woman interesting and targets her as an obsession outside of his miserable life at home.

He tries to get her attention, the girl is timid and prefers a gentle approach. Impatience and ignorance fuels the teenage boy and he cannot control himself, the behaviour he consumed as a child itches him towards harmful gratification. He wants to punish her for questioning him, he senses his mother’s weakness in her and wishes to destroy it…and so he does.

This is a scenario to display a collection of common storylines I’ve witnessed over the years. Multiply this into millions of similar stories and the problem becomes quite apparent. I could point out the obvious issues like forced arranged marriages, traditions, societal pressure, extremely poor mental health, lack of services to offer therapy or education, poverty, lack of sex education and much more. 

But the core of the issue is the blatant disregard for accepting women as equals and the incompetence to take accountability. These men find pleasure in ignorance rather than sitting with the simplicity of acceptance and equality.

How could they when they believe they’ve had it the hardest? That the world has been unfair to only them? This is what they think, they function from a place of ego and rejection, it’s how their genes tell them to be and trauma takes the narcissistic steering wheel.

Picture credit: EveningStandard.

We’re nothing but cattle in their big bad wolf fantasies. And the tamers of these big bad wolves are wolves in disguise themselves.

The wolves can continue rotting in their imminent doom, but as cattle, when will we break free from our self-imposed herd mentality?

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Lifestyle People

Walking for Autism 2024 Friday the 23rd of August

Richard Steven’s and best friend Goddo Debattista are walking from Watford football ground this Friday to 12 stadiums and back
In aid of Anna Kennedy Online (Autism Charity)  

https://annakennedyonline.com

This weekend best friend Richard Steven’s and Goodo Debattista are returning for “Walk for Autism 2024 “The Stadium Tour raising awareness and acceptance of autism and raising funds for the autism charity, Anna Kennedy Online.

This year they will be walking around London past 12 stadiums on a 65 mile walk over one weekend. Starting and ending from Watford’s Vicarage Road Stadium, walking past The Emirates, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, Stamford Bridge, Wembley Stadium to name a few!

The aim is to raise awareness of charities like AnnaKennedyOnline continue to support autistic people and their families. As well as well needed fund for the charity.

Richard and Goddo will be wearing t-shirts made by Born Anxious with a robin on them. This is to remember Robin Windsor who was heavily involved with the charity Anna Kennedy Online 

Richard himself has been diagnosed with Autism and his youngest son. 

They have received support from Alison Hammond, Katie Piper. Frank Lampard and Alan Titchmarsh 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/walk-for-autism-the-stadium?lang=en_GB&utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&sfnsn=scwspwa
T-shirts for the walk will have a robin on them designed by https://workforgood.co.uk/businesses/born-anxious/ in memory of the beautiful Robin Windsor

Call Steven Smith 07969106222 spman@btinternet.com for press

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Culture People

Taylor Swift: Lyrics I love as a neutral Swiftie

Taylor Swift at the Eras Tour 2024
I’m deeply sad I’ve missed my chance to go to the Eras Tour in London, but I’m not mad.
Her lyricism will stay close to my hopeless romantic heart but I wonder, do the haters even bother listening to her music before they attempt to annihilate her?

Unlike some people out there who drool over their screens with a fool’s smile to let their hatred towards her be known.

I love that Taylor Swift is so insanely popular, good on her for being a smart businesswoman but also an incredibly clever artist.

What must it feel like to achieve something so revolutionary through art that it brings you everlasting fame and wealth?

I feel slightly envious as an artist myself sometimes and I think we all do when we see her on our socials at least two times a day.

However, the jarring hatred she receives baffles me to bits. I wouldn’t call myself a hardcore Swiftie but I love her music, I can acknowledge an artist’s journey to this point and choose to be inspired rather than project my insecurities onto her.

I have a sense of humour and I’ll admit, some of the memes are actually funny. If it’s in good humour and the creativity of the shade makes me gag, I’ll have a laugh or two.

She has cats but that’s funny

But if it’s down bad cruel and insensitive, I fail to understand the purpose behind it. What’s worse, it comes from her own fans occasionally.

Social media has become such a hotspot for people to help someone rise to fame, be proud of them when they do but also find reasons to drag them down when they get “too famous’.

The irony is ridiculous. What do people really achieve when they type negative comments about someone, to express a moment of anger on a complete stranger and call it a job well done?

They actually don’t realise that their hateful interaction is probably adding more digits to her bank account so, continue I guess?

Taylor Swift has had a target on her back the day she turned famous. She’s heard it all, she abandoned country music for pop, she’s boy-crazy, she’s way too opinionated, her music is average and she doesn’t deserve the recognition she gets.

I’m coming from a neutral Swiftie perspective when I say so much of what the media has fed us has made us believe she’s not a worthy artist at all. Which is FAR from the truth.

It takes away from the beautiful songwriter and producer she actually is. Her remarkable vocals, captivating stage presence and how she never fails to put on a fabulous show for her fans.

I’ve watched videos of her performances and heard a lot about how thrilling she is on stage from a few friends who pounced at the opportunity to see her.

I admire the passion her true fans have for relentlessly standing by who she is. She knows how to provide for them and they receive all that she has to give with open arms.

