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The Passive Aggressive’s

By Steven Smith Stevens Viewz

Ah… the Passive Aggressives. We’ve all met them. They open their mouths and what comes out sounds like a compliment—but it’s actually a veiled put-down. Before you can respond, they’ve already moved on to a new subject. Like silent assassins, they strike, then dare you to recover from the blow.

If you say, “Hey, would you like that said to you?”, they recoil in horror and reply, “Why are you so sensitive, darling? It was a compliment,” shaking their heads like they’re the victim of #PassiveAggression.

From:
“I do admire how you keep going when others would have thrown in the towel ages ago—so brave,”
to:
“You know that outfit suits you—don’t let others put you off, whatever they say.”

Favourite?

My personal favourite came from a friend who’d actually introduced me to my now-best male pal. She told me:
“So glad it’s going well with you two… you shouldn’t care what others are saying about you both.”

Let’s not forget the classic:
“You can’t tell anyone I told you this, but so-and-so said XYZ about you.”
My reply? Always: “Why were they so comfortable telling you?”

Now, much passive aggression comes from strangers, but the deepest cuts usually come from people we love, see regularly—or worse—family members.

Madeleine, a dear friend of mine, simply can’t help herself.

We All Know a Few Wicked Queens

The trouble is, I love her, and I tend to overlook her barbed remarks. Picture this: dinner with a group of friends as she regales the table with a story—
“Oh darling, we were sitting up in premium class while Steven was way back in economy, squashed between two people.”

Everyone chuckles and looks at me sympathetically. In reality, she was also in economy. A bit further from me, yes—but the same class. Why make me the fall guy in her tale?

I don’t correct her. Honestly, I’m speechless. And who wants to play #PassiveAggressiveTennis? I know she loves me—really.

Spelling Lessons

Another agent friend, Antonia, has a wicked sense of humour, and her loyalty redeems a lot. I was so looking forward to lunch with her. She’d just returned from New York, promoting her girlfriend’s record, and we planned to pop into a gallery event where one of her friends was exhibiting.

But it didn’t take long for the first blow:
“Darling Donna [her girlfriend] and I were just saying—you forget what a great writer you are—pause—as you’re just such an appalling speller.”
Then, after another pause:
“Does someone help you?” she asked, casually munching a root vegetable like we were discussing the weather.

It’s true—I’m dyslexic. Spelling is not my strong suit. But after over 20 years writing for publications around the world, and two published books, I’ve earned my place. If it weren’t for journalist and presenter Jane Moore encouraging me—
“You have the voice. The rest will come—just do it.”

With technology, hard work, and mentors like Jane, I carved out a writing career. These days, people actually rate my work—and that means a lot. So I just smile and explain that yes, I have editors and tech, and the tools are better now.

Before I finish, the topic shifts—to Donna hitting the charts in the U.S.

Still Not Done

Later, at the packed gallery event, Madeleine introduces me to a group of people:
“Everyone, this is Steven. He’s a great writer—but can’t spell.”

They look bemused. Madeleine has struck—and vanished—leaving me standing there hoping no one starts a crowdfund for my spelling lessons.

Arlena & Real Life

Life isn’t like the movies when the passive-aggressive gang comes for you. Most of us feel like rabbits in headlights—unlike the deliciously sharp Dames Diana Rigg and Maggie Smith in Evil Under the Sun.

Maggie, as Daphne Castle, greets Diana Rigg’s character Arlena Marshall:
“Arlena and I were in the chorus of a show together—not that I could compete. Even in those days, she could always throw her legs in the air higher than any of us—and wider!”

Arlena retorts,
“Kenneth, what a surprise. When you told me the island was run by a quaint little landlady, I had no idea it was Daphne Castle.”

There’s a fine line between bitchy and passive-aggressive.

Mother-in-Law Moments

A friend’s mother-in-law, taken backstage after a show, hugged the leading man and gushed about how amazing he was. The leading lady popped in to say hello. She turned to her and said,
“I thought you were great… don’t listen to those reviews.”

Silence. The actress smiled, made her excuses, and left. When we later pointed out it was a line from The Feud (Joan Crawford vs. Bette Davis), the poor woman was mortified—she hadn’t meant it to cut. In hindsight? Hysterically funny.

The day before, she’d overheard me chatting to a famous pop star:
“Who was that?” she asked.
I should’ve said, “Mind your own business,” like my mum would. But I answered. Her reply?
“Why would they want to talk to you?”

Gobsmacked. And somehow, older people get away with more. She really is lovely, though.

LGBTQ and the Passive Blow

As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, we often face passive aggression. It’s exhausting.

At a wedding in Guernsey, where the bride was 20 years older than the groom (so you’d think a liberal crowd, right?), a woman rushed up:
“Oh, you two must be Mandy’s gay friends from London!”

She beamed like she expected us to burst into I Am What I Am. I tried some small talk. She wasn’t done:
“David is gay—from EastEnders!”
I replied, “Really? Amazing. I’ll look him up in the book.”
Her eyes widened, “There’s a book?”
“Yes, we’re all registered. I’ll bring you a copy next time I visit Mandy.”

Okay, that may have been me being passive-aggressive.

From:
“I don’t mind the gays. My hairdresser’s one.”
to:
“I’m all for it—but don’t you mind not being able to have children?”
We’ve all heard those.

Let’s not get started on the “bitchy queen” lines:
“Don’t mind me, it’s all in jest. I’m just a bitch.”
You’re waiting for them to hand you the poisoned apple. “Go on, bite, dear.”

What the Experts Say

Dr Pam

Experts say the best way to handle passive-aggressive people is not to react.

Self-help psychologist Dr Pam Spurr (@DrPamSpurr) says:

“People can be passive-aggressive for many reasons, but usually it’s because they have a manipulative streak.

If they want to put you down, the easiest way is with a backhanded compliment. It wrong-foots you and leaves you wondering what they really meant. That’s emotional manipulation.

She adds:

“Passive aggression often comes from resentment, envy, or jealousy—sometimes without them even realising it.

Some people, however, do know exactly what they’re doing. They enjoy the power of the subtle jab.”

Her advice?

  • Call it out calmly—especially if you see the person often.
  • If it’s someone you barely know—ignore it, put it in perspective.
  • Realise: it’s more about them than it is about you.

According to LearningMind.com, passive aggression also includes chronic lateness (to gain attention), controlling events, undermining others behind their backs, playing the victim, or pretending there’s no issue when there clearly is.

Psychology Today agrees:

  • Recognise the behaviour.
  • Stay calm.
  • Don’t take it personally.
  • Confront it if needed.

