Steven Smith was born in Coatbridge in Scotland. He was brought up in Whitley Bay, before briefly moving to London. He then moved to the seaside town of Brighton, where he was first receiver recognition for his hairdressing skills. Steven moved to America for eight years, working in Beverly Hills, and on his return to London in the late 90s, rose to fame working in fashionable Knightsbridge. He has styled model Katie Price, actress Denise Welch, David Hasselhoff and the cast of Baywatch. Steven had his own column in The Sun newspaper advising on hair and beauty, and was a regular on the Lorraine Kelly show, transforming GMTV viewers into their favourite stars. He made over Lorraine herself, transforming her into movie legend, Elizabeth Taylor.
Steven has been a freelance writer for the last ten years, combining showbiz interviews and travel with his eye for styling. He has written two books: Powder Boy, looking at the dark side of showbiz, and an autobiography: It shouldn't happen to a hairdresser, offering a witty and sad look at his life. He is currently penning a third book to be titled Happy in Chennai.
He has a monthly column, Tales of a single middle-aged gay man that looks at not only the light side of gay life, but also darker aspects such as rape, addiction, and chem-sex. Steven also runs his own beauty/aesthetic blog and is a patron of Anna Kennedy online; a charity that not only supports the autism community but educates the public about those that live with autism.
Great to be back and this month I would like to address a question people keep asking me: how do people get diagnosed when they are sure they are on the spectrum or are living with autism?
Be prepared for a long wait depending on where you live. You can also go for a private diagnosis which can cost between 1k to 2k.
“It’s becoming trendy to say you’re on the spectrum.”
Is it becoming trendy? I think it is more a case that autism awareness is now much more widespread, especially with celebrities now sharing their diagnosis to the public. People are recognising that they may be on the autism spectrum due to past struggles in their day-to-day life.
Dear Anna,
My daughter is nearly 24 and living with autism. I raised her by myself with help from my parents who passed on over the last year. The Government stops helping with her at 25 and my health is not great. What can I do to secure her a future?
Penny, Edinburgh.
Hello Penny,
Thank you for sharing your story. Once autistic adults reach 25 it can be difficult to find suitable services for our loved ones. I am in the process of looking for a day service my son Angelo since his college is closing July 19th and we were only given 28 days’ notice.
A good organisation to ask for help – and it’s a free service – is Living Autism. They can help you search for a suitable provision for your daughter. Their website link is www.livingautism.com
They have supported our charity in the past and also share useful resources that may help you. Wishing you lots of luck!
Anna and husband Sean at number 10 .
Anna, How can people help sponsor Autism’s Got Talent?
We are in our 13th year of Autism’s got Talent and it’s the highlight of our charity year!
Our small charity with devoted volunteers relies on support from the community, companies and the public. To find out more about sponsoring Autism’s got Talent please contact Steven Smith our Charity Patron or my PA Lisa.robins@annakennedyonline.com
Part Sponsorship is £500 where you receive 2 VIP tickets, your logo appears on our red-carpet brand board, programme, and shared across my social media made up of over a 100k followers.
A show not to be missed on October 12th at Mermaid Theatre Blackfriars. Door opens at 6pm and show starts at 7pm.
Dear Anna,
My son is very talented and was diagnosed with a Autism several years ago. He is 14 and wants to go to theatre school.
My worry is he is deeply sensitive and has a lot of issues. Is it really wise to guide him into a world that may hurt him?
Dorothy, Southend.
Hello Dorothy,
Thank you for your message about your talented son. There are many amazing performing arts schools across the country. Only yesterday I attended such a fantastic show in Leighton Buzzard. So many wonderful performances and happy families.
A good idea if you’re on social media is to share a post asking for recommendations of performing arts schools in your area. Facebook can be a useful place for recommendations by other parents.
Dear Anna,
I am convinced my son is being bullied at school. He is autistic but goes to a mainstream school.
He has become more introverted and does not want to do other school activities. He says I should not talk to the school
David, Brighton.
Hello David,
Sorry to hear about your son being bullied as I know this is both stressful for your son and the family. Yes, do speak to the school It is best to nip it in the bud asap for your son’s own wellbeing. Speak to his teacher or the headteacher. Schools take bullying extremely seriously.
Sending you best wishes and hope this is dealt with quickly.
Anna, thank you for everything you do. When is The Autism Hero Awards?
The Autism Hero Awards will take place in March 2025 at The Holiday Inn Regents Park. You can still nominate your Hero at www.autismheroawards.com . It’s such a wonderful event where 36 finalists travel to London for a 3 course meal. There is dance and entertainment from a few of our Autism’s got Talent performers. Winners are announced on the night.
For the last five years I have been feeling tired, sluggish and just not myself.
Often in the afternoon, despite a hectic schedule, the need to lie down would be almost overwhelming. Flu-like symptoms with abdominal pains are a regular occurrence in my life.
My G.P. put it all down to having had glandular fever in my early thirties, and told me it was something I just had to live with.
Whilst in India, I met Doctor Prakash, who suggested a visit to his Harley Street clinic to undertake his anti ageing treatment would help. Both of us having such busy schedules, however, it was almost a year before I found myself sitting in stylish office.
The first thing he suggested was that I had some blood work done to check my hormone levels and look at various other health areas. Having had more blood tests than I care to remember – all of which pointed to my glandular fever – I was a little sceptical and the prospect of yet another test did not thrill me. But there was nothing to it and it only took a few minutes.
A week later I was back for the first of my results. Mr Prakash has a kindly air about him but I could see he seemed a little concerned. ” My goodness,” he said, “you are so stressed out. I have never seen a result like it.” I immediately came out in a cold sweat, fearing I had only weeks to live!
But to my relief – and on only my second visit Mr Prakash – he had got to the root of my problem. I had Adrenal Fatigue, brought on by not coping with stress. My cortisone level, which drives the stress gland and protects the body against its ill-effects, was one of the lowest he had ever seen. Despite my sunny disposition, and determinedly looking on the bright side, I was slowly collapsing under the weight of stress inside.
Mr Prakash prescribed Adrenplus – 300, a mix of vitamins and Adrenal supplement, and said I should take one a day. He also advised me on a new diet and suggested I do more resistance exercise. But his Meditation and yoga would help with this, and help me learn to relax. “You have been too busy looking after everyone else, Steven, it’s time to look after your body,” he told me.
He went on to explain that my body was like a kettle, but there was no putting vitamin supplements or medication in if the sides of the kettle were not well and truly sealed, as everything would just fall out. The sides on my kettle were wide open because of stress and only relaxation and breathing would help me seal it.
Five days later, I’ve been doing meditation tapes, taking my supplements and following my diet (BELOW ) . I am a long way from feeling like I did in my twenties but, just three days into Dr Prakash’s regime, I’ve found that, for the first time in years, I’ve not felt the need to take an afternoon nap.