Isn’t that the point of loving an artist anyway? Aren’t we all in some way shape or form emotionally attached to that one artist or band that we just want to see conquer the world?

My loyalty lies with Lady Gaga and always will but when I see artists like Taylor Swift who has a palm on the world, I’m thoroughly impressed by the sheer guts it takes to achieve such a thing.

I’m not a marketing expert to tell you what she’s doing and state the facts on how exactly she became a billionaire after the Eras Tour commenced.

But what I can say as a writer is the consistency of her talent in all her songs. She takes me on a journey from what was perhaps a sad portion of her life and makes me see how she struggled but prevailed in a just a few minutes.

Her songwriting dances on the fine line between, “Oh my god did this really happen? Who is she talking about?” and “Oh wow that must have been so painful and confusing but good for her breaking out of it.” She is a genius storyteller.

The sister albums, Folklore and Evermore made me completely fall in love with her artistry for life. I can’t begin to tell you how brilliant these two albums are in terms of variety as an artist.

She piqued my interest most when she entered her villain era with Reputation. I was re-introduced to her as an artist gone rogue and I loved it. The release she found through that album was I’m sure, cathartic for her but also for the confused teenage me.

Taylor Swift in her Reputation era. Picture credit: The Hollywood Reporter

And she just didn’t stop after that, did she? She recorded Lover, she had the drama with her toxic ex-producers mooching off of her. She re-recorded all of the songs from her older albums while simultaneously working on new material for Lover, Folklore, Evermore and Midnights.

She works HARD for her art and her brand. This is a woman who knows her worth and will fight tooth and nail to stand up for herself while delivering exquisite pieces of music. 

I didn’t entirely listen to the Midnights album but I have a few songs that I will listen to for the rest of my life. Anti-Hero being one of them that really helps me put things into perspective. When she says, “Must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero” that hits deep. I smile at the thought of being my own worst enemy so I truly ‘Shake It Off‘ and return to myself.

I’m still working on the Tortured Poets Department because let’s be real, 30 songs?? I love her but I don’t love her All Too Well (okay I’m going to stop with the Taylor puns).

I’m taking it day by day and listening to perhaps 1-2 songs, giving them all of my attention so I can fully take in what she’s trying to say.

But this is what I mean when I say, she feeds her fans and she feeds them WELL. I’ve never once heard a Swiftie tell me they’ve had enough. This woman is making her fans tweak the tectonic plates! That kind of energy is monumental.

I’ve had conversations with my Swiftie friends recently, we’re all kind of on the same page with how much we love her. We agreed that as much as we adore her, we want to see more and not just the break-ups or the boy troubles. For instance, when she spoke about how she dealt with her mum’s cancer in ‘Soon You’ll Get Better‘, that was an invite into another side of her vulnerability that we were aching to see. 

She goes into intricate details about relationships which could either be real or fictional, who knows? And the boy-crazy songs may not be entirely for me but the way she sees love and how she heals after a separation resonates with me on a human level. 

Ultimately an artist’s purpose is to feel seen through their work and hope for people to find themselves in it. Taylor Swift has done precisely that on an enormous scale and it was not overnight.

She has been around for over a decade, her growth was erratic but she continued to wear her heart on her sleeve. I mean let’s not forget she has 14 Grammys to her name.

Unfortunately the dark side of the internet will find reasons to dehumanise her relevance in the world. Scrutinising her relationships, the private planes, the snot coming down her nose and the list goes on. 

But this is a message from a neutral Swiftie who sees and appreciates her art for what it is and promises to not shame her for what I don’t know. 

She makes the teenage girl in me very happy and the woman in me sees the woman in her. She’s a girl’s girl but not just any girl, she’s a woman who stands on business and is a legend in her 30s, that’s pretty iconic to me.

Here’s a few of my favourite Taylor Swift lyrics that I appreciate as a fellow poet:

  • Song: Exile by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending. You’re not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now? You were my town, now I’m in exile, seein’ you out.” (Excuse me miss Taylor and Bon Iver, you’re not allowed to know how I see separation, get out of my head but stay in my heart)
  • Song: My Tears Ricochet. “And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you (when I’m screaming at the sky), and when you can’t sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)” (Sobbing, I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this deep)
  • Song: Cowboy Like Me. “Now you hang from my lips, like the Gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.” (How does she manage to take me on such a dreamy, romanticised journey and snaps me back to reality at the same time? It’s simply sensational)
  • Song: False God.“But we might just get away with it, religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false god. (We’d still worship..) We might just get away with it, the altar is my hips, even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love. (I didn’t ask for this biblical sensuality but okay, take me to CHURCH)
  • Song: Guilty as Sin? “What if I roll the stone away? They’re gonna crucify me anyway. What if the way you hold me, is actually what’s holy? If long suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly. I choose you and me…religiously.” (The way she makes biblical references is intriguing because that’s how much she views love, like a union of two souls praying for harmony against forces that try to tear them apart)

I might be a total Swiftie in denial but it’s against my morals as a little monster to exclusively call myself one.

The haters can hate all they want but Taylor Swift will continue to serve exceptional music, poetry, love, entertainment and pure talent as always and we will always be, ready for it. (I had to)

Here’s a link to the rest of her Eras Tour dates around the world if you can make it https://www.taylorswift.com/tour/

Don’t tell me about it, thank you.