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The Passive Aggressive’s

By Steven Smith Stevens Viewz

Ah… the Passive Aggressives. We’ve all met them. They open their mouths and what comes out sounds like a compliment—but it’s actually a veiled put-down. Before you can respond, they’ve already moved on to a new subject. Like silent assassins, they strike, then dare you to recover from the blow.

If you say, “Hey, would you like that said to you?”, they recoil in horror and reply, “Why are you so sensitive, darling? It was a compliment,” shaking their heads like they’re the victim of #PassiveAggression.

From:
“I do admire how you keep going when others would have thrown in the towel ages ago—so brave,”
to:
“You know that outfit suits you—don’t let others put you off, whatever they say.”

Favourite?

My personal favourite came from a friend who’d actually introduced me to my now-best male pal. She told me:
“So glad it’s going well with you two… you shouldn’t care what others are saying about you both.”

Let’s not forget the classic:
“You can’t tell anyone I told you this, but so-and-so said XYZ about you.”
My reply? Always: “Why were they so comfortable telling you?”

Now, much passive aggression comes from strangers, but the deepest cuts usually come from people we love, see regularly—or worse—family members.

Madeleine, a dear friend of mine, simply can’t help herself.

We All Know a Few Wicked Queens

The trouble is, I love her, and I tend to overlook her barbed remarks. Picture this: dinner with a group of friends as she regales the table with a story—
“Oh darling, we were sitting up in premium class while Steven was way back in economy, squashed between two people.”

Everyone chuckles and looks at me sympathetically. In reality, she was also in economy. A bit further from me, yes—but the same class. Why make me the fall guy in her tale?

I don’t correct her. Honestly, I’m speechless. And who wants to play #PassiveAggressiveTennis? I know she loves me—really.

Spelling Lessons

Another agent friend, Antonia, has a wicked sense of humour, and her loyalty redeems a lot. I was so looking forward to lunch with her. She’d just returned from New York, promoting her girlfriend’s record, and we planned to pop into a gallery event where one of her friends was exhibiting.

But it didn’t take long for the first blow:
“Darling Donna [her girlfriend] and I were just saying—you forget what a great writer you are—pause—as you’re just such an appalling speller.”
Then, after another pause:
“Does someone help you?” she asked, casually munching a root vegetable like we were discussing the weather.

It’s true—I’m dyslexic. Spelling is not my strong suit. But after over 20 years writing for publications around the world, and two published books, I’ve earned my place. If it weren’t for journalist and presenter Jane Moore encouraging me—
“You have the voice. The rest will come—just do it.”

With technology, hard work, and mentors like Jane, I carved out a writing career. These days, people actually rate my work—and that means a lot. So I just smile and explain that yes, I have editors and tech, and the tools are better now.

Before I finish, the topic shifts—to Donna hitting the charts in the U.S.

Still Not Done

Later, at the packed gallery event, Madeleine introduces me to a group of people:
“Everyone, this is Steven. He’s a great writer—but can’t spell.”

They look bemused. Madeleine has struck—and vanished—leaving me standing there hoping no one starts a crowdfund for my spelling lessons.

Arlena & Real Life

Life isn’t like the movies when the passive-aggressive gang comes for you. Most of us feel like rabbits in headlights—unlike the deliciously sharp Dames Diana Rigg and Maggie Smith in Evil Under the Sun.

Maggie, as Daphne Castle, greets Diana Rigg’s character Arlena Marshall:
“Arlena and I were in the chorus of a show together—not that I could compete. Even in those days, she could always throw her legs in the air higher than any of us—and wider!”

Arlena retorts,
“Kenneth, what a surprise. When you told me the island was run by a quaint little landlady, I had no idea it was Daphne Castle.”

There’s a fine line between bitchy and passive-aggressive.

Mother-in-Law Moments

A friend’s mother-in-law, taken backstage after a show, hugged the leading man and gushed about how amazing he was. The leading lady popped in to say hello. She turned to her and said,
“I thought you were great… don’t listen to those reviews.”

Silence. The actress smiled, made her excuses, and left. When we later pointed out it was a line from The Feud (Joan Crawford vs. Bette Davis), the poor woman was mortified—she hadn’t meant it to cut. In hindsight? Hysterically funny.

The day before, she’d overheard me chatting to a famous pop star:
“Who was that?” she asked.
I should’ve said, “Mind your own business,” like my mum would. But I answered. Her reply?
“Why would they want to talk to you?”

Gobsmacked. And somehow, older people get away with more. She really is lovely, though.

LGBTQ and the Passive Blow

As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, we often face passive aggression. It’s exhausting.

At a wedding in Guernsey, where the bride was 20 years older than the groom (so you’d think a liberal crowd, right?), a woman rushed up:
“Oh, you two must be Mandy’s gay friends from London!”

She beamed like she expected us to burst into I Am What I Am. I tried some small talk. She wasn’t done:
“David is gay—from EastEnders!”
I replied, “Really? Amazing. I’ll look him up in the book.”
Her eyes widened, “There’s a book?”
“Yes, we’re all registered. I’ll bring you a copy next time I visit Mandy.”

Okay, that may have been me being passive-aggressive.

From:
“I don’t mind the gays. My hairdresser’s one.”
to:
“I’m all for it—but don’t you mind not being able to have children?”
We’ve all heard those.

Let’s not get started on the “bitchy queen” lines:
“Don’t mind me, it’s all in jest. I’m just a bitch.”
You’re waiting for them to hand you the poisoned apple. “Go on, bite, dear.”

What the Experts Say

Dr Pam

Experts say the best way to handle passive-aggressive people is not to react.

Self-help psychologist Dr Pam Spurr (@DrPamSpurr) says:

“People can be passive-aggressive for many reasons, but usually it’s because they have a manipulative streak.

If they want to put you down, the easiest way is with a backhanded compliment. It wrong-foots you and leaves you wondering what they really meant. That’s emotional manipulation.

