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Unleash Confidence through Acting: A Women & Non-Binary Workshop

Louise Osbourne is set to conduct an ‘Act As If You‘ workshop in Birmingham and London in March to bring a fresh perspective to acting
Who knew you could perform your way into reclaiming the real you?
Louise Osbourne with a student in her class, Acting For Screen in Birmingham

Actor and acting coach, Louise Osbourne has combined the art of acting with building self-confidence into a workshop called ‘Act As If You’ specifically for women and non-binary people.

The course focuses on nurturing the inner self and gathering communication tools to thrive in personal and professional environments.

Louise seems to have cracked the code with her expertise to empower women and non-binary people to find their voice through acting and improv.

Louise said, “For 14 years I’ve been doing acting classes in Birmingham for people from 16 upwards all levels of ability and what I noticed was that men and women but definitely mainly women would come to my class not necessarily to go down the path of trying to get an agent and trying to book acting jobs and auditions, but they had lost their identity. Whether that was from marriage or children, and Birmingham is a very Asian multicultural city so a lot of it’s from marriage and not working anymore, they’d have their children or their children would be a little bit older and they’d come to my acting class, not thinking about acting but actually because they gain confidence.”

Before she came back to Birmingham in 2011 to become an acting coach, she had a blistering career in the States as an actor and worked with several award-winning actors.

During this time she noticed that some pretty big names in Hollywood were still nervous first day on the set and found it interesting.

Louise said, “I’ve worked with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Warren Beatty and Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn and everybody’s nervous, everybody! It was mind-blowing for me because I was like, there’s no way these seasoned Oscar winning actors are nervous but everybody’s afraid they’re not gonna be believable. I think sometimes it’s almost harder for them because they’ve got to do better than their last best show, because they’ve already reached a level and your next thing has to top it or else you’re gone.”

Louise Osbourne

This helped her identify that a more holistic approach was needed to uplift one’s confidence to play any role in life.

As a founder herself and an advocate for inclusion, Louise felt called to blend her experience to help women and non-binary people become strong leaders.

Her friend, Samantha Grierson, who has contributed generously through her art to the LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent communities in Birmingham, saw great potential in Louise’s mission to build a safe environment for women and non-binary people to express themselves freely.

She helped Louise bring her vision to life and continues to support and set up this acting workshop with her.

The primary aim of this workshop is to go beyond acting and dig deeper, let the soul’s voices dance and acknowledge the core identity. 

Louise added, “It’s not even about the acting it’s about taking the mind off the inhibitions and you can get that through playing say improv games, I’ll give them really interesting fun scenarios and I’d roll the camera, they’d have no scripts and they just have to play along. Sometimes at the beginning they’d be very quiet, let other people do the talking and then after a couple of weeks they’d find their place, find their voice and then they’d interject. And then I’d say to the rest of the class that improvisation is about giving and taking. You don’t need to fill every silence, silence is real life, let the silence be. Silence is where things brew from.”

Louise’ students in Birmingham

The last line couldn’t be more true as we all prepare in our silence to present our “best’ selves on various occasions.

It’s almost like an inner dialogue or conflict that needs to stretch out thin until our minds can finally be satisfied with a fitting approach. So much of this is caused by overthinking, social anxiety and in some cases, cultural upbringing and sexual identity as well.

Women and non-binary people have struggled to assert their voices in male dominant environments. They feel dismissed, overlooked and often forgotten. 

Louise’s workshop provides the perfect platform for participants to train their inner voice and not feel ashamed to speak up. And to become comfortable with the idea of voicing out their needs and wants to the fullest.

Louise continued, “We have had so much stuff holding us back as females and non-binary that it’s time to kind of step up and speak for ourselves. My belief is that if we all have that inner confidence that we do deserve a seat at this table and feel important from within, it won’t feel like we’re there just to tick a box.

I think that’s what we need to get our heads around, we need to make sure that we are not sitting at that table because they have promised the shareholders that they’re more inclusive. It’s like oh yeah we’ve got a non-binary, tick! We’ve got a woman, tick! But no voice? Screw that. We need to make sure that if we’ve got a place at the table that our voice is just as heard as everybody else around that board.”

Louise brings a rather powerful yet light-hearted approach to trigger a change that women and non-binary people can utilise as a launch-pad to acquire any position in our society or the corporate world.