Breakfast
Tea – green tea or ginger and lemon tea. Make your own with fresh lemon and peeled ginger
Omelette made with the whites of four eggs. Add vegetables of choice. Cook in a small amount of olive oil (no butter)
Fruit – a cup of fruit such as blueberry, pomegranate, coconut, grapefruit. Avoid high-sugar oranges, tangerines and strawberries.
Alternate with organic full fat yoghurt. Avoid low or zero fat yoghurt.
Snack
An hour or so later, have a snack, such as a handful of almonds, macadamia or cashew nuts, pomegranate, coconut shavings or blueberries.
Lunch
Tuna salad or chicken breast salad. If the tuna is tinned, make sure it is in spring water rather than oil. For the salad, spinach, watercress, spring onions, beetroot and celery. Use lemon as dressing or a tablespoon of Udo’s oil.
Snack
The afternoon snack can be the same as the morning. If you have worked out, have a protein drink with added water rather than milk, unless it is almond milk, or blueberry blended in almond milk.
Dinner
Chicken or turkey breast with a small portion of brown rice; steamed broccoli with added ginger if desired, or lightly stir fried vegetables.
It is important not to eat after seven in the evening but if you want you can have some cherries before sleep with a small cup of warm almond milk.
Steven Smith and Adishri Chengappa from 2Shades Magazine strike a pose in their first professional photoshoot with celebrity photographer Anne-Marie Bickerton at The Camera Club in Kennington
Yes, two crowns met as Celebrity Photographer Anne-Marie Bickerton takes 2Shades Magazine’s first photoshoot.
Anne-Marie Bickerton known for her many glossy magazine covers raised her camera and snapped iconic Adishri Chengappa.
Of course, we just had to have someone known for help lift a crown or two involved Steven Smith the other half of 2 shades jumped in . The results are amazing
Adishri said, “This was the most fun experience I’ve ever had! Anne-Marie is such a lovely soul and we got on so well. I could talk to her for ages but more importantly, she made the whole photoshoot such enjoyable experience for us. It’s been a dream of mine to be in a photoshoot and I am so glad I got to have my first experience with my gorgeous partner in crime and love, Steven Smith.”
If you’re lucky enough to be travelling to sunnier climes this summer, you need to find room in your Louis Vuitton luggage for these great holiday beauty products.
Everyone has gone barking mad about one product this year: Dr. PAWPAW. Every top make-up artist I know has this little beauty in their make-up bag, including ‘make-up artist to royalty’ Ginna Bogle. Celebrities are begging for this latest must-have.
It is not only cruelty-free and vegan, it has the most amazing products from a lip-balm to moisturiser to shampoo; never is this not in my daily bag let alone my holiday bag.
Dryness frequently raises it head when the sun beats down, so these products are powered by a trio of ingredients: pawpaw (papaya) to nourish, aloe vera to soothe and olive oil to moisturise.
These iconic products make you look and feel good, AND benefit your skin. It honestly does what some expensive brands do. Try Dr.PAWPAW and it will have you wagging your tail!
The award-winning shampoo is a must for anyone’s summer bag. And if your hair is starting to thin, this should be your first port of call. My agent used it after a course of chemo and her hair is bouncing back. This powerful formula is infused with the ultimate
blend of biotin, rosemary, caffeine, niacinamide, argan oil, allantoin, and lupin protein, specifically designed to promote healthy hair growth and maximize your hair’s full potential.
Say goodbye to lifeless, thin hair and hello to a head full of volume and shine. Experience the ultimate nourishment for your locks with each wash and feel confident with every strand.
My goodness! This is a game changer for those of us with fair skin. I first noticed what a lovely tan a red headed friend of mine had, “Use P20”, she said. It was hard to believe, but you apply it an hour before you take off to the beach and it shields you for the day.
P20 gives you a range of sunscreens that offer you the highest and best in sun protection.
The main difference is their ingredients. Mineral sun protection contains titanium dioxide and zinc oxide whilst chemical sun protection includes organic and more active ingredients.
Okay. It’s not a beauty product but it’s a lifesaver!
I do not know about you, but as my luggage goes off, I always get that sinking feeling. Will it be there when I arrive? Or worse, will someone take my suitcase as indeed once happened to me.
It can make for bad start your holiday. With an “Apple Air Tag”, this problem ceases to be as you can keep track of your luggage.
In addition, this versatile item can keep track of those items that matter most from keys to your wallet. It is always a disaster when you lose one of those on holiday. If your Air Tag is nearby, your iPhone can lead you straight to it using Precision Finding.
You’ll see the distance to your Air Tag and which direction to head in, all thanks to Ultra-Wideb and technology (compatible with select iPhone models).
With allegations of sexual abuse against pop stars, actors and high-profile business people at an all-time high, Steven Smith looks back at his own experiences as a 16-year-old on the celebrity party circuit in the late 70s.
He asks whether society at the time was just as much to blame for the exploitation of teenagers as those that are having the finger pointed at them.
Wanna buy it? Link at the bottom of this article.
It’s a Monday morning. I’m working out. My book It Shouldn’t Happen to a Hairdresserhas been out for a month now. It’s my autobiography and follows my journey from coming out at 16 to tending to the hair of the rich and famous around the world. Though now I work mainly in the media, I still keep my scissors handy.
The book has caused quite a stir and there’s been a lot of press. Many are asking who the pop star was that seduced me when I was 16.
I decline to answer. It was not something I wanted to talk about further, plus, having worked for the tabloids for over a decade, I knew exactly where that conversation would lead. Having been harmlessly misquoted in some of the papers (one claimed that I hung out with Madonna), I still knew that interviews were a road that needed to be trodden carefully.
My phone goes. It’s a lady agent friend of mine who has been quite supportive in promoting the book.
“Hello darling. I simply couldn’t put the book down, it’s marvellous.”
She goes on to ask how the book is doing and who could imagine how difficult Katie Price could be. We both laugh, but then we get to the reason for the call.
“Darling, who was that awful pop star that seduced an innocent 16-year-old you?”
Back in the late 70s, 16 was more like 20. Now, it’s not something that I felt was integral to my life and I won’t be naming him. But it was important to my story in the book. The gist of the call is she thinks that I should chat with one of her clients, a gorgeous police officer called Dan Neal. It could be beneficial to us both – he had read the book and was branching into showbiz.
My agent friend had always been good to me, so I agreed. Almost immediately, Dan called. He was involved with the Jimmy Saville inquiry and was making quite a name for himself (he later went on to marry Rylan Clark). Charming and full of life. He said how much he had enjoyed the book. But then came the cough!
“The pop star who seduced you when you were sixteen, would you name him?”
“No”, I replied quickly.
Dan asked if he could hazard a guess. Judging by the tennis courts in my description, was it —– ? I had heard that they were after this particular person, and funnily enough, I had met him. And a more asexual but charming person you could not want to meet. (Although rumours of his early years hold that he was rampant – but not with young men.)