Blackmail and Backlash

These all sound simple on paper. But for people like me—who hate confrontation—even a kind challenge results in tears and emotional blackmail. I’ll do anything to stop someone crying.

Growing up, pointing out when someone was wrong led to a meltdown. Still today, if I gently mention something upsetting, I get:
“I can’t say anything right,”
soon followed by,
“I had a terrible childhood.”

Let’s be honest—in the UK, from the 60s to the 80s (and sometimes now), talking about feelings can feel like a deadly sin.

Teach Them Young

Signe Whitson, LSW, writing for Psychology Today, notes:

“Without directly addressing passive-aggressive behaviour, the pattern will play out again and again. For real change, benign confrontation is necessary.”

She argues being assertive isn’t something to fear.

I agree. Imagine if we taught kids that if someone they love says something hurtful, it’s okay to speak up and share how it made them feel.

As Dr Pam says,

“Sometimes they don’t even realise what they’re doing.”

END

Steven Smith
@asksteve2c
Psychology Today – Passive Aggressive Diaries
@DrPamSpurr
Dr Pam’s show + podcast series

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Steven’s Viewz How to Give a Bad or Good Dinner Party

it is not always the food that makes a perfect dinner party

Steven’s Viewz
How to Give a Bad Dinner Party

In the ’70s and ’80s, dinner parties were a regular thing. With shows like Come Dine with Me and the rising costs of eating out, dinner parties are making a huge comeback. Though some still entertain at venues such as restaurants, there’s nothing more intimate and fun than having a group of friends—or interesting people—over to your home for a private dinner party. But as much as a good host can make it a terrific night to remember, the wrong recipe for an evening can lead to a dinner party your guests will talk about for weeks—for all the wrong reasons.

When you’re hosting for wine connoisseurs or food gourmets, the conversation may revolve around cuisine and drink. But believe it or not, the best dinner parties don’t always centre on either. Of course, putting on a good show that doesn’t have you locked away in the kitchen all night is still a good idea.

In fact, one of the most amusing dinner parties I attended began with a call from a hostess who, not being known for her culinary skills and usually opting to dine out, invited me over to see her new kitchen. The day after the invite, she phoned:
“Darling, would you do your marvellous chicken fajitas on Friday?”
Asking was she planning a potluck (when everyone brings a course), Fajitas , don’t travel well. There was a pause before she added, “Oh, I thought you could cook?”
I replied, “No, it’s your turn,” and hung up!

Not my chicken fajitas , Mine look better .

I arrived at her stunning Hampstead home on the Friday. The table was beautifully set, and the new oven was lit—I was suitably impressed. The hostess had that pleased-with-herself look written all over her face; in fairness, this wasn’t her forte. Wine flowed, and nibbles were served, but an hour and a half later, no food had appeared. Looking at the oven, the chicken was still as raw as it had been on the Waitrose shelf.
“My love, is the oven actually working?” I gently enquired.

An hour later, we were still no further along. The hostess declared the new oven faulty and called for Chinese. We laughed and put the world to rights until two-thirty in the morning—it was just an amazing night.

It was topped off by a call on Tuesday: the repairman said the oven wasn’t broken—she’d simply forgotten to turn it on. I couldn’t help but ask when she was auditioning for Come Dine with Me. how she was going to cook ?
She replied, “Darling, you’re coming over and doing it for me!”

However, for your standard dinner party—especially if you’re not ordering in—don’t cook something that keeps you in the kitchen half the night or that hasn’t been tried and tested. Your guests have come to see you, not watch you stress. Pre-cooking as much as possible is always wise.

Also, always check what your guests eat. At one dinner I attended, they served an enormous piece of goat’s cheese as a starter. Honestly, I’d rather suck someone’s feet than eat that. I used the trick of eating without chewing, washing it down with water. Every time I looked at the plate, it seemed no smaller. Eventually, the host noticed, and I had to admit defeat. They looked less than impressed.

It’s smart to have eggs or a vegan option on standby—just in case a guest hasn’t disclosed their dietary needs.

What really makes a dinner party memorable is the company. Years ago, a socialite who was an expert at entertaining shared some tips with me. Never bring the same type of people together. Lady X would be far more intrigued sitting next to an up-and-coming artist than another socialite. Invite those who can sing for their supper—interesting, amusing guests who can tell a good story or keep up with the latest in books, style, or theatre.

Dinner or lunch party’s can be great but think it out first .

Bring five actors together (unless they’re in the same production) and you risk them trying to outdo each other.

Being a good host is more than just checking glasses and topping up wine. It’s about ensuring your guests are enjoying themselves and actually get to speak. We’ve all been to that dinner where the narcissist dominates the conversation—and even when they pause, they jump back in to reclaim the spotlight. As host, it’s your role to steer the conversation so quieter guests also get a chance. Ask about books, films, theatre—whatever might draw them out.

And please, don’t try to be controversial. Sure, a lively debate can be great—if you know your guests well—but don’t go looking for drama. It could end your night on a sour note.

Avoid topics like age, weight, salaries, and politics. One evening, a guest at a dinner I hosted turned to another and said, “You know, when we get to our age it all needs a little lift—but I love my forties.”
The guest was livid: “I’m 32!” she cried, getting up and leaving the table.

Let the conversation flow. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a Stephen Fry at your table, make sure everyone has a voice. And never, ever be the Machiavellian host who opens the night with, “So, who voted for Brexit?!”

Do not be that machiavellian host and try and spark controversy .

One of the worst dinner parties I’ve attended had all the wrong ingredients. We were eating out, so the food was decent—for some. There were quite a few of us, and things started badly: someone I love had reprimanded another guest for being late, which was rich coming from them. Pot, kettle, black, I thought. They’ve never been on time in their life. When I pointed that out, offence was taken—and they were still seething as we arrived.

Our host, Mark—though lovely and amusing—wanted to talk about one topic: a certain lady we’ll call Alice. He and Alice were once close, but no longer, which made her a target. Now, I love gossip as much as the next person, but I prefer it light, witty, and name-free. I’m known for knowing the gossip—but those who know me also know I rarely name names. I’m educated enough to entertain without tearing someone down.

But this monologue about Alice’s every fault dragged on and on. It felt like the only thing missing was Alice’s corpse—she was being verbally hacked to pieces. One hour later, Mark was still talking about Alice, with brief interruptions for “Let’s get another round in,” and one guest returning their starter three times. Some guests had begun looking at their phones. One even mouthed “Come sit with me!”

I suggested that, since we’d established Alice was a c—, perhaps we could move on.
That was met with, “Mark is talking—sssh!”