Acting isn’t always a piece of cake but what is capitalism without a little performance? In the famous words of a TED talker I don’t remember, “You have to fake to not only make it, but become it.”

The art of performance is used to churn out versions of oneself that were suppressed, Louise intends to unwrap those gifts that reside within. 

By urging her audience to create their own compelling narrative, uniqueness comes to life with a little artistic direction, reassurance and a whole lot of fun.

Behind the scenes of Acting For Screen

Louise added, “There’s got to be a lot of laughs in my class, I want people to leave feeling confident but have fun. It’s also about using the fear, switching the fear to be excited about the story you want to tell. So you switch the fear to what you’re pitching about, what your journey is, why should I be telling this story. Why now? At the beginning of the classes I will definitely ask everybody what they want to get out of it and then work with them individually on creating a monologue that’s going to fit into their pitch about their journey. For the first half of the day it’s just going to be improv, it’s just going to be exercising, not thinking about business or anything.

In LA, I’d tell them yeah you’re a teacher, you’re the boys in the class, you’re casting for Matilda. And one of the little boys in the class nailed Matilda, he knew all the songs, he knew everything. He told me he wants to be Matilda but his dad doesn’t want him to be so and then I’ll just roll the camera and it’s really interesting because they have to act. Whether they feel that way or not they still have to go with it and take on that character. Afterwards there’s such a big sigh because it’s not who they are, it’s a different character. Sometimes I make them play two businessmen, and they both end up crying. It’s funny the stuff it brings up. They go, I can’t believe I was crying! A lot of stuff comes to the surface and then you’re way more relaxed and you get more involved in it. I think fear is something, if you switch it, it’s something that can be propelled by you.”

Louise Osbourne mentoring her students

As humans we have a tendency to overestimate the power of fear in our lives. We almost think it’s superior to us and without even trying, we admit defeat and live out our lives not knowing what could’ve been.

Acting as an art-form in general requires an individual to become friends with the chaos lingering inside. There’s a lot of emotional release; you laugh, cry, scream, howl and it almost becomes essential that you feel. 

Louise aims to purge all of these emotions out to make women and non-binary people rediscover themselves as leaders of their own lives.

The purpose of ‘Act As If You’ is to break free from the ordinary constructs of gender roles and eliminate the limiting voices that were given to them without their permission.

For more information about the workshop, go here: https://www.actasifyou.com

A glimpse into Act As If You
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Columns Culture People

Thomas Farthing

Thomas Farthing Simon Barnes pictures .


Men’s Fashion Secret Thomas Farthing 

When I had  just turned 13, my mother took me and my sister on a trip to London for the first time. What made this journey so magical, apart from the bustle and excitement of the big city, was entering the doors of Barbara Hulanicki’s Biba store. From its elegant black and gold art deco logo to its amazing layout and stunning fashions, Biba bowled me over.

The New York Dolls were performing that night in the Rainbow Rooms at the top of the shop. The food court was full of exotic delights I’d never heard of and my mum treated me to an apple strudel, with its deep apple and raisin filling sprinkled with cinamon and covered in in spiral pastry.

I got my first man bag and a trendy vest and I felt like a million dollars. I imagined I was Marc Bolan, and I counted the minutes I could escape dull Whitely Bay to live in this electric city, somewhere I felt for the first time that I truly belonged.

I did move to London and have had many adventures along the way. But there have been very few shops that gave me the buzz that Biba did all those years ago. Much as I love shopping, these days the excitement is sadly lacking, as chain stores take over our high streets with their dull product ranges and uniform window displays. Everything looks the same, although there are some exceptions, of course, such as the Harrods food hall.

But now I’ve discovered a fashion store that gives me the same thrill I experienced when I entered Biba as a teenager.

A few weeks ago, I was told that I would be modelling at the Ideal Home Christmas Show and needed to be fitted at the Thomas Farthing http://www.thomasfarthing.co.uk/ store in Museum Street, right by the British Museum. So one chilly autumn evening, fellow model Frankie Holloway and I took ourselves off to Bloomsbury.

Entering Thomas Farthing is like going back in time to a more elegant era. From the penny farthing leaning against the shop window to the classy Edwardian interior, it has a magical feel, like entering the dream kingdom of Narnia and a world away from the depressing chain store experience.

It’s packed full of delights for the stylish man and has some lovely touches, from the quirky duck decked out in a bow-tie to a set of battered luggage you imagine might have accompanied a young man about town on his grand tour of Europe in a bygone century.