“No, it was not.”
He went on about his duty to uncover these people.
Cutting Dan off, I pointed out that I was not about to be induced to join a witch hunt. There was a big difference between boys and girls who had been groomed (or been downright taken advantage of) and the youths who attended parties and venues dressed like they were in their twenties, who were desperate to bag a pop star or anyone in the limelight. Back in the 70s, 16-years-olds were very independent, with some passing themselves off as 20-something.
Many of them only seem to have decided they were taken advantage of after the star has died or when they’re in their late 50’s, when many (I’ve found, having done research) have money problems.
In the late 70s no-one asked for ID or carried it. We grew up in an era when, as soon as you could carry a bag of newspapers, you had a job as a paperboy. I was working at ten.
Benny Hill chasing a woman dressed as a schoolgirl around the garden and Barbara Windsor being sexually harassed dressed as a nurse in the “Carry On” films was acceptable in comedy, and for many in the UK (and the US) it still is.
Your correspondent 40 years ago.
When I was 16 the club to go to was BANGS! On Tottenham Court Road on Monday nights, Donna Summer blasted from the speakers and we dressed to impress. We danced on the stage as the beautiful, gay, stylish and soon-to-be famous mingled in an electric atmosphere.
There was a whole group of lads and lasses aged 15-16 who lived for Monday night. It was not unusual to be approached, asked to come to other parties or asked out.
A young air steward invited me to a party one night. It was being held the following Sunday and he said that a car would be sent for me. He wouldn’t tell me whose home it was but said it would be great fun. He was very cute, and Sundays were boring.
I slipped out on the Sunday from my parents’ home and picked up the car at the end of the road, where the steward was waiting with the driver. As we reached the destination, I was stunned by what I saw – it was the most magnificent house, more of a mansion really, with fake butler and maid statues to greet you in the huge entrance hall. It was like nothing I had ever seen before.
Not such a rocket man and for sure should not be a reference to anyones morals .
We parked the car around the back of the house and went to meet our host on the tennis court. I was shocked when I saw who he was – he had played with one of my favourite bands when I was growing up and here he was, greeting me on his tennis court! He was down to earth and seemed genuinely interested in me. Before long we ended up in his disco, where the cocktails flowed. And so did some other things. Some of the other guests offered me cocaine and laughed when I refused.
Not changed a bit
“Hey, have you brought a good kid to the party?” they asked.
Nevertheless, one too many gin and tonics and as Dorothy Parker said, I ended up under the host. Still, it was a great day, and I went home with my host’s autograph. That was enough excitement for me.
As he brought me home, the steward suggested I might like to meet other friends of his and intimated that it could be quite profitable for me. But I was streetwise beyond my 16 years and said no, thanks.
So, I was somewhat surprised when I received a call from the star’s right-hand man asking me to come down again, which I did. I found myself liking the guy, who even played a song for me on his piano, across from his statues of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Really, I preferred T-Rex. He sent cars for me several times and we even watched a movie in his cinema room.
He only stopped sending for me after I told him that I’d mentioned the visits to my family. He almost passed out! After all, I was still only 16. This, despite me pointing out that I’d been in the theatre and it wouldn’t seem unusual that I was hanging out with the likes of him.
Still, much as his interest in me waned once he discovered that, he still invited me to the parties. They were great fun and he always got me home safely.
All these years later, though, whenever I smell Opium perfume, I think of him. The fragrance filled the bathrooms in his fabulous house and I even bought some for my mother that Christmas.
One of the most wonderful moments was when a famous pop manager held a boat party along the Thames for his birthday and Freddie Mercury and Kenny Everett were among the many celebrity guests. It was a dream come true and all I did was dance the afternoon away.
I was even hired briefly at the Embassy Club (in shorts).
With no age check.
Other parties were not so innocent. (Let’s not get started on the famous journalist with the three-way mirror whose parties hosted many a squaddie, some of whom went on to appear in the work of Mike Arlen (a gay photographer).
But I was lucky there was always an out. So, I never felt trapped or taken advantage of.
Of course, if I felt like playing victim I could rewrite this story in a different colour.
Many of the boys at the parties have passed on with HIV or disappeared. One or two I still bump into, and they talk of the good old times.
I’m sure that some may have regretted the follies of youth and even feel like they had been taken advantage of. But we can’t just blame the celebrities. The ’70s was a time that allowed freedom for the young and sexually promiscuous behaviour was rife.
Luckily, we have ID now and people check. I feel great empathy with those that have been hurt. But regarding those who, in their teens, labelled themselves groupies, only to say many decades later they were victims, responsibility must lie with more than one party.
There is a difference between the casting couch, grooming – and dressing up, passing yourself off as older and consenting to things.
Otherwise, it does turn into a witch hunt. It only really sunk in to what had been done to me all those years later , When I looked at my 16 year old Nephew . The thought I would kill anyone who touched him.
Tales of looks and asks “Is love the worst drug of all ?”
Tales of a Single, Middle-Aged Gay Man, Steven Smith looks at the drug we call “love” and asks, is it the worst addiction of all?
Love has been known to bring down empires. Men and women have even died for love. Some commit murder or take their own lives. What happens when we wake up from love and realise it has been a horrible trip?
Or is love the anchor for security, a safety blanket that makes so many feel validated and wanted? Some might say one of the best feelings in the world is love—and what is life without it?
This has been one of those weeks when I find myself asking “Why am I single?” I don’t exactly need to wear a paper bag over my head and, socially, my name is on most friends’ and acquaintances’ party lists.
Sure, I’m in my sixties , an age that can be the kiss of death on the gay scene, but things have progressed since a gay man would have to hang up his ruby slippers after 30.
In fact, the golden years of the bears, daddies and silver foxes are very fashionable; as one friend in his 70s recently told me, “I am getting more honey than I did in my twenties.” For me, sadly, it was hard to relate; my dance card is frighteningly empty when it comes to dating.
Parting with gorgeous Danielle Mason actress and model
Yes, I have tried several apps, from the ones that a friend introduces you to (so you join, only to be besieged by guys from the US military who seem to all live in Leeds and call you “Dear”) to Tinder and Match. Both came up blank, and the likes of Grindr and Gaydar just aren’t for me.
Watching a friend on an app called Scruff was like watching the doors at Selfridges on the first morning of the sale: it was hard to keep up with who was going in and out, so maybe not the recipe for true romance that I’m (maybe naively) looking for.
Most of my peers seem to be either married or seriously dating, and to be honest, I was for the first time feeling sorry for myself and a little lonely—much as it might seem to the world that I was Mr Popularity, surrounded by company (as one magazine put it, I had “a social calendar busier than Princess Margaret’s”—she’s dead, but I get the point).