She adds:

“Passive aggression often comes from resentment, envy, or jealousy—sometimes without them even realising it.

Some people, however, do know exactly what they’re doing. They enjoy the power of the subtle jab.”

Her advice?

  • Call it out calmly—especially if you see the person often.
  • If it’s someone you barely know—ignore it, put it in perspective.
  • Realise: it’s more about them than it is about you.

According to LearningMind.com, passive aggression also includes chronic lateness (to gain attention), controlling events, undermining others behind their backs, playing the victim, or pretending there’s no issue when there clearly is.

Psychology Today agrees:

  • Recognise the behaviour.
  • Stay calm.
  • Don’t take it personally.
  • Confront it if needed.

Blackmail and Backlash

These all sound simple on paper. But for people like me—who hate confrontation—even a kind challenge results in tears and emotional blackmail. I’ll do anything to stop someone crying.

Growing up, pointing out when someone was wrong led to a meltdown. Still today, if I gently mention something upsetting, I get:
“I can’t say anything right,”
soon followed by,
“I had a terrible childhood.”

Let’s be honest—in the UK, from the 60s to the 80s (and sometimes now), talking about feelings can feel like a deadly sin.

Teach Them Young

Signe Whitson, LSW, writing for Psychology Today, notes:

“Without directly addressing passive-aggressive behaviour, the pattern will play out again and again. For real change, benign confrontation is necessary.”

She argues being assertive isn’t something to fear.

I agree. Imagine if we taught kids that if someone they love says something hurtful, it’s okay to speak up and share how it made them feel.

As Dr Pam says,

“Sometimes they don’t even realise what they’re doing.”

END

Steven Smith
@asksteve2c
Psychology Today – Passive Aggressive Diaries
@DrPamSpurr
Dr Pam’s show + podcast series

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“Stop the world—I need to get off!”

Steven’s Viewz

“Stop the world—I need to get off!”

I hear many of you saying that in these bizarre and often crazy times. You could be forgiven for wondering if the great God (if you believe in such an entity) might reach down and reply, “Sure! Will you be paying for that in crypto, Bitcoin, or the old-fashioned pound?”
He may even offer you one of His NFT-signed art posters, promising that once you re-join Earth, it will have quadrupled in value—guaranteeing your return comes with a bang and, most certainly, millionaire status… well, in crypto land, at least. Just as Alice drops through a hole in search of it all.

Let’s give some extra love for Tracey Emin’s  Digital Editions.

Well, I found myself asking what an NFT is last year. I keep hearing it mentioned at events and parties. A friend visiting LA called and said,
“Darling, you’re no one here if you’re not into NFTs or crypto.”
Cue the sinking feeling—like when someone tries to sell me a multi-level marketing scheme.
“People felt the same about stamps when they started,” she added.

Fair point. Our great-grans kept money under the mattress after losing trust in banks during the Great Depression of 1929. And let’s not even get started on Lehman Brothers filing for bankruptcy in 2008, leaving people penniless and robbed of their life savings.

NFT (Non-Fungible Token) is a record on a blockchain associated with a particular digital or physical asset. Ownership is recorded and transferable via the blockchain, making NFTs something that can be sold or traded.

So what is an NFT in relation to art? An NFT is a digital asset that exists purely in the digital world—you can’t touch it, but you can own it. It can take the form of any digital file: an artwork, an article, music, or even a meme. For instance, Disaster Girl, the original photo, sold for $500K earlier this year.

Disaster Girl original photo sold as an NFT for $500k

But is it the emperor’s new clothes? For every artist who champions NFT art, there are others who won’t touch this new way of trading. Boy George has opened his own digital platform: www.cryptoqueenznft.com. Though he hasn’t sold through auction houses like Sotheby’s or Christie’s, his work has fetched significant sums at charity events—and he certainly has talent. Tracey Emin has also joined the NFT art scene alongside several well-known artists. But many remain firmly against it.

In Business of Business, a piece titled Artists Against NFT quoted Zilch, an Atlanta-based artist:
“Personally, I’m against NFTs. However, we have to acknowledge that the system exists. It still requires regulation—it’s not a free-for-all, unmoderated space where all hell breaks loose. Systems get made, systems get abused, then they get regulated.”

London saw its first NFT gallery, Quantus Gallery, open earlier this year. The star-studded launch featured Ant Middleton, makeup model Jodie Kidd, and the dashing Callum Best, mingling with socialites, City boys, and what looked like would-be Kray brothers. It was a glamorous and eclectic crowd—and the buzz was undeniable.

Art is subjective, and let’s not forget where the term con artist comes from. A brilliant salesman can sell snow to an Eskimo. It’s the same with paintings. Remember ART, the award-winning play? Serge, indulging his taste for modern art, buys an expensive, completely white painting. Marc is horrified. Their friendship unravels over what constitutes “art,” while Yvan tries to play peacemaker. Art, ultimately, is what you decide it is.

Every wise boy seems to be dipping into crypto. I’m absolutely convinced that, like in multi-level marketing, some will make a mint—and others will get burnt. At one point, my inbox was flooded with “get rich with crypto or Bitcoin” invitations. I nearly joined one, as many top business names were involved. But during the meeting, it became clear they were investing in… well, something that wasn’t quite there.
“We’re hoping to get Adele and Tom Cruise involved,” they said. Apparently, people will pay thousands to sit at a computer in NFT sunglasses. I guess people have spent fortunes on dressing up avatars in virtual games for years. It certainly helped the Kardashians build their portfolio.

But when I asked what Adele’s or Tom Cruise’s agents thought of all this, the answers were vague. It was clearly a wish list. I followed my instinct and said: “No, thank you.” A year later, despite the impressive credentials of its founders, the venture has gone nowhere.

There’s definitely a strong element of the hard sell from NFT enthusiasts. Personally, I’d still take the advice of my financial advisors and avoid anything with a gambling edge—especially if you have an addictive personality or can’t afford to lose. Most serious investors in high-end art use qualified advisors and buy through reputable auction houses or galleries that mentor their artists. They often request first refusal if the work is resold.