Frankie and I couldn’t wait to try on their amazing and unique designs, which are hand made to the highest quality and finish.

Run by Adam Skyner and his stunning fiancee, Jenna Louise Hardy, the shop has been open for a year. Judging by the eclectic clientele, including tourists seeking the Downton Abbey look, it’s going to be a huge success.

Jenna and Adam have a skilful eye and quickly dressed Frankie in a style that I can only describe as Downton Abbey meets Al Capone – the only thing missing was the violin case! But he looked amazing and loved the style.

It was my turn next and, being a 17 1/2 inch neck and 48 inch jacket, I am always a little nervous that I’ll look like a bulky bear if I have too many layers. That’s just how I felt on our first attempt at a fantastic winter tweed suit, but Jenna quickly jumped in as she realised I needed a more tailored look. She produced the most wonderful coat and Adam grabbed a shirt that fitted like a glove. It all came together and I just loved the finished look, which was topped off with a red bowler hat.

http://www.thomasfarthing.co.uk

Adam came from Stumper & Fielding in Portobello Road and he and Jenna clearly have a passion for what they do. Jenna even showed me how to wear my waistcoat with the last button undone, the traditional way it would have been worn by an Edwardian gentleman.

Needless to say, when we modelled Thomas Farthing’s clothes at the Christmas Ideal Home Exhibition for Angel Sinclair’s Models of Diversity http://www.modelsofdiversity.org/ the outfits had the audience applauding.

The store stocks classic Irish and UK designs, Loake, McGee, Gurteen, Peregrine, Hanan Fulton, as well as their own Thomas Farthing brand. 

Jack Eyers 

http://www.thomasfarthing.co.uk

Thomas Farthing

Thomas Farthing

40 Museum St

London

WC1A 1LU

020 7831 1600
Copyright Steven R Smith 

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Columns Lifestyle People

Heidi Gammon’s Christmas agony aunt column

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us

Happy Christmas, and it is cheer and  happiness for most but not for all. The festive season can raise the grinch and other family nightmares.

But do not fear! Good fairy agony aunt Heidi Gammon is waving her wand and will try to make it all better with her magical advice. 

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us


Hi Heidi,  

Happy Holidays. Can you help me? I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year now and we are in love. However, I have not introduced him to my family yet. One, he is very domineering (I like that) and never holds back on his opinions.  Two, he is covered in tattoos, hates dressing up and he is a drummer in rock band part time. My mum is super conservative and just about down with me being gay. She actually says that no one with tattoos are welcome in her home.   Mum rang the house, and he picked up and she invited him for Christmas! 

HELP please!!

Mike, Kingston.

Oh bless Mike, talk about being put between a rock and hard place. First of all, you should have dealt with this months ago if you care for boyfriend and mum. You say mum is just about ok with you being gay. Well, it sounds to me like she is making the right moves inviting your partner for Christmas.

If your partner loves you, it is time to sit down and tell him the issues about your mum. You say you like the fact he is dominant and opinionated. There is a difference between that and a narcissist. You let him be himself 364 days a year, but maybe he could think about you for one day, not be a different person but just tone it down a little. If he really cares about you and is not a narcissist he will understand. Until mum gets to know him, box clever and make this day about realising that you need some TLC in this area. Trust me, if he really cares he will work with you. If he can’t, I’ll tell you something he is not dominant, he is just not caring.

Next time you chat to mum, maybe give her a little pre-warning he might not be joining the conservative club any day soon. Just do some groundwork preparation before the big day. Remember: life is short and you need to be happy. Mike, those that say they love you should want the best for you, sometimes that means compromise. 

Happy Christmas my love, write and let me know how It goes. 


Dear Heidi, 

I like to party, but it is high days and low with me. Sheryl my fiancé loves it 24/7 but I am fine with that as she can go out with her gang, and I am not jealous or worried. We are having friends over for Christmas Day and we were going over the menu when she announced,  “I’ll get a few grams in for after”.  Honestly, I have had enough. The only White Christmas I want is on the ground. What do I say? 

Lisa, Chiswick.