I would have left, but I was staying with one of the guests. Just when I thought the evening couldn’t get worse, a very late guest arrived—the cuckoo, who had seemingly replaced Alice in Mark’s affections. She briefly talked about another of my least favourite subjects—dieting—before the topic swerved straight back to Alice, in which the cuckoo revelled.

The toxic energy was palpable. Our host, smart as he was, was no Oscar Wilde, and only seemed aware of his own voice. Thank God I smoke—those breaks saved me. I even got a text from another guest: “Help!” They were bored stiff.

The cherry on top? Mark wasn’t even hosting. We were all going Dutch. After over two hours of his monologue, one of the guests even drove home drunk.

Here’s my final tip: If you’re hosting drinkers, be responsible. Make sure they have somewhere to stay, book a cab, or use a company that will drive their car home for them. As you pour that last tequila shot, you do not want to hear that someone was in an accident on the way home.

Happy dining,
Steven

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Michael Edde top hair and beard tips for summer.

Love Island star drops into see Michael.

Michael Edde, celebrity barber and owner of a legendary shop in Earl’s Court, London, is creating a buzz among locals, celebrities, and some of the best-groomed men in the city.

Known for his sharp cuts, signature fades, and impeccable beard work, Michael has become a go-to name for those who take grooming seriously.

In this issue of 2Shades magazine, he shares his top 5 summer tips to keep your hair and beard looking fresh, stylish, and perfectly on point — no matter how high the temperatures rise.

From heat-proof styles to beard maintenance in the sun, Michael’s expert advice will have you turning heads all season long.

Michael with presenting star Eamonn Holmes .

Top five tips for Summer hair .

Summer is all about keeping it sharp but effortless. I always tell my clients to go for clean, textured cuts that work with the natural flow of their hair — not against it. Think lighter on the sides and a little movement on top; it keeps things fresh without needing too much product.

Humidity can be your enemy, so choose styling products wisely. Swap out heavy waxes or pomades for lightweight clays or sea salt sprays. They give hold without weighing the hair down, and they let you run your hands through it without that greasy feel.

If you’re growing out a fade or wearing a buzz cut, now’s the perfect time to experiment. Sunlight adds natural dimension, and a well-blended skin fade can really frame the face and show off bone structure — especially with a bit of tan.

Shorter styles are ideal in the heat, but that doesn’t mean boring. Ask your barber for a cut that suits your face shape and hair type — something that looks good messy or styled, so you’re not locked into one look.

And finally, book in for regular neck trims and tidy-ups. Nothing kills a clean summer look faster than a fuzzy neckline or untamed sideburns. Little maintenance goes a long way in looking polished without looking overdone.

Top Five tips for summer beards.

Summer can be brutal on beards, so it’s all about smart grooming. The sun, heat, and humidity will dry out your beard faster than you think, so hydration is everything. I always recommend using a lightweight beard oil daily — it softens the hair, nourishes the skin underneath, and keeps you from itching like mad in the heat.

Washing your beard properly is key. Don’t just use your regular shampoo — that’ll strip out the natural oils. Go for a dedicated beard wash two to three times a week, and follow it up with a conditioner if your beard’s longer or feeling coarse.\

If you’re growing it out, patience is your best friend — but so is a good shape-up. Don’t wait until it’s wild and uneven. Pop in every couple of weeks for a tidy-up around the cheeks, neckline, and ‘tache. A clean outline makes even a shorter beard look intentional and stylish.

Exfoliating the skin beneath your beard might sound over-the-top, but trust me — it helps prevent ingrown hairs, flakiness, and clogged pores, especially in the heat. A gentle scrub once a week keeps everything fresh underneath.

And finally, protect your beard from the sun. Yep, that’s a thing. Just like your scalp, your beard can get UV damage. Look for beard products with SPF or run a tiny bit of your facial sunscreen through the beard — it’ll save you from dryness and colour fade.

Address: 54C Kenway Rd, London SW5 0RA

Phone: 020 7370 6983

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Welcome to Heidi Gammon’s Advice Column PRIDE addition

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us

Happy Pride, everyone! just reflecting on Pride I thought Id share some background about me .

Becoming a counsellor wasn’t my first career choice. From a young age, my true passion was doing people’s hair. But strangely enough, hairdressing and counselling are closely linked. You know what they say: if you can’t afford a therapist, see your hairdresser!

In my case, it actually worked the other way around. My hairdressing career took off—I specialised in colour and built a hugely successful business. My CV includes working with celebrities and the rich and famous, and my colouring talent brought me into collaboration with some of the biggest names in the hair world.

But I always had a burning desire to really listen to my clients. No matter who they were—a rock star, a socialite, or a fashion icon—it became clear early on that we all face similar challenges: heartbreak, divorce, bereavement, anxiety, depression… the list goes on. People might argue that wealthy clients don’t have the same worries, but I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum. Money doesn’t always bring happiness.

That 16-year-old girl living in a Chelsea townhouse who wants to come out to her family isn’t so different from the one growing up in a council flat. Their circumstances may differ, but they’re both human and both deserving of support.

My fascination with people and their stories led me to retrain as a therapist. But it wasn’t just my clients who inspired me—it was also my own life.

I’m a gay woman and I came out in the 1990s. It was a brave move at the time—it certainly wasn’t trendy or widely accepted. We had very few role models: K.D. Lang, Melissa Etheridge, and Ellen DeGeneres were among the few out and proud. And let’s face it, lesbian characters in TV and film were usually portrayed as mad, bad, or dead. For many of us, The Killing of Sister George was the only reference point. Though it’s a classic with sensational performances, it doesn’t exactly paint a rosy picture of lesbian life.

(That’s why I’m so looking forward to the upcoming documentary on The Gate Club—the legendary lesbian venue on the King’s Road where parts of Sister George were filmed.)

When I came out, it raised a few eyebrows—even at the very trendy Vidal Sassoon salon in central London, where I was working at the time. Once word got out, some of my regular clients switched to other colourists.

While I had amazing support from some colleagues, moving on to other salons often meant facing homophobia—surprisingly, sometimes even from gay men. It’s not something we talk about often, but it’s real. Although my inner circle included fabulous gay men, there were definitely some who didn’t welcome us lesbians with open arms.

And believe it or not, I was refused entry to some gay clubs for looking “too straight”! Apparently, I was too femme.

Thankfully, times are changing. But we mustn’t take that progress for granted. Homophobia still exists in many forms, and we need positive role models, education, and continued activism to keep moving forward.

When I started studying to become a therapist, going back to college felt surreal. One classmate broke the ice by saying, “So proud to be your first lesbian!”—we’re still great friends to this day. But not everyone was welcoming. One peer was consistently rude and passive-aggressive. It was never openly discussed, but I strongly sensed a kind of veiled homophobia. Thankfully, the rest of the class were amazing, inclusive, and my tutor was truly sensational.