NFT art is certainly something to watch. If you have disposable income, then by all means—fill your boots. But in a volatile market, with crypto prices constantly swinging, it’s not something that helps me sleep at night.

I asked a woman who’s doing an incredible job promoting NFTs how she was paid. As she knocked back a glass of champagne, she replied:
“God, money, darling!”
That said it all to me.

Added Note: Buying Art as an Investment

Added Note: Buying Art as an Investment

When buying art as an investment, choose wisely. While some artists are natural-born salespeople—able to “sell snow to Eskimos,” as the saying goes—it’s important to remember that enthusiasm and charm are not guarantees of long-term value.

Be cautious when you hear the phrase “It sold at auction.” This often refers to a charity auction or fundraising dinner—not a prestigious sale at Christie’s or Sotheby’s. There is a significant difference between these venues in terms of how the sale reflects on an artwork’s market value and provenance.

Reputable artists are usually represented by established and well-known galleries for a reason. These galleries not only help manage the artist’s career but also serve to protect the integrity and long-term value of their work. Many of them will request first refusal if you ever decide to resell the artwork, helping maintain consistency and trust in the secondary market.

Serious collectors often work with art consultants or experts to guide their purchases—again, to protect the investment’s value. There are always exceptions in the art world, of course, but if you’re not properly informed or protected, and an artist has persuaded you their work is worth £50,000, don’t be surprised or disappointed if, when it comes time to resell, it turns out not to be worth the canvas it’s painted on.

Art should be enjoyed and loved, but if you’re buying with investment in mind, do your homework—and seek trusted advice.

END

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Steven’s Viewz How to Give a Bad or Good Dinner Party

it is not always the food that makes a perfect dinner party

Steven’s Viewz
How to Give a Bad Dinner Party

In the ’70s and ’80s, dinner parties were a regular thing. With shows like Come Dine with Me and the rising costs of eating out, dinner parties are making a huge comeback. Though some still entertain at venues such as restaurants, there’s nothing more intimate and fun than having a group of friends—or interesting people—over to your home for a private dinner party. But as much as a good host can make it a terrific night to remember, the wrong recipe for an evening can lead to a dinner party your guests will talk about for weeks—for all the wrong reasons.

When you’re hosting for wine connoisseurs or food gourmets, the conversation may revolve around cuisine and drink. But believe it or not, the best dinner parties don’t always centre on either. Of course, putting on a good show that doesn’t have you locked away in the kitchen all night is still a good idea.

In fact, one of the most amusing dinner parties I attended began with a call from a hostess who, not being known for her culinary skills and usually opting to dine out, invited me over to see her new kitchen. The day after the invite, she phoned:
“Darling, would you do your marvellous chicken fajitas on Friday?”
Asking was she planning a potluck (when everyone brings a course), Fajitas , don’t travel well. There was a pause before she added, “Oh, I thought you could cook?”
I replied, “No, it’s your turn,” and hung up!

Not my chicken fajitas , Mine look better .

I arrived at her stunning Hampstead home on the Friday. The table was beautifully set, and the new oven was lit—I was suitably impressed. The hostess had that pleased-with-herself look written all over her face; in fairness, this wasn’t her forte. Wine flowed, and nibbles were served, but an hour and a half later, no food had appeared. Looking at the oven, the chicken was still as raw as it had been on the Waitrose shelf.
“My love, is the oven actually working?” I gently enquired.

An hour later, we were still no further along. The hostess declared the new oven faulty and called for Chinese. We laughed and put the world to rights until two-thirty in the morning—it was just an amazing night.

It was topped off by a call on Tuesday: the repairman said the oven wasn’t broken—she’d simply forgotten to turn it on. I couldn’t help but ask when she was auditioning for Come Dine with Me. how she was going to cook ?
She replied, “Darling, you’re coming over and doing it for me!”

However, for your standard dinner party—especially if you’re not ordering in—don’t cook something that keeps you in the kitchen half the night or that hasn’t been tried and tested. Your guests have come to see you, not watch you stress. Pre-cooking as much as possible is always wise.

Also, always check what your guests eat. At one dinner I attended, they served an enormous piece of goat’s cheese as a starter. Honestly, I’d rather suck someone’s feet than eat that. I used the trick of eating without chewing, washing it down with water. Every time I looked at the plate, it seemed no smaller. Eventually, the host noticed, and I had to admit defeat. They looked less than impressed.

It’s smart to have eggs or a vegan option on standby—just in case a guest hasn’t disclosed their dietary needs.

What really makes a dinner party memorable is the company. Years ago, a socialite who was an expert at entertaining shared some tips with me. Never bring the same type of people together. Lady X would be far more intrigued sitting next to an up-and-coming artist than another socialite. Invite those who can sing for their supper—interesting, amusing guests who can tell a good story or keep up with the latest in books, style, or theatre.

Dinner or lunch party’s can be great but think it out first .

Bring five actors together (unless they’re in the same production) and you risk them trying to outdo each other.

Being a good host is more than just checking glasses and topping up wine. It’s about ensuring your guests are enjoying themselves and actually get to speak. We’ve all been to that dinner where the narcissist dominates the conversation—and even when they pause, they jump back in to reclaim the spotlight. As host, it’s your role to steer the conversation so quieter guests also get a chance. Ask about books, films, theatre—whatever might draw them out.

And please, don’t try to be controversial. Sure, a lively debate can be great—if you know your guests well—but don’t go looking for drama. It could end your night on a sour note.

Avoid topics like age, weight, salaries, and politics. One evening, a guest at a dinner I hosted turned to another and said, “You know, when we get to our age it all needs a little lift—but I love my forties.”
The guest was livid: “I’m 32!” she cried, getting up and leaving the table.