Oh no Lisa, oh I have seen this so many times. The marching powder is no-one’s friend. Yes, there seems to be a honeymoon period for many who think it makes them invisible but like any false high, in the end there is always a price to pay. It destroys jobs, relationships and friendships,  not mention it robs your bank account. Once it gets its claws into you, for many there is no escape. Yes, there are those who partake on high and low days, who seem in control like yourself. But Sheryl sounds like she might be heading for a fall. You need to simply say no!  That’s not the Christmas you want. Make your views clear and it might give her a shock, or maybe she’s already hooked and this is the bit she is looking forward to on Christmas day. Then she may need help, but time to realise it’s a slippery slope, and you being an enabler won’t end well .


Hello Heidi, 

How are you, love the column. Now there is no excuse, but I kissed my best friend’s husband on a drunken outing when my bestie was away. It has been over six months I have not seen him or mentioned it to my friend. We are all spending Christmas together this year.  I have not seen my friend’s husband since. It is going to be super awkward. What should I do? Maybe call him and chat about what happened?

Dylan, Brighton. 

Sweetie, if it was just a kiss get over it. People are human and drink is horrible when it comes to making a fool of ourselves. Unless you’re not telling Heidi the whole story, move on and put it behind you. Or if the kiss meant more to you than you’re saying, maybe have word with yourself. He has not been in contact with you since the drunken kiss so perhaps he does not remember it. Take Heidi’s advice: do not do party postmortems and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. Enjoy your Christmas xxx 

Happy Holidays, Heidi 


Dear Heidi,

My partner Alisha is just gorgeous and we’ve been together for six months. She came out as lesbian late in life, having been married for twenty years.  She has two teenage kids and they are coming for Christmas. Heidi I am terrified. I do not do kids and how do I act? They are very important to Alisha. 

Love Diana. 

Hi Diana, it is not a couple of hyenas coming for Christmas, it is two teenagers (perhaps more terrifying at times). No Diana, can I tell you how to handle it? Be yourself, treat them with respect and take an interest in them, listen and you will be surprised. Please have some basic structure of your expectations to staying in your home as you would with anyone coming to stay. But do not come over like a prison guard. Just try and have fun; they will be as worried as you! 

Love, Heidi


Heidi will be back in the New Year . You can also hear her on Gateway Radio https://www.gateway978.com/blogs/daytime/josie-gibson-reveals-the-most-mind-numbing-things-in-life Tuesday the 26th of November https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UT6NDE0INI&t=4s and on Youtube.

You can find her on: https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us

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Categories
Columns Culture Lifestyle People Uncategorized

Steven’s Viewz September column. 

Why I am with Esther Rantzen when it comes to euthanasia being allowed in the UK

Inspirational Esther Rantzen and the incredible Martin Annand

News of the controversial suicide pod being used for the first time in Switzerland really caught my attention. The device allows the person in it to take their own life by pressing a button. The concern, even in Switzerland where euthanasia is legal, is that the pod functions without medical assistance. 

It also triggered a memory of when I was asked to take a friend to Switzerland, and I nearly did…

It was a beautiful sunny day and my former partner, of twenty years and friend for twenty more Martin Annand and I were sitting in the leafy London Garden opposite where he lived. 

He squeezed my hand and said, 

“Steven, please take me to Switzerland, let’s arrange it today.” 

The wonderful Martin Annand RIP 20th Of February 1944 – 9th of August 2021

We had been up most of the night. Martin had been in agony; he was terminally ill with cancer that had moved into the spine. He had sailed through hormone treatment and apart from the odd hiccup, chemotherapy had been giving us hope that a miracle would happen or at least extended his life, but we had had some bad news, and the chemotherapy had stopped working. He had moved on to radiotherapy and that was a whole new ball game. The illness was turning him quickly into a shell of himself. 

Helping was a battle as his new partner was unreasonable, a bully and often hysterical. I was up against people who were all “experts. A distant relative thought running a ball up and down his spine and getting him to exercise was good, but would not look at the actual fact that it was the worst thing you could do for cancer in the spine.

All through his illness I was absolutely determined to stay stoic and a rock, not the hysterical mess I was in private. Too often I have seen people make their friend or partner’s illness be about them, with the poor soul consoling them. Now his current partner had taken two weeks holiday and reluctantly left me to look after him. It was an ideal time to take Martin to Switzerland.

However, it was hard at this point to hold back the tears. 

“Is that what you really want?” I asked him.

He had clearly done his homework and knew the price and exactly where to go. Pulling myself together and looking into his beautiful blue eyes I promised I would if he just gave it one more week. The doctors had said at the Royal Brompton that the night burns were quite a common side effect that should pass. 