But I’m sure that most singles get the lonely feeling on occasion, no matter what they say.Your correspondence or Princess Margaret – it’s hard to tell the difference. Interrupting my self-indulgent self-pity is the ringing of a phone. It’s my soon-to-be-married friend Angela. She’s around my age and super successful and bright. The woman does a degree as a hobby, as well as playing sport and having so many side gigs it’s hard to keep up. Angela has been married once before and has two amazing grown-up children; she supports their various ventures and is the best mum you can imagine. But Angela falls short when it comes to love. She has not only got rose-tinted spectacles on, when it comes to the man she is about to marry, she is completely blindsided.
There is no resemblance Princess Margaret
Since she met this real-life equivalent of Netflix’s Dirty John, the phone has not stopped going with people asking me to have a word with her. With maturity comes experience, and I have learnt that it is the message that usually gets shot. In fact, one of her friends has already pointed out that she was making a mistake, only to be quickly ostracised, though in a drunken moment Angela asked me if I thought the friend was right. It was clear from the start that John was dominating and controlling.
However, he was fun for a drink and he and I got on well. One by one, he started to alienate Angela’s friends who he felt were a threat—somehow Angela would tell me that it was her idea and she had seen the true light.
Then there was the pressure for her to stop supporting her kids and focus more on his ventures. Not too long after the engagement, he had a sports injury and the market dropped out of his field. He had to give up work altogether and lived off her while exploring his options. Much as he enjoyed a lavish lifestyle – flying first class, dining in the world’s best restaurants, and all that came with having a very successful partner, his clear resentment of her financial success over his was clear.
The man was self-medicating enough to feed Peru, but Angela would excuse it and say, “He only does it on occasion, you know what the banking boys are like.” (He did not work in the City.) It seemed obvious to me that the whole situation was a car crash waiting to happen.
The only thing that might be of help was that he liked me, and I could still gently advise her and be a sounding board. Today’s phone call is a humdinger. John wants her to sell her beautiful city home, move her son out, and buy something in the country nearer his aged parents and his friends.
Angela thinks the country air might do her good, as John says she’s looking tired, and that it could be a nice change. My God, this whole thing is turning into a television show where you’re screaming at the screen, “RUN!” I take a deep breath and tell Angela it’s not a good time to sell. Why not try renting in the country and see how she likes it? But maybe not mention to John that I hinted that . I suggest we have lunch and chat about it tomorrow.
It may have been easier if she’d had a chemical drug dependency and hit rock bottom; then I could get her help or at least stage an intervention, rather than trying to save her from this man.
Anyway, hanging up, it’s a worry, but I’m late for lunch. I’m off to see two bright stars, Simone and Juliet. Simone is single and works in marketing for a record label, and Juliet is a later-life lesbian: “I’m LLL,” as she puts it in her deep Tallulah Bankhead voice. She’s camp, and a fabulous PR manager. In fact, the restaurant we’re dining at belongs to one of her clients.
I knew Juliet’s first husband, and I always wondered what she ever saw in him. But if I thought her taste in men was bad, she’s outdone herself when it comes to her current fiancée, singer Coral Jones. Juliet is obsessed with Coral, and it seems to be all that she can talk about.
Simone and I have started placing bets on how long it will take Juliet to bring up her fiancée. Juliet has turned into a type of woman she would have been truly appalled by a few years ago, the ones whose opinions and views are those of their partner.. Every other word out of her mouth is, “Coral says…” as if God created the Earth and on the seventh day, Coral took over as she probably knew better.
To make matters worse, Juliet is just back from the USA and the prestigious Coachella music festival in Los Angeles, where of course Coral was headlining and received rave reviews, or so Juliet is boasting. This is hard to swallow, as both Simone (who knows everyone in the music world) and I know that Coral was in fact performing at a downtown L.A. venue. Juliet had paid for her to appear to make it look like she was at Coachella, and Coral had nothing to do with the festival, although it was running at the same time.
It’s all smoke and mirrors with that one, as Simone says. Ironically, that’s also the name of Coral’s first E.P., which, according to Juliet, is driving record companies across the globe to enter a frenzied bidding war. However, it took Simone three and a half minutes to discover that Juliet had helped to self-produce and release the record. “Oh, she’s so good that record labels just take advantage of the artist,” to quote Juliet. “So Coral set up her own record label.” Simone almost choked on her espresso martini the night that was said. Of course, Juliet does not disappoint.
We’ve hardly sat down when she declares that Coral is just such a good judge of character—“It’s almost like she’s psychic!” Simone’s eyes go up to heaven and she lifts the menu up over her face. Juliet goes on to say that 98% of the time, Coral can work people out in seconds, but we aren’t to worry as she likes us.
Juliet seems to be oblivious to the fact that no one is that keen on Coral, but we do all tolerate her, because Juliet seems more stable and happier than she has for a long time. Who are we to charge in where angels fear to tread?
As long as a friend is happy, it’s none of our business. The only thing you can do for friends is be there if it goes wrong, to pick them back up and not tell them “I told you so” or “I wanted to say something.” Just listen and be kind. Many relationships, no matter how dysfunctional they may seem to us, work.
B
Even in a friendship that isn’t sexual, it’s possible to have the same feeling. Who can forget their first friend in life—that moment when they leave you to play with someone else, that first feeling of jealousy, and the relief when they come back? Could love be the biggest addiction of them all, making sensible, smart people do things out of character? Especially in the hands of those already living with addiction issues—and I use the word issues, because we all have addictions in us; it’s those that can’t control them who may fall at the first hurdle. Or on the upside, I have seen two beautiful people who are my long-term friends, who have both battled with addiction, find love together and become each other’s anchors, and they’ve been sober and happy for ten years now.
I can’t tell you how many people rang me to say, “Give that a month” when they first met, and yet they are still happy.
When I chat to my great pal, self-help and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr of drpam.co.uk and @drpamspurr, she tells me: “It’s said that love is a drug, and for some people it is. Falling in love stimulates feel-good brain chemicals like serotonin and endorphins that can be addictive for someone with an addictive nature.
The addict craves that exciting ‘hit’, but once the excitement in the initial phase of a new relationship wears off, they may well look elsewhere for that excitement again. “Where someone with a non-addictive nature adjusts to the next phase in a relationship—after the exciting, sexual chemistry phase—someone with addictive tendencies might feel disappointed and even bored. They may not have the emotional capability to develop a more mature way of relating. “One sure sign that someone who’s had problems with addiction in the past is developing an emotionally healthy way of living is that they accept that relationships change with time.
They accept that they move from the exciting first phase into a calmer, yet hopefully more substantive, second phase and further phases. “Anyone living with addiction needs to enter any new relationship with caution.
The rule of thumb is that an addict should not enter a new relationship within a year of going sober, going clean, or, for example, giving up gambling. Research tends to show that a year of sobriety or being clean of any addiction, is a ‘good enough’ amount of time to be clear-headed when wanting to begin a new relationship. “With existing relationships, they and their partner and/or loved ones need to identify any dysfunctional patterns in the relationship. For instance, if when the addict feels unhappy, angry or stressed with their partner they learn to express their feelings and their needs calmly and without drama.
Because learning to express how they feel and discovering solutions to any problems within the relationship means they are less likely to self-medicate in the way they have previously.”Your correspondent with Dr Pam Spurr Such great advice, but in my experience, so many very intelligent, worldly people would rather jump under a bus than talk about emotions with their loved ones including counsellors and therapists I’ve known who in real life can’t do it. It’s a little like “Those who can do, those who can’t teach.”
Walis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor.
The next day I’m watching GMB and they’re attacking the couple of the moment, the royals Harry and Meghan. In between the name calling and all that’s going on, something hits me. Is Harry living with addiction? Apart from the fact I think he’s cute, you can’t help but really like him; he’s the fun royal. One evening I was in the night club Bujios in London’s exclusive South Kensington.
It was getting late, and there seemed to be some commotion, even excitement. “It’s a royal,” said the footballer next to me (who I won’t name). I asked which one, and he said, “The ginger one, Harry.” The woman next to me whispered, “I hear he likes to party.” It was a similar story when I was in Abu Dhabi. My good friend who runs a track there told me the exact same—“Lovely fella, Harry.
He likes to party.”—and gave me a wink. Judging by the photos coming from Las Vegas, Harry is the party wherever he goes. Yes, your average lad likes to party, and God knows I do. I just forget I’m not a lad anymore and refuse to be put in a box.
Having interviewed so many people who have battled addiction, especially gay men, they all seem to have some trauma during their early years through abuse, loss, or abandonment.
Surely Harry, who lost his mother Diana at such an early age, must have had a huge amount of trauma surrounding it, but was still expected to keep that stiff British upper lip for all to see. As we watched the young Princes Harry and William walk behind their mother’s coffin, a nation’s heart broke. It’s certainly a vision that will haunt me for life.
Mental health issues and addiction have been rife amongst the royals, from Henry VIII’s problems with commitment to Edward VII being known as a sex-crazed party animal, to the divine Princess Margaret, who never seemed to have a cigarette out of her mouth, and whose erratic behaviour could certainly be put down to addiction.
And how did Diana’s battle with mental health and eating disorders affect her boys? You can of course understand how Harry might crave normality, and when he met his fairytale princess it all looked like a dream come true. It was a chance to escape.
Is it possible that when he met Meghan, who comes from a dysfunctional family background too, and who clearly craves fame, that unhealthy pastime fraught with addiction, they became each other’s anchors—each other’s lovers and healers? If Harry ever wakes from love, will he be okay with the choices they’ve made?
Those shouting at the couple clearly haven’t seen what love can do when it becomes the person’s drug of choice. The Duke and Duchess of Windsor, aka Edward and Mrs Simpson. Harry’s great great uncle Edward VIII gave up the throne for love of the American divorcée Wallis Simpson, a woman rumoured to be gifted in the sexual department. No matter what is said, you have to draw similarities between Harry and Edward.
Yes, they are free to live their lives the way they want to—just because Harry was born into a family and a title does not mean he has to stay there. in this day and age you can choose to walk away—but the issue I see is that they walked away saying they wanted privacy, yet Meghan has never stopped the publicity machine since moving, first to Canada and then Santa Barbara. I personally don’t believe that, with a Netflix deal and many more vehicles in the pipeline, a nice private life away from public scrutiny was what Meghan ever wanted.
She certainly is having her cake and eating it too. My general feeling is that most in the acting profession are like Tinkerbell: they die if they’re not getting enough attention. My fear, if Harry ever falls out of love, would be for his already fragile mental health.
Let’s hope it’s love forever for them and that they have their fairytale ending, but remember, not all love stories are Mills and Boon, and fairy tales have dark, evil queens and fire-breathing dragons in them too, not just princesses and princes ending up in Utopia. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
P.S. Angela escaped Dirty John and lives happily in Singapore. Paulo is well and runs a garden centre. . Juliet is still happy with Coral and telling us Coral is going to be the next Carol King.
When it comes to our feet, many of us take them for granted and are rather neglectful. From my personal experience, thirty years of standing on my tippy toes to style people’s hair caused my toes to rebel, and suddenly one problem after another began to emerge.
It started with an unpleasant ingrowing toenail, and moved on to developing Plantar Fasciitis. I am no stranger to pedicures. Still, if I were not being treated at the hands of an expert, treatment could become a torture rather than an enjoyable experience. I realised that just having my toenails cut and filed was not doing the trick, and in fact, was leading to health issues.
Many of my pals and those in the know raved about a woman they called “The Foot Queen”, Fiona Patterson, who was based at Beauchamp Foot Care.
Fiona trained under the renowned Dr Scholl in Islington, obtaining her degree in Podiatry at Durham University in 2010. Additionally. she also undertook her degree in anaesthesia at Dublin University. Fiona has worked at Beauchamp Foot Care for 24 years, along with her three partners.
Fiona is a fantastically camp but no-nonsense lady who really fills you with confidence. I personally hate anything to do with my feet and so I spent the first two minutes apologising for how neglected they were. Fiona just nodded, however, reassuring me that they were just fine, and she would get them back to their original glory. I quickly felt relaxed and at ease, and as she expertly worked on my feet, I felt like I was being lifted into the air. I got chatting to the Foot Queen and tried to prize out some gossip about which famous people have wiggled their toes at her.
Let’s find out more from the women herself.
What inspired you to start treating people’s feet?
I decided to do podiatry as I knew I liked treating people and I’m not squeamish.
Results fell into place. It all kind of came naturally to me, to be really honest.
How did you train?
I trained at the London School of Chiropody (as it was then) and then obtained my BSc degree from Durham.
What are the most common foot problems?
I would put them in this order:
Callouses
Nail problems – there are a plethora of those!
Corns
Verrucae, athlete’s foot, and other conditions.
How can we best care for our feet between visits to the clinic?
I would advise that before washing them, you file them, and after washing them, thoroughly dry them, not forgetting in between the toes. Hardly anyone does this. Keep nails straight and short (ish). Cream them every day too. Any problems should be seen by a podiatrist.
Some of Fiona’s awards and qualifications .
What would you suggest athletes, who are more prone to sweating, use to look after their feet?
For athletes, see above re drying, especially between toes. If you have any signs of a fungal infection (itching, maceration of the skin, little blisters), see a podiatrist. Do not spend all day in your trainers. Take them off when you can.
How do you treat ingrowing toenails?
Ingrown toenails are usually self-inflicted. Be careful how you cut them. I treat them in two ways. If it’s a one-off event, a conservative treatment is required – carefully cutting the offending spike out.
If they’re recurrent, nail surgery is required under local anaesthetic. Sounds traumatic but isn’t, and well worth it for pain-free toes.
Who are your average clients at the clinic?
I’d say the average age are people in their fifties. We have tended the feet of pop royalty, actors, and the odd client you might want to curtsy for (shall we say).
How do you care for your shoes to make sure your feet are healthy?
You must make sure your shoes fit. Take into consideration the length, width and also the depth of the toe box. Loose shoes are nearly as bad as tight ones, so don’t keep your favourite ones if you are slipping in them.
Are my feet ready for only fans like lily’s?
Steven!!!! I am not even justifying that with a reply .
You also perform pedicures at the clinic. What is the most popular nail-polish colour?
We use Essie products in the clinic, and I’d say two colours. Wicked, a deep plum colour. It’s been around for years. Also, Ballet Slippers.
Quick-fire round
Favourite place in London?
Favourite place in London is Greenwich. Really nice vibe.
The one thing you would change in London.
I’d get rid of the bike lanes that seem to have popped up everywhere.
The one thing that would turn you off a person.
Can I say two things? Noisy eaters and ill-mannered people are a put off for me.
Your favourite film?
My favourite film is Phantom Thread with Daniel Day-Lewis.
What do you most love about your job?
The sense of satisfaction when a patient leaves me pain free
Actors and celebrities joined film makers and writers at this sold-out red-carpet event held at the “Old George Inn” Sykehouse.
Award winning actress Nina Wadia OBE with Champion charity ambassador Pink Ribbons Lisa Allen
There was great excitement as Nina Wadia OBE (Eastenders), Gary Webster straight from starring in the action thriller ‘Bermondsey Tales, his wife presenter turned author Wendy Turner Webster, acting legend Frazer Hines (celebrating 70 years in show business), local royalty rugby ace turned Hollywood actor Keith Mason, and presenter Danielle Broadbent and actress Michelle Jeram (Granite Harbour BBC ) were amongst the celebrity guest.
One of the surprises of the festival was a guest appearance by zoom from Tom Hank’s brother Jim Hanks.
Acting Legend Frazer Hines receives a life time achievement award
There were tears in the room as the evening was dedicated to the Irish song bird Rose-Marie who was meant to presenting but sadly passed on a few weeks before the event.
Acting King Gary Webster, with Pet-rescue presenter Wendy Turner Webster Join author Samantha Lee Howe on the red carpet .
The entry films were shown during the day. This included a selection of short and feature films submitted to the festival which had all been commended by the judges.
The festival was the brainchild of USA Today bestselling author and multiple-award winning screenwriter Samantha Lee Howe.
Rugby legend turned Hollywood actor Keith Mason with his partner Nicole Hudson
“I wanted to create an event which celebrated the art of film, and which rewarded filmmakers by getting their work in front of an appreciative audience”, she explained.
The evening was presented by David Howe and winner of the night were Taunya Gren from the USA, who had submitted three of her films to the festival: two shorts and one feature.
She ended up scooping seven awards in total, including the Best Director, Best Horror Feature and Best Short Film, while Seanna Ladd, Gren’s daughter, who appeared in all three films, was awarded Best Actress.
Celebrity hairdresser turned author Steven Smith Joins presenter Danielle Broadbent as they rock the red carpet
Comedy was provided by top comedians George Coppen and Alex Leam, while Linzi Gold sang three of her own songs to an appreciative audience.
There was a raffle in aid of the Yorkshire charity IDAS with some amazing prizes. Award-winning winery Nyetimber provided Champagne for the guests as they arrived.
The whole event was an incredible success with people coming from all over the UK, and even from America, to attend.
As it has appeared in the Channel 5 Documentary, ‘Life of Riley: Head Lesbian Of The World’. It seems like a great time to re-share.
Two years ago with the help Graham Martin’s brilliant photography, I created this iconic shoot and interview’s with two legends Denise Welch and Linda Riley.
“Never Judge a book by its cover ” Steven Smith meets Linda Riley and Denise Welch.
Decades ago, Marlene Dietrich, Tallulah Bankhead and Frida Kahlo blazed a trail with gender neutrality, taking what’s perceived as a masculine style, redefining it and making it their own, despite the outrage that often greeted them.
Today diversity is the buzzword everyone is talking about, reshaping not only the world of fashion but, increasingly, the workplace.
Great gains against bigotry and prejudice have been made in recent years but there have been signs recently of a backlash, which is being felt around the world by the LGBTQ community, minorities and those with disabilities.
Two of the leaders of the drive for diversity in the UK are Linda Riley, who runs the European Diversity awards and educates in schools across the UK, and her friend Denise Welch, the actress, presenter and author. Denise is an ambassador for MIND and was named “Ally of the Year” by Diva, Britain’s most popular magazine for lesbian and bi-sexual woman and their friends.
The two struck up what might be seen as an unlikely friendship two years ago and, to celebrate Diversity ithey got together for a photo shoot in which they return to the Berlin of the 1920s – and the woman who was the first to ‘strike a pose’.
Here they talk to Steven Smith about their friendship and how they see their roles in promoting and protecting diversity today.
It is two o’clock on a sunny Tuesday and Linda has just arrived at the location for our shoot, an art-themed apartment off the Tottenham Court road. Dressed in a white shirt, black suit and masculine black shoes, Linda has a reputation as a formidable woman who not only knows what she wants, but gets what she wants.
Having met Linda several times, the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” springs to mind. She may be sporting a traditionally masculine look, but she has a sensitive, almost girlish aura about her.
She tells me that people see what they want to see and many presume that if you appear as a stereotyped butch lesbian then you must be as hard as nails. She’s working class too, which she says makes some people assume that she’s not very bright when in fact she’s highly intelligent.
Exploding the assumptions that people so often make is one of the reasons she wanted to do the photo shoot: she is keen for people to look beneath the covers.
No, she doesn’t wear make-up, but that’s her own choice – “I just can’t be bothered,” she says. But there’s no reason why she shouldn’t wear it if she wanted to. You can be as butch as you like and still wear make-up; it’s your own choice. Linda wants people to see the person not a label.
Linda is happy to have her make-up done on this occasion and sits down quietly as she lets our make-up artist paint her magic.
One of the many things she loved about Denise Welch was that on one of their first meetings they were asked to do a picture together and Denise asked whether she had any lipstick on her.
“I could have just snapped, ‘No, judge your audience Denise!” Linda says, with a laugh. “But actually, it was great that she asked, because it meant she had not judged me and not put me in a pigeonhole based on how I looked. It was one of the things that made us gel.”
Linda stands out as someone who made a huge difference to attitudes about diversity and the LGBTQ community, where she is spreading her message across the Atlantic and to Australia, where she is in partnership with the publisher Silke Bade.
In the UK, she publishes Diva magazine and is executive producer of the hit online show, Different for Girls. She is also a patron of Albert Kennedy Trust, a charity that helps homeless LGBTQ youth in the UK. Linda created the Diversity in Media Awards and is founder and director of the European Diversity Award.
In her personal life, Linda has twin girls, Sophie and Phoenix, with her former partner of eight years, Sarah Garrett. Sophie made her acting debut this year in Different for Girls.
“For me diversity is about equality in life and the workplace. We should not see others as different but instead recognise their individual talents,” Linda says. “I am not suggesting that we should have quotas, but we must not discriminate.”
Linda left home at 15 after she came out as gay to her mother and was given the stark choice of undergoing electric shock therapy to “cure” her or get out of the house. She chose the latter and built an empire against all odds.
“There are so many inspirations that I draw from,” she tells me. “Nelson Mandela had a huge impact on society. Then there are people like the beautiful actress Sophie Ward, who gave enormous hope to many gay women when she came out publicly. It wasn’t long ago that being gay would have meant the kiss of death to a career in the film and television world; Sophie helped so many.”
Linda credits Martina Navratilova as a front-runner in the drive for acceptance of diversity. One of the greatest tennis players of all time, she was, however, the only female player not to receive sponsorship. “Today Ellen Degeneres and Cara Delevingne have plenty of sponsorships, so things are moving, but let’s not forget women like Martina who led the way.”
Linda met Denise two years ago. Denise had been nominated as Ally of the Year at the Diva Awards and Linda wanted to see if she was the real deal. Linda has a reputation for taking instant likes or dislikes to people, but it’s not like that, she explains. “No, it’s just that I’ve been about a bit and I know those who are just cashing in, or who have nothing more to them than their celebrity.”
“For me diversity is about equality in life and the workplace. We should not see others as different but instead recognise their individual talents,”
But they clicked immediately and since that first meeting have struck up a great friendship.
“You just feel relaxed with her. She is funny, real and not show-bizzy, although she is professional. She is interested in you and among gay women she has become a hero. The gay men love her too, but they have Kylie, Madonna and the likes, whom we love too. There is something about Denise – you feel you have been on her journey and that she gets you.”
Denise is up for Ally of the Year again, along with Jemma Redgrave of the Redgrave acting dynasty and Catherine Russell from the BBC’s Holby, whose character in the show is lesbian, as well as Sinitta, whose hit song So Macho has become a gay anthem.
“Sinitta is a huge hit among gay men, maybe because she iconic and camp and because of the song. But she does an incredible amount to aid diversity and in general among the LGBTQ community, not just for the boys.”
“It is obvious that from an early age Denise just did not see labels. She has so many gay friends and is open and funny. She has raised her boys not to judge and her son Matthew, from the band 1975, talks about diversity and gay rights like a chip off the old block.
“It was not so long ago that eyebrows would lift if a gay woman had a platonic relationship with a heterosexual woman. In my own experience women have often presumed instantly that I am coming on when we are just chatting.” This is one of the things Linda is trying to stomp out when she goes into schools to talk to the kids about diversity.
“For many kids the idea of kissing someone of the same sex is something they are uncomfortable with and I’m greeted with nervous coughs and shuffling about. I asked at one all-girls school ‘if this were a mixed school, would you presume that every boy would fancy you?’ It is the same with gay women – not every gay woman will fancy you either. It is quite amazing how you can make kids see things in a different light just by talking about it.”
Linda lets her two daughters make their own choices in clothes and one tends to go for the prettier side of fashion while the other opts for a more traditionally masculine look.
“Recently they were both attending a wedding and I actually encouraged the tomboy daughter to wear a dress like her sister. She came right back at me: ‘I will wear a dress mum when you do.’ Fair point! I thought back to the day I was forced into a dress and cringed.
“That’s not to say I won’t put my foot down. I am quite a traditional parent and for a time Nicki Minaj [the American-Trinidadian rapper] was banned from the house as it was far too provocative. I want them to make sensible choices and, as mum, it’s my job to guide them there.”
The shoot is nearly over, and Denise is trying to force more lipstick on Linda for a laugh. Linda has loved dressing up and says she may wear the black tie to an event again – but not the make-up.
A few days later some of the pictures are leaked online to applause from many of Linda’s friends and followers. “You look even more gorgeous with make-up,” many posted, although others were not so enthused, saying that a butch, strong woman does not need make-up.
Linda laughs. “Who’s to say? It’s what we need at the moment. It did take me aback when I arrived at the school gates to pick up the kids and the other mums were telling me how it suited me and how good I looked. It made me wonder just what I look like normally! But what I would tell the 15-year-old me is ‘just be you, and be proud, it will be alright, the future is bright, and you do need make-up to get there.’
Denise’s story
It is twelve thirty and Denise has arrived early at the shoot straight from an appearance on Channel 5’s Matthew Wright show. She’s thirsty and hungry and in need of sparkling water and snack.
The actress looks stunning but is not feeling good about herself today. However, she takes a deep breath and bustles around making the crew and her friends feel special. She’s enthusiastic about the project and can’t wait for Linda to arrive and get made up.
Denise tries on some of the clothes and makes up for the lack of a full-length mirror in the apartment by standing on the toilet seat so she can see herself in the bathroom mirror.
She can’t believe there’s not a proper mirror – “I am not being a pain, it’s just I want to get into a character and can’t if I can’t see myself,” she laughs.
Since the birth of her son Matthew, Denise has been battling anxiety and mental health issues and takes each day as it comes. She can’t predict how she will feel but has learnt to cope.
She is an advocate for mental health and a spokesperson for MIND, one of the many charities she supports. Denise hosts an annual ball in Manchester for The Gem Appeal, a research facility set up by her friend Karen Sutherland, which is developing lifesaving treatments for genetic diseases.
Denise’s work with the LBGTQ community has won her awards and her short film, Black Eyed Susan, which portrays a woman struggling with depression, has been widely acclaimed.
Soon she’s in make-up and the crew are in fits of laughter as she regales them with funny stories.
Denise received her Diva Ally of the Year award last year at a glittering ceremony at London’s Cafe De Paris and she confesses her biggest shock was when one of her heroines, Jennifer Saunders, handed over the trophy with the words: “This is a woman I would want on my team!”
Saunders presented the awards along with fellow Ab Fab veteran Harriet Thorpe. Says Denise: “The fact they had even heard of me left me speechless. It was all so surreal and friendly, and I could have bathed in the crowd, there was so much love. I was totally in awe of all these remarkable women.”
She admits it would be a dream to appear in Ab Fab – “some of my friends already call me June Whitfield so maybe I could be her long-lost daughter!”
Asked how it feels to have been so taken to heart by the lesbian community, Denise tells me that she regards it as a real honour.
“Honestly, I am grateful anyone has taken to me, but it maybe we have empathy for each other. I was lucky and raised not label or judge people. My dad’s a drag queen called Raquel and my mum, bless her soul, had many diverse friends. Being gay was nothing unusual and I have always just had friends. Their sexuality is not the important thing to me. They are my pals.