Let the conversation flow. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a Stephen Fry at your table, make sure everyone has a voice. And never, ever be the Machiavellian host who opens the night with, “So, who voted for Brexit?!”

Do not be that machiavellian host and try and spark controversy .

One of the worst dinner parties I’ve attended had all the wrong ingredients. We were eating out, so the food was decent—for some. There were quite a few of us, and things started badly: someone I love had reprimanded another guest for being late, which was rich coming from them. Pot, kettle, black, I thought. They’ve never been on time in their life. When I pointed that out, offence was taken—and they were still seething as we arrived.

Our host, Mark—though lovely and amusing—wanted to talk about one topic: a certain lady we’ll call Alice. He and Alice were once close, but no longer, which made her a target. Now, I love gossip as much as the next person, but I prefer it light, witty, and name-free. I’m known for knowing the gossip—but those who know me also know I rarely name names. I’m educated enough to entertain without tearing someone down.

But this monologue about Alice’s every fault dragged on and on. It felt like the only thing missing was Alice’s corpse—she was being verbally hacked to pieces. One hour later, Mark was still talking about Alice, with brief interruptions for “Let’s get another round in,” and one guest returning their starter three times. Some guests had begun looking at their phones. One even mouthed “Come sit with me!”

I suggested that, since we’d established Alice was a c—, perhaps we could move on.
That was met with, “Mark is talking—sssh!”

I would have left, but I was staying with one of the guests. Just when I thought the evening couldn’t get worse, a very late guest arrived—the cuckoo, who had seemingly replaced Alice in Mark’s affections. She briefly talked about another of my least favourite subjects—dieting—before the topic swerved straight back to Alice, in which the cuckoo revelled.

The toxic energy was palpable. Our host, smart as he was, was no Oscar Wilde, and only seemed aware of his own voice. Thank God I smoke—those breaks saved me. I even got a text from another guest: “Help!” They were bored stiff.

The cherry on top? Mark wasn’t even hosting. We were all going Dutch. After over two hours of his monologue, one of the guests even drove home drunk.

Here’s my final tip: If you’re hosting drinkers, be responsible. Make sure they have somewhere to stay, book a cab, or use a company that will drive their car home for them. As you pour that last tequila shot, you do not want to hear that someone was in an accident on the way home.

Happy dining,
Steven

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The Fab Four for sleep.

Fab 4 for Sleep

Having trouble sleeping—or just want the best natural help to drift off without taking a pill? Here are my fab four to stop you from counting sheep as you float away to la-la land.

1) Sour Cherry Juice

Tart cherries, among many other benefits, contain melatonin. Increasing your melatonin levels can help you fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer, offering a natural way to drift through the night. Cherry juice can also help fight inflammation, reduce muscle soreness, and boost your immune system.

Try drinking a glass of juice an hour before bedtime. This gives it time to enter your system—and gives you time to use the bathroom, so your bladder won’t wake you up in the night! If you don’t like the taste of cherry juice, try it in capsule form. Another great tip is to have a warm lavender bath before bed.

🔗 Buy Cherry Juice Concentrate on Amazon

2) Fresh Face Pillows

Your bedding plays a big part in how well you sleep. My secret weapon is the Fresh Face Pillow—a memory foam pillow wrapped in a silk pillow slip. I’ve always been a devotee of silk and memory foam pillows, but this is different: this pillow literally gives you a cuddle. It’s sheer heaven as you lie back and prepare to dream. It’s also an incredible anti-ageing tool—the silk allows your face to breathe and glide, while the pillow’s unique shape encourages back sleeping, helping prevent those dreaded sleep lines.

If you’re like me and used to sleeping on your side, the Fresh Face Pillow may take some getting used to. In fact, it felt a little claustrophobic the first time I tried it! But the idea of waking up without looking like a giant gorilla had assaulted me in the night made me persevere.

During the first few weeks, I’d use it for short lie-downs with a face mask—it felt like I was at the beautician’s! By the second week, I started using it for full nights. At first, I still woke on my side, but soon it became a must at bedtime. I cannot recommend it enough. Just remember to hand-wash your silk pillowcase or use a delicate setting.

🔗 Visit freshfacepillow.com

3) This Works Best-Selling Deep Sleep Pillow Spray

This Works Deep Sleep Pillow Spray not only claims to help you fall asleep faster—it also makes your pillows and bedroom smell gorgeous. With a calming blend of lavender, vetivert, and wild camomile, it eases anxiety and helps improve sleep quality. When we sleep, our skin cells repair damage and remove toxins, making deep sleep one of the best beauty secrets.

A few sprays on your pillow before bed is all it takes. And if you have time, a warm lavender bath beforehand works wonders too.

🔗 Buy on thisworks.com

4) The Mirari Life Grace Silk Velvet Eye Mask

One of the best aids for sleep and beauty is an eye mask. Blocking out light can be a game-changer—especially on long-haul flights. But not just any mask will do. The delicate skin around your eyes deserves something gentle. I always recommend a silk eye mask, and the Mirari Life Grace Silk Velvet Eye Mask is pure perfection.

Made from a luxurious silk-velvet blend, this mask is thick enough to give a complete blackout effect—ideal for even the most light-sensitive sleepers. It also helps reduce sleep creases and preserve your skincare. Yes, it’s a bit pricier than standard eye masks, but it’s a wonderful investment in your beauty regime. Plus, it’s perfect for travel.

🔗 Shop the Grace Silk Velvet Eye Mask

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GOING UNDERGROUND

Steven’s Viewz

Going Underground

It was hard not to stifle a chuckle when I spotted the old familiar sign on the London Underground: “DO NOT STARE.”Really? How is it even possible to avoid making eye contact—no matter how hard you try—when there’s a man across from you mining his nose with such vigour that you worry his fingers might pop out through his eyeball? Or that couple in the corner, so utterly absorbed in each other that you’re not quite sure where to look—especially when she takes a break from kissing to slide her tongue into his ear. lets not start on ” If you see something that does not look right please report it ”

But that’s London for you. A glorious, bustling, cosmopolitan city teeming with people from every walk of life, each more stylish or eccentric than the last. The Tube isn’t just a means of transportation—it’s a rolling reality show. Every trip, every change of line, brings a new cast of characters and a fresh episode of human theatre.

Personally, I’ve always loved the art of people-watching. Airports were once my favourite stage. I’d arrive early just for the chance to observe humanity in transit. Back when loudspeakers used to blare out dramatic announcements—“Mrs Jones, please come to Desk Seven. You have an urgent message.” I never followed to see who Mrs Jones was, but oh, how my imagination ran wild. Maybe she was running away with a lover who’d had a sudden change of heart. Maybe she was being lured back to a secret double life. Most likely, it was something terribly dull—but still, it was enough to get the mental movie reels spinning.

Imagination has always been my saving grace. It’s carried me through life’s best and worst moments. The joy of observing life and its never-ending cast of characters continues to fuel me. As Shakespeare said:
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.”

But let’s return to the Underground, which has been whisking Londoners beneath the city’s streets since 1863. That “DO NOT STARE” sign, upon closer inspection, had smaller print I hadn’t noticed before:
“INTRUSIVE STARING OF A SEXUAL NATURE IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND IS NOT TOLERATED.”
Fair point—and an important one.

Over a decade ago, I interviewed twelve Page 3 models about their experiences with dating and sex. Shockingly—but sadly not surprisingly—every single one of them had experienced some form of sexual harassment on the Tube. From groping in crowded carriages to lingering, uncomfortable touches during rush hour, it was a grim reminder of the darker side of commuting. Everyone deserves to travel safely, without fear of violation or discomfort.

Yes, let’s stamp out intrusive behaviour. But while we’re putting up signs, how about a few more reminders—common courtesies that could make life better for all of us packed into those rolling metal sausages?

Here’s my updated list of suggested announcements for the London Underground, to be posted right alongside “DO NOT STARE”:

  • Uncross your legs. No one wants your muddy footprint on their trousers when the train jerks to a stop.
  • Remove your backpack. Place it between your feet—don’t swing it around like a medieval weapon during rush hour.
  • Move your bags. That seat is not reserved for your handbag. Let others sit down.
  • Offer your seat. A little kindness never goes out of fashion. If you see someone elderly, pregnant, or visibly struggling, give up your seat. Don’t pretend to be engrossed in your phone or suddenly blind. But again… DO NOT STARE.
  • Leave the snacks at home. This isn’t the Orient Express. No one wants to arrive smelling like a bucket of fried chicken or a spicy chow mein from Mr Wok.
  • Escalator etiquette matters. DO NOT stop dead at the top to check your phone or sort your shopping. Move clear—or risk being shoved, bumped, or bruised.
  • If someone touches you inappropriately, report it immediately. We all have a right to feel safe.

London’s Underground is legendary around the world for good reason. It’s fast, far-reaching, and, if you ask me, oddly charming. Yes, the fares could be more reasonable—please, Sadiq Khan, no more price hikes—but it remains one of the most efficient and fascinating ways to travel.

So let’s respect it. Let’s love it. And let’s all do our bit to keep the journey pleasant for everyone.

And remember—DO NOT STARE.
Even if that Colin Farrell lookalike in rugby shorts gets on at Clapham.

https://tfl.gov.uk/modes/tube

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Columns Lifestyle People Poetry

Michael Edde top hair and beard tips for summer.

Love Island star drops into see Michael.

Michael Edde, celebrity barber and owner of a legendary shop in Earl’s Court, London, is creating a buzz among locals, celebrities, and some of the best-groomed men in the city.

Known for his sharp cuts, signature fades, and impeccable beard work, Michael has become a go-to name for those who take grooming seriously.

In this issue of 2Shades magazine, he shares his top 5 summer tips to keep your hair and beard looking fresh, stylish, and perfectly on point — no matter how high the temperatures rise.

From heat-proof styles to beard maintenance in the sun, Michael’s expert advice will have you turning heads all season long.

Michael with presenting star Eamonn Holmes .

Top five tips for Summer hair .

Summer is all about keeping it sharp but effortless. I always tell my clients to go for clean, textured cuts that work with the natural flow of their hair — not against it. Think lighter on the sides and a little movement on top; it keeps things fresh without needing too much product.

Humidity can be your enemy, so choose styling products wisely. Swap out heavy waxes or pomades for lightweight clays or sea salt sprays. They give hold without weighing the hair down, and they let you run your hands through it without that greasy feel.

If you’re growing out a fade or wearing a buzz cut, now’s the perfect time to experiment. Sunlight adds natural dimension, and a well-blended skin fade can really frame the face and show off bone structure — especially with a bit of tan.

Shorter styles are ideal in the heat, but that doesn’t mean boring. Ask your barber for a cut that suits your face shape and hair type — something that looks good messy or styled, so you’re not locked into one look.

And finally, book in for regular neck trims and tidy-ups. Nothing kills a clean summer look faster than a fuzzy neckline or untamed sideburns. Little maintenance goes a long way in looking polished without looking overdone.

Top Five tips for summer beards.

Summer can be brutal on beards, so it’s all about smart grooming. The sun, heat, and humidity will dry out your beard faster than you think, so hydration is everything. I always recommend using a lightweight beard oil daily — it softens the hair, nourishes the skin underneath, and keeps you from itching like mad in the heat.

Washing your beard properly is key. Don’t just use your regular shampoo — that’ll strip out the natural oils. Go for a dedicated beard wash two to three times a week, and follow it up with a conditioner if your beard’s longer or feeling coarse.\

If you’re growing it out, patience is your best friend — but so is a good shape-up. Don’t wait until it’s wild and uneven. Pop in every couple of weeks for a tidy-up around the cheeks, neckline, and ‘tache. A clean outline makes even a shorter beard look intentional and stylish.

Exfoliating the skin beneath your beard might sound over-the-top, but trust me — it helps prevent ingrown hairs, flakiness, and clogged pores, especially in the heat. A gentle scrub once a week keeps everything fresh underneath.

And finally, protect your beard from the sun. Yep, that’s a thing. Just like your scalp, your beard can get UV damage. Look for beard products with SPF or run a tiny bit of your facial sunscreen through the beard — it’ll save you from dryness and colour fade.

Address: 54C Kenway Rd, London SW5 0RA

Phone: 020 7370 6983

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Anna Kennedy’s Pride Column Pride Month & Autism column

Dr Anna Kennedy OBE Pride picture BY Annemarie Bickerton https://www.annemariebickerton.co.uk

Dr Anna Kennedy OBE Pride picture BY Annemarie Bickerton https://www.annemariebickerton.co.uk
https://annakennedyonline.com Dr Anna Kennedy with charity patron Steven Smith. Photo Annemarie Bickerton

Hi it is Anna here founder of the autism charity Anna Kennedy Online. Since starting the charity in 2009, my passion has always been to raise awareness, acceptance, and understanding of autistic individuals and their families. Over the years, through our events like Autism’s Got Talent and The Autism Hero Awards, I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many incredible people who continue to inspire me every day.

This Pride Month, I want to take a moment to celebrate our autistic LGBTQ+ community members—many of whom still don’t feel fully seen or supported. Inclusion isn’t just a buzzword; it means accepting and embracing every part of who someone is. I’ve spoken to young people and families who are navigating this intersection, and I know how important it is to feel heard, respected, and safe to be your true self.

This column is a reminder that you are not alone. You matter. You belong. And we see you and your welcome at AKO Love Anna xxxx

Why do you think it’s important to recognise and celebrate Pride Month within the autism community?
Recognising and celebrating Pride Month within the autism community is important because it fosters a sense of belonging, validates the experiences of LGBTQ+ autistic individuals, and promotes greater understanding and acceptance. This recognition challenges the misconception that autism is solely a deficit and instead highlights the unique strengths and contributions of autistic people. We’ve seen this time and time again through our events such as Autism’s Got Talentand The Autism Hero Awards.

What are some of the unique challenges that autistic individuals who are also LGBTQ+ face?
Autistic individuals who are also LGBTQ+ often face the challenge of navigating two distinct communities. This can lead to increased isolation and mental health struggles. Some people I’ve spoken to find it difficult to feel fully understood and accepted, as they may not feel they completely fit within either the autistic or LGBTQ+ communities.

https://annakennedyonline.com

How does your organisation support autistic people who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community throughout the year—not just during Pride Month?
Since launching our charity in 2009, we’ve always been supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. We’ve offered advice and support to individuals and families who’ve reached out, and we’ve proudly included many LGBTQ+ performers in Autism’s Got Talent, as well as nominees for the Autism Hero Awards. Our team includes a wonderfully diverse group of ambassadors, charity patrons, and volunteers who reflect our inclusive values.

Autisms Got Talent

Have you noticed an increase in autistic people feeling confident to express diverse gender or sexual identities in recent years?
In my opinion, yes—there is growing awareness, acceptance, and confidence among autistic individuals when it comes to expressing diverse gender and sexual identities. Research supports this trend, and organisations like Reframing Autism are playing an important role in empowering autistic people to explore and embrace who they are.

How can parents, carers, or educators better support young autistic people who are exploring their gender or sexual identity?
The most effective way to support young autistic individuals exploring their gender or sexual identity is through active listening, affirmation, and creating safe, respectful environments. This includes using preferred names and pronouns, sharing reliable resources, and helping them access both peer and professional support networks.

How can Pride events become more sensory-friendly or accessible to autistic attendees? Have you worked with any organisers to help with this?
To make Pride events more sensory-friendly, organisers should consider providing quiet zones, visual guides, clear schedules, and accessible information. It’s also vital to ensure authentic and diverse representation within the planning teams. While we haven’t yet partnered with organisers on this specifically, it’s something we’d be very open to in the future.

Do you see any stereotypes or misconceptions that still need to be challenged when it comes to autism and LGBTQ+ identities?
Yes, there are several. One persistent misconception is that being both autistic and LGBTQ+ is rare, when in fact, research shows a significantly higher prevalence of LGBTQ+ identities among autistic individuals. Another issue is the lack of visible role models and media representation. Although awareness is growing, we still need more positive stories and accurate portrayals of autistic LGBTQ+ people in the media and beyond.

What message would you like to share during Pride Month on behalf of the autistic community—especially those who often feel invisible in both autism and LGBTQ+ spaces?
My message is: “You are seen. You are valid. You are loved. Don’t be afraid to embrace your authentic self. Find your space, take your time, and know that there is a community ready to welcome and support you.”

Welcome
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Welcome to Heidi Gammon’s Advice Column PRIDE addition

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us

Happy Pride, everyone! just reflecting on Pride I thought Id share some background about me .

Becoming a counsellor wasn’t my first career choice. From a young age, my true passion was doing people’s hair. But strangely enough, hairdressing and counselling are closely linked. You know what they say: if you can’t afford a therapist, see your hairdresser!

In my case, it actually worked the other way around. My hairdressing career took off—I specialised in colour and built a hugely successful business. My CV includes working with celebrities and the rich and famous, and my colouring talent brought me into collaboration with some of the biggest names in the hair world.

But I always had a burning desire to really listen to my clients. No matter who they were—a rock star, a socialite, or a fashion icon—it became clear early on that we all face similar challenges: heartbreak, divorce, bereavement, anxiety, depression… the list goes on. People might argue that wealthy clients don’t have the same worries, but I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum. Money doesn’t always bring happiness.

That 16-year-old girl living in a Chelsea townhouse who wants to come out to her family isn’t so different from the one growing up in a council flat. Their circumstances may differ, but they’re both human and both deserving of support.

My fascination with people and their stories led me to retrain as a therapist. But it wasn’t just my clients who inspired me—it was also my own life.

I’m a gay woman and I came out in the 1990s. It was a brave move at the time—it certainly wasn’t trendy or widely accepted. We had very few role models: K.D. Lang, Melissa Etheridge, and Ellen DeGeneres were among the few out and proud. And let’s face it, lesbian characters in TV and film were usually portrayed as mad, bad, or dead. For many of us, The Killing of Sister George was the only reference point. Though it’s a classic with sensational performances, it doesn’t exactly paint a rosy picture of lesbian life.

(That’s why I’m so looking forward to the upcoming documentary on The Gate Club—the legendary lesbian venue on the King’s Road where parts of Sister George were filmed.)

When I came out, it raised a few eyebrows—even at the very trendy Vidal Sassoon salon in central London, where I was working at the time. Once word got out, some of my regular clients switched to other colourists.

While I had amazing support from some colleagues, moving on to other salons often meant facing homophobia—surprisingly, sometimes even from gay men. It’s not something we talk about often, but it’s real. Although my inner circle included fabulous gay men, there were definitely some who didn’t welcome us lesbians with open arms.

And believe it or not, I was refused entry to some gay clubs for looking “too straight”! Apparently, I was too femme.

Thankfully, times are changing. But we mustn’t take that progress for granted. Homophobia still exists in many forms, and we need positive role models, education, and continued activism to keep moving forward.

When I started studying to become a therapist, going back to college felt surreal. One classmate broke the ice by saying, “So proud to be your first lesbian!”—we’re still great friends to this day. But not everyone was welcoming. One peer was consistently rude and passive-aggressive. It was never openly discussed, but I strongly sensed a kind of veiled homophobia. Thankfully, the rest of the class were amazing, inclusive, and my tutor was truly sensational.

Back in the day, it would have been unthinkable to be openly gay in one successful career, let alone two.

Happy Pride, everyone! Let’s celebrate how far we’ve come. There’s still plenty of work to do, but I’m proud to be waving the rainbow flag—and I can’t wait to answer your emails.

Love,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

My girlfriend dumped me before the pandemic because she enjoys clubbing and going to bars. That’s just not my scene. I’m looking for something more meaningful—I want to meet someone and settle down. But dating apps and websites scare me, and the bar scene isn’t for me.
Alex, Bethnal Green

Hi Alex,
Thank you for writing in. You’re not alone—plenty of people feel intimidated by the modern dating world. The key is to find spaces that align with your values. Consider LGBTQ+ book clubs, walking groups, art classes, or volunteering for a cause you care about. These are great ways to meet like-minded people in a low-pressure environment. And if you ever decide to try dating apps, choose ones with detailed profiles—look for people who are also looking for something serious. Take small steps—you’ve got this!
Love,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and plan to marry next year. Recently, she’s expressed a desire to try threesomes, saying it’ll “spice things up.” I don’t want to lose her, but honestly, it’s not for me. What should I do?
Madeline, Manchester

Hi Madeline,
Your feelings are completely valid. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and clear boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you shouldn’t feel pressured to agree. Talk to your partner openly and honestly—express your feelings without judgement. A strong relationship can withstand differences, as long as there’s communication and compromise. The right partner will respect your comfort zone.
Take care,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

I’m 19 and come from what you’d call a “rough” family. My two brothers and I are all amateur boxers. My dad is a real “man’s man” and uses words like “queer” as an insult. I’ve been dating girls to hide who I really am, but one of them suspected something when I didn’t want to go all the way—she called me a “poof.” I love my family, but what can I do, Heidi? Should I risk coming out?
Mike, Blackpool

Dear Mike,
Thank you for your honesty. Coming out is deeply personal, and only you can decide when the time is right. It’s okay to take your time. You don’t have to come out until you feel safe and ready. Remember, there’s no shame in protecting yourself emotionally and physically. If you ever feel unsafe at home, reach out to LGBTQ+ support groups—there is a community out there that will support and celebrate you for who you are. You’re not alone.
With warmth and strength,
Heidi.

END

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us Do you have a question for Heidi e-mail us at spman@btinternet.com. mention Heidi

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QUACK ,QUACK IT IS THE PINK DUCK RACE .

🦆💕 Quack Quack! The Pink Duck Race Is Coming to Cambridge — And You’re Invited!

Something wonderfully wacky and heartwarming is coming to the River Cam this September — and it’s all for an amazing cause.

On Sunday 21st September 2025, Cambridge will host the UK’s very first Pink Duck Race, organised by the fantastic team at the Pink Ribbon Foundation, in support of those affected by breast cancer. 💖

Yes, you read that right — 20,000 bright pink rubber ducks will be released onto the river to race for glory, awareness, and fundraising. It’s going to be joyful, pink, and just a little bit bonkers… and we can’t wait!

🎀 Why a Pink Duck Race?

The Pink Duck Race is more than just a fun day out — it’s a symbol of hope and solidarity. Every duck adopted represents someone’s story, someone’s fight, or someone’s support. Whether you’ve experienced breast cancer yourself or want to stand by someone who has, this event is your chance to take action in the most cheerful way possible.

For just £5, you can adopt your own Pink Duck, give it a name, and watch it join thousands of others as they race down the river — all raising funds for breast cancer support and awareness.

💖 How It Works

  • 🦆 Adopt a duck for £5
  • 🎁 Gift a duck to a loved one as a meaningful gesture
  • 🏁 Watch 20,000 ducks race — live in Cambridge or via social media
  • 🏆 Win prizes if your duck finishes first (including the sparkly Gold Duck!)
  • 💼 Businesses can sponsor or adopt duck flocks with corporate packages
  • 💰 All funds raised go to the Pink Ribbon Foundation, supporting those affected by breast cancer

It’s a win-win: raise awareness, have a laugh, and maybe even take home a prize!

🥰 Can’t Make It to Cambridge? No Problem!

If you can’t attend in person, don’t worry — the race will be streamed online and covered on social media. You’ll still be able to cheer on your duck from anywhere in the UK (or the world!).

📲 Just follow @pinkribbonfoundation and @pinkduckrace on Instagram, Facebook, and X (formerly Twitter) to keep up with the action. There’ll be plenty of quacking content before, during, and after race day.

🛍️ Get Involved – Your Duck, Your Impact

Whether you’re an individual supporter, a family looking for a unique day out, or a business keen to make a difference, there’s a duck for everyone.

🫶 Want to show support for someone you love?
💼 Want your business to get involved in a meaningful and memorable campaign?
🎉 Or just fancy watching 20,000 pink ducks bobbing down the river?

You’re in the right place.

👉 Head to www.pinkduckrace.com/uk-2025 to adopt your duck today!

💬 Final Quacks…

This brilliant event is proudly supported by local and national partners including:
@qav_global, @intelligent_membranes, @brewboarduk, @cambridgerowing, @johnlewis_cambridge, @thinkpinkeurope, @skinster_h, and @thecraneevent.

Together, we’re creating a sea of pink, floating hope, and real change — one duck at a time.

💕 Let’s make history in Cambridge.

Adopt a duck. Share the love. Change lives.
Quack Quack! 🦆🎀

#PinkDuckRaceUK #PinkRibbonFoundation #BreastCancerAwareness #AdoptAPinkDuck #CambridgeEvents #FamilyFun #TeamPRF #25in2025

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Get glowing, confident, and celebration-ready from head to toe. Clare Mc Sweeney is here to get you Pride ready .

With Pride season in full swing, many of us want to feel and look our most radiant. Whether you’re marching, dancing, or cheering from the sidelines, self-expression and self-care go hand-in-hand. We spoke to an experienced aesthetic nurse – therapist to find out how to prepare for the big day with treatments that celebrate confidence, individuality, and skin-loving care I am here to help .

What are the best skin prep treatments to get that fresh, glowing look ahead of Pride?
In the lead-up to Pride, skin prep is key to feeling confident and radiant. Gentle enzyme peels or mild exfoliating facials help remove dull, dead skin while stimulating natural cell renewal. Hydration-based treatments, such as oxygen facials or hyaluronic acid infusions, give the skin a plump, dewy finish that lasts. Aesthetic therapists often recommend starting with a consultation to tailor the approach to your skin type and schedule. When your skin feels nourished and balanced, everything else — from outfits to energy — falls into place more easily.

Which brow or lash treatments would you recommend to make eyes pop without the need for makeup?
For clients who want to enhance their features while keeping things low-maintenance, lash lifts and brow lamination are brilliant choices. These treatments create natural definition and a lifted, wide-awake look, perfect for long days out without needing mascara or brow pencils. Tints can be added for extra depth and colour, and results typically last several weeks. Whether you’re going for bold and expressive or soft and natural, eye treatments are a great way to elevate your Pride look with minimal effort.

Can you suggest any express facials or skin boosters that give instant radiance for Pride day?
Absolutely — express facials and skin boosters are perfect for a quick pick-me-up before the big day. Treatments like LED light therapy, mini hydration facials, or vitamin-rich oxygen infusions can bring instant brightness and a refreshed appearance. They’re great for boosting circulation, calming redness, and prepping the skin for sunscreen or shimmer. Many therapists offer “lunchtime facials” that take less than an hour and still leave you glowing and party-ready. It’s a great way to build in a moment of self-care before the celebration.

How far in advance should clients book waxing or hair removal treatments to avoid irritation?
To avoid any redness or sensitivity during the Pride march, it’s best to schedule waxing or hair removal appointments at least 48–72 hours in advance. This gives the skin time to calm and heal, especially in areas prone to friction or sun exposure. If it’s your first time trying a certain treatment, allow even more time — about a week — so you can test your skin’s reaction. Exfoliating gently the day before and moisturising after can also help prevent ingrown hairs or bumps. Comfort and confidence go hand in hand, especially during Pride.

What are your top tips for keeping skin hydrated and protected during a long day outdoors at the march?
Hydration and sun protection are essential during outdoor Pride events. Start with a light, fast-absorbing moisturiser and follow with a broad-spectrum SPF — ideally factor 30 or higher. Reapply sunscreen every couple of hours, especially if you’re dancing or sweating. A facial mist can be a lifesaver for keeping cool and refreshed on the go. Don’t forget your lips and hands — SPF lip balm and lightweight hand cream can make a big difference. Staying hydrated from the inside out by drinking plenty of water is also key to maintaining that healthy glow.

Are there any gender-affirming treatments you offer that help LGBTQ+ clients feel their best during Pride?
Yes, many aesthetic clinics are proud to offer gender-affirming treatments that support clients in expressing their true selves. These can include laser hair removal, skin treatments for shaving-related concerns, brow shaping to soften or enhance facial features, or hormone-friendly skincare advice. What matters most is that clients feel heard, respected, and empowered. Pride is all about visibility and authenticity, and beauty treatments — when done with care and inclusivity — can be a powerful part of that journey.

The Fabulous Trixie Mattel

What Pride-themed or colourful beauty trends are you excited about this year? Have clients been asking for anything particularly fun or bold?
This year, there’s a huge buzz around vibrant, expressive trends that celebrate individuality. Clients are loving bold brow colours, glitter body art, rainbow-themed nails, and even temporary tattoos designed specifically for Pride. Some are opting for colourful hair tints or shimmering highlighter across the collarbones and shoulders. The atmosphere is joyful and creative — people want to make a statement and show their Pride, literally, from head to toe. It’s always such a pleasure to help clients bring their vision to life and be part of that celebration.

Happy Pride Clare

Smoggy Queens BBC iPLAYER a box set for Pride .

To book with Clare or media enquiries contact Steven Smith spman@btinternet.com