Holding him in the shower and as he lay shaking in bed, I would have done anything to ease his pain. Assurances that this phase would pass, and that the treatment would allow him more time encouraged us to push on. 

To this day I am so sorry that I did not take him whilst he could still get on a plane. The horror that he endured no human being should go through. Why do we let a dog in distress die in dignity, yet our loves ones have to suffer? The religious right will tell you It is not God’s wish. Some God if he wants us to suffer.

“Suffer to come unto me “. Well, I cannot make sense of that.  It is time to allow those with no hope of living without excruciating pain to die on their own terms.

By the second week it was too painful for Martin to travel in a taxi let alone fly.  Then the current partner arrived back, and all was lost on the idea of euthanasia.

When there really is no hope, it is time to be kind and allow the terminally sick some release.  Next time someone I love asks me, I’ll do it on the spot.  I truly hope that if I were in that much pain with no chance of recovery that someone would do the same for me. 

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/why-we-need-change/dignitas/

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

“Do not look back in anger” I can’t wait for Oasis to be back on!

https://oasisinet.com


If there is one thing that bemuses me it’s being put in a box because of my sexuality. 

As a gay man I have heard it all over the years, including the presumption that I must be filled with excitement that Kylie is touring next year. No! I honestly would not cross the road to watch her, and I find “Padam Padam” one of the most irritating songs of all time.

Sure, she has a huge gay following. I remember two gay men jumping with excitement in the changing room of the gym exclaiming, “Oh my God we are seeing Kyle tonight, she’s such a survivor! ” And that was before the breast cancer. I have heard she is a lovely person, but she’s just not my taste in music. 

Later at the Troubadour café the waiter enquired if me and my partner were going to see Kylie. After replying definitely not, he smiled and said, “Good to hear it, have a drink on me!” 

Sure, I like Madonna; she is a true artist. Now Bowie, Lou Reed, Nina Simon or a night at the Royal Opera are my tastes in music. 

What I am excited about is Oasis coming back. Liam Gallagher is brightly funny and a night out with him would be way up on my list rather than the gay Divas of music. Oasis marks an era, and a generation of people want to celebrate the band and re- live that experience for just for one night.

Their music is original, and they are a dying breed of rock star. The Manchester lads may not be the wild boys of the past, but every time Liam pops up on a show, he makes me laugh and he is by far a much better interview than most. 

That’s what entertainment is all about. My friend Pam I know not to dare ring during the football or come to that rugby, cricket, darts season, tiddlywinks… If for a moment music, sport or something else can transport you to a happy place or bring a beautiful memory back to life for you, then whatever gives you that enjoyment is your business. 

I, of course, respect everyone who can’t get Kylie “out of their head”, but come on, Liam and Noel are really something to get excited about. 

https://www.troubadourlondon.com

Autism’s Got Talent 

Yes, it is that time of year again so please come see me and 2shades columnist Dr Anna Kennedy OBE on 12th October at the Mermaid theatre. Gateways Radio Aston Avery will be one of the main presenters introducing some incredible acts.  

This star-studded spectacular show will showcase amazingly talented performances by adults and children with autism. The performers, which consist of singers, actors, musicians, magicians, poets and dance troupes, will fly the flag for autism and show what people with autism are capable of. Autism’s Got Talent provides a platform and fantastic opportunity to replace negative aspects with hope, fun, laughter and inclusion. This showcase is unique to any other project across the world.

Most of the acts have springboarded into exclusive opportunities. The audience feels a rare emotion of hope and belonging, part of a unique network, and understanding that anything is possible. Every year promises a showcase of a wide variety of performers. In previous years, there has been a stand-up performer, harpist, rapper, young author, acclaimed ballet dancer, opera singer.

The concept of Autism’s Got Talent is based solely on inclusion, and there needs to be more, which is why we have started roadshows. Autism’s Got Talent is an annual event that grows in popularity each year and has firmly cemented its status as a leading charity and autism event.

Dr Anna Kennedy OBE and me .

Supported in the past by celebrities including Kacey Ainsworth, Richard Mylan, Dame Esther Rantzen, Carrie and David Grant, Debbie Moore OBE, the late Ian Royce, Dr Pam Spurr, Mitch Winehouse, Loose Women Star Denise Welch, Caprice, Luke Friend, Tony Discipline (BBC Eastenders), and Emma Noble.