Back in the day, it would have been unthinkable to be openly gay in one successful career, let alone two.

Happy Pride, everyone! Let’s celebrate how far we’ve come. There’s still plenty of work to do, but I’m proud to be waving the rainbow flag—and I can’t wait to answer your emails.

Love,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

My girlfriend dumped me before the pandemic because she enjoys clubbing and going to bars. That’s just not my scene. I’m looking for something more meaningful—I want to meet someone and settle down. But dating apps and websites scare me, and the bar scene isn’t for me.
Alex, Bethnal Green

Hi Alex,
Thank you for writing in. You’re not alone—plenty of people feel intimidated by the modern dating world. The key is to find spaces that align with your values. Consider LGBTQ+ book clubs, walking groups, art classes, or volunteering for a cause you care about. These are great ways to meet like-minded people in a low-pressure environment. And if you ever decide to try dating apps, choose ones with detailed profiles—look for people who are also looking for something serious. Take small steps—you’ve got this!
Love,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and plan to marry next year. Recently, she’s expressed a desire to try threesomes, saying it’ll “spice things up.” I don’t want to lose her, but honestly, it’s not for me. What should I do?
Madeline, Manchester

Hi Madeline,
Your feelings are completely valid. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and clear boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you shouldn’t feel pressured to agree. Talk to your partner openly and honestly—express your feelings without judgement. A strong relationship can withstand differences, as long as there’s communication and compromise. The right partner will respect your comfort zone.
Take care,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

I’m 19 and come from what you’d call a “rough” family. My two brothers and I are all amateur boxers. My dad is a real “man’s man” and uses words like “queer” as an insult. I’ve been dating girls to hide who I really am, but one of them suspected something when I didn’t want to go all the way—she called me a “poof.” I love my family, but what can I do, Heidi? Should I risk coming out?
Mike, Blackpool

Dear Mike,
Thank you for your honesty. Coming out is deeply personal, and only you can decide when the time is right. It’s okay to take your time. You don’t have to come out until you feel safe and ready. Remember, there’s no shame in protecting yourself emotionally and physically. If you ever feel unsafe at home, reach out to LGBTQ+ support groups—there is a community out there that will support and celebrate you for who you are. You’re not alone.
With warmth and strength,
Heidi.

END

https://www.counselling-foryou.co.uk/about-us Do you have a question for Heidi e-mail us at spman@btinternet.com. mention Heidi

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QUACK ,QUACK IT IS THE PINK DUCK RACE .

🦆💕 Quack Quack! The Pink Duck Race Is Coming to Cambridge — And You’re Invited!

Something wonderfully wacky and heartwarming is coming to the River Cam this September — and it’s all for an amazing cause.

On Sunday 21st September 2025, Cambridge will host the UK’s very first Pink Duck Race, organised by the fantastic team at the Pink Ribbon Foundation, in support of those affected by breast cancer. 💖

Yes, you read that right — 20,000 bright pink rubber ducks will be released onto the river to race for glory, awareness, and fundraising. It’s going to be joyful, pink, and just a little bit bonkers… and we can’t wait!

🎀 Why a Pink Duck Race?

The Pink Duck Race is more than just a fun day out — it’s a symbol of hope and solidarity. Every duck adopted represents someone’s story, someone’s fight, or someone’s support. Whether you’ve experienced breast cancer yourself or want to stand by someone who has, this event is your chance to take action in the most cheerful way possible.

For just £5, you can adopt your own Pink Duck, give it a name, and watch it join thousands of others as they race down the river — all raising funds for breast cancer support and awareness.

💖 How It Works

  • 🦆 Adopt a duck for £5
  • 🎁 Gift a duck to a loved one as a meaningful gesture
  • 🏁 Watch 20,000 ducks race — live in Cambridge or via social media
  • 🏆 Win prizes if your duck finishes first (including the sparkly Gold Duck!)
  • 💼 Businesses can sponsor or adopt duck flocks with corporate packages
  • 💰 All funds raised go to the Pink Ribbon Foundation, supporting those affected by breast cancer

It’s a win-win: raise awareness, have a laugh, and maybe even take home a prize!

🥰 Can’t Make It to Cambridge? No Problem!

If you can’t attend in person, don’t worry — the race will be streamed online and covered on social media. You’ll still be able to cheer on your duck from anywhere in the UK (or the world!).

📲 Just follow @pinkribbonfoundation and @pinkduckrace on Instagram, Facebook, and X (formerly Twitter) to keep up with the action. There’ll be plenty of quacking content before, during, and after race day.

🛍️ Get Involved – Your Duck, Your Impact

Whether you’re an individual supporter, a family looking for a unique day out, or a business keen to make a difference, there’s a duck for everyone.

🫶 Want to show support for someone you love?
💼 Want your business to get involved in a meaningful and memorable campaign?
🎉 Or just fancy watching 20,000 pink ducks bobbing down the river?

You’re in the right place.

👉 Head to www.pinkduckrace.com/uk-2025 to adopt your duck today!

💬 Final Quacks…

This brilliant event is proudly supported by local and national partners including:
@qav_global, @intelligent_membranes, @brewboarduk, @cambridgerowing, @johnlewis_cambridge, @thinkpinkeurope, @skinster_h, and @thecraneevent.

Together, we’re creating a sea of pink, floating hope, and real change — one duck at a time.

💕 Let’s make history in Cambridge.

Adopt a duck. Share the love. Change lives.
Quack Quack! 🦆🎀

#PinkDuckRaceUK #PinkRibbonFoundation #BreastCancerAwareness #AdoptAPinkDuck #CambridgeEvents #FamilyFun #TeamPRF #25in2025

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Get glowing, confident, and celebration-ready from head to toe. Clare Mc Sweeney is here to get you Pride ready .

With Pride season in full swing, many of us want to feel and look our most radiant. Whether you’re marching, dancing, or cheering from the sidelines, self-expression and self-care go hand-in-hand. We spoke to an experienced aesthetic nurse – therapist to find out how to prepare for the big day with treatments that celebrate confidence, individuality, and skin-loving care I am here to help .

What are the best skin prep treatments to get that fresh, glowing look ahead of Pride?
In the lead-up to Pride, skin prep is key to feeling confident and radiant. Gentle enzyme peels or mild exfoliating facials help remove dull, dead skin while stimulating natural cell renewal. Hydration-based treatments, such as oxygen facials or hyaluronic acid infusions, give the skin a plump, dewy finish that lasts. Aesthetic therapists often recommend starting with a consultation to tailor the approach to your skin type and schedule. When your skin feels nourished and balanced, everything else — from outfits to energy — falls into place more easily.

Which brow or lash treatments would you recommend to make eyes pop without the need for makeup?
For clients who want to enhance their features while keeping things low-maintenance, lash lifts and brow lamination are brilliant choices. These treatments create natural definition and a lifted, wide-awake look, perfect for long days out without needing mascara or brow pencils. Tints can be added for extra depth and colour, and results typically last several weeks. Whether you’re going for bold and expressive or soft and natural, eye treatments are a great way to elevate your Pride look with minimal effort.

Can you suggest any express facials or skin boosters that give instant radiance for Pride day?
Absolutely — express facials and skin boosters are perfect for a quick pick-me-up before the big day. Treatments like LED light therapy, mini hydration facials, or vitamin-rich oxygen infusions can bring instant brightness and a refreshed appearance. They’re great for boosting circulation, calming redness, and prepping the skin for sunscreen or shimmer. Many therapists offer “lunchtime facials” that take less than an hour and still leave you glowing and party-ready. It’s a great way to build in a moment of self-care before the celebration.

How far in advance should clients book waxing or hair removal treatments to avoid irritation?
To avoid any redness or sensitivity during the Pride march, it’s best to schedule waxing or hair removal appointments at least 48–72 hours in advance. This gives the skin time to calm and heal, especially in areas prone to friction or sun exposure. If it’s your first time trying a certain treatment, allow even more time — about a week — so you can test your skin’s reaction. Exfoliating gently the day before and moisturising after can also help prevent ingrown hairs or bumps. Comfort and confidence go hand in hand, especially during Pride.

What are your top tips for keeping skin hydrated and protected during a long day outdoors at the march?
Hydration and sun protection are essential during outdoor Pride events. Start with a light, fast-absorbing moisturiser and follow with a broad-spectrum SPF — ideally factor 30 or higher. Reapply sunscreen every couple of hours, especially if you’re dancing or sweating. A facial mist can be a lifesaver for keeping cool and refreshed on the go. Don’t forget your lips and hands — SPF lip balm and lightweight hand cream can make a big difference. Staying hydrated from the inside out by drinking plenty of water is also key to maintaining that healthy glow.

Are there any gender-affirming treatments you offer that help LGBTQ+ clients feel their best during Pride?
Yes, many aesthetic clinics are proud to offer gender-affirming treatments that support clients in expressing their true selves. These can include laser hair removal, skin treatments for shaving-related concerns, brow shaping to soften or enhance facial features, or hormone-friendly skincare advice. What matters most is that clients feel heard, respected, and empowered. Pride is all about visibility and authenticity, and beauty treatments — when done with care and inclusivity — can be a powerful part of that journey.

The Fabulous Trixie Mattel

What Pride-themed or colourful beauty trends are you excited about this year? Have clients been asking for anything particularly fun or bold?
This year, there’s a huge buzz around vibrant, expressive trends that celebrate individuality. Clients are loving bold brow colours, glitter body art, rainbow-themed nails, and even temporary tattoos designed specifically for Pride. Some are opting for colourful hair tints or shimmering highlighter across the collarbones and shoulders. The atmosphere is joyful and creative — people want to make a statement and show their Pride, literally, from head to toe. It’s always such a pleasure to help clients bring their vision to life and be part of that celebration.

Happy Pride Clare

Smoggy Queens BBC iPLAYER a box set for Pride .

To book with Clare or media enquiries contact Steven Smith spman@btinternet.com

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HAPPY PRIDE

Picture Graham Martin https://www.grahammartinphotography.co.uk

Steven’s Viewz for June

“Pride” means self-esteem, self-respect, and the joy that comes from being who you are. It’s a celebration of identity and community—and it’s also a protest, because the fight for equality is far from over.

How far we’ve come. In the 1970s, the only LGBTQ+ publication I knew of was Gay News—a paper I used to smuggle into my family home as a teenager. Mainstream magazines rarely showed gay people in a positive light, and doing so could sink a publication. In the entertainment industry, being openly gay could mean career suicide. Even being suspected of homosexuality could get you thrown out of the armed forces.

GAY NEWS IN THE 70S

I came out at 15, creating scandal at school and chaos at home. When my mum discovered my hidden copy of Gay News, she screamed, “There’s no such thing as ‘Gay News’, only bad news.” While she’s now a proud LGBTQ+ ally, back then it was a different story. Only my 13-year-old sister offered comfort—squeezing my hand and saying, “I always knew. I love you.”

My coming out story in “it shouldn’t happen to a hairdresser ” https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shouldnt-Happen-Hairdresser-Steven-Smith/dp/B09K26J4BN/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.mCYudsmV4vG2XzjxyILAAscQq8prYKvjRYbsFmH-wghbYMPnf5VrK1Zb-lfB7i_j.h4CFp6VG-vzMnfjrCOF2zP63fpHQJ5HglXF3BIwXZJ0&qid=1749533962&sr=8-4

My parents, desperate to “understand,” took me to the Samaritans, where I was introduced to a man who had been in the merchant navy who “knew about gays.” I remember his pale-blue jumper and the awkwardness in his voice. He warned me that not all gay men looked like David Bowie or Marc Bolan—who, I pointed out, were bisexual. He added, “If you go to Portsmouth, there are big, hairy men on bikes looking for young lads.”


Once back in the car, I asked, “Where’s Portsmouth—and how do I get there?”

Coming out still shocks some families. I’ve seen parents devastated by something they must have known deep down. In It’s A Sin, Keeley Hawes’ character, Valerie Tozer, denies her son’s truth even as he dies of AIDS. Another mother asks her pointedly: “What were you looking at when he was six? Ten? Fifteen?”

Today, LGBTQ+ teens are still being thrown out of their homes. Others are allowed to stay—but endure silence, shame, or abuse. All for the “crime” of loving someone, or being themselves.

Meanwhile, the same parents hand their kids toy guns and cheer them on during war games—yet recoil at a same-sex kiss. The hypocrisy is astonishing.

I cried watching Heartstopper on Netflix. When Nick comes out to his mum, played with grace by Olivia Colman, she simply thanks him and checks he’s okay. That’s the world we need. Fewer traumas. More love.

Yes, things are better. But the LGBTQ+ community is still under attack. Survival requires strategy—and education is key. We need LGBTQ+ role models in schools. We need to support young people who don’t fit gender norms. We need to tell our stories and make space for others to tell theirs.

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81059939?source=35&fromWatch=true

I recently had a woman say to me, “You don’t seem that gay. My hairdresser Eduardo is gay—he’s a scream! He does drag on Tuesdays.” I replied, “The Kray twins were gay.” She went quiet, then apologised. I wasn’t offended—but I had made her think.

Positive role models matter. Jake Daniels, the first openly gay footballer, recently made headlines. So have Gareth Thomas and Tom Daley. But the fact that coming out still makes headlines shows how far we’ve yet to go.

Jake Daniels super star ,

It was heartening to see David Beckham support Jake Daniels—but disappointing to see him promote the World Cup in Qatar, where homosexuality is punishable by death. Allies must not sit on the fence when human rights are at stake.

Let’s not forget: the gay community isn’t immune to internal bias. Flamboyant men are often sidelined. Some fear being labelled “camp” or “too much.” But icons like Quentin Crisp, Boy George, David Bowie, and Marc Bolan showed us that difference is not a weakness—it’s a strength.

Boy George daring to be different with Pride.

If an alien asked to meet a “typical gay person,” we couldn’t comply. There’s no such thing. Just like there’s no one image of a straight man—despite the stereotype of a pint-wielding football fan in a Union Jack tee.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt36961315/mediaviewer/rm721848066/

People ask me, “Why do you need Pride? There’s no Straight Pride.” My answer: “Be grateful you don’t need one.”

There are also calls to give Pride Month over to Veterans’ Day. I believe veterans deserve honour every day—but not at the expense of Pride or any other group or organisation One doesn’t cancel the other.

We’re living in frightening times. In countries like Argentina and the U.S., governments are trading human rights for promises of prosperity. In the UK, I fear the rise of Reform UK. We must not just defend our rights—we must be louder, prouder, and more visible than ever.

Peter Tatchell we all have to admire ,

At the premiere of Legendary Children: All of Them Queer, activist Peter Tatchell said that change comes from entering non-LGBTQ+ spaces and being a shining example. I believe that. I hope one day I can hold my boyfriend’s hand in public without fear. I hope one day, every child who comes out is embraced by their parents, not shunned.

We’ve made progress. But we’re not there yet.

And if we don’t act now, we risk going back to the bad old days.

legendary children all of them queer https://www.imdb.com/title/tt36961315/mediaviewer/rm721848066/
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June’s Book Club with David Nailer

Davids Book club

Hello darlings! It’s time for David’s Book Club Reviews, and I’m absolutely thrilled to be joining the fabulous folks at 2SHADES this month. What a dazzling array of reads we’ve had!

From a sSmelly kid who defies the odds to become a number-one porn star and entrepreneur (yes, really!) to a stylish serial killer stalking London’s high society and showbiz darlings—this month’s selection did not disappoint. And let’s not forget the gripping Bleeding Fabulous: The Life of a Haemosexual—a memoir bursting with sequins, survival, and serious heart.

There’s also a gorgeously dark gothic horror set in Victorian London that sent shivers down my spine and had me clutching my feather boa in suspense. Plus, 13 other twisty, chilling, and utterly addictive short stories in Criminal Pursuits 2—each one more devious than the last.

Yes, my loves, they all get five stars from me. Call me generous if you will, but I had an absolutely fabulous time reading every single one. Drama, danger, glamour, grit—and always a twist in the tail. What more could a queen ask for?

If you’re looking for thrills, spills, and a few cheeky chills, these are the books to curl up with (preferably with a cocktail in hand).

Until next time,
Love, David 💋

Screenshot

Review of Criminal Pursuits 2: This Is Me – 14 Dark Gems of Crime Fiction
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Criminal Pursuits 2: This Is Me is a superbly curated anthology of fourteen dark, twisted, and utterly engrossing short stories from some of the sharpest minds in contemporary crime fiction. As with the first volume, this second instalment delivers diverse voices and inventive plots, drawing readers into a variety of shadowy worlds where justice is murky, morality bends, and the human psyche is pushed to the brink.

Each story offers a unique lens into the criminal mind—ranging from psychological thrillers to revenge tales, noir romance, dystopian pacts, and unnerving hauntings. From the man teetering on the edge of a high building, to the woman whose inheritance turns deadly, the anthology brims with tension, clever twists, and haunting imagery. There’s a satisfying blend of styles, from hard-boiled grit to eerie suspense, that keeps the pacing lively and the reader guessing.

But the undeniable standout is Killer Queen by Steven Smith.
Stylish, razor-sharp, and steeped in a deliciously dark sense of camp, Killer Queen turns the serial killer trope on its head. Smith’s flair for the dramatic meets a gritty crime plot as he introduces a killer with charisma, vengeance, and unrelenting flair. The story pulses with queer energy and glittering menace, without ever losing sight of its emotional core. It’s daring, provocative, and gloriously subversive—exactly the kind of story crime fiction needs more of.

This powerful collection includes a heartfelt foreword by Lisa Allen, CEO of Pink Ribbon, who reminds us of the real-life battles many face every day. Fittingly, all profits from this anthology go to the breast cancer charity Pink Ribbon, making this both a gripping read and a meaningful cause.

An absolute must-read—for your bookshelf and your heart.

Review of Smelly Kid by Andy Lee 

Smelly Kid by Andy Lee (with Dave Taylor) is a raw, unflinching memoir that grips you from the first page and never lets go. With a title that hints at both humour and hardship, the book plunges readers into the unforgiving world of a poverty-stricken Dublin childhood, where abandonment, hunger, and homelessness were part of daily survival.

By the age of twelve, Andy had already experienced more loss than many do in a lifetime—left without parents and living on the margins of society. What makes Smelly Kid so compelling, however, is not just the depth of suffering, but the incredible resilience that rises from it. Through heartbreak, Andy never loses his fighting spirit, and his story becomes one of transformation and hope.

Lee’s voice is honest, gritty, and disarmingly humorous. He recounts harrowing moments with clarity and purpose, but also with surprising warmth. Whether it’s finding brief refuge in the kindness of a stranger or navigating the chaotic streets of inner-city Dublin, his story resonates with a raw authenticity. His later journey into the adult entertainment industry is told with the same candid honesty, showing how unexpected paths can lead to reinvention and, ultimately, self-empowerment.

Smelly Kid is not your typical rags-to-riches tale. It’s more than a memoir—it’s a testament to human endurance and the possibility of hope in even the bleakest circumstances. Gritty, heartbreaking, and ultimately inspiring, this is a story that lingers long after the final page.

For anyone who believes that the past defines the future, Andy Lee proves otherwise. Smelly Kid deserves its glowing 4.8-star rating—it’s bold, unforgettable, and deeply moving.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Soul Thief by S.L. Howe – 

Samantha Lee Howe’s The Soul Thief is a deliciously dark slice of gothic horror that plunges readers into the chilling depths of Victorian Manchester. A haunting and atmospheric tale, this novel is perfect for fans of Sarah Waters, Carly Reagon, and anyone who enjoys eerie mysteries by candlelight.

Set in 1888, the story follows the weary Dr. Warren Carter as he navigates long, gruelling nightshifts at a hospital cloaked in shadows. When the enigmatic and beautiful young nurse Rosie vanishes without a trace after a late-night drink, the unsettling tone is set. More disappearances follow, and soon, a private investigator is drawn into a web of creeping dread and escalating horror.

Howe masterfully conjures a fog-soaked world where danger flickers just beyond the reach of gaslight. The novel’s strength lies in its brooding atmosphere, tight pacing, and an undercurrent of psychological unease. From the moment Dr. Carter’s carefully ordered world begins to unravel, readers are drawn into a nightmare that feels both timeless and intensely personal.

The writing is richly evocative, and the characters are sharply drawn—each with secrets that deepen the mystery. The blend of supernatural elements with the harsh realism of Victorian medicine creates a visceral contrast that heightens the suspense. The twists are deftly delivered and genuinely surprising, with the final chapters veering into thrilling, pulse-pounding territory.

With glowing praise from readers and reviewers alike, The Soul Thief delivers on every gothic promise: a crumbling setting, spectral threats, and a slow-burn horror that lingers. This is a novel to savour on stormy nights, ideally with a flickering candle and a cup of something strong.

Dark, twisty, and utterly absorbing, The Soul Thief is Victorian horror at its finest.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Review of Bleeding Fabulous by Mark Ward –

Bleeding Fabulous: The Life of a Haemosexual is a powerful and unapologetically bold memoir by Mark Ward—a man whose life defies the odds, the stigma, and the silence surrounding one of the darkest chapters in UK medical history. With extraordinary candour, wit, and resilience, Ward recounts his journey from an ordinary boy in Letchworth to becoming the world’s first LGBTQ+ Ambassador for Haemophilia.

Infected with blood-borne viruses through contaminated NHS blood products, Ward faced not one, but multiple death sentences. Yet, as he puts it, “Faced daily with my own mortality, I chose to live fabulously.” And live fabulously he does—feather boas and all—delivering a narrative that is as heartbreaking as it is uplifting.

Far more than a personal story, Bleeding Fabulous is a searing indictment of the Infected Blood Scandal, a tragedy that devastated thousands. Ward’s role in campaigning for justice, including his instrumental work toward securing the long-awaited public inquiry, demonstrates his tireless courage and commitment to others affected by bleeding disorders, regardless of their sexuality.

What sets this memoir apart is its fearless humour, warmth, and emotional honesty. Ward invites readers into the rawest parts of his life, without ever losing his sense of style or spirit. His writing is elegant, often funny, and always deeply human. With a foreword by Sam Stein KC and praise from leading legal and medical voices, this memoir is both a personal triumph and a vital historical record.

Bleeding Fabulous is, quite simply, remarkable—a testimony to survival, to living boldly, and to fighting for truth and dignity in the face of systemic injustice.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A beautifully written, fiercely important, and undeniably fabulous read.

TATA FOR NOW . XXX David

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London’s Hidden Gem: The Firepit Gallery

Marcus Jake the man behind Firepit
Dr Anna Kennedy with the legendary John Lee Bird Gallery owner Marcus Jake .

In a city as vast and ever-evolving as London, it’s becoming increasingly rare to stumble upon a space that immediately feels like you’ve entered somewhere truly special. Tucked away on the Greenwich Peninsula, just a stone’s throw from the O2 Arena, The Firepit Gallery isn’t just another art venue — it’s a living, breathing community. The moment you step inside, you are immersed in a kaleidoscope of colour, creativity, and character. It feels like a sanctuary, a hive of inspiration and warmth, especially for those with an eye for flair, originality, and a desire for genuine connection.

Recently, Firepit Gallery played host to the closing night of The Autism & Art Show, a vibrant and inclusive celebration of neurodiverse talent. The event brought together an eclectic mix of artists and creatives, showcasing a dynamic range of work that broke boundaries and challenged perceptions. On hand to mark the occasion were some of the most exciting and diverse voices in the art world. Spanish-born street artist Piluca, known for her bold murals and graffiti-inspired work, joined celebrated photographer and artist Annemarie Bickerton. Also exhibiting was Alistair Blaster Artz, whose bold, futuristic pieces drew crowds.

Dt Anna Kennedy OBE with the acting royalty Vicki Michelle

The legendary John Lee Bird made a much-anticipated appearance, arriving just in time to greet Dr. Anna Kennedy OBE, a champion of autism awareness and inclusion. It’s moments like these — the spontaneous meetings, the shared laughs, the applause and admiration — that make the Firepit feel like much more than just a gallery. It’s a place where emerging and established talents mingle with activists, celebrities, and visitors from all walks of life. A kind of creative salon, echoing the golden age of artistic gatherings in Paris and London, where art wasn’t just displayed — it was lived.

Firepit is a home for Annemarie Bickerton celebrity photographer and artist .

I once described The Firepit as “the Willy Wonka of the art world,” and the comparison still holds true. There’s a sense of wonder in every corner, from the ever-changing exhibitions to the vibrant murals, installations, and sculptures that inhabit the space. It’s a gallery, yes, but also a home — one with a full-stocked bar, laughter in the air, and a real sense of belonging. It feels like stepping into a dreamscape where the lines between artist, viewer, and friend gently blur.

At the heart of it all is Marcus Jake, the visionary behind The Firepit Gallery. Marcus isn’t just the founder — he’s the soul of the place. Equal parts curator, host, mentor, and mischief-maker, Marcus has created something rare: a truly inclusive, vibrant, and welcoming environment where everyone feels seen. Whether you’re a collector, a curious wanderer, or someone simply seeking a safe and inspiring space, Marcus will greet you with open arms and infectious enthusiasm.

Gallery owner Marcus Jake

His vision for Firepit goes far beyond traditional art world boundaries. The gallery regularly hosts workshops, talks, performances, and community events. It’s a beacon of light for the LGBTQ+ community, a space where self-expression isn’t just accepted — it’s celebrated. From drag evenings to life-drawing classes, from vinyl DJ nights to panel discussions about mental health and inclusion, Firepit’s calendar is as diverse and electric as its art.

One of the gallery’s standout features is its monthly wine-tasting and dinner evenings. These events are less about formality and more about connection. Attendees gather around a long communal table, sampling wines and sharing stories while surrounded by stunning artwork. The conversations flow freely, from art and culture to politics, identity, and everything in between. These evenings have become a cherished ritual for many — a time to pause, reflect, and feel part of something bigger.

There’s also something very special about the way the gallery bridges the gap between high art and community. Too often, galleries can feel cold or elitist, but Firepit is the opposite. Here, art is accessible, emotional, and rooted in lived experience. Visitors are encouraged to talk to the artists, share their responses, and engage with the work on a personal level. Whether you’re buying your first print or attending your tenth show, you’re treated as part of the Firepit family.

The gallery’s physical space mirrors this ethos. With its industrial-chic aesthetic, vivid lighting, and rotating displays, it feels ever-changing yet instantly familiar. The bar is often the social centre of the room, where Marcus and his team are on hand not only to pour drinks but also to engage in meaningful conversation. There’s a nostalgia to the place — a reminder of the old salons and cabarets of Paris and Soho, where people came not just for the art, but for the dialogue, the inspiration, and the community.

Hanging out at The Firepitt with artists and friends

As London changes and gentrification continues to reshape its cultural spaces, The Firepit stands as a powerful counterpoint — fiercely independent, passionately inclusive, and gloriously vibrant. It’s a place where stories are shared, identities are embraced, and creativity flows freely.

In many ways, The Firepit Gallery is more than just a hidden gem. It’s a movement. A space that proves that art still has the power to unite, to challenge, and to heal. Whether you’re attending an exhibition, joining a wine tasting, participating in a workshop, or simply popping in for a chat, you leave feeling uplifted, seen, and inspired.

And perhaps that’s the greatest magic of all — not just what you find at The Firepit, but what it awakens in you.

So next time you find yourself near the O2, take a detour. Step into this creative haven where art, community, and a touch of magic collide. You may just discover your new favourite place in London.

The Firepit Gallery
No.2, Upper Riverside
10 Cutter Ln, Ground Floor Unit
Greenwich Peninsula
London SE10 0XX
📧 info@firepit.art
🌐 www.firepit.art

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Review: What It Feels Like for a Girl

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002c6nx/what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl

xxxxxx 5 star

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002c6nx/what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl

There is no doubt that What It Feels Like for a Girl is one of the bravest, boldest, and most emotionally charged dramas the BBC has aired in recent memory. Dark, funny, and deeply moving, it doesn’t pull punches — and nor should it. In today’s climate, where LGBTQ+ rights are often politicised and marginalised, this series dares to dig into the raw truth of what it can feel like to grow up queer, different, and determined in an often hostile world.

At the heart of the drama is Byron — a teenager who doesn’t so much come out as leap flamboyantly out of the closet in heels and an acrylic wig. It’s a bold characterisation, and one that instantly divides viewers between admiration and concern. Byron is played with remarkable energy and vulnerability by the talented Elis Howard, whose performance captures both the sass and sadness behind a young person trying to define themselves on their own terms. Byron is no victim — he’s fierce, intelligent, witty — but the world he moves through doesn’t always treat him with the same kindness or understanding.

The series is packed with dynamic performances, but none more compelling than Jake Dunn as the chilling and unpredictable Liam. Liam is, quite frankly, terrifying — a young man full of rage, confusion, and violence, embodying a dangerous masculinity that feels all too familiar. Dunn’s performance is nothing short of remarkable, tapping into a deep well of menace and vulnerability. It would not be surprising to see this role lead to awards recognition — it’s a BAFTA-worthy turn from a young actor in complete control of his craft.

Jake Dunn as Liam has to be up for BAFTA

Just as striking is Michael Socha as Byron’s dad, Steve. Socha — one of the UK’s brightest acting talents, known for his powerful work in Big Boys Don’t Cry — brings incredible depth and complexity to a role that could easily have slipped into cliché. Steve is a working-class father trying to love and protect his child while also wrestling with his own fears, prejudices, and sense of masculinity. He isn’t perfect, but he tries — and that attempt, that effort to understand, is what gives the performance its emotional weight. Socha makes Steve both gruff and tender, occasionally heartbreaking, and always utterly human.

One of the UK’s finest actors Michael Socha gives a brilliant dimensional performance as Steve https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002c6nx/what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl

The supporting cast is also excellent, rounding out a story that never feels one-note. Each character serves as a window into different facets of LGBTQ+ identity, family dynamics, and the brutal realities of adolescence. The script, while occasionally unflinching in its language and choices, never feels exploitative. Instead, it invites the viewer to sit in discomfort, to examine their assumptions, and to witness the daily negotiations and dangers that queer teens may face.

However, it would be dishonest to pretend the series is perfect — or without controversy.

In a time where LGBTQ+ and particularly trans communities are under increasing attack — in the media, in politics, and in public life — there is a growing call for stories that offer more balance, more hope, and more variation. While What It Feels Like for a Girl is undeniably powerful, it risks reinforcing some deeply damaging tropes. The depiction of young gay men becoming involved in sex work or aggressively pursuing unavailable straight men plays into harmful stereotypes that many activists and members of the LGBTQ+ community have spent decades working to dismantle.

There is a danger that a show like this, no matter how well-crafted, could be misinterpreted by those looking for ammunition to further vilify queer lives. It’s a delicate balance — representing the reality of some without suggesting it’s the reality for all. And in this case, that balance feels slightly off. Yes, some young people do struggle in these ways. But others do not. Some grow up in supportive families, thrive at school, fall in love safely, and live joyfully. Those stories matter too.

In many ways, this series is a reminder of the importance of representation — and the challenges that come with it. Authentic queer storytelling is vital, but so is diversity within that storytelling. Not every queer teen is a tragedy, and not every narrative needs to be soaked in trauma. What we need now, more than ever, is nuance. The right to be messy, yes — but also the right to be happy.

Despite these concerns, What It Feels Like for a Girl remains compelling, necessary viewing. The direction is confident and unflinching, the writing brutally honest, and the performances — particularly from Dunn, Howard, and Socha — are unforgettable. The series asks difficult questions and offers no easy answers. And perhaps that is its greatest strength.

This isn’t a show that ties everything up in a bow or gives us a neat resolution. It leaves viewers unsettled, maybe even angry. But it also invites conversation. It asks us to sit in the discomfort of the truth and to consider how we might do better — as parents, as friends, as a society.

In the end, What It Feels Like for a Girl doesn’t pretend to speak for everyone. It tells one version of the truth — raw, messy, painful, and defiant. It may not be the perfect flag-bearer for LGBTQ+ representation, but it doesn’t need to be. What it does do is open the door. It gets us talking. It reminds us that behind every label is a life — complicated, beautiful, and worthy of understanding.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002c6nx/what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl

END