“It would be great if we could raise all kids like that. My son Matthew, who’s in the band 1975, jokes with me “when are you coming out mum?’ as yet again I am featured in a gay magazine. Matt is all about diversity and would defend to the end people’s rights to be themselves, as would my youngest, Louie, who’s 16. It makes me very proud.
Among the many causes she supports, Denise is a huge advocate for the transgender community and starred in Boy Meets Girl, the first BBC comedy series to feature transgender issues prominently.
“It is totally bizarre to me – any kind of homophobia, racism or discrimination – what are people frightened of? Many of my leading men have been gay, as are my friends. It’s just normal for me.”
For Denise, the word diversity means inclusion and equality. But she worries that for some it may just be a trendy word that they use as a box tick. She is hugely against that – and against certain groups claiming the word diversity as their own. She says tv and the media generally should do more to promote diversity – “It’s insulting to any minority group to be included just because they are a box tick. It should be whoever is best for the job.”
“It is totally bizarre to me – any kind of homophobia, racism or discrimination – what are people frightened of? Many of my leading men have been gay, as are my friends. It’s just normal for me.”
Denise loves the fact that she’s become an “honorary lesbian” since she and Linda became friends. “I didn’t have many female gay friends – no idea why not – but since meeting Linda I’ve come to know so many. I adore them, they make me feel so comfortable and happy. ”
She met Linda at the LGBTQ awards through a friend of hers, Dan Hughes. “When Dan said Linda Riley, who created the LGBTQ awards, wants to meet you, I was a little nervous as she is a powerful figure and has a formidable reputation.
“When I walked in she was sitting with Bobby Norris from TOWIE and we just instantly clicked and got on like a house on fire. Then I started to learn about all the wonderful work she has done. She’s a trail blazer is Linda, and she puts her money where her mouth is, and champions causes all over the world. I think I bring out the girly, fun side of her and in turn she has made me more of a warrior.”
Denise is about to appear in the second series of Different for Girls and Linda is the executive producer of the show. The lesbian drama sees Denise come out in her fifties, much to the amusement of her screen sister, played by long-term friend Charlie Hardwick.
Denise is a huge fan of the first series, which is based on the book by Jackie Lawrence. She loved the show, as it showed women in a different light without the stereotypes. So often lesbian women, like a lot of transgender people, are portrayed either as prostitutes or victims.
“Jackie wanted to write something where it says, ‘no lesbians were killed during the writing of this book.’ My character is called Maeve and she comes out when she realises she fancies Theresa May.
“Jackie is talking about writing a spin off for Charlie and me in the genre of Grace and Frankie but set in Newcastle. She has also created a forum called Lesbian Box Office, which is not just for lesbians but for everyone in the community and their allies. There is talk of me fronting a lesbian dating series and I would love that.”
Denise also has her first lesbian screen kiss in the show. “It was quite daunting – it always is when you have to kiss someone you’re not romantically involved with. My love interest is Sophie Ottley, who is the director’s girlfriend. It was funny after doing it and I did think this is a little too familiar!”
After a great shoot, she kisses good-bye to Linda – but not before trying to add even more lipstick to her and take a selfie. You have the feeling that this is friendship for life.
Heidi Gammon, 2Shades and Gateway Radio’s agony aunt, answers your questions this Pride month.
Dear Heidi
I stumbled upon your column by accident. My daughter Is gay, and I have found it very hard to accept. First of all, I am catholic, and her lifestyle is not acceptable to my faith.
Trust me Heidi I love my daughter, but I am really struggling to accept her girlfriend who she has lived with for four years and won’t have her in the house. She looks like a man, and I find it embarrassing when people see her. My daughter says that they plan to have children and that breaks my heart. Now she says she won’t see me if I do not accept her life and partner. Having tried counselling already what can I do? Losing my daughter is not an option.
Vicky, South End
Dear Vicky
This makes me very sad. Please be assured I have total respect for others’ beliefs. It is great you tried counselling but maybe you did not go the right one. With all due respect, everything you are saying is homophobic. If you truly love your daughter, you will embrace her and love her as a mother should. Who cares what people think of the person who loves your daughter? You need to respect who your daughter is. Really, I understand your pain but it’s time to let go of that mindset. Who wants to be around someone who judges and discriminates against them, especially when it is a person that is supposed to love them? It may be an idea to try counselling as a family https://www.rainbow-project.org/family-support/
You will lose your daughter if you continue down this path.
All my best, Heidi
Dear Heidi
Please help me, I did a terrible thing. My husband wanted to spice things up and bring another person into the bedroom. He did not want an open relationship so, with trepidation we went ahead with a guy we met online. It was fun and we saw him a few times.
Really Heidi I thought that was it but having bumped into this guy in town, we started to see each other behind my husband’s back as he said he’s not really into him. He has asked me to go on holiday with him. Having agreed and telling my husband it is work related, now I am getting cold feet. What can I do?
Really, I am all for those who want to try different things but boundaries must be in place after a lengthy conversation. Although it’s not for me, many couples have open relationship and experiment. When you invite another person into your relationship you are opening a pandora’s box. Be careful what you wish for I say.
It sounded like you thought you were happy. Bringing someone else in could have unearthed that your relationship may not have been what you thought. The fact you’re even thinking of going on holiday behind your husband’s back tells me things are not right. It is time to ask yourself how you see your future. Time to sit down and talk to your husband, after all he opened the box leading you to want to deceive and break the trust. Without trust there is no relationship. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
My gay brother is a hoot, but he won’t stop flirting with straight guys.Now he is flirting with my husband. Alex my husband thinks it is funny but it is annoying and embarrassing for me. Having put my foot down my brother is not speaking to me. What can I do?
Kirsty, Essex
You’re kidding me, Kirsty. You’re quiet right, straight or gay, there is a limit to the flirting game and you have every right to be annoyed. It was right to share your feelings.
It sounds like your brother is a bit of an exhibitionist and they can be fun. Exhibitionism can be a drug and you can get hooked. He needs to think of your feelings too. Trust me he will be back in touch. You sound like a great sister so just ignore him till he comes to you (and he will) . But stick to your guns when he does appear licking his wounds.
Love Heidi
Dear Heidi
Love the column, please can you help me? I am so frightened to ask anyone out as my fear of rejection is so great. No-one asks me out and so my life has no one romantic in it. How can overcome my fear?
Love
Andy, Leeds
Andy my love, my heart goes out to you. Ok I need you to shake yourself down.
You can go to an lGBTQQ+ councillor https://pinktherapy.com or if you cannot afford that, the NHS offer free talking therapy sessions . I am taking it you have tried online dating; you do not have to go on GRINDER or Facebook, and many other sites offer a softer approach to dating . Or why not join an lgbtqq+ group https://www.mesmac.co.uk/our-services/leeds/support-social-groups
Here is a selection in Leeds. It is a nice way to meet people in non-sexual way that could lead to romance.
2Shades Magazine 