Autism’s Got Talent

Date: October 12th, 7:00-10:30PM

The Mermaid
2 Puddle Dock
London EC4V 3DB

Finally it is just wonderful to see that “Body Dysmorphia ” in reverse is alive and well.

Categories
Columns

Heidi Gammon’s PRIDE Agony Aunt Column.

Heidi Gammon, 2Shades and Gateway Radio’s agony aunt, answers your questions this Pride month.

Dear Heidi 

I stumbled upon your column by accident. My daughter Is gay, and I have found it very hard to accept. First of all, I am catholic, and her lifestyle is not acceptable to my faith.

Trust me Heidi I love my daughter, but I am really struggling to accept her girlfriend who she has lived with for four years and won’t have her in the house. She looks like a man, and I find it embarrassing when people see her. My daughter says that they plan to have children and that breaks my heart. Now she says she won’t see me if I do not accept her life and partner. Having tried counselling already what can I do? Losing my daughter is not an option. 

Vicky, South End 

Dear Vicky 

This makes me very sad. Please be assured I have total respect for others’ beliefs. It is great you tried counselling but maybe you did not go the right one.  With all due respect, everything you are saying is homophobic. If you truly love your daughter, you will embrace her and love her as a mother should. Who cares what people think of the person who loves your daughter?  You need to respect who your daughter is.  Really, I understand your pain but it’s time to let go of that mindset. Who wants to be around someone who judges and discriminates against them, especially when it is a person that is supposed to love them? It may be an idea to try counselling as a family https://www.rainbow-project.org/family-support/

You will lose your daughter if you continue down this path.

All my best, Heidi


Dear Heidi  

Please help me, I did a terrible thing. My husband wanted to spice things up and bring another person into the bedroom. He did not want an open relationship so, with trepidation we went ahead with a guy we met online. It was fun and we saw him a few times. 

Really Heidi I thought that was it but having bumped into this guy in town, we started to see each other behind my husband’s back as he said he’s not really into him. He has asked me to go on holiday with him. Having agreed and telling my husband it is work related, now I am getting cold feet. What can I do?

Mike, Brighton 

https://www.grindr.com/blog/wild-sex-positions

Oh, my dear Mike, what a mess. 

Really, I am all for those who want to try different things but boundaries must be in place after a lengthy conversation. Although it’s not for me, many couples have open relationship and experiment. When you invite another person into your relationship you are opening a pandora’s box. Be careful what you wish for I say. 

It sounded like you thought you were happy. Bringing someone else in could have unearthed that your relationship may not have been what you thought. The fact you’re even thinking of going on holiday behind your husband’s back tells me things are not right. It is time to ask yourself how you see your future. Time to sit down and talk to your husband, after all he opened the box leading you to want to deceive and break the trust. Without trust there is no relationship.   Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Love Heidi 


Dear Heidi, 

My gay brother is a hoot, but he won’t stop flirting with straight guys.Now he is flirting with my husband. Alex my husband thinks it is funny but it is annoying and embarrassing for me. Having put my foot down my brother is not speaking to me.  What can I do?

Kirsty, Essex  

You’re kidding me, Kirsty.  You’re quiet right, straight or gay, there is a limit to the flirting game and you have every right to be annoyed. It was right to share your feelings. 

It sounds like your brother is a bit of an exhibitionist and they can be fun. Exhibitionism can be a drug and you can get hooked. He needs to think of your feelings too. Trust me he will be back in touch. You sound like a great sister so just ignore him till he comes to you (and he will) . But stick to your guns when he does appear licking his wounds.

Love Heidi 


Dear Heidi 

Love the column, please can you help me?   I am so frightened to ask anyone out as my fear of rejection is so great. No-one asks me out and so my life has no one romantic in it. How can overcome my fear? 

Love 

Andy, Leeds  

Andy my love, my heart goes out to you. Ok I need you to shake yourself down. 

You can go to an lGBTQQ+ councillor https://pinktherapy.com or if you cannot afford that, the NHS offer free talking therapy sessions . I am taking it you have tried online dating; you do not have to go on GRINDER  or Facebook, and many other sites offer a softer approach to dating . Or why not join an lgbtqq+ group https://www.mesmac.co.uk/our-services/leeds/support-social-groups

Here is a selection in Leeds. It is a nice way to meet people in non-sexual way that could lead to romance. 

Happy Pride Andy, I hope love comes your way .